Sunday, July 18, 2021

Golf Pro

I didn't know that golf had different terms for the ball going left or right. I figured hook meant the ball did something while slice meant the golfer did something. Learn something new everyday.

There are just so many poorly chosen clothing choices in today's strip? Is Brutus wearing socks with sandals or are those loafers? Ew.

Saturday, July 17, 2021

Omelette du Fromage

"I made a healthy egg white omelet for you today!" Why? What did Wilberforce do to deserve this? Also, you just gonna stand there watching him eat this? He says it doesn't taste good, did you season this omelet? Is there some sort of meat or cheese in it? Did you put spinach in it? You put spinach in it, didn't you?!

Friday, July 16, 2021

Brutus Goes Through 20 2 Ounce Cone-Shaped Wax Paper Cups a Day

Cuz Brutus loves looking at dat ass!

I've already talked about how I feel about the stereotypical relationship Brutus has with Mother Gargle, I'm now just disappointed they've dragged the work watercooler into it.

Thursday, July 15, 2021

Why Are You Talking About Your Smartphone? Is It 2007?

Veeblefester isn't going to slum it with the peons at their watercooler. He's going to bring his own bottled water or have his own watercooler in his office or right outside his office near his secretary. I mean, I don't think Veeblefester would pay for water delivery for his employees but that's a discussion for another day.

Wednesday, July 14, 2021

Gloat Bloat

Maybe I'm just tired but that first panel made my brain fart. It almost doesn't match what's being said in the last panel.

Gladys already agreed that Brutus doesn't gloat. She can't take that back now!

Tuesday, July 13, 2021

Bad Bed

You have to break it in first. It doesn't just conform to your body after one night. I had a memory foam mattress for nearly ten years and it wasn't great. Then we got a pillow top mattress which was just the worst thing ever. We've had a new mattress for a few months now and it's been really good.

What are we talking about? Oh, yeah. Uncle Ted should take that crappy mattress back. Hopefully it's still under warranty or whatever and he can get his money back.

Monday, July 12, 2021

Dinner Again

I'm just going to copy and paste my remarks from Saturday.

Ignoring the time of day you might be reading this, what's the funnier scenario that dinner is "still thawing"? Is Gladys just making a TV dinner? Or is dinner just a few minutes away and her special surprise is still frozen?

Sunday, July 11, 2021

I'm Sick of Brutus' 'Woe Is Me' Attitude

Panel 1: Brutus and Uncle Ted are sitting at a table, each with a cup of coffee. Uncle Ted: "You look a little down, Brutus." Panel 2. Brutus: "It seems like everything that could go wrong lately, has!" Panel 3. Brutus: "Why does it always happen to me?" Panel 4. Uncle Ted: "You're not alone, Brutus. I've had my share of misfortune as well." Panel 5. Uncle Ted: "As they say, into each life, a little rain must fall." Panel 6. Brutus: "How do you handle those little rainfalls in your life, Uncle Ted?" Panel 7. Uncle Ted: "Metaphorically speaking, I try to dodge my way between the raindrops!"
Brutus has been sick all week so I don't know what could've possibly went wrong. Anyway, I've been reading this comic strip a very long time and I don't think I notice Brutus going through anything more than your average person. We all have those days, those weeks, those months, or even those years sometimes.

Saturday, July 10, 2021

Dinner Plans

Most people read newspapers in the morning while eating breakfast or shortly after arriving at work. If you just read the comics, those are available all day and you can read them at your leisure. This comic takes a different view if you read it in the morning ("It's 8 o'clock in the morning. Why do you care what's for dinner this early in the morning, you poor man's Billy Keane?") than in the evening ("It is almost dinner time. I wonder what I'm having for dinner.").

But I think we can all agree that Brutus is not the chef in this scenario. He's more like a waiter because he's bringing the food to you.

Friday, July 09, 2021

Why Are They Just Staring At Brutus As He Walks By?

Panel 1: Brutus is walking by with five o'clock shadow and a bathrobe on. Wilberforce and Gladys are in the background sitting in a chair, staring at him. Panel 2: Close-up on Gladys and Wilberforce. Wilberforce: "Dad is sick, so what is he smiling so much about?" Panel 3. Gladys: "Any day your father gets off work is a reason for him to smile."
I was not expecting a three-part storyline. I wonder if Brutus is going to the doctor today or if he just decided, like everybody else would, that he's just sick and can deal with that himself.

That robe probably doesn't smell pleasant anymore.

Thursday, July 08, 2021

Sick Day

Luckily Brutus has a doctor appointment tomorrow so he can get a note from the doctor excusing his work absences as required by the Veeblefester Tea Cozy Company Contract Updated Volume 41 (revised 2020), Section 4, Subsection C, Number 5.

Don't be like Brutus spreading your gross germs around to everyone. Go get your vaccine to stop the spread of not just regular COVID but that delta variant and that delta variant variant. Y'all yelled about herd immunity last summer, well, herd immunity doesn't work unless at least 75% of the population get sick or get vaccinated. Quit arguing and/or whining like a baby and get vaccinated.

Wednesday, July 07, 2021

Everything Hurts and He's Dying

Brutus should be happy he got an appointment in the same week. Aren't most doctors booked out at least three months? Maybe Brutus' doctor isn't very good. Or maybe my doctor is overly popular.

Tuesday, July 06, 2021

Aches and Pains

Panel 1: Uncle Ted is sitting at a table with a cup of coffee. Brutus is standing in front of him. Uncle Ted: "Something felt different when I woke up today...and it still does!" Panel 2. Brutus: "Gee. That could be something serious, Uncle Ted. In what way do you feel different?" Panel 3. Uncle Ted: "Nothing aches."
Oh, good, the handful of pills you take at the beginning and end of the day are starting to work. I guess I won't call and double your life insurance...yet.

Monday, July 05, 2021

This Is a Rude Conversation

Panel 1: Brutus and Wilberforce standing outside. Wilberforce: "You should see Mrs. Farr-she's gained a lot of weight lately!" Panel 2. Brutus: "That's because she's pregnant. She's eating for two now." Panel 3. Wilberforce: "How many are you eating for, Pop?"
I can't believe Wilberforce is nine-years-old and hasn't been talked to about discussing people's weight. Maybe you can write off this discussion as a "from the mouths of babes" thing but, again, at nine, Wilberforce should know how pregnancy works.

Sunday, July 04, 2021

Will You Be Reading or Watching TV or Just Sitting In the Dark With the Dog and Your Tea?

I get not wanting to deal with the crowds of people but those explosions will still be a problem. I'm going nowhere near our city's Fourth of July show, which is across town, but there will still be no fewer than four houses doing their own shows around me. It's not going to be that peaceful, Mother Gargle.

I'm sorry but I just can't look at Wilberforce's shirt without thinking of this:

Saturday, July 03, 2021


Panel 1: Hurricane Hattie is leaning over the top of Brutus' chair, looking down on him. Hattie: "Do you know what I admire about you, Brutus?" Panel 2. Brutus: "No. What?" Panel 3. Hattie: "I couldn't think of anything either."
Hurricane Hattie is by far my favorite character. I like how she picks on Brutus but it doesn't come from a place of stereotypical hatred like with Mother Gargle but because Brutus is the closest thing Hattie has to a father and she doesn't know how to handle that or the emotions.

Friday, July 02, 2021

Nitpicky Friday

Panel 1: Brutus, Gladys, and Wilberforce are sitting around a table, plates and glasses in front of them. Gladys: "Don't forget to eat your broccoli." Wilberforce: "Aw, but I hate broccoli!" Panel 2: Close-up on Gladys. Gladys: "I thought you said broccoli was your favorite veggie." Panel 3: Brutus, Gladys, and Wilberforce are all back in panel. Wilberforce: "It is...I hate all the other vegetables even more!"
Just eat your broccoli you little shit!

Like yesterday's "I came, I saw..." claptrap where it was supposed to be the segue into the joke, here we see Gladys using "veggie" in place of vegetable not because that's what you do or it sounds good but because Chip couldn't squeeze "vegetable" on that line.

Thursday, July 01, 2021

Through the Door Darkly

Panel 1: Brutus is standing in a doorway. Brutus: "Let's see..." Panel 2: Brutus, still in the doorway. Brutus: "Hmm..." Panel 3: Brutus facing the other way, not in the doorway. Brutus: "I came, I saw...sigh...I forgot what I was looking for."
Well, you did walk through a doorway which has been proven to cause forgetfulness. I feel that what Brutus says in the last panel is...stupid. Does Brutus normally quote Julius Caesar when he enters--or leaves--a room? That's not right.