Sunday, November 30, 2008

168: Nanowrimo 2008 Comes To an End

As Nanowrimo comes to an end this year, I feel the need to clarify a few things about my novel.  I didn't get a whole novel written (Nanowrimo requires 50,000 to constitute a novel) I did get part one of my novel written which if I would've followed my original plan of splitting Wilbur and Kolak into four seperate novels, I would've gotten a novel finished.  I haven't started on part two yet but am about two chapters or so into it.  If I ever get them written I plan on posting them especially The Big Chapter.

I'm hoping next November I'm able to do more writing as I plan on being done with Wilbur and Kolak by the end of 2009 so maybe next year I can get my third and best novel written.

Peanuts 11/24/08-11/30/08

I've decided to bring this Peanuts thing to an end.  It had a decent run but I just can't compare these older strips to my life because these strips are all pretty Snoopy-centric.  I like Snoopy, I just like late eighties, nineties Snoopy.  Anyway, onto the final entry.

And so Snoopy attempts to listen for worms.  Snoopy has had quite a bit of identity crises over a span of 50 years.  Bird, vulture, WWI flying ace, just to name a few.  They all get pretty tiring and I find them annoying and not at all funny.  Moving on...

"Wait.  No.  It was just ash from the nitrogen plant just outside of town."

Fa la la la la, la la la laa.

Damn dog.

Born Loser for 11/30/08

While I hate to admit it, this is true. Comic strip creators seem stuck in the fifties and sixties and I don't know why none of them try to shake things up. Are they scared? Do they not know how to place themselves in modern times? Do they submit edgy comics but their editors say 'No!'? I want to believe that the creator figures that since the space allowed is so small and anymore, the comics page is so trivial that they just don't bother doing anything that will make headlines.

Or they are a bunch of golf-playing morons that really are stuck in the 1950s. I don't know...

However in Chip's defense, he seems to be trying in some cases and I do like Gladys' response to Brutus in the last panel. The chef's hat is a bit much though.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Homework On a Saturday

I wondered if that was something you could actually calculate on your own and truth be told I didn't think you could figure out your carbon footprint.  Well, once again the Internet has proved Brian wrong as there are a variety of websites that allow you to figure out your carbon footprint.  I calculated mine with this one.  I roughly emit 22.35 metric tons of CO2 per year.  I don't know if that's good or bad but I feel it's pretty low.

On a side note, it's snowing here right now.  After a 50 degree Thanksgiving, it's now snowing.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

Kevin must have a lot of Valentine's Day decorations.  Valentine's isn't really one of those holidays that you would have that many decorations to hang out on your house and/or lawn.  Maybe a window cling of cupid or even a small sign to stick in your yard.  There shouldn't be any lights or anything to hang.

167: Weird Dreams

I've been having some weird dreams lately.  Last night, and I'm blaming all the Thanksgiving food I had, I had the weirdest dreams where I was in the audience of Oprah.  Oprah was doing a question and answer segment on her show and everytime she went to someone else, she ended up hitting them.  Not lightly or by accident either.  One woman complained and Oprah just admitted it but blamed the woman she hit.  I don't know if Oprah really acts like this but I wouldn't be surprised if she did.  I don't know what happened to the dream because then I was climbing up onto this cement stage-type thing high up above the audience.  It was very dangerous because the thing had no railing and seemed to getting higher with every second.  Then someone threw open a door and knocked me over the edge and so there I was hanging onto the edge of the cement stage thing for dear life.  Finally I was just able to wake myself up and then drift back off to sleep.

After I fell back to sleep, the next dream was just weird.  My son and I worked in the same place (and he could drive) and this girl I used to work with on second shift was in it and some gas station that I always seem to dream about was there.  The gas station was huge but run by women who had tattoos all around their bodies and white tanktops and braided hair.  It was kind of scary.  Anyway, I'm not sure what that dream was about either but at least I wasn't clinging for my life as in the previous dream.

I also had another dream which I can't remember.  When I was sick this past summer, I kept having the same recurring dream.  I can't remember what it was now but it kept waking me up.  Then when I would finally get to back to sleep I would immediately go back into that dream waking me up again in about fifteen minutes.  It was a very long night.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Coach Gladys

No Thanksgiving reference at all in today's strip?  I'm a little disappointed Chip.  What we get is a stupid men-like-sports reference.  As an added bonus at least we do get spaced-out full frontal of Wilberforce so I guess it's not all bad.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone and I hope you all have a great day and weekend.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

166: Dreaming Dead Girl

She had her whole life ahead of her.  Full scholarship to college, almost done with high school, beloved throughout the whole town.  The bus she rode in elementary school now passes by the cemetery where she now rests.  I didn't know how she died but I was intrigued by the story of this young woman cut down in what was literally the prime of her life.  She had one of the newer headstones in the old cemetery, making her plot stand out.  I saw the bus turn off the highway and down the gravel around the cemetery.  I stared at it as it drove out of sight...

...Then I woke up.  I love dreams like this although I don't really like that they never get finished.  I don't know what brought on this dream but it lasted longer than most of my other dreams even though I didn't get a definite conclusion.  I vaguely remember a name on the headstone--all I recall is all three names started with 'B'.  The town I was in was reminescent of Baldwin City, a city I lived in for six years but I know it wasn't Baldwin.

I don't know what the dream meant or if it's supposed to tell me something but I like dreams like that because they fuel my writing and that's really what I need at the moment.

Thanksgiving At Arby's?

Can you picture another meat that could be used for Thanksgiving?  Maybe ham but that would just be spitting into the face of every Thanksgiving-celebrating Jew out there.

Is it me or is the way Gladys holding open the turkey drawn really funny?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

165: End Road

Click above link to access story

I am not happy about how End Road came out.  I do not like half the story because no matter what I wrote or rewrote, nothing seemed to quite work out.  The chose this story out of the six I came up with first because I felt it was going to be the easiest.  After spending the better part of a month trying to write something good, I ended up writing this.  It's okay, it does what I had intended it to do but I know I could've done it better.

The next stories I'm gonna try to get out--all in the month of December--are Landsman, where we learn that the world is flat and what people will go through to keep the conspiracy quiet; Abandoned, Texas, a young man returns to his hometown five years after a hurricane wiped it off the map to retrieve his sister's body; The Kings of Framingham, a high school reunion brings friends back together and all the high school drama that goes with it; Seven which is a story that I wish someone would explain to me--it's getting complicated; and I have an untitled 9/11 story planned but I don't know if I will publish that one.  I may, but it doesn't really focus on 9/11 that much.

Here's hoping December is a writing-filling month.  November kind of wasn't...

Contradictions Abound

Yesterday we saw Veeblefester complaining that the economy is so bad his Thanksgiving is going to be a shadow of it's former self but here we have him and Brutus at a really fancy restaurant (you can tell because of the candle) which Brutus shouldn't be spending money on because he more than likely has a mortgage and car payment to deal with plus the fact that we know he's not that great at his job and could be laid off.

Maybe Veeblefester's buying...

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Streetlight Wins Contest, Awarded Guest Spot In Today's Strip

Here we go!  We begin the tirade of rich people complaining that their billions has turned into millions.  Although since we've determined that Veeblefester is either a bank CEO or tobacco lobbyist then he probably is getting hit pretty hard by the financial crisis.

Also, in response to the last panel:  That's what she said!

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Introducing...A Football Tag

Is Chip experimenting with a different ink pen thickness in the second panel?  Over the last couple of weeks, I've noticed that Chip has been doing more with the illustrations.  While the jokes and characters are still rather lame, I'm glad Chip is shaking up the strip.

Yes, you actually can lose them all.  I've seen it happen.  What's the point in playing?  Losing because of a low score is a lot more nobler than losing because you didn't want to show up.  I don't have a football tag?  That seems odd.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Peeping Thornapples

Brutus still seems pretty upset about his neighbors trying to save money.  Those bastards, trying to keep their savings in the bank where it belongs.  I hope they burn in hell.

Brutus is apparently trying to snap his neck after hearing this bad joke.

Still not something to worry about.  Trust me, I know.

This posting sucks, I know.

The Last Random Article: Johnny Yan

Johnny Yan (traditional Chinese: 顏行書; pinyin: Yan Xing Shu, born September 8, 1976) is a Taiwanese actor and former member of music group 183 Club.

This is the last Random Wikipedia Article. Not really for any reason, just because there is really other stuff that I could be doing than clicking the "Random Article" link on Wikipedia.

Questions? Concerns? Outrages? Let me know.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

No Time to Post

That sounds...healthy.

I got home from work last night around 12:30 in the morning and had to get up about 6:00 to get me (and my son) ready for work (and school).  So that was not fun but it had to be done.  Tomorrow should be much easier since I'm going to bed lots earlier tonight.

Peanuts 11/12/08-11/16/08

I'm a decent bowler but I don't do it very often because I look like a doofus while doing it.  I have a weird bowling stance and I can never find a ball that actually fits with my hand.  I've wondered if I would get my own ball and shoes made for me, if I would go bowling more often but I decide that I wouldn't so I don't invest.  Maybe after I win the lottery.....

I don't think that's true Snoopy.  Maybe more highly evolved animal when they regress or even creatures that have no legs because they are jealous but I don't see polar bears wanting to punt something.

It's been my experience that people who are "ahead of their time" actually have real talents and abilities that are misunderstood or useless at that moment.  Lucy is just jealous because she has no real talents or abilities but knows that her brother, Linus, is ahead of his time even if he doesn't really know how to phrase some things.

Santa Claus has several catalogues.  Wal-Mart, Target, Toys R Us.  I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving more than I am Christmas.  I never wrote letters to Santa Claus.  I don't know why.  I stopped believing at age nine so I guess that's the age my childhood ended.

Linus is completely right.  He should get what's coming to him.  You never expect Linus to be greedy but you also have to remember that he is still a little kid.  A highly intelligent little kid who understands contractual law.

Monday, November 17, 2008

From Schools To Banks

Getting caught up on some Born Loser goodness today.  My new work schedule begins tomorrow so while I'll be home in the evening, I don't know when I'll be able to get stuff posted.  But I'm sure I'll figure something out.  Enjoy the last four days.

So...she doesn't play favorites.  Ms. Snitch is just an all-around bitch.

It's funny when Snoopy does it.  It's funny when Marmaduke does it.  It's even funny when Odie does it but when Kewpie does it, he gets that smug look of self-satisfaction on his face.  It's time to whack Kewpie on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

I've often wondered how people do these studies.  Who in the medical profession thinks "What if we play Bee Gee songs while doing CPR?".  I'm assuming it's the educated cousin of the person who discovered that Dark Side of the Moon synched up with "The Wizard of Oz".

Why does Brutus need the money?  Shore up Gladys' gambling debts?  From what the banker says, Brutus sounds like a good risk so it shouldn't be a problem.  Although I wouldn't trust a guy with his own office and desk but has no pictures (or anything else) on his desk.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

164: Wilbur and Kolak Part One, Chapter 7 Excerpt

            Kolak always hated meetings with Ultrik.  He knew about Ultrik’s hatred for him and tried to avoid him outside of a group setting.  Kolak had to go to this meeting alone because it was about the expedition to Earth.  Kolak and Ultrik sat at a small round table while Tarvos waited on them with a special dinner.  They had currently been talking about the Cat Rangers and the future pertaining to Juriorty, the Rangers and Lara.

            “Well,” Ultrik said as he finished what was on his plate, “let’s get down to the matter at hand,” Ultrik noticed that Kolak wasn’t finished with his dinner and waited to be prompted by Kolak to continue.

            “Yes, I had always wondered why we had never tried to communicate with Earth before,” Kolak said.

            “Humans are a peculiar breed.  They tend to fear and hate what they don’t understand.  They are our closest contemporaries and over the years we have weighed the options and just decided not to pursue any contact,” Ultrik explained.

            “But why now?”

            “Opportunity, my boy.  We’ve done studies on the planet and learned quite a bit.  Earth is seventy percent water, their rainforests are being wiped out, one-third of an entire continent is an arid desert.  With our terraforming capabilities, land can be created on water, rain forests can be reborn and the desert can become livable.  The so-called super powers of the United Kingdom, United States, Russia, Japan and China can take advantage of our military powers while smaller countries can protect themselves better,” Ultrik explained.

            “I’ve read some reports on Earth and from what I saw, most of the countries are possessive and very volatile.  Are you sure it’s wise to introduce this type of advanced technology to this species?  They’ve had many wars over things are considered pretty trivial,” Kolak warned.

            “Earth is the only other planet in this solar system that has any life on it.  With our ships, it’ll take three days to get there.  It currently takes six months to get to our closest ally and a year and a half to our next closest.  Earth will be good for the economy,” Ultrik said.  “Upon arrival you will blend in with the humans.  Gain their trust and learn about them.  We expect this mission to last about seven months then hope to open the lines of communication and possible trade routes,” Ultrik noted.

            Kolak ate the last of his dinner, quickly chewing and swallowing it, and spoke.  “I still don’t see why I have to go alone.  If two Rangers went we could possibly push the trading date a couple of months or so,” he said.

            “We’ve thought about sending two but this mission can only be handled by the best and while we were hesitant in sending our best to Earth, we know that Dahrkron is more than competent to take over for you while you are gone,” Ultrik said proudly.  “Now, will you join me for desert?”

            Kolak stood up from the table.  “No thanks, I’m gonna get home so I can spend some time with Lara before leaving in the morning.  Dinner was fantastic, sir.  Thank you,” Kolak saluted and left the banquet hall.  A smile came over Ultrik’s face as Tarvos approached to remove dishes. 

            “Yes, Cahmossieu, run off to spend time with Lara.  It could be the last time you see her,” Ultrik lightly chuckled.


            Porter, Mitchell and Dale trudged through the thick woods on the Kupfer property.  They could hear other animals nearby but being pitch black out, they couldn’t see them.

            “I think we’re lost,” Mitchell said after tripping on an exposed tree root.

            “We’re not lost,” Dale proclaimed.  “The gate should be nearby.”

            To trespass on the Kupfer property, one could not take the easy way up the small gravel lane to the front door.  One had to go around and follow what used to be a farm road and go through the woods, approaching the back gate.  The trees started spreading out and the grass became thicker and taller.  Dale pointed the flashlight ahead and lit up two stone pillars and an iron gate.  The iron gate was bent and ripped from its hinges.

            “Here it is,” Dale whispered.  Mitchell and Porter got closer to their older brother.  Dale shined the flashlight around the gate, up the stones and onto the gargoyles that sat atop the pillars.  “Those are so cool,” said Dale.

            The three brothers slowly and cautiously passed through the gate and prepared to approach the house.  Dale nonchalantly tried to push Mitchell in front but Mitchell stood his ground and forcibly shoved his older brother’s arm away.  “What are you doing?” Mitchell asked.

            “I thought you might want to be first.  I’m trying to be nice,” Dale explained.

            “This was your stupid idea Dale so you are going to go first,” Mitchell ordered and took one step back behind Dale.

            The Kupfer House was in shambles.  Nearly all the windows were broken and the doors hung loosely on their hinges.  The paint was peeling and chipped from the walls.  The grass was up to Dale’s waist but was a sun-scorched yellow.  The three boys peered into the house through one of the broken windows and saw that nearly all the furniture was ripped apart and nearly torn to shreds.  A loud shuffling noise erupted behind the boys causing them to scream and run away from the house.  They ran back down the old back road to their bikes they left at the entrance.  The three of them pedaled as fast as they could.

            Soon, they heard a noise.  A loud whooshing noise mixed with intermittent flapping.  The whooshing and flapping got closer until the sound of Porter’s bike falling to the street and a piercing scream flooded the night.  Dale and Mitchell slammed on their brakes to look behind them.  There, they saw their youngest brother being carried off by a man-like monster with bat-like wings.  The creature flew away until disappearing in the woods surrounding the Kupfer House.

Friday, November 14, 2008

163: The Prairie of Eden

Part One
Chapter One

The Kansas River makes up the northern boundary of Douglas County before curving southward then eastward toward Kansas City, seperating Grant Township from Wakarusa.
Miles and miles of gently rolling hills caressed the landscape bounding up and down creating a lovely view to an area widely considered flat.  Trees abound in much of the county surrounding creeks, rivers and lakes.  The more impressive hills were given names all their own, Blue Mound, Mount Oread, Twin Mound and Liberty Hill.  Douglas County is cut in half by the Wakarusa River and it always seemed that the are north of the Wakarusa was more inviting while the south was darker and less friendly.
Everywhere in the county, little streams and creeks flowed into the Kansas or Wakarusa Rivers and usually were barren rock beds but sometimes the rains would be enough to push the water through.  Sometimes the rains were too much.  Massive floods in 1935 and 1951 inundated the Kansas and Wakarusa causing then to overflow their banks and destroy land, crops, buildings and sometimes lives.  The need for flood control was so great that a levee system was created for the Kansas River and Clinton Lake was constructed for the Wakarusa.
The season change rapidly and while they always arrive like clockwork, they are unpredictable.  Winter, officially arrives in early December and it can get bitterly cold and while it may not snow every year, the weather makes us yearn for the warmer season.  Spring can start in February or it may arrive in April.  Unlike Autumn, Spring seems more bright and welcoming and is admittedly my favorite season.  Summer gets brutally hot and is just a time for laziness in my book.  Autumn tends to bring out the best in people as the leaves change color and fall softly to the ground.  The Fall is home to outdoor gatherings and get-togethers with loved ones  but everything would come full cirlce as winter approaches yet again.

I will forgo telling the history of over six thousand years of Indian occupancy, leaving that to the professors, students and ancestors more aptly qualified to treat that noble period with respect.  Kansas, especially Douglas County, was founded and settled on spilled blood.  Between 1854, when the Kansas Territory was opened for settlement, and 1861, when Kansas became a state on January 29th, Kansas was better known as "Bleeding Kansas" a name it rightfully deserved.  The Civil War may have begun in 1861 at Fort Sumter, South Carolina but the seeds were planted in Kansas.
Big Springs, the oldest settlement in Douglas County, was established by William Harper and John Chamberlain in May 1854.  Kansas had a choice:  to be either a free state or a slave state.  Barely a year after it's founding, Big Springs had an "official" free-state convention and men from all sections of Kansas vowed to give their lives to defend their home from border ruffians in Missouri, a slave state.  Despite being a promising community, Big Springs now stands almost silently on Highway 40 just a mile east of the Shawnee County line.
It is said that in Kansas, you couldn't walk five miles in any direction before running into a town.  The big towns had smaller satellite communities.  Only a few of the communities still exist but their stories live on through generation after generation who has homesteaded in Douglas County.  After Big Springs came other towns like Lawrence, Lecompton and smaller towns like Clinton and Vinland.  Although some names were in honor of people or a city in another state, most are very original:  Hole In the Rock, Yankee Town, Kanwaka and Coon Point.  Every place and every name has a story and maybe someday all their stories will be told but this story focuses on the rolling hills of northwest Douglas County and the prairie land in the southeast.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mashrafe Mortaza

Mashrafe Bin Mortaza (Bengaliমাশরািফ িবন মুর্তজা ) (born October 5, 1983 in Narail DistrictJessore) is a Bangladeshi cricketer and the vice-captain of Bangladesh Cricket Team.

Yay, Inadequacy

Hagar has been gone for several months, raping and pillaging all the villages in a 100-mile radius.  He's been eating over a campfire amidst other smelly, vomit-laden vikings.  He's been sleeping outdoors in all sorts of weather and all Hagar wants is a nice, warm home-cooked meal.  Helga knows this but she wants to go out.  Fictional wives just suck, plain and simple.

So Lynn's father isn't a complete douchebag?  I guess that's cool and all but then what's Lynn's problem?  Dead mother?  Molestation?  Maybe all she really needs is that ugly scarf.

Does Brutus pay out of pocket for his therapy sessions or is the Veeblefester Company paying for at least 50% of it.  I would think Brutus has good insurance but I don't know.

You would also think that the therapist's couch would look a bit more comfortable.

162: City of the Dead

Jack and Sonya drove down the desolate highway. The huge Toyota rumbled down the broken pavement. It was the only vehicle on the road for probably two hundred miles. Jack was sure where he was going, he just knew he was heading west. Sonya was napping with her seat back. Jack watched her breasts rise up and down. Jack could take care of himself but Sonya needed protection. All women did.

I wrote this story (there's more to it but it was one of the ones involved in The Burning) back in 1999 and it's not very well named because I called it "City of the Dead" even though it mainly takes place on a highway in a desert. In the story, the reader never learns what happened but women are dying off by the hundreds and most cannot handle the act of sex to keep reproducing so essentially the human race is slowly dying off.

I had planned for "City of the Dead" to be a three-part story but after I finished the first part I was really disappointed with the outcome so my six-part "The Final Day" story became the only end-of-the-world story I've written. I'm hoping to write another but I'm thinking of rewriting "The Final Day" because that was a really good story although it took place in a universe I created and used between 1992 and 2000 and that universe has been dismantled. We'll see.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Omelets Sound Good

Oh, so that's a laser. I'm gonna start using that panel whenever I can. Something about it is just hysterical.

"And explaining she could take no more, Zoe MacPherson left baby Wren in the car, released the parking brake and let the car roll into the lake."


So Gladys keeps forgetting to add cheese and meat? I don't get it.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Strip Contains Adult Matter

Our greatest fear has come to fruition.  There are now two--count them two Cathys.  May God have mercy on our souls.

And of course it's during the oncoming apocalypse that you realize that you've wasted your life working in a crappy local pizza store or blogging about comic strips.

Ok, Gasoline Alley it's time to leave the "cute" wordplay to the kids over at The Family Circus.

Why are we still talking about Halloween?  This strip looks like it should've been printed either October 29th or October 30th.

Is the reason Cleaver is "the whitest name" you've ever heard because of it's association with the Cleavers from TV's "Leave It to Beaver"?  What about former Kansas City, Missouri mayor and current Missouri Representative Emanual Cleaver?

Black Dilton Doiley needs to do his research.

This is as close to nudity as I ever want to come in a Born Loser strip.  Curse you, Chip.  CURSE YOU!!

Adventures of Superman #614-616

Every so often, a Superman story comes around that makes you believe without the shadow of a doubt that Superman is the greatest hero of all time.  The three-part "Heroville" saga is not one of those stories.

The federal government, run by Lex Luthor, discovers a town that was part of a experiment back in the 1950s.  All the citizens in town are superheroes.  Genetically manufactured superheroes.  Meanwhile, someone in the real world is paralyzing and sucking the color out of all the superheroes. 
 You know, classic heroes such as Major Victory, Elongated Man and The Ray.

Superman travels to Heroville to find the research team Luthor sent and finds Dr. Camel, who is the local physician and was once the lead geneticist on the project.  Camel hid the town and destroyed all the files during the Communist witch hunts of the 1950s so the town would not be considered unAmerican.  Superman realizes the town needs to exist so leaves it alone but unfortunately The Hollow Men arrive to suck the hope and color from the town.  Now, The Hollow Men are the fictional creation of an author named Benjamin
 Conrad who wrote a book about government created men who were created to maintain the black-and-white pastiche of Eisenhower's administration.  The novel did not sell very well.

Soon the heroes of Heroville are taken out by the Hollow Men and so Superman sends, and I am not making this up, Kid Scout back into the real world to get Benjamin Conrad to stop his story from attacking.  Conrad decides to write a new ending to his novel as the Hollow Men finally attack Superman and drain him of hope and color.  What is not really explained is how the Hollow Men are 
defeated.  Superman, somehow, is able to resist the Men's attacks but that happens at roughly the same time Conrad finishes his novel so the actual person who stopped the Hollow Men is unclear.  But, like just about every other Superman story, this is all wrapped up nicely--albeit, very confusingly.

There was this section of 2003 that had weird and unimportant stories like this in every title.  That all started to change with the Godfall storyline but then my subscription ran out and I decided not to renew it because I believed my time of reading Superman comics was over.  I had a good run (1992-2000, 2002-2003) and I don't regret my decision.  Plus, there were a lot of horrible stories told and that also turned me off.

Golden Comics Digest #19

I can't remember when or how I acquired these Golden digests.  I'm thinking at a library sale but I don't know.  I have several of them, mainly featuring Marge's Little Lulu but I also have ones that feature Bugs Bunny and Disney characters.  I find the Little Lulu ones to be the best because some of the stories are just wrong.  For some reason there's a lot of images of Tubby and Iggy walking around nude and lots of chauvinism from Tubby despite knowing that Lulu is the only girl who will ever pay him any attention.All the stories are very innocent though even though Lulu likes to tell stories about witches cooking and eating little children.  The first story in this digest shows Lulu and Tubby going to the carnival and Lulu only has enough money for three tickets while Tubby has a
 whole bunch.  Lulu wants to ride the tunnel of love three times.  Tubby soon has his tickets eaten by a nearby camel and then
starts freaking out, running around bawling and annoying the adults (which is very easy in these Little Lulu tales).  Tubby goes through death-defying feats while trying to escape the carnival and ironically ends up with Lulu at the Tunnel of Love.  The next stories is pretty self-explanatory as Lulu and Annie put on their blackface to insult an entire race at a party Wilbur is throwing.  One of my favorite stories in the book is where Tubby doesn't want to practice the violin and fakes getting a rash by painting red spots on his face.  His mother doesn't believe him of course so Tubby paints more spots on him but accidentally paints spots on his hat which makes his mother mad who sends him to the bath.  Which Tubby hates more.

The most disturbing story is one where Lulu comes home from yet another racially charged afternoon and her mother orders her to take a bath--while she goes out!!  Yes, leave your little girl alone in the house while she's taking a bath.  Great idea.  Anyway, while Lulu is naked and alone in the bath the phone rings and soon Lulu is on an expedition to find her mother.  All while wrapped in a towel.  Soon a little dog runs away with Lulu's towel so she covers herself with a scarecrow's rags, making herself dirty again.  When 
she finds her mother, her mother is shocked to see her daughter like that but Lulu thinks her mother didn't recognize her so what does she do?  Get herself put in the dog pound of course.