Wednesday, September 30, 2015

1285: Why Does Acme Need Tea Cozies?

I don't even know how to comment on this strip because the last two panels confuse me and make my head hurt. But do you even want the Acme account? They seem like a terrible company what with their products backfiring and blowing up their customers.

Monday, September 28, 2015

1284: Why Do You Still Have That?

I don't know what "dry aged" means. I could look it up but I don't care enough to do that. But clearly I do care enough to paste today's comic strip in this post and then write three inane sentences about it.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

1283: I Never Bring People the Whole Bottle

Built in the 1830s or 1840s or 1870s or 1880s or 1900s, the Mudhouse Mansion stood abandoned in a field outside of Lancaster, Ohio for around 80 years. Over the years, the house developed stories of the paranormal--like many abandoned houses. Property owner Jeannie Mast tried her hardest to keep trespassers off of her family's property but on September 21st, a weight was lifted from Mast's shoulders.

Crews began salvaging what they could from the house and on September 21st, it was razed to its foundation. A piece of Ohio history, gone forever.

The Mudhouse Mansion, photo courtesy Bill Baker.
The Mudhouse Mansion, in the process of being demolished. Photo by Spencer Remoquillo, Lancaster Eagle-Gazette.

Ha! Brutus must be watching the Kansas City Royals game from the other night. I didn't watch it because sports are boring to me but people on Twitter were literally committing suicide over that thing and I was just like, calm your tits, it's just a baseball game.

Monday, September 21, 2015

1281: Jack Larson, 1928-2015

Jack Larson, who portrayed Jimmy Olsen in the 1950s "The Adventures of Superman" with George Reeves, has passed away. Larson is my personal favorite Olsen and it just seems like no other portrayal does Jimmy justice.

I would say that this will begin a new chapter in this long-running comic strip but Brutus has been fired before and the next day he's back at work with Veeblefester's arm awkwardly around his shoulder.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

1280: This Is the Third Strict Budget This Month

Is it me or do the Thornapples go on a strict budget every week? At least it seems clear that Brutus is also bad with money and it's not just Gladys spending them to the poor house.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

Friday, September 18, 2015

Liberty #54: Skin

by T.A. Wickersham; contains graphic scenes of sex and pornography

The scene ended just like most every other one they made—with Derrick ejaculating on some body part of the woman. The woman was on loan from another studio for this one video and had requested that Derrick cum on her back tattoo.

“And, cut,” Hal Dunavant, who was directing this movie, said. “That’s a wrap. We’re done for the day so you both can get cleaned up and have a good rest of your day.”

As Derrick and the other woman left the bare concrete room, Hal’s business partner and longtime friend Rich Findlay came in. “We need to do something different,” he said. “Revenue is down as are web clicks. People are also emailing and commenting that our videos aren’t as good anymore and are getting boring and repetitive. When people start finding problems with your pornography, you need to change something.”

“I agree. I almost fell asleep filming this thing,” Hal said. “And Derrick seemed drowsy as well. Had he been fucking Angela again, he may have fell asleep as well.”

“What do we do? We already pay money to borrow stars from other studios and offer photographs of models when we can.”

“I don’t know,” Hal said. “Maybe we can ask Reddington to float us some money so we can hire a couple more actors,” he suggested.

“And throw more money down a rat hole?” a man said as he walked in. He was a tall, boisterous and flamboyant man. “I don’t think I’ll be doing that,” he chuckled derisively.

“Aristotle,” Rich exclaimed. “So glad you’re here. I’m sure you’ve seen the numbers…”

“Of course. Why would I come down here if there wasn’t something wrong with my investments?”

“Well, we were just talking about it. We were thinking of hiring a couple new models or offering free membership or…”

“No! No more money. Find a solution to this problem using money you already receive and do it within a month or I’m pulling all funding and your website goes away,” Aristotle said then turned to leave.

Rich sighed. “Tell Derrick and Angela so they can be thinking of ideas. Try to think of at least three and maybe one of them will work.”

1278: Brutus Never Has Good Ideas Anyway

We've been producing tea cozies for over 70 years and we're not going to change the way we do it now.

That's mean that Veeblefester just straight up told Brutus that his idea is terrible. Usually bosses save that for when the employee is out of the room.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

1277: Brutus Suffers In Silence

If you haven't Liked the The Born Loser Facebook Page, I highly recommend that you do. It's actually run by Chip and his wife and they not only post today's strip but also old pictures of Art Sansom at the drawing board or sketches and even tidbits of behind the scenes. Did you know that Tuesday's strip featured Norm and that Norm is based on a real person that Chip attended college with? Well, I know it now. Sometimes I forget that, while I'm mocking this comic strip, it is done by a real human beings with friends, family and feelings.

How many people does Gladys know? Considering we rarely see her outside of the house I wouldn't think very many.

I do think Brutus suffers from andropause and doesn't know how to handle it or who to talk to about it.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

1276: You're a Dim Boy, Wilberforce

I never understood people who liked to write on themselves. I wasn't one to do that, not wanting to spend the next three days with gradually fading ink on my hands and arms. I did allow this girl to write and draw on my hand during my freshman year of high school. But I wasn't thinking clearly.

Why would you write "Wow" on your arm for a tattoo unless it's going to be a sentence reading "Wow. I'm a complete moron."

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

1275: Is Norm a Real Person Or a Joke On the Cheers Character

Welcome to the strip Brutus' hipster friend, Norm. I look forward to learning more about you like do you brew your own craft beer or were you a student at Kenyon or are you a professor there? 

Oh wait, we won't learn any of that. Norm will just be reduced to a character Brutus can complain about his life to like guy in diner wearing hat and Arnie.

Monday, September 14, 2015

1274: The World Is Telling You To Shut Up

Is there a reason Brutus has designated today the first day of the rest of his life or is this something Brutus does arbitrarily ever few months?

You'd think he'd quit doing that what with being a born loser and all.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

1273: Planet Wilberforce Still Won't Be As Cool As Pluto

I've thought about looking into a solar panel system for my house because I am tired of paying the exorbitant rates for electricity from our ONE power company or to have them, year after year, say they need to raise rates because of Obama. What are people going to do starting in 2017 when they can no longer blame Obama for their problems?

Why did Brutus use "solar system"? Why not just "solar panels"? When I saw the thumbnail of this strip on Facebook, it just showed those middle panels and I was confused to so I understand Wilberforce's confusion.

Saturday, September 12, 2015

1272: Anything Should Be Better Than Brutus' Future

There's nothing better than a good episode of "I Love Lucy" but I realized something when I was watching the reruns on the Hallmark Channel a few years ago.

First, the communication between Lucy and Ricky is terrible. Many of their hijinks could be solved by just talking to each other or telling the truth. Second, it seems so loud. Is Lucy's voice always so shrill?

Eh, I'm more of a Fred and Ethel fan anyway.

Friday, September 11, 2015

1271: What About All the Free Lunches You Take From Boys Weaker Than You?

Even if kids hate school, they can usually figure out at least one thing that they can tolerate--lunch, recess, gym, that one teacher who is not a complete Hitler when it comes to assignments.

For me, it was either between English class when we were reading or social studies because learning about other places and history was always fun.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

1270: You'll Take What You Get and Love It

Welcome to the first Watch This Space published from Topeka, Kansas. I'm not thinking that anything will change but I hope to focus more on my writing as I have several things I started while I was on break due to the move. I also want to continue writing my novel and get that finished before my next birthday. Over the next few weeks will be new issues of Incredible Comics, Randy, #ElevenSeasons and, hopefully, a new series that I'm keeping to myself just in case it doesn't pan out this month. As far as the near future is concerned, the only difference in Tauy Creek is the city where it is produced. Now, onto Born Loser commentary!!

When I'm at a diner, I don't expect the burger to be cooked to my expectations. I expect it to be cooked and covered with grease. Why did she even ask?

So basically, Brutus wants his burger medium well? Just say that. Stop with the "just a little pink" crap.