Friday, January 31, 2025

And It's the First Part of a Trilogy

A man with a bow and quiver runs away screaming from a man with a gun who he must've accidentally shot in the butt with an arrow.
March 5, 1966
I guess the archer (dressed as Temu Robin Hood) shot the hunter in the butt with one of his arrows. Why is that tree so prominent? Was the hunter dressed as a tree? I wonder if the joke worked better when originally printed and not now nearly 60 years older and copied and scanned to be posted online.

Brutus and Gladys are sitting down and watching TV. Brutus is sitting, you know where. "I read the listing for this movie and I don't want to watch it now," Brutus says. "Why? What's it about?" Gladys asks. "About three hours and I don't want to stay up that late."
Same, really, but most movies are nearly three hours, it seems.

With some exceptions, if you can't tell a story within 100 minutes then you have no business making a movie. I'm gonna go crawl back into my old man cave now muttering about the music the kids these days listen to.

Thursday, January 30, 2025

Is That Desk Just In the Middle of the Room?

A boy in a winter coat and hat and carrying a bindle is walking away in the night. He sees something behind him and begins running. "You just can't stand to lose that $600 deduction can you?!" the boy screams as his father drags him back to the house.
March 4, 1966
I find it funny seeing a kid basically scream "I'm nothing but a tax deduction to you!", but let me tell you kids something: $600 a year ($2000 in today's money) is absolutely not enough to justify having a kid. That money covers basically nothing of what it costs to take care of you.

Gladys is sitting at a desk--an old one kind of like a secretary, and is writing something with a cup of coffee next to her. Brutus stands behind the secretary leaning on it with one arm. "My resolution was to start journaling. They say it can ease anxiety," Gladys says. "I see you have a new notebook at hand. Is your anxiety any better?" Brutus asks. "I haven't written anything in my journal yet. I think my anxiety has given me writer's block."
I tried to do some journaling last year. I didn't like it. It didn't make me feel better or like I was figuring something out. It made me feel depressed so I stopped.

If she's not journaling, then what is she writing? Enemies list?

Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Kansas Day Quickies


A couple, a man and a woman in case it wasn't obvious since it's 1966, are making out in the woods with her in his lap. The panel zooms out revealing a smoldering fire and Smokey the Bear holding a bucket of sand. "Go away!" the man yells at Smokey.
March 3, 1966
This is how the fires in California started!

Brutus is angrily sitting in his green chair as Gladys leans on the back looking down on him. "Don't let what mother said get you down, Brutus. She's the type who when she has something on her mind she says it," Gladys says. "She's also the type that when she has nothing on her mind, she says it," Brutus retorts.
I don't understand why someone who treats you like crap and doesn't respect you would be allowed in your house. If anything, I'll be out. I'll be back when your mother is gone.

Tuesday, January 28, 2025

Tuesday Quickies

A man and a woman are walking down the street by moonlight. She looks behind them and then asks "Harvey, why don't you cast a shadow?"
March 2, 1966
Vampire, maybe? They don't cast shadows do they? According to some cultures, lack of a shadow means the lack of a soul. Maybe he's like Peter Pan?

Brutus is standing in Veeblefester's office. Veeblefester is sitting at his desk which has a big sack of money on it. "Due to your disastrous performance on your last sales call, I need to rein you in. From now on I want you to call me on the phone before making any decisions. Consider it a new leash on life at the company."
You could also, you know, just fire him. Maybe good help really is hard to find.

Is anyone else noticing the discoloration on Veeblefester's face and the back of Brutus' head?

Monday, January 27, 2025

Loser On all Fronts

"See here, Mr. Quit, I demand a $10 Smith, or I raise!" screams Thornapple at his boss, Mr. Smith. "Care to try that again?" Mr. Smith sneers as Thornapple vibrates with embarrassment. Thornapple begins to leave the office. "Oh, and Thornapple, don't stumble over the..." Thornapple has indeed stumbled over the watercooler just outside the office spilling water all over and hurting his pride even more.
March 1, 1966
Oh, good lord! My precious watercooler! Is it okay? Do we have more water to put in it? Get out of the way! I'll carefully and lovingly stand it back up.

Thornapple must stumble over the watercooler a lot considering Mr. Quit Smith tried to warn him about it.

Is that $10 an hour, which would be a good raise, or $10 a year, which would be an 83¢ per month raise?

Brutus and Arnie are at work standing in front of the watercooler. "Hey, you look like you've lost some weight, Thorny. Are you on a new diet?" "Yeah, Gladys finally came up with something that works...A timer lock on the refrigerator door."
Ok. But what about the cabinets? All my crappy food is in the pantry corner, in cabinets, or on the counter. Maybe the Thornapples refrigerate everything even if it doesn't need it.

Sunday, January 26, 2025

White People

Brutus walks up to Veeblefester, who is standing next to the watercooler. "You look worried..." he says. "Something bothering you?" "You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Veeblefester sighs. "Try me." "No." "Hey, maybe I can help." "Oh, very well. That raise you've pestered me for...It's yours!" "I don't believe it!" Brutus exclaims excitedly." Veeblefester takes a drink of water. "I wouldn't either..."
September 14, 1986
Is the same raise Brutus was kicking his telephone over last week? Is Veeblefester standing next to the water cooler like a commoner? That I don't believe.

Brutus walks up to Gladys in the kitchen. "What are you up to, Gladys?" "Remember when I said I wanted to paint the kitchen white? Well, I decided to pick out some paint chips to select the perfect shade of white, so I can get started. I'd like you to weigh in with your preferences of these paint samples," Gladys holds up paint chips that are all basically the same shade of white. "Here's Ahab's Whale White, Surrender Flag White, Shade of Pale White, and Poltergeist White." "Gee, Gladys, they're all nice and they're very similar. Whichever one you pick will be all white with me!"
Mm. I'm torn between Surrender Flag White and Poltergeist White. I'm leaning Poltergeist White, but I would paint my kitchen a nice blue with a vintage-looking tile backsplash. Maybe a blue a little lighter than the sweater Brutus is wearing.





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Saturday, January 25, 2025

Get the Heart Pumping

A woman is angrily talking on the telephone. "Oh, it's not that Brutus wouldn't like to attend the PTA meeting with me tonight, Marge...It's just that he's going to have a nasty headache!" Brutus, who is painting the house, has scrawled NO NO NO NO NO on the wall and on his wife's blouse in paint.
February 28, 1966
I'm all for painting NO on the wall, but on your wife? Brutus deserves whatever happens that gives him his headache.

Why is it such a big deal to go to this PTA meeting? Do both parents need to go? If she doesn't want to go without her husband, then maybe she just needs to quit.

Brutus comes into the kitchen covered in snow. Gladys is sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. "Phew! It took me an hour to shovel the drive. I'm exhausted!" "It's Saturday. Where do you have to go today that the drive couldn't wait?" asks Gladys. "I want to go to the gym to work out."
I have never seen Brutus at the gym. Does Brutus think the diner he always goes to is a gym? He should go to the doctor and make sure his brain is okay.

And why is he covered in snow?!

Friday, January 24, 2025

Never Steal Anything Wet

February 26, 1966
How "stolen" is this car? If the police know it's missing then that could be a problem, but if no one knows then a stolen police car could be an asset. People won't look twice at it, it won't be pulled over, and you can play with the lights and siren.

I'm glad to see our mobsters back. I mean, I don't think it's exactly the same mobsters, but it's nearly a month later. Mobsters die all the time.

Is Beach Blanket Bingo a boring movie? I mean, it's a stupid teenager beach party film but isn't it one of the better ones that most people know? I've never seen it, but I have seen Catalina Caper and that isn't boring at all.

Thursday, January 23, 2025

Sources Say 'No'

Two men are riding in a gondola, angry at the journey, but it is probably because the gondolier is singing The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond with a loud "By yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie braes, where the sun shines bright on Loch Lomond..."
February 25, 1966
The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond is a Scottish folk song attributed to the Jacobite rising back in 1745. You may recognize it from a season eight episode of The Office. What you all may remember if you watched old cartoons and sitcoms is from the chorus: "O ye'll tak' the high road, and I'll tak' the low road, And I'll be in Scotland afore ye." That's where the good stuff is.

Are these two men trying to take a romantic gondola ride?

Brutus is at the fortune teller again. She is leaning in, looking really hard into the crystal ball. "Hmm..." she sighs. "What do you see about my future? Is it good? Is it bad?" Brutus practically begs. "I can't see anything in your future."
She is really leaning into that crystal ball. If my fortune teller had to look that hard to see my future, I'd ask for my money back.

Wednesday, January 22, 2025

Chekov's Trashcan

A man and woman--I'm assuming they are married--are arm wrestling. The wife wins and the husband suggests two out of three. He loses again and asks for three out of five. "What you lack in strength, you make up for in persistence," his wife says.
February 24, 1966
There is a running gag in Murder, She Wrote, where Sheriff Metzger's (Ron Masak) wife, Adele, is a fairly burly and strong woman. In one episode, Sheriff Metzger says he has to get back into shape because Adele has been beating him constantly in their arm wrestling matches. He then says that he "usually wins a couple".

Maybe it's not persistence, but more of a kink. She even calls him "tiger". In the first and third panel, that is a man getting his rocks off.

Brutus and Veeblefester are standing in an office. Veeblefester is holding a stack of paper. "What did I think of your design proposals?" Veeblefester asks. In the next panel, Brutus has a green trashcan on his head. Veeblefester has left. "Okay. I get the message. Can I take this off now? Chief? Are you still there?"
Why are you asking permission? Just take it off. Your employer can't humiliate you like this.

Tuesday, January 21, 2025

Is Hattie Brutus' Best Friend?

A firing squad stands at the right of the panel. The intended victim is still standing, all in white with his arms behind his back and a cigarette in his mouth. The commander is lying dead on the ground riddled with bullet holes. One of the firing squad guys says "Talk about a persuasive speaker..."
February 23, 1966
Viva la Revolution!!

Living in a country where firing squads might become the norm, I hope there are some out there able to convince the soldiers to direct their rifles over to the commander. I'm surprised he was allowed to talk enough to sway opinion.

Brutus is sitting in his green chair with Hurricane Hattie hanging off the back of it. "Bet you can't solve my riddle! What do you get when you cross a rooster and a crocodile?" Hattie asks. "I don't know," Brutus answers. "A croco-doodle-doo."
Aren't roosters and crocodiles essentially the same thing? Modern day dinosaurs? My amalgam of crocodile and rooster--croosterdile--makes a bit more sense. But I give this riddle a solid 4.7 out of 5. It's way better than Gladys' pathetic attempt.

Monday, January 20, 2025

Weigh Your Weight Away

I wrote this post about John Quincy Adams back before the 2016 election. Adams is quite possibly the most qualified person to ever run for president. Sadly, dirty D.C. politics and Andrew Jackson would screw up what could've been a very prominent legacy.

A man is playing fetch with his dog, throwing a bone in each panel until the last one when the dog returns instead with a policeman's cap.
February 22, 1966
Now you might be thinking that the officer will understand and take the dog stealing his hat as a little joke. Ha ha. Right? Well, all cops are bastards so this man will at least get a long lecture about watching where you play with your dog all while using his nightstick to get his point across.

Did the bone knock the hat off? Did the dog jump to take the hat? Was the hat already on the ground? Is the policeman lying dead in an alley?

Brutus and Gladys are walking into the bathroom together. "The doctor told me if I want to lose weight, I should weigh myself every morning," Brutus says. In the bathroom, Brutus stands on a scale and sighs dejectedly as Gladys watches. "I think he meant in addition to dieting..." Gladys points out.
Ok, but are either of you going to use the bathroom...?

Sunday, January 19, 2025

Just Order What You Want

Brutus is in the background on the telephone while Gladys walks by with a stack of books. Gladys then joins him and he begins kicking the telephone stand , jumping around and almost having a tantrum like a child. He collapses in a chair. "Well, don't keep me in suspense," Gladys says. "Did you get the raise or not?"
September 7, 1986
Brutus is acting like several people I see online talking about TikTok over the last twelve hours.

Calling over the phone to ask for a raise seems weird. I mean, having to ask for a raise has always been weird to me. You shouldn't have to ask for one, you just get one. If I asked for a raise at any of my jobs, they would've just laughed at me and talked to me about "modest, scheduled raises" every year or whatever.

Brutus and Gladys are at a fancy restaurant. The waiter stands next to the table. "The chef has a special this evening not on the menu. Beef wellington. Only fifty dollars. If you have made your selection, may I take your orders?" "After you, my dear," Brutus invites. "I'll have whatever my husband is having," Gladys answers. "Very well. And what will you have, sir?" "I'll have the spaghet..." but Gladys interrupts. "He'll have the beef wellington. And I'll have what he's having!"
Why can't Brutus have the spaghetti? Why can't she just order the beef wellington? If the beef wellington is $50 and on special, how much is this spaghetti?

Beef wellington is just a fancy corn dog.





Don't forget to check out the first month of Art Samson and Russ Winterbotham's Chris Welkin, Planeteer that posted yesterday. If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Saturday, January 18, 2025

What Man Doesn't Enjoy a Good Lie Down?

Two men are standing next to each other with martini glasses in their hands. One man says "Know what, Floyd? I wish my wife had a mouth this big!" and the man opens his mouth fairly wide, it's taking up the entire bottom half of his face. "Heh heh. Why Brutus?" Brutus responds "Because my wife has a mouth this big," Brutus opens his mouth more. It's now taking up 2/3 of his face and the two men laugh. The stop abruptly, caught off guard by Brutus' wife suddenly appearing behind them.
February 21, 1966
I actually laughed out loud at this. I don't really know why. I do find it funny seeing Brutus open his mouth wider to make fun of his wife. I mean, who does this?

And I immediately go to something dirty and sexual about why he wants his wife's mouth a certain size so what does that say about me?

Brutus is lounging on the couch (in his sweater, pants, and socks) as Wilberforce walks up. "What're ya doing, Pop?" "Oh, nothing." "Are you gonna be just doing that all day?" "You say that like it's a bad thing..."
For the love of Jeezum Crow, it's Saturday! Let a goddamn working person lounge around on Saturday! Do you want to go do something, Wilberforce? Then just say so! Quit lazy-shaming a person!





17 Years Entertaining Maybe One or Two Dozen People!
2008 - 2025

Chris Welkin, Planeteer #1

I have been doing commentary on The Born Loser for 17 years. I know more about these characters than I ever thought possible and about the life and family of Art and Chip Sansom, mostly thanks to the Official Born Loser Facebook Page where Chip comments quite a bit and posts behind-the-scene stuff that his father did.

One of the things I learned was that before Art created The Born Loser, he was a staff artist for NEA (Newspaper Enterprise Association) so he would do basically anonymous fill-in stuff for the syndicate. His, I guess you could say, big break came in 1951 when he began doing the art for Russ Winterbotham's Chris Welkin, Planeteer. Chris Welkin was a science fiction soap opera comic and I don't have any point of reference for it. It showcases a different look for Art's style, a more serious and human-like look unlike The Born Loser where everything is cartoony and a bit exaggerated.

Russell R. Winterbotham, going by the pen names R.R. Winterbotham, Russ Winterbotham, J. Harvey Bond, and Franklin Hedley, was born in Salina, Kansas in 1904. He wrote westerns and science fiction, his biggest claim to fame being writing on the comic strip Red Ryder. He would pass away in 1971 in Bay Village, Ohio. When he wasn't writing, Winterbotham was the fiction editor for Scripps-Howard NEA news service.

This is the first month of Chris Welkin, Planeteer which ran from November 5, 1951 to November 30, 1951. The next month will be a future post.