Scalper

Is Mother Gargle a middle school student?

Brutus Has the Right Reaction

I've already talked about February and how it sucks. What else we got going on in this strip? I guess we got Gladys saying "Yippee!" about the weather. Look, I like nice weather as much as the next person I, nor anyone else in the history of the world, has ever said "Yippee!" about the weather.

That Poor Chair

Gladys saying that Brutus was the only one who would go out with her kind of knocks Mother Gargle's idea that Gladys could have had Elroy Fitzbew into a cocked hat.

Is Gladys cradling Brutus like a baby? Is that what's going on here?

Catch-Up Friday

Cool. So it's just noodles, bread, and a mixture of soups? That sounds gross but not really surprising coming from this diner. So really, Brutus could reply "How is being terrible at making food a surprise in this place?" I mean, he's probably already used to the body fluids routinely dripped into the food here so.....

I've had this pet peeve for awhile but I'm finally going to touch on it here. How do people think elementary school classrooms are structured? When people write about them, it seems like they model them off of middle or high school. Elementary school is just one long class broken into subjects. Art/music/gym are the only subjects where the kids change classes.

Maybe it's different in other places but I've been a part of the public school system for over 30 years and elementary school has always been one long class divided into subjects.

Free Feet Pics

Brutus is in his underwear. I don't need this today. Brutus thinks his life is unfairly rigged against him. I'm just logging on so I can do my...well, I don't want to call it a job...so I can have some sort of constant promotion for my writing and I see this. And I just have to take it.

That's unfair.

They're That Bulge of Fat Near the Armpits

Islands off the coast of Portugal.

I'm curious as to why Wilberforce cares about the Azores all of a sudden. Has he recently purchased a Porsche?

Sorry, I'm Just Gonna Snore. Get Used To It

What's the doctor going to do? Refer you to a sleep clinic and have you take a study to see if you have sleep apnea? There's not a pill that'll stop snoring. You can suggest those nose things and ear plugs but the solution is to either lose weight or get a CPAP machine.

Brutus looks shorter today. Maybe he's not wearing his lifts or something.

Be My Cherry Pie

Malon Burget was born in Indiana in 1870 to Frank and Margaret Burget. The following year, they arrived in Topeka where Malon's education was received at the Kansas School for the Deaf in Olathe as he was deaf and mute.

Every day for five years, 1906-1911, Burget sent a letter to the Topeka State Journal with a predication. Despite being deaf and mute, Burget and many other Topekans considered him a prognosticator. He would make predictions on sports, elections, and the weather. His biggest predications being that J.B. Billard would win the mayoral election in 1910 (he would and would serve until 1913), the Athletics would win the 1911 World Series (The Philadelphia Athletics would defeat the New York Giants four games to two), and that the opening day of the state fair would be a beautiful day despite local weather people saying it would be rainy (it was a clear and beautiful day).

Burget was a good friend of New York Giant and fellow classmate Luther Taylor and was a well-respected citizen of Topeka. For employment, Burget typically took odd jobs around the city and was employed for a while at the city street department and the AT&SF Railway.

Burget died of an illness at a local hospital in 1924 and was buried, in an unmarked grave, in Rochester Cemetery.

Illustration of Malon Burget from an issue of
the Topeka State Journal, 1911.

Unmarked graves of Malon Burget and his father in Rochester Cemetery.

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Mother Goose and Grimm

I guess this comic strip is over. I didn't expect it to end like this.

Isn't this how Cathy ended?

Daddy Daze

Someone needs to to tell the Daddy Daze creator that just because you came up with an entire Sunday comic while running errands in your car doesn't mean it's a good Sunday comic.

Mary Worth

I, for one, am very anxious to see Toby cuck Ian with Cal. Will Ian be into it? There's a part of me that thinks, yes, he would be. Sitting across the room with a glass of wine watching Cal rail his wife, thinking about grading papers. Perfection.

The Born Loser

Hey, it's some stupid made-up day of celebration. You should make a complicated dish that goes along with it! No, you don't get a cherry pie. Unless it's a cherry pie filled with dog poo and knives.

If you would like to support my writing or research, and that includes fan fiction of Toby and Ian's marriage, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

You're a Stupid Basketball Game

I want to know how Mother Gargle made it 70-75 years and doesn't know what overtime is. I also want to know why she's upset at Brutus watching the game. He's allowed to watch what he wants on his TV. Maybe Brutus and Gladys should invest in a second set.

And overtime is not at all like an encore. It's not like the Bulls and Warriors finish the game and then decide to come back out and play another half. So really Gladys doesn't know what overtime is either.

The Vin Diesel Approach

I don't know why Brutus doesn't just shave his head. Why is he holding on to those measly scraps? Or, better question, why are those measly scraps holding onto him?

You know who else should just shave their head? Mother Gargle.

Feb-BOO-ary

February is a terrible month. I know November gets the bad rap of being cold and dark with leaves falling to the ground as if they've given up on life but February is much worse. February is a month of extremes and it's terrible.

Fun fact that Gladys may like: February used to not exist. Romans considered winter to be monthless. I guess it just used to be winter. When January and February were created by Numa Pompilius, they were at the end of the year. They were moved to the beginning of the year about 300 years later.

Honestly, we've had the same calendar for 440 years. It's time for shake-up. Who do we contact about this?

Brutus Is a Void

Hey! Brutus is actually doing work. How would Veeblefester notice a void in the office? He runs a well-oiled ship so one person missing won't be a problem. That you are wasting time letting Veeblefester know you are back despite being an adult and knowing what you should do. Come on, Brutus, get your crap together.

Before the Storm

All right. Note to self: Do not trust Brutus in a doomsday scenario. Don't get me wrong, I'd get what Brutus is getting, too. But I would also get the bread, eggs, and milk plus a bunch of other things.

Better tell him to get three of everything, otherwise he'll just come home with stuff just for him.

He's Counting, Calculators Don't Count

No, keep going Brutus. How many ways do you love Gladys? I've been commenting on this comic strip for 14 years and I haven't seen any reason that you should love her. And maybe you're thinking that I'm being a little harsh on Gladys but I remind you that these are fictional characters with no feelings so what I think doesn't really matter.

Super Bowl for a Super Mom

June Tarpé Mills was born February 25, 1912 and is best known for creating one of the first female superheroes, Miss Fury. While Miss Fury wasn't the first, she was the first created by a woman. Miss Fury, a comic strip, made her debut on April 6, 1941, was Sunday only, and ran until December 1951 when health problems would significantly damage the quality of the comic strip. Mills continued to work mostly in commercial art as many Golden Age artists would. She did a story for Marvel Comics in one of their romance comics in 1971 and some cover art for Miss Fury comic reprints. Her career got started by modeling in order to make money to go to the Pratt Institute and in 1938 she entered the burgeoning world of comic books working on Daredevil Barry Finn and the Purple Zombie. Working under the pseudonym of Tarpé, because "it would've been a major let-down to the kids if they found out that the author of such virile and awesome characters was a gal", Mills also created the character of The Catman--no, not this one--a former criminal who exacts revenge on his former gangster friends who left his wife to starve and die while he was sent up the river for 20 years. How exactly does he exact revenge? I don't want to ruin the surprise.

The Catman made his debut in Amazing Man #5 in 1939. He made a second appearance in Amazing Man #8 but it wasn't as clever as his debut adventure.

Oh! We're just jumping right into it? I don't even have my pants off yet.

Ha! They're all doing Bob Newhart telephone routines.

"Hello, Marge...It's George..."

Why does Barton look like one of the men above? It's very confusing.

Word of advice: If anyone ever tells you that they are "tickled t'death" to see you, they are, in fact, not "tickled t'death" to see you.

"Coming out party? Who's gay?"

I'm sure they are just throwing Bart money so he'll go away (we'll learn why soon) but what they are offering to give him is clearly vastly less than what they've made over the last 20 years.

Bart went to jail for 20 years, taking the blame for what these goons did. In that time, despite making millions, they just let Bart's wife starve and die. Mobsters are usually bad guys but they are honorable bad guys. These guys just plain suck.

Is that a little gadget that will blow every blasted one of us to eternity in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

"How is that a pleasant thought, Bart? Now I'm gonna be thinkin' about death all the time."

What? Now we're going to be spending all this time with an old lady and her cat? Well, I don't exactly hate it...

It probably took a year to train this cat to attack people. You would think it would come naturally to them--being God's perfect killing machine and all--but it's hard turning cats into your one-man army of the night.

I love this cat.

Yes tiddy

Well, at least these guys aren't turning tail at the prospect of the sudden demise of their buddy. "Come on, guys, you can't run out on me now!" "Sorry, but it's almost midnight. My wife don't like it when I'm out late."

They're gonna use a gun and chain-whip-thing(?) against whatever might Chuck? Seems poorly thought out.

All the men look alike in this comic.

Hmm. Do you think this old woman has something to do with all this death?

I once knew an old woman who went around muttering "naughty pussy". She didn't have any money though.

"Chuck had a bum ticker. His heart was weak. Our hearts are strong. Plus, all the cigars and booze probably didn't help."

Where did they get their flag of the municipality of Bonita, Brazil pillowcases?

Seems kind of cheap to shove all the plot points into the newspaper headline.

Must be a slow news day if a criminal realtor's death makes the front page (a "wuxtry" no less) of The New 

Yo̵̱͋̆͠r̷̡̤͋͌̇̓k̶̡̺̞͚̙̀̌͜ͅ ̴̧̟͗͌͊̎̄͛͒͘͘T̸̪̘͛͌̿̾̊́͊̽͝ḭ̷͕͌̓̈́̈͌̍͆͘m̴̼̽͗̿̌̇̈ę̷͚͈̳͇͓͔̙͛̈̽́͆͋̂͝s̷̟̲̲̼̺̺̩̞͇̔̂̚̚

Rude. This sweet old man woman needs help getting back to his her room. What are you doing right now that requires your immediate attention?

Why did they color these narration boxes red? It's terrible.

We don't get to see the cat scratch anyone this time? What a gyp.

She how POISON is underlined? That's a clue.

"I'll just jump overboard. You're not getting me who-I-think-is-Barton-Stone!"

At least he gets to die on a nice cruise. Like how many other dozens of people?

Pop culture would really have you believe that you can just ask if someone died and you get the full details. "Oh, someone died?" "Yes, ma'am. Mr. Hammond of room 403 was found dead in the lounge of a heart attack. He was 52-years-old, and his social security number is 239-..."

"The world will never miss"? Blackie got a front page headline in a major metropolitan newspaper!

All the blood in the world won't get you your wife back, Bart. But, you do look happier so what do I know?

Gotta love that cat!

Tarpé Mills died December 12, 1988 at her home in Brooklyn. A graphic novel based on a Miss Fury side character, "Albino Joe: The Man With the Tiger Eye" was unfinished at the time of her death. Nearly forgotten, Mills was inducted into the Eisner Comic Hall of Fame in 2019.

Portion of a Miss Fury comic strip. The risque illustrations drawn by
Mills elicited some controversy and even some cancelations from
newspapers.

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Blondie

Blondie should know by now that Dagwood's appetite will never be satiated. Never.

Funky Winkerbean

First, if Tom Batiuk wants to do comic books then he should just do comic books. Second, someone should tell him that the Comics Code hasn't been used since 2011, or the Cosmic Code in this case.

Mary Worth

Is Mary still smiling because Ian and Toby haven't started their rutting ritual yet or because they have?

How many times has Mary read Outlander? More than three times? Is she re-reading the series to build up to its latest release?

The Born Loser

Where's that table of snacks from yesterday? Why is Brutus recording the game? To rewatch the plays? All that will be on ESPN and I'm pretty sure YouTube may have some of that as well.

I see they locked Wilberforce up so he won't disturb them during the game. They'll let him back out for the Puppy Bowl. Brutus has a banana split on the line.

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