No.

August 2, 1965

Hey, I think I saw this guy in a Looney Tunes cartoon. I don't think I've ever been to the dentist or heard someone go to the dentist and there not be at least little pain. Poking, scraping, and tapping your teeth hurts so get over it buddy-boy.

Ah, the extremes of the human body.

Nope, not today. Absolutely not.

February 29, 2008

Bringing back this awful shirt. Wilberforce doesn't know what a damn leap day is but has a basic understanding of the Chinese calendar?

ChatBPT

I got the first issue of New Beginning years ago in one of those $1 for 10 comic books grab-bags. I don't know why I kept it for all these years. Probably because it's such an anomaly of 1980s independent comic books.

After publishing the first issue in 2010, I began trying to find the remaining issues. I knew there were at least two more and I finally obtained them through eBay in 2016, but during my journey, I discovered there was a fourth and final issue.

I got the final issue in 2020 at the height of lockdown and, wouldn't you know it, it ends on a cliffhanger. I'm open to promoting this long-forgotten comic book published by comic book store people if they have any interest in continuing it or revealing how the story ends.

You can read all three parts if you wish. Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

July 26, 1965

Remember when you need a massive machine with all these buttons, dials, and lights to spend five minutes figuring out 2 + 2?

I zoomed in that man just to verify that he was using an abacus. Sadly, it's a bucktoothed Chinese man with overly slanted eyes and a queue and looking quite dastardly so that's a shame.

AI is awful. I, for one, am glad that it is quickly showing it's awfulness. Quit stealing things other people have created.

For fun, I asked ChatGPT to offer some snarky commentary on today's strip: Gladys, always the bearer of doom and gloom, is at it again, warning about the perils of artificial intelligence. But Brutus, ever the nostalgist, can't help but reminisce about simpler times when the biggest worry was whether artificial sweeteners would rot your insides. Oh, how times have changed! Who knew that worrying about our appliances taking over the world would replace fretting over saccharin? Maybe he's onto something – at least with artificial sweeteners, you only risked a cavity, not a robot uprising! It's clearly trying too hard but the "robot uprising" comment is actually pretty good and now I'm sad.

At least Chip's job is safe. ChatGPT wrote a Born Loser and, for some reason, added a couple references to Garfield. The Thornapples don't even have a cat.

Panel 1:

[Scene: Brutus, the main character, is standing in front of a mirror, trying to squeeze into a too-tight shirt. His face is contorted in discomfort.]

Brutus (thinking): "Maybe I should've skipped that second helping of lasagna..."

Panel 2:

[Brutus manages to get the shirt on, but it's so tight that buttons are popping off. He looks ridiculous.]

Brutus: "Why do I even bother with shirts that have buttons?"

Panel 3:

[Brutus, defeated, stands in front of his mirror, shirt now completely unbuttoned and hanging off him like a tattered flag. His expression is resigned.]

Brutus: "Ah well, who needs dignity anyway?"

[His cat, lurking in the background, gives a deadpan look, as if to say, "Speak for yourself."]

Good Mood Tuesday

July 24, 1965

Is he unplugging the TV because of a commercial? I mean, I know there are only three channels in 1965, but just change the channel. It probably wouldn't help anyway, I guess. The TV has become sentient. This happens from time to time.

Brutus usually has a reason ready to go about why he deserves a raise. Doesn't mean he'll get one today because Veeblefester said he will just listen to his request for a raise.

Moon-Day Quickies

July 23, 1965

So we did land on the Moon earlier than 1969, they were just horribly murdered by these giant Moon aliens and the United States government covered it up. I figured it was something like that.

What happened to these Moon aliens? We didn't slaughter them all, did we? Oh, god, we slaughtered them all.

Who are Brutus and Gladys visiting? They don't have friends.

Left and Right

March 26, 1989

I guess Brutus can take comfort in knowing that his umbrella didn't really work. It's not showing, but it seems like a lot rain is hitting Veeblefester.

Today's Veeblefester lives in a mansion just outside of town (or maybe in a gated community on the edge of town), but I do like the thought of Veeblefester living in a giant penthouse suite at the top of a very tall building.

That basketball is bigger than Wilberforce's head. Heck, that basketball is almost bigger than Brutus' head. No wonder Brutus is anti-dextrous with a basketball.

Slurp N Burp

July 22, 1965

This guy is holding the hose like he wants his sexy neighbor to hold his...Can I finish this sentence? I mean, this is kind of a family website but is it really?

Well, that's enough Born Loser for today.

Television Bore

July 21, 1965

Gotta do better than that to get Shirley's attention, Proto-Brutus. I'm surprised she doesn't feel it getting drafty or that the chair isn't rolling along behind her.

Brutus must be watching La Brea.

Maybe Brutus would be more engaged in the show if he sat up and sat in that chair like a normal person.

Ugh, They Said 'Tummy' Again

July 19, 1965

As far as know, and I know we've missed a few days here and there, this is the first mention of the name 'Thornapple'. It's a huge milestone. Every July 19, we should celebrate.

Why does this doctor have flasks and beakers and test tubes on his desk. If you are going to go to a doctor with this stuff in his office, you should expect that you are going to unwillingly become part of some freak experiment. This is all on Thornapple, to be honest.

Speaking of Thornapple.....

I was originally thinking this was going to be an age joke, but it instead turned into a fat joke, which I hate more. Not that age jokes are much funnier or appropriate.

This new...whatever Brutus is on here...will not even last a week, I guarantee it.

Is That a Loose Cucumber In There?

Wyoming was a town hopeful along the Shawnee (Calhoun) and Jefferson County line in Kansas. Appearing on one map in 1857, lots were advertised but the endeavor was abandoned within a few years.

July 16, 1965

I'm starting to think that The Born Loser is a terrible title for this comic strip. Maybe Foibles and Follies, or That's Life or maybe They'll Do It Every Time...wait, not that. There's nothing really loser-y about what's happening in any of these strips. Just strip after strip of how life screws all of us eventually.

I do love whenever cartoonists need to draw someone buying too much at the store, it's always normal things that you would actually need. I mean, this cart looks like it has some ketchup (or catsup), strawberry milk, a head of lettuce, a loaf of bread, a (A!!) stick of butter, some salt, and two frozen pizzas. There's not really much junk food in there like you would really buy if you went hungry.

Maybe when the Thornapples want junk food, they guzzle down some ketchup. I don't know.

Happy Birthday, Mother Gargle! Hope You Like Crap!

July 15, 1965

The United States entered the Vietnam War in March 1965. This riot could also be because of the Voting Rights Act which would be signed into law in August 1965. I guess we'll know which protest this is for when we learn the degree of violence the police use to stop it.

Is that "WAF" or "WAP"? It's "WAP" right?

Eldercactus

"Why can't I just spend a dollar? She's not my mother."

And you know Brutus just grabbed the first thing as he walked through the doors. Chances are, Brutus just bought whatever was on this poorly displayed table:

Hope Veeblefester Doesn't Get Any Ideas

July 14, 1965

I do like how Art attempts to do something different. It'd be nice to see comic artist do different things these days but those newspaper comic panels are printed so small now, that drawing 20 pairs of footprints would be hard to understand.

I sincerely hope the menial task Brutus and Arnie are working on is putting the files in reverse alphabetical order. Meanwhile, "Hail to the Chief" drones on in the background.

I Make a Joke About the Chair Being Green and Today It's Colored Magenta

March 19, 1989

Brutus has moved on with his life. Maybe Gladys is still mad because of her posture. Who sits on the couch like that?

I wonder if that chair is green, like in the current comic strips.

So we're not actually talking about memorizing the whole speech, just the opening lines--which is all anyone ever remembers anyway? I think Wilberforce can remember "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal." I mean, the Kennedy one is good as well. I'm partial to more obscure quotes. Everyone is going to be quoting Washington, Lincoln, Kennedy, all the big prezzies. My choice would be "I cannot ask for heaven success, even for my country, in a cause where she should be in the wrong. May our country always be successful, but whether successful or otherwise, always right." This is from John Quincy Adams in response to Stephan Decatur's statement "Our country! In her intercourse with foreign nations may she always be in the right, but our country, right or wrong."

I'm glad that even Wilberforce knows that quote isn't from Lincoln, but he should be more concerned about the weird indoctrination, which is why I'm more partial to quotes from presidents that point out the United States' many, many, many flaws.

Steven Kraan

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

She Sees Dead People

I've been having weird dreams like when we were on lockdown during the pandemic over the last couple of weeks. I blame it being winter and cold, but have we really left March 2020? Have we?

Anyway, last night I had two weird dreams. The first one, I was working in an office job and had just come back from vacation. Why the dream couldn't show me on vacation, I don't know. Maybe it's because I haven't had a vacation since 2018 so my subconscious doesn't remember what one feels like. I came back from vacation and saw that many of my desk tchotchkes had gone missing so the rest of the dream was me trying to figure out what happened to them and no one caring. The next dream was my block was celebrating Voice Day, apparently a day where we dress in sky blue robes and sing in the streets. There was barbecue, rides, games. It looked pretty fun. At least it was until someone showed up and started shooting at people. Even in dreams, we can't be safe from mass shooters.

July 13, 1965

I hope that's someone wearing one of those shark fins you wear around your torso. Not that that makes this scenario any better. Shark or murderous stranger pretending to be a shark?

Mother Gargle's other senses are failing so her sixth one needs to compensate.

Fish Dish

July 12, 1965

I know that everything is just an arrangement of atoms and chemicals, but how does this happen? You'd think there'd be some point in the construction of this thing where he'd be like, "This doesn't look right..."

And you're not a failure, you're a born loser!

"Kids say the darndest things..." Gladys smiles knowingly at...the wall? A plant sitting on a table? The stove?

I don't think we needed the word 'when' to connect the two word bubbles. It seems awkward.

Friend of the Friendless

July 8, 1965

Were movie theater seats different back then? I see this joke a lot of heads and hats blocking the screen. Ernie Bushmiller's Nancy is lousy with these jokes. I understand hats but were the seats not true theater seating? I've been in older theaters and the seating seemed fine. I could see the whole screen, subtitles and all.

Veeblefester has no use for friends. Besides, is he losing his temper at work? He shouldn't be friends with his employees anyway. He's the boss.

Be Mine

Oak City was founded in 1887 about a mile west of Liberal, Kansas in Seward County. Planned to be a major city, it grew fairly fast. A post office opened in May 1887 with Ruby Cook as postmaster, but when the railroad crossed into Oklahoma, most of the people and the post office moved south to Tyrone, Oklahoma and some buildings were moved to Liberal. Today, the site of Oak City is an empty field. Oak City ceased to be within two years.

In late 1887, Oak City had some excitement as the Kelly family were discovered to be serial killers similar to the Blood Benders. They ran a tavern just over the border from Oak City and their crimes were discovered shortly after they had abandoned it and disappeared.

July 6, 1965

Is there a reason they are pilgrims? The joke doesn't require them to be pilgrims, just to have someone in stocks.

Avocados?! Those are delicacy in South and Central America but won't be introduced into North America until 1825.

What's with the propeller on his capotain--or "pilgrim hat" if you prefer.

"Sure, I would totally rather love someone other than my mom, yet here we are. Now, if you don't mind, Butch Kapinski gave me a few links to some YouTube videos that will help me get in touch with my masculine side."

I'm Glad He Clarified It His Car's Tire That Was Flat

July 3, 1965

Kookie, Kookie, lend me your comb. I hope the war goes on forever and Calvin gets drafted.

What's his shirt say? "Fly Your Flag!"? "View Your Meat!"?

I love that Brutus is late and Gladys just immediately thinks he went out to imbibe in some spirits or something. Brutus doesn't need Mardi Gras as an excuse to drink.

I Don't Mind Getting Up, It's Having to Do Things I Don't Like

July 2, 1965

What are we test piloting? We have airplanes that do this for us now. Are in ancient times? Is this an Icarus thing? Icarus has bigger problems than a cliff.

I find this hard to believe. Old people have the most erratic sleep schedule I've ever seen. They're up between 4 and 6 every morning. Maybe at the latest, 8 to 9. But an old person sleeping until noon? That's not real.

He Won't Get the Job

Apparently there are new people signing up for various social medias over the last week or so. I haven't seen any, but I've acquiesced myself to believing that I must be pretty lame online which is why no one follows me. Anyway, you can catch up with what this is and why I do it from my post on January 1st. You can follow me everywhere on social media as well. I'm going to try to be better at being on it.

March 12, 1989

I have been saying for years that Echo Glen/Cliff/Point needs a guard rail. Clearly people fall off of it as evidenced here. It's good to see that I am right. As I knew I would be.

Ok...Those are some pretty good pros. What are the cons? Maybe these are the cons. Increased responsibility = being the face when the company does something wrong and being the fall guy. More travel...to places where slavery is legal and genocides are committed. And the more money doesn't justify the stress and moral implications of the job. As for the larger office, it's haunted.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Sorry About the Verbal Domestic Abuse

July 1, 1965

Many consider the story of Samson and Delilah to be a cautionary tale about hanging out with outsiders and foreigners. The Bible seems full of stories like that. "We love prostitutes. They just better not be from the other side of the river!"

Was Samson supposed to be an ugly meathead doof? Most statues and paintings I looked up show him as handsome and muscular. This interpretation is...not that.

"I hope Mama wasn't too terrible yesterday. If only there was some way we could just tell her not to come over unless she can be nicer. Oh, well, I guess there's no way we can do that. We're stuck with her."

Waking Up Is the Worst

June 30, 1965

Men would rather make a giant pencil than go to therapy.

That's a good-looking pencil. Interesting size choice for the lead. Hopefully he's not blocking the washer and dryer. She's busy taking care of the house while he's screwing around in the basement.

Get your best night sleep EVER

with the SLEEP SACK!!

Form-fits your body to reduce muss, fuss, and tossing and turning.

You don't need to move your arms, legs or body while sleeping so why

even give your body that option!

Stop movement in its tracks!

Comes in four sizes! Child! Large! Extra Large! Couple!

Only $39.99 at Walmart, Target, and other fine department stores!

Left on Read

June 29, 1965

Why does Nemo Killjoy look like President Trump? It's 1965 so he's definitely lost this election. Now, if it was 2024, he'd probably easily win and be the politician everybody wishes they could be. Y'all know you don't have to be assholes, right? It kind of seems like you don't know that.

The gigantic bobble-like heads in these early strips bother me.

Ha-ha! Brutus poor cell phone service is going to get him fired and he and his family will be out on the street.