Sunday, December 15, 2019

Tauy Creek Digest #58: Obligatory Christmas Story

Dominic and Ryan drove to work together. In front of the Tank N Tummy was a storefront Santa smiling and waving and shouting "ho-ho-ho" to the people that entered the store. "I can't believe Harvey still rents out a Santa to stand in front of the store," Ryan said.

"It's still pretty profitable," Dominic explained. "It still gets him about $100 for charity."

"What charity did Harvey go with this year?"

"It's called SWITCH. It's supposed to help people in the transgender community get the surgeries they need to be who they are," Dominic said.

"Ah. So Harvey wants to buy a Nintendo Switch."

"Pretty much."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" the Santa greeted as Dominic and Ryan passed by.

"Ho-Ho-Ho, to you too, Santa. Have a Merry Christmas," Ryan flipped a couple of quarters into the bucket sitting next to the Santa.

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa repeated. The Santa then drew a gloved finger across his throat while staring directly into Ryan's eyes.

Ryan flinched and followed Dominic into the store. "Did you see that?" Ryan asked when the door was closed and the Santa was out of earshot.


"He did this," Ryan demonstrated. "He threatened me."

"I'm surer you're just mistaken. He was probably going to wipe his nose and you mistook that or something."

Ryan turned to look at the Santa. He was staring menacingly at Ryan through the window.

MaryJane arrived and walked by the Santa. The Santa greeted MaryJane and she came into the store. "Sup, sluts," she said to them and went to get her daily 72 ounces of soda.

"Hey, MaryJane. How are you?" Dominic asked as she approached the counter.

"I'm great. The holiday season really puts me in a good mood," she said.

"Did that Santa act weird or anything when you went by?" Ryan asked.

"No, he smiled and said 'ho-ho-ho', I responded 'you got that right' and came in here. Why?"

"I think that Santa wants to kill me," Ryan said.

"I'll have to invite him to the monthly meeting," Dominic muttered.

"Kill you? Really? I'll be right back," MaryJane went back outside and went up to the Santa. They talked for a bit, even laughing at one point. The conversation ended with MaryJane flashing the Santa her breasts and the Santa boisterously cheering 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' MaryJane came back into the store. "He's not trying to kill you."

"How do you know?" Ryan asked.

"I asked him. 'Are you trying to kill my friend' and he said no. I then said 'I don't blame you if you wanted to' and we laughed. He then asked to see my boobs."

"And you just showed them to him?" Ryan asked.

"It's Christmas," MaryJane said.

Lauren came in to work at two in the afternoon. "It's your last day," Dominic said as she walked by the counter.

"Did that Santa say or do anything when you walked by?" Ryan asked.

"Yes, it is," she answered Dominic. "No, he didn't," she answered Ryan.

"I can't believe she's leaving," Dominic said.

"You knew this was coming. You know she was going to the college to become a teacher. That day's finally come," Ryan said.

"Yeah, but I didn't actually think it would, you know?" The Santa came into the store. Ryan tensed up. "I'm gonna go talk to her. I'll be right back."

"No, wait, don't leave..." Ryan pleaded but Dominic walked away.

"Harvey said I had free access to the drinks and snacks," the Santa said.

"Yeah, yeah. That's fine," Ryan was nervous. "What are you going to be doing for Christmas?" Ryan asked, trying to be friendly.

"I think I'll be spending Christmas Day slowly peeling the skin off your dead body with a vegetable peeler. Then, until New Years I'll be boiling your bones to make a stew," the Santa said.

"So you are trying to kill me?"

"If you have to ask, then you are already dead," the Santa growled. "Ho! Ho! Ho!" he exclaimed and went back outside the store.

"You can still apply for a job being a part of the support staff. We might not work together but we'd still be working together. You'd also get paid a bit more. You can even go back to college and become a teacher. I think you'd like it," Lauren said.

"I don't know if you know this because I hide it really well but I'm an idiot," Dominic laughed.

"No, you're not," Lauren said. "Think about it. If you decide to stay here, great, but keep in touch."

"You have to go home at some point," Dominic said. "The Santa went home three hours ago. I have to lock up. Let's go."

"I guess. I haven't seen him in hours so I guess he went home," Ryan nervously walked out of the store and Dominic locked the doors behind them. Dominic and Ryan drove home. Dominic dropped Ryan off at his apartment. "Hey, man, if I don't see you before, Merry Christmas."

"Thanks, Merry Christmas to you, too."

"Are you going to apply for a job at Lauren's school?"

"I don't think so but I'm still thinking about it. See you on the 26th."

Ryan headed toward his apartment. As he was fumbling for his keys someone stepped out from behind a bush. "Ho. Ho. Ho," the Santa growled.

Dominic arrived at the Tank N Tummy on December 26th. He went to unlock the door but found gum jammed in the locks. "Really? On Christmas?" he asked himself. He went around to the back and found gum in the back door locks too. He sighed and climbed up the ladder to the roof and opened the roof access and climbed down into the store. He unlocked the front door through the inside. He turned on the lights, started the coffee and tea, and unlocked the register. He threw the newspapers into a rack and got behind the counter before lowering his head and covering his face in his hands.