I actually laughed at this not only because of the physical comedy but because the word LOOP can now be used as sound effect.
Never make anyone choose between their significant other and a pet. To me, the pet would win every time.
Even if you are a robot...
The last time I went to a club there was this girl dancing on the dance floor and there a rule in the Constitution stating that Brian doesn't dance but I really wanted to meet this girl so I attempted, looked like an idiot and was so involved in making sure I kept rhythm and all that that I didn't see that the girl had left with another guy.
Brian. Doesn't. Dance
It's 99 degrees where I am. 108 heat index. We're under a heat warning until Monday night which will probably be extended to next weekend. Don't go bragging to me about your 75 degrees Brutus or I will take one of your golf clubs and **** up your ****. Then I'll **** out of your **** and **** with my **** and if that doesn't **** then I'm going to **** you with my ****.