Charity Begins At Home

January 19, 1974

She's the best! Well worth the money.

Who'd be giving charity to Veeblefester? Republicans and certain Democrats? Rich people suck.

I'm a firm believer in charity as well, but it's weird that it seems that most charities exist to pick up the slack that our society keeps dropping. That's not a good system.

I Think About It All the Time

January 17, 1974

"What vacancy" indeed.

Is this what we used to do to avoid working at our boring office jobs before computers? Paddle ball? I think we owe a lot to computers and the built-in games of solitaire and minesweeper.

"I work for Veeblefester Incorporated, of course I don't have $20. But I am thinking of it. And you."

We haven't seen Morty before. Clearly, he's worked for Veeblefester since possibly the strip from 1974. You can tell he's a long-time employee because of his porkpie hat.

That Look Isn't Flattering

January 16, 1974

"What vacancy?" is right. We'll just move the guy under you to your position, promote the guy underneath, and so on until we get to the mail room. Renfield will be so happy to be in the main office. He's been in that basement for nearly fifteen years.

Oh, Gladys, Brutus has a lot more pressing problems than a terrible memory. I mean, *gestures around*

I do think Brutus just walked into the room and Gladys stood up and began talking.

Gladys Doesn't Understand the Plight of Men

January 13, 1974

I want to know more about this doctor and the origins of the end of the house call. This guy was offered his family's drug store but he decided to become a doctor. Was that a good idea? I don't know. I do know I wouldn't use a doctor who had this hairstyle.

House calls declined in the 1960s. Most studies agree it's due to patients ultimately losing the ability to control payments to their doctor along with other factors like doctors valuing their time (even though patients' time is much more valuable and more wasted when visiting a doctor) and improvements in technology and care. I believe it's because of scenarios like this where too many patients called doctors when they didn't need one.

Or the electric razor pulled at one of his hairs. That hurts!

Little Brutus In Slumberland

January 11, 1974

Brutus needs his water. He goes through 20 of those tiny paper cups a day.

Where did Veeblefester come from? He wasn't there a second ago.

And setting himself on fire wouldn't work. No one would rush to put him out.

Maybe he's just really into his work right now. I mean, who smiles like this when they're sleeping. Actually, I don't think anyone smiles like this when they are working so he can't be doing that either.

A Saturday Evening Show?

May 26, 1985

I don't know if Brutus is seeing a movie or a play but if Brutus bought a ticket, then why doesn't he have a seat? Why are you standing? Just sit down! What are you doing? Now you're wet.

I don't think this strip needed seven panels to tell a joke. Brutus wanted to watch "Mr. & Mrs. Holmes" and Gladys says it was on last night which then starts a whole back-and-forth instead of "it was on last night, you fell asleep, luckily I recorded it". This is a three-panel strip at most.

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And He's Not Gonna Get Lucky Tonight

January 12, 1974

At least it was just a buck. I know that it's 1974 so that would be what in today's money? $70?

I will be honest, I saw the car and immediately thought Brutus was driving Uncle Ted somewhere so you can imagine my surprise when Brutus started talking about a date.

I'm Tired of Seeing the Thornapples Having a Landline

January 10, 1974

Ah, the days when you didn't need any piece of paper to prove that you could do a job. Now, nearly every job is gate-kept if you don't have a piece of paper or an overabundance of experience. And it's not even because of the money because they pay nothing even to people who have papers and experience. What? I oversee an entire department, work under a strict deadline, have to answer emails, report to a supervisor, and have employees below me give me reports? And I only get $65,000 a year?

Did Brutus get a job at eight- or nine-years-old or did he just lounge around his, I don't know, tree fort, for the next five to ten years?

What? This isn't a thing. Get out of here.

Team Cat

January 8, 1974

Gladys moved so fast that even her speed lines vanished before her words could.

I'm still wondering about the look on her face. Why does she get so...angry?...about money? It's weird.

Weather forecasters don't get it that wrong. I mean, I never believe the forecast until I'm in the weather but I've never seen a glaring mis-predication like this.

Most studies tend to lean that dogs are smarter than cats. Although cats have not been studied as much as dogs, the focus on them only beginning in the 21st Century. Many believe that the comparison is like apples and oranges as dogs and cats are so different and both tend to succeed at what are here to do.

But Kewpie looks dumb as hell here though.

Yelling Usually Gets the Results You Want

January 4, 1974

You sell tea cozies, how exciting of a day could you have? The bus run over your hat?

Geez, Veeblefester, say it don't spray it.

What does Veeblefester need? Maybe that story will keep Gladys awake.

No Brussels Sprouts for Wilberforce

January 3, 1974

Don't just stand there, Gladys. Get a broom.

At least the tree will easier to get out of the door now. There are these new things--actually, they aren't new, they were prominently featured in A Charlie Brown Christmas back in 1965--called artificial trees. You don't have to water it or clean up needles. It's also not quite the fire hazard. I mean, still kind of a fire hazard but not as big of one.

We've apparently been eating Brussels sprouts wrong this entire time. I've had the new Brussels sprouts with them being properly cooked and heavily seasoned and I'm still not really a fan.

And Gladys, why are you making something that people don't like? It's not like you made Brussels sprouts so you could try them. Clearly, Brutus has had Brussels sprouts before and doesn't like them. Then why would waste time and money making them if you knew he wouldn't eat them?

What I Wrote In the Tweet Is Better

For about two weeks, I posted The Born Loser comic strips on SubStack. I wanted to see if readership went up because of the SubStack link or even if tweets about the post got more likes or retweets. There was no change in anything and I think readership actually went down a little. Anyway, onto the comics!

May 5, 1985

We've all seen those TV episodes and such where a dripping faucet keeps a character awake. It can make for hilarious entertainment mainly due to the character overreacting to the situation. Now, I've had dripping faucets before but they've never kept me up. I don't see how they could.

Not cool that Brutus was sound asleep and Gladys woke him up because she's being inconvenienced. Get up and do whatever you need to with that faucet yourself.

I don't know what Gladys made but does Wilberforce not know what vegetables look like? I don't care what you make, I can clearly see the carrots or potatoes or even onions that you put in something. And I can definitely taste them.

Oh, God. A rerun.

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