It's Suspicious Activity on a Canceled Credit Card, It's Not the End of the World, Arnie

December 15, 1965

THEN WRITE A LETTER AND MAIL IT TO SOMEONE WHO CARES!! THIS WINDOW IS FOR COMPLAINTS SO IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO COMPLAIN THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!

Surely, you saw this suit before buying it. You saw the long-ass sleeve, uneven button placement, and pants leg and said "I think this'll work."

July 24, 2024

Ok. Sure. I'll work 12 hour days. Do I get 4 days off? That's the only way I'd work 12 hours a day. Also, I need at least a $75,000 a year salary.

"Are they going to send you a new one?" What kind of question is that? I'd ask what was purchased that was suspicious? A bunch of calling cards from Mexico? Yeah, that's suspicious. A very specific OnlyFans model subscription? Maybe not so suspicious.

Dare to Dream

December 14, 1965

The best thing about these old comic strip is that I have to look up some of the references. Pablo Casals was a cellist and apparently a really good one. You can hear some of his stuff online. He was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by John Kennedy,

I enjoy that the kid is banging his head against the wall.

July 23, 2024

How can he be happy when Mother Gargle is visiting. I'm just assuming she's still here because the suitcase she brought yesterday was pretty big.

Latex? That sounds uncomfortable. I guess you're not laying on the latex, you should have a fitted sheet. You do have a fitted sheet, thank God!

So I guess Uncle Ted is looking for an adjustable mattress? Should be easy enough to do. Wipe that look off your face and get to selling!

Dreams-R-Us is a terrible name. I'm not a fan.

Femurs Are Notoriously Hard to Break

December 13, 1965

Toothaches don't just happen. This dentist has been in pain for a while. "I didn't want to go to the dentist because I know how awful and painful it is. Good lord, how I know!"

Just in case you couldn't infer he was a dentist, there's a dental chair and his DDS diploma in the background of the last panel.

July 22, 2024

A good moat and maybe one of those catapults that launch boiling oil...

I've often wondered if Art and/or Chip chose Mother Gargle's residence as Erie because it's close to Cleveland, because someone they knew lived there, or because it's like "eerie" and Mother Gargle is supposed to be like a witch. Her hair is specifically drawn to resemble a witch's hat.

I don't read my horoscope. I don't put much stock into that kind of thing. Although my signs do explain quite a lot about me when you actually get to know me.

It's probably too much to ask that Brutus have a broken leg on Friday.

Twack!

June 8, 1986

I mean, I guess...

I can't believe Veeblefester is out playing golf and he's not just sitting in the cart, doesn't have a caddy, doesn't have some goon to cheat and help him win, or some other annoying yes-man. You'd think Veeblefester would at least have a caddy. Maybe he's making Brutus carry everything.

I mean, I guess...I have absolutely no idea what is going on in this strip or what these words mean. Honestly, you lost me after titanium head.

In golf, do you have to get your ball in each hole? What if you hit the ball so hard that it goes in the next hole? Your at hole 3 and you hit the ball into hole 4? Is that a Par 0 and Par 1 or do you have to get your ball in hole 3?

If you or someone you know are having thoughts of suicide, contact a trusted person or professional counselor. If you are in the United States, you can contact the National Suicide Hotline by phone or text at 988.

My Ko-fi experiment didn't work so I will be using next to update and repost over here. If you would still like to support me or this website, you can still buy me a coffee over on Ko-fi.

Born Loser Roadshow

I am going to be trying something a little different over the next week or so. Starting today, Born Loser posts will be up on Ko-fi. The classic strips will still be there along with today's strip.

In today's classic strip, Brutus does some strange parenting and that doesn't include him quoting Prometheus.

Meanwhile, what is "watching something special"? Is Uncle Ted watching Blossom? Or maybe that episode of Saved By the Bell where Elizabeth Berkeley gets addicted to caffeine pills? Maybe he's watching the first season of How I Met Your Mother, one of the only absolutely perfect TV seasons.

To read today's post, you can go to Ko-fi here.

You're Gonna Look Fabulous

December 10, 1965

"This man will be perfect for my bland and boring daughter, Gladiolus. It's the only way she'll ever get married. I'm going to make him my executive vice president."

Are they going to paint their nails? I'll tell you what, if I didn't chew my fingernails, I'd paint the hell out of my nails. When I worked overnight at a call center oh so many years ago, we'd paint each other's nails to pass the time.

Hattie doesn't strike me as a makeup girl. Maybe they're there for something else. "I overheard my mom talk about her toys in her bedroom. They sound like fun to play with."

Late Night Post

December 9, 1965

Cream puff? What kind of descriptor is 'cream puff' for a car?

Hey, we got another funny hat.

Veeblefester is so upset at Brutus that he can't even look at him. Go home, enjoy your weekend. Come back Monday and we'll see how I feel about you then.

Summer Doldrums

December 8, 1965

That is an...eclectic group of women. More than one of them is clearly inspired by Wilma and Betty on The Flintstones.

Is that guy Mrs. Nooshnick's husband or one of those male escorts that are welcome here?

It's kind of mean and rude to be calling Brutus a born loser. I don't care if it is true, you don't say it out loud. Plus, losers are made, not born is what I always say. You want to stop being a loser? You have that power.

Two-Recliner Family

December 7, 1965

Yeah, sure, it's disturbing that the plane is flying upside down, but 500 feet is not very high up. The Washington Monument is 555 feet. This flight is definitely getting on the news tonight.

I'm too tired to look it up, but I don't think I've ever seen the Thornapple house with recliners. They are a feet up on the ottoman family.

Bathe Your Children!!

December 6, 1965

Someone's getting probed tonight! Lucky bastard.

All that for $40!? That is a great deal!

We had to shave our long-haired cat yesterday because he had a couple lumps that we couldn't brush out and they were really bothering him. It was definitely not $40.

You can't get Wilberforce to take a bath?

Strawberry or Cherry?

December 4, 1965

I understand that using K-W-I-T for quit is supposed to show us that Lunk here isn't the brightest bulb in the pack, but the dropout rate was around 15% and it was much easier to get a decent paying job without a high school diploma back in 1965. I know someone like the comic strip elite like Art Sansom wouldn't understand, but sometimes school just isn't for some people.

Gladys makes Brutus breakfast every morning. It's nothing special, Arnie.

So Brutus is eating a cold toaster pastry and drinking cold coffee...from a Styrofoam cup?

Why don't Brutus and Arnie carpool?

Foot Pain

When a group of bandits make an important cattle drive pass impassable, a group of cowboys--and Bess, a cowgirl(!), try to figure out a way to their destination. But, when their best shot, and Bess' boyfriend, is gunned down, a mysterious stranger steps up. But can he be trusted? Read Ride Fast for Wyoming!

May 25, 1986

Knowing Veeblefester, I'd appreciate the empty box.

First Veeblefester remembers I have a kid and their name is Wilberforce. Now he's gifting me empty boxes.

The walk-in clinic was too booked up to help you? You can't speak with your own doctor to try to get into the podiatrist? I know the American healthcare system is terrible, but Brutus just seems lazy here. Which I'll allow.

He dropped a can of paint on his foot.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Poolside

December 3, 1965

I can only assume that he tested it when done fixing it and the lamp worked fine. Therefore, the problem lies with the outlet, not the lamp.

I can tell you one thing for sure. I did not need to see Wilberforce's weird body today. Or any day. Nobody needs to see that.

Maybe Brutus Would Work Better If You Didn't Stand Over Him

December 2, 1965

Ha-ha! It's funny because it's true! Have you been to some small towns? If we can't have a good sports team then we'll just burn the town down!

Is Coach Thornapple Brutus' father? Maybe that's why we don't see him in current comics. He was hanged by his small town sports fans.

Tomorrow's Saturday so I am definitely not going to work on that report tomorrow. And now that you've insulted me, working today seems unlikely so you'll get this report, at the earliest, on Monday.

(440)555-1213 Is a Made-Up Number Anyway

December 1, 1965

I apologize that this week has been kind of hit-and-miss with posts. I didn't plan it, it just kind of happened. Anyway, what do we have here? The filing department is turning important into paper airplanes? That can't be good. Hope this business doesn't get audited or something? What's the 1965 equivalent of Enron?

That does seem kind of rude. But I guess it all depends on how you take it and how you perceive yourself. I do hope that Uncle Ted used some of the moves he learned in the military on that clerk. What war was he in? World War I? II? Korea? Vietnam? The timeline's fuzzy.

Eh. Why are you still paying for a landline anyway? You should be glad it's been disconnected.

Why is the ear piece green and the mouth piece red? Is it just to add some color?

Tuesday Quickies

November 30, 1965

Who's Princie? Another kid? A dog? It's not like you are moving at a high rate of speed, just open the door and lean out.

Gladys couldn't just leave the mail in the box outside their house? Maybe it needs a stamp.

Brutus is in the doghouse and he didn't even do anything. Even whatever is in his mug is scared.

The Other Team's Coach Also Tells His Players to Move In

We're going back to look at the short-lived Golden Age comic book character, The Cat Man by June Tarpé Mills. This story is taken from his first appearance in Amazing Man #5 in 1939. I like the premise of the story and it gave us this amazing quote pictured here. There's also some old Sunday comics for you and Gladys in a horrible "Super Mom" sweatshirt.

May 18, 1986

Veeblefester's tennis partner broke his hip? He'll be dead within months. I used to be pretty good at tennis. I think it was mostly because I took it seriously while most everybody else in high school goofed around. Is Brutus confusing tennis with another sport or does he and Wilberforce not play with a net?

Hey! Veeblefester knows/remembers that Wilberforce is Brutus' kid!

For some reason, I figured today would be a rerun. I love Brutus' skepticism and concern in the next to last panel. "Really? In what context?" You are not ambidextrous and definitely favor your right hand. Do I need to have a talk with this coach? Is this how I'm going to spend my Sunday? Beating up a pervert?

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Also the Screen Is Very Small

November 29, 1965

Yeah. Ok. But Cary Grant looked good.

Maybe he should try a hat that, you know, maybe, fits his head?

What? Are we talking about uploaded stuff on YouTube or something? Most places you can stream movies have an app that you can put on your TV and watch. Or was this strip supposed to be an ad for some kind of VPN? The real losers are those that don't use VPNs to encrypt their data.

🌈✨Wholesome✨🌈

November 27, 1965

Heh. That'll shut her up.

I don't see her holding cards, so she doesn't even get to play? She just has to sit there in a smoke-filled room watching these men play some low-stake games of poker? At least they aren't making her serve them food or something.

Is she able to leave the room?

Is the concert playing on the radio or are they just putting on whatever music they feel like? Do people just say one day "Want to go to a random concert tonight?" I never have.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Sizzle & Pop

November 26, 1965

I've had my fingers pinched by bowling balls before and that hurts, I can't imagine getting hit in the head with one at full force. Although, there is an Unsolved Mysteries episode where this man pummels his mother-in-law with a bowling ball and she was fine.

Yeah, it's quieter and I get to sit on my own couch. Also, I can stop fireworks and watch something I actually want to see.

Wilberforce doesn't get to watch fireworks on TV though. Maybe he's actually outside watching the real stuff.