Saturday, April 20, 2024

That's What She Said

As you may have seen, Post News, the social media site specifically created to cater to longreads and journalists is shutting down. As with every other social media site that emerged when Elon Musk took over Twitter and then renamed it to a porn site, I joined and had hoped it could become a new home for these Born Loser posts and maybe more. I was on Post for about six months before abandoning it mainly because I wasn't getting any traction or followers. It was a grand idea and I wish more journalists and writers would've tried it out. It could've been a good place to get your news that's not controlled by algorithms.

In other social media news, about a month ago, I deleted my Hive Social account because it doesn't seem to be getting updated anymore, the founder has locked their account, and it seemed as if I was the only one on my timeline still updating their account. You can check out all my socials on the About page.

September 15, 1965
How much buried treasure is there in this country? You hear stories, sure, but how much buried treasure actually exists in the United States? Is it enough for this guy to buy a new hat? I hope so and I hope he finds the treasure.

Oh! Now Wilberforce is coming for his own father! Again, get wrecked, old dork! Wait. Brutus is roughly my age. Oh, no!!

Here's the real strip. Why can't Brutus just have a damn day off? Let him relax, jeez.

Friday, April 19, 2024

Young Vs. Old

Felix the Cat, June 4, 1933
Most of the early Felix comic strips deal with Felix wanting to be adopted. Everyone is always so mean to him. I'd adopt him.

It was from old comic strips that I learned where the phrase ix-nay came from. "Nix" is a mostly obsolete way of saying "No". Most likely due to The Three Stooges shorts, "ixnay" and "amscray" (scram) entered into the American lexicon, becoming the only Pig Latin words to become mainstream.

Those kids are worried about a goat but are perfectly fine with a cat the size of a small child being able to talk and ride a bike?

Speaking of Felix the Cat: The Felix the Cat Nintendo game is available on the Nintendo Switch now! Help Felix save Miss Kitty from the Professor. This port retains it's playability, it's cuteness and originality, and great music. If you've never played it, I highly recommend it.

September 14, 1965
Is this something kids did back then? Draw circles on the ground and goad other kids into fights? I guess the more things change, the more they stay the same.

I don't like either of these kids. I kind of want them to beat each other to bloody pulps.

Instead of drawing a small circle around himself and challenging Hurricane Hattie to a fight, Wilberforce is gutting Uncle Ted like a fish. "How does it feel to be old, Uncle Ted? You are probably closer to death than I am to my birth and I'm 9. Is the Grim Reaper a constant sight in your peripheral vision? Get wrecked, old dork!"

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Nationally Syndicated Comic Strips Would Still Be Required to Work 7 Days a Week

September 11, 1965
Elmo Zorp is clearly the greatest football(?) player of all time because he was able to run 99 yards in one second. If I were the coach, my tactic would be give the ball to Zorp and just keep everybody away from him.

All hail Zorp!

I am all for four-day work weeks. I am also all for universal income. And universal healthcare. I'm basically all for things and services that improve people's lives. That sack of money should be given to the employees, not sitting on Veeblefester's desk like a paper weight.

Wednesday, April 17, 2024

I'll Take Things That Never Happened for $500

from FindAGrave
Victor Blakely was born in Topeka, Kansas on September 15, 1897. He was killed October 15, 1918 leading his troops in the Meuse-Argonne Offensive during World War I.

Back in Topeka, he was originally supposed to be honored, along with pilot Louis Phillip Billard, with a street named after him. You can read about that street here.

Pictured is Lt. Blakely's gravestone in the American Cemetery in Lorraine, France.

September 10, 1965
Ooh. We should all do this for 9/11 this year. Really show our patriotism.

Is that someone's bird? Someone's trained bird? Or did a random bird just land on the flag? If it's just a random bird then this would be an amazing picture. Be even better if it were an eagle though.

I find it hard to believe Veeblefester gave you 25 "attaboys". Even when he gives you an "attaboy", it's caked in sarcasm and followed by an insult.

Sunday, April 07, 2024

Tis the Season

October 29, 1989
Where did Wilberforce get that Cookie Crisp Wizard (Cookie Jarvis) outfit? Cookie Crook and Officer Crumb had been the mascot for the cereal for five years at this point.

I hope Wilberforce and Hurricane Hattie are robbing Brutus and beating the crap out of him.

Finally, it's Weasels Baseball season. It's my third favorite season after Snowman Brutus Winter and Golf.

Shitter. Coach called you the Designated Shitter.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

And be sure to follow me wherever you use your social media.

Tuesday, April 02, 2024

I'll Watch What the Dog Is Watching

September 9, 1965
What's Fiffner's story here? Is he adopted? Is his mother Asian? Fiffner looks Asian and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Sorry, Gladys, Kewpie makes the rules.

"The Singing Show"? Which one? And are we sure we're not confused with the "The Dancing Show"?

Sunday, March 31, 2024

In the Red

October 22, 1989
I'm not saying writing and drawing a daily comic strip (nearly) every day for 59 years is easy, but this gag was used four years ago. I do appreciate this strip more because of the different angles used, the shot of the house, and whatever is going on in the fourth panel.

Maybe this is payback for when Mother Gargle did this. Brutus was just waiting--biding his time--until she forgot about Brutus' birthday four years ago.

This is serious, Gladys. We could be homeless within six months. We've already had to sell Wilberforce which is why he was out eating with us the other day. And I just don't think we'd get much money for either of us if it came down to that.

It's nice that on this Easter holiday, we are reminded how tenuous our lifestyles really are. How many of us are one paycheck or one bill away from being cast out onto the street? Capitalism has turned us into a country of born losers.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Saturday, March 30, 2024

Just the Fax, Brutus

September 8, 1965
Finally, some action at this golf course. Did you specifically bring those cymbals or do you always carry those around with you? This guy was going to receive both the Club Championship Trophy and the Senior Club Championship Trophy (He won both!) but now he will just be embarrassed in front of a large and distinguished group.

Uncle Ted, you are not that old. Also, this joke doesn't make sense because the fax machine was invented in 1843. Faxes became more prevalent in the 1920s and 1930s and the first commercial fax machine (basically what we use now) was made in 1964.

If Uncle Ted ever had to transfer files, the documents were probably on carbon paper or photocopied, which was invented in 1938. I've had to fax exactly one thing in my life and I did not like it. Just take this email I sent you with a scan I made from my phone, thank you very much.

Friday, March 29, 2024


September 7, 1965
You can look all you want, dude, but Wilma here is never going to leave Fred.

What's up with that tree? Is it a portal to another dimension? Are there schlubs like this guy there? Maybe Gloria should check it out.

"I was born dressed like Mr. Peanut and I will die dressed like Mr. Peanut!"

Corporations believe that their employees would rather be able to wear jeans to work than get paid what they're worth. "Here's your Friday Pizza and Jeans Day! Try not to think about how much you get paid compared to those above you who do less!"

Thursday, March 28, 2024

Wilberforce F. Thornapple

September 4, 1965
Did...Did Brutus ring the doorbell? Why? It's his house.

Why are you getting upset, Brutus? You can't do math either.

Wilberforce is going to be sent to bed without his dinner again. And he just got invited back.

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

I've Always Been Wary of Echo Point

After catching the Black Fox, Doctor Doom shows up wanting the old man for some reason. Spider-Man then tries to protect the Black Fox but it doesn't go well.

Also, Peter is reunited with Uncle Ben.

Check out my post on Amazing Spider-Man #350.

September 3, 1965
I absolutely hope that he is showing his boss his film, slides, whatever, and now his boss is making out with his wife in the dark. I doubt that's what's going on--it looks like a daughter or something which honestly is just as bad, maybe worse.

Special guest commentary by ChatGPT: In today's "Born Loser" comic strip, we find Brutus venturing into the technologically enhanced wilderness of Echo Point. But wait, what's this? A sign proudly proclaiming, "Now enhanced with AI." Well, isn't that just what we all need? Even our scenic overlooks are now getting algorithmically upgraded. Because nothing says "nature appreciation" quite like knowing there's a computer somewhere crunching data to enhance your view of a tree. Congratulations, Echo Point, you've officially been digitized. Now, if only they could enhance Brutus with a bit of common sense, we might actually have something worth celebrating.

ChatGPT really hates Brutus apparently. If ChatGPT knew that Echo Point didn't have a guardrail, it'd probably tell Brutus to continue walking. Anyway, now AI is stealing our voices when we yell into the abyss so I think we've entered the eighth circle of Hell.

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Brutus Is Just Trying to Get Medicinal Marijuana

September 2, 1965
Tom Landry, watch out!!

These days we know the blind side as a 2009 movie starring Sandra Bullock as someone who would be a terrible person, but the actual blind side is where a right-handed quarterback can't see if anything is coming over his left shoulder. I would assume a left-handed quarterback would have the same blind side just on his right side. I'm guessing this is funny because Not Tom Landy was hit by the door in his blind side.

So Brutus is going to see a divorce lawyer? Or...a hitman? I'd go the hitman route first.

Monday, March 25, 2024

Why Don't You Both Hush Up?

September 1, 1965
It's going to be fun seeing how many jobs this proto-Brutus has. Will it be more or less than Homer Simpson?

Sunday, March 24, 2024

I Hear Kum & Go Will Be Available Soon

October 1, 1989
Brutus didn't have to say anything. Gladys was clearly asleep, just get up and brush your teeth. Or wait until morning. One thing I try not to do when having to get up in the middle of the night is wake the other people in the house up.

Cool. This place just went down a notch from "diner food" to "gas station food". We have a gas station that serves some food. Apparently they have really good biscuits and gravy. So people are just going to leave their cars at the pumps while they eat? That seems inconvenient.

As for a catchy slogan, I think people will notice the changes based on the newly installed gas pumps.

Support me and this website on Ko-fi. If not, I--

Saturday, March 23, 2024

Tasty, Terrific Pizza

August 31, 1965
Bemus Point is a village in New York. I'm guessing Art spent some vacations there or something. Maybe he had a second family. This family looks terrible. I hope this isn't what the Mobley family looks like because I absolutely hate them. Especially the screaming/crying one in the foreground.

I love the sexist ass question "How do you make yourself pretty...?" Your husband should love you no matter what you look like. Besides, you're the one at home raising his five damn kids while he's basically having a party at work. She should take that vacation to Bemus Point by herself.

Just let Uncle Ted eat, Brutus! How about we don't turn every little thing into a "you shouldn't eat that" argument? Just let people eat!

Thanks for holding the pizza that way, Uncle Ted. People need to know you are holding a pizza, even if it does mean your toppings are going to slide to one side.

Friday, March 22, 2024

Friday Quickies

August 30, 1965
This happens a lot...

At least somebody is going to show up and help this guy, because I'm pretty sure the guy in the above link died.

I don't know about you but I absolutely would not wear a shirt that read "XXL".

Thursday, March 21, 2024

Better, Better, Better

August 27, 1965
Those guns seem awfully close to him. I guess they want to make sure this guy dies despite the firing squad being the most reliable, quickest and possibly least painful way to be executed.

He should really be restrained.

How is Brutus so bad at his job? He's in sales. You make phone calls and send papers over to the accounting department--at least that's how it's shown in The Office. I have never and absolutely will never work in sales so all I learn about it is from pop culture.

Wednesday, March 20, 2024

Apple Dapple

Take a look at the clothes and comics from Gladys Parker. She would work on Gay and Her Gals, Flapper Fanny, and create her own long-running strip, Mopsy. You can check out this post from 2022 here.

August 25, 1965
Well, now everyone is looking at him because he's drawing attention to himself. Stop that. If you don't want to be perceived, don't do anything that draws eyes toward you like talking at a normal volume or loudly playing a game on your phone, you dumb middle schoolers!

I love gala apples. Which is very shocking for me to say since I am not a fan of apples.

I am also not a fan of how some of the apples change color between panels. The abused intern who colored today's strip was clearly dozing off on this one.

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Mr. Yellow Shirt

Breaking Cat News, March 18, 2024
Look, I hate-read legacy comics like Dennis the Menace, Hi and Lois, and, obviously, The Born Loser all the time, but this is a good take on what is happening to the ever-shrinking comics page because of the ever-shrinking number of newspapers. You can read the article sourced here, and be sure to check out some women-created comics that are listed in it.

August 24, 1965
Jesus Christ, dude. That's not the face of someone determined to ask for a raise but of someone who's going to open fire in the mailroom or from a window on the top floor.

I know those black things on the desk are telephones but they look like cats--like little black maneki-neko cats.

Gladys spends all day at home. How much more does she have to clean?

Yeah, like she's not going to look in the closets.

Monday, March 18, 2024

"Prepare for Disappointment" Don't Book a Cruise

August 23, 1965
Proto-Brutus had the opportunity to pay after the cruise but instead opted to pay cash upfront like an idiot. I mean, I think you typically get a refund if the cruise ship freaking sinks but that's just according to some quick internet searching.

Are Proto-Brutus and Proto-Gladys survivors of the Andrea Doria?

I've gotten a fortune cookie like that once. I ignored it. The next one I got said something about friends and I ignored that one too because I don't have friends.

Wilberforce doesn't get Chinese food?