Sunday, December 31, 2017

2018πŸ”ͺ πŸ’€7πŸ’€



Random Observations:

  • The party hats are just adorable but it's clear that they are trying too hard.
  • Considering it's already nighttime, it's clear they didn't make plans so why didn't they figure out their evening before now?
  • Did Chip really think 'toot' was a better choice of word than, say, 'blow'?
  • Considering that nothing really changes when there is a new year, going to bed early is a pretty good idea.
  • I didn't really have a problem with 2017, as I've mentioned. Now 2016? That year can burn in the fires of the past.
  • As with many celebrations, Brutus and Gladys are doing this one without their beloved son, Wilberforce. That kid doesn't get to do anything.
I will be taking the next week off to finish up some writing and get back into the habit of work. I will return January 8th (although Point of Beginning #6 will post before that). Hope you all have a wonderful new year and I will see you all in 2018.

#NeverForget

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Tea Tea Resolution


I've never been a fan of New Year's resolutions. Look, you either change some aspect of your life or you don't, who really cares? But I do like Gladys' advice here. Take up something you hate only to give it up in less than a week. Makes perfect sense.

Friday, December 29, 2017

Are They Watching Static Or a Spinning Cube?


Forget worrying about how boring you are or that your cable is out, I'd be worrying about the rising water behind you. Here's hoping that this marks a shift in the comic where the Thornapples are the last family on a rapidly eroding island and they try to appease each other and their god before the winds and rising water destroy their home and kill them all.

Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Tauy Creek Digest #40: What About Brian?


2017 started out with a question mark. The Great Orange Fuhrer was just elected as our president due to a major backlash against our country's first black president and a bunch of white guys feeling emasculated because the times they were a-changing. But between the politics and regular work that I do, I was actually able to get things accomplished this year and hope to continue all the good work into the new year.

The first big thing was attending our local Women's March after Inauguration Day at the Kansas State Capitol. It was great seeing hundreds of people stand up against a president and administration that doesn't have the average Americans' best interest at heart. Mostly, it was great seeing inspirational people and hearing inspirational speeches aimed at getting people involved and, when it comes right down to it, just being a decent human being. Politics have always been pretty important in my household since my first date with my wife was at Yello Sub while watching the Super Tuesday election results back in February of 2008. I also started getting more into local events, my first one was a celebration in the City of Topeka paying off the bonds to rebuild the Topeka Boulevard Bridge early. After a short speech from the mayor, a small group of people, me included, walked from the old Post Office in North Topeka across the Boulevard Bridge to the south bank of the Kansas River and back again. It was an odd thing to celebrate but I was glad I did it. February also ended with getting to see Hasan Minaj at Liberty Hall and Senator Bernie Sanders at Topeka High School.

For my birthday, I went on a tour of an area of the Flint Hills that I don't normally get to see. We went to see places in Marion, Cottonwood Falls, Strong City, Florence, and Cedar Point which gave me a better appreciation for other places in Kansas and made me want to learn even more about the state that I call home. Shortly after my birthday, I learned that I was going to be working at the Territorial Capital Museum in Lecompton over the summer as an interpreter.

While at Lecompton, I wrote a few articles for their website, got more acclaim for my research on the Douglas County Poor Farm and even gave a presentation on it. I was also on the radio talking about it and other things and hired to do some research on Lawrence history for Lawrence Magazine which came out earlier this month. As a parting gesture, I wrote a special article for the Lecompton Historical Society newsletter, The Bald Eagle, about Henry Miles Moore. Also during this time, I began working on bringing back my website and delving more into history and research.

What I hope to accomplish for 2018 is to do more research and work to get those published somewhere other than my website. I'm also working on keeping a tight schedule in relation to the Story Series and Losers Are Made, Not Born so there is no lag between issues and finishing my second book by the end of the year. But I'm also working on a collection of short stories and am going to try to get a couple of the Story Series published into book form for easier reading. I also want to finish my comprehensive research on the Miller family. I also want to use my Instagram more for cemetery pictures and other history related and also get into other types of media such as video and am currently scripting a couple of video ideas.

There's a lot I want to do over the next year from writing to research to conservation to exploring and I want to be able to share what I do. I will continue trying to post what I can online and, as always, you can catch me and whatever I write posted on Facebook (which I promise to use more in 2018), Twitter, Instagram, this very site, and Patreon where you can pledge money to me if you like what I do and would like help me do even more. I would like thank regular readers, newcomers, casual observers, basically anyone who has spent at least sometime looking over what I write. It's nice to have an audience to indulge me in my silly little works but also to entertain them. I am entering my tenth year running Tauy Creek and I'm hoping to make it the best year I've ever had. None of it I could do without you, the readers.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season and a great 2018. As always, please tell your friends about this website and I remain...

~Brian

Save Weight, Lose Money



Is it funny because she's upset that he changed his mind or that he fully admitted that he just doesn't want to spend anymore money? One, neither of those explanations makes it funnier, and two, neither explanation requires that angry side-eyed look the waitress is giving us.

Now just bring me a bowl of pre-made salad from the cooler behind you, a little plastic cup of dressing, two of those Keebler club crackers, a glass of water and charge me $4, tax and tip not included.

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

Skunkmas


Apparently there is a growing movement of keeping skunks as pets. In the United States, owning a skunk varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. In Kansas, it is illegal which is pretty par for the coarse in Kansas because we can't ever have any fun here. In Ohio, having a pet skunk is legal provided that you have the a permit. I would've let Hattie have a pet skunk. They seem like decent pets and look how cute they are.

Monday, December 25, 2017


"Your own money"? Look, I'm not opposed to suggesting that any money Gladys uses is hers that she can do whatever she wants with it but just say "you shouldn't have spent so much money on me." The joke still works.

I did a quick Google search and found a Cartier Swiss watch going for $120,000 so I hope Gladys got Brutus that one.

Sunday, December 24, 2017

History of Trees


I've never understood putting your tree up on Christmas Eve. Seems odd to do all that work of getting a tree--either from the forest or your basement--and only keeping it up for about a week. My family was always a 'weekend after Thanksgiving' family putting our tree(s) up the weekend after Thanksgiving. Our tree then came down the weekend after the new year.

So now that you know my Christmas tree habits, hope you all have a wonderful holiday but I do hope your tree is up longer than a week.

Saturday, December 23, 2017

Kid Eternity #1


Somewhere in the Taklimakan Desert, the Yongheng Temple had been laid to ruin. Centuries of history gone in an instant. The only survivor returned to the temporal plain and saw his colleagues and family slaughter among the ruins of the temple. Just before the entrance to the temple, there was the broken pieces of a ring. A new ring-bearer would need to be found to protect eternity.

And stop the old ring-bearer.

The survivor delicately put all the pieces of the ring in his hand then clenched his fist. Upon opening it, the ring was whole again. He closed his eyes and looked at everyone in the world. He saw one--14-years-old, brown hair, green eyes, outgoing, and someone who cares about history, the Earth, and humanity in general.

He closed his eyes again and he was gone.




Cory Buchanan and Chase Cannon walked through the small rutted road through the woods. From the school, it took them nearly 40 minutes to get through the woods. When they emerged, they were at a sparkling pond in a clearing. They had found this pond over the summer and had went numerous times to swim. It was a sunny and warm March day and this was the first time in the year they’ve been able to swim. Cory was excited for this.

They figured they were trespassing but they had never seen anyone else out here nor had they been harassed. Cory and Chase stripped off their clothes and dove into the water. It was crisp and cool and felt good on their skin. They swam for a bit before climbing out and relaxing on the dock, letting the sun dry their bodies. They laid out on the dock for nearly ten minutes until Chase got up.

“I’m gonna go diving,” he said and began walking to the other dock on the other side of the pond.

“Okay,” Cory sighed and went back to sunbathing. Cory heard a splash then silence. He heard Chase climb out and then dive back in, then silence. The silence lasted longer than the last time. After about a minute, Cory sat up. “Chase?” He got up and looked into the water. Seeing nothing, Cory dived in.

He found Chase under the water. He grabbed Chase around the waist and pulled him up out of the water. Cory struggled to swim to the dock. He pushed Chase onto the deck and, exhausted, slipped underwater.

He hit what he thought was the bottom but he was no longer in water. He sat up and saw a man standing with him. “Cory Buchanan,” the man said.

“Yeah…” Cory was suspicious as he got up.

“The new ringbearer,” the man said. He held out the ring that he had repaired earlier.

“What?”

“I am Yoshi C, the last surviving member of the Yongheng. You have been chosen as the next ringbearer, a protector of time and space.”

“Oh, thank God. I thought I was dead.”

“You are.”

“What?”

“Ringbearers have to be dead since they are required to go back and forth through time and space and face constant danger.”

“I guess that makes sense. So I drowned? I don’t even remember it,” Cory said.

“Not here, no. But when we get into the land of the living, you will.”

“Ooh, fun. So I’m a ghost?”

“No. It’s hard to explain but even though you’re dead, you are still alive. You will continue to live and grow but...again, it’s hard to explain. I’ll explain everything to you later. We need to get you back to the surface.”

Cory awoke back in the water, coughing it up out of his lungs. He swam back up to the dock and pulled himself up. Chase helped him onto dock and Cory vomited up more water and coughed endlessly.

“You were underwater for so long. I thought you were gone,” Chase said. “You really scared me.”

“You scared me, too,” Cory coughed.

“Sorry about that,” Chase said. “I got a cramp and couldn’t push myself up.”

Cory noticed that he should’ve been sweating but wasn’t. He also felt colder than he should’ve been. He noticed the ring on his right-hand ring finger. He casually felt his chest where his heartbeat should’ve been. There was none.




“Oh my God! Are you okay?” Isabella ran up to Cory in school and gave him a big hug.

“Yes. Why?” Cory asked.

“You nearly drowned yesterday.”

“You told her?” Cory turned to Chase.

“Yes, he did. And I’m glad he did. We’ve been friends since Kindergarten. I wouldn’t know what to do without you,” Isabella softly touched Cory’s cheek. She smiled at him and walked away.

“You shouldn’t have told her,” Cory said to Chase.

“Who cares? You got a big hug from her. Full chest,” Chase said.

“Please don’t talk about Izzy’s chest like that,” Cory said. “I also didn’t want to tell anyone because of what happened.”

“What happened?”’

“This!” Cory held up his right hand with the ring on it.

“Yeah...I still don’t quite understand what that means.”

“I don’t know either. Yoshi said he’d explain it better but I haven’t seen him since we were at the lake,” they stopped at their lockers and grabbed books for their first hour class. Cory saw a note taped to his book. “Ah, speak of the devil.”

Things are afoot in the Old West.
Find a private location and think of 1874.
The ring will do the rest.
-Yoshi C.

“‘Things are afoot’?” Chase chuckled.

“He’s, like, a billion years old,” Cory said. “Hopefully this will explain everything better. I don’t know how I’m supposed to think of 1874 but whatever.”

Cory went to an area past the cafeteria that led to another side of the gym but had no classes along that hallway so no one ever went that way. He looked at the ring, clutched his fist, closed his eyes, and thought about 1874. A bright light appeared and he was instantly transported to 1874--or at least that’s what Cory assumed. Yoshi had been apparently waiting for him. “Right on time.”

“Okay,” Cory breathed. “So what’s up?”

“What is up is Fred Miller. Before, he was just an unlucky criminal who has been in and out of nearly every jail between the Sierra Nevada and the Rockies. We wouldn’t be here normally but August Rhoodie has supplied him with a semi-automatic weapon,” Yoshi explained.

“Who’s August Rhoodie?”

“A servant of Sepulcher. He was the Ringbearer before you. He usurped all the power from my brothers for himself so he can control all of time.”

“If he’s so dangerous and can travel through time, then why have this August guy?” Cory wondered.

“Fred Miller has practically wiped out Canyon City and is on his way to Phoenix. We can worry about August Rhoodie later.”

Cory and Yoshi flew just a few miles, finding Miller easily, riding a stolen horse down a trail. “Hold up, cowboy,” Cory said, landing in front of the horse, startling it.

“Get out of the way, kid,” Miller growled.

“Look, I’ve leave you alone but I need your gun,” Cory held out his hand.

“This?” Miller pointed the weapon at Cory and began shooting. Cory was barely able to get a shield up in time to protect himself. “Some kids in strange clothes isn’t going to tell me what to do.” He continued shooting, some of the bullets cracked and went through the shield.

“Don’t get distracted,” Yoshi began. “Being distracted can weaken the ring’s power or create the wrong thing.”

“Oh, good. On-the-job training,” Cory said. Instead of focusing on Miller, he turned his attention to the horse. He created a large fire in front of the animal who then reared up. Miller dropped the gun so he could use two hands to hold the reins. Cory ran and grabbed the gun from the ground and then used the ring to put a jail cell around Miller and the horse. “This will hold you until the proper authorities find you,” he looked at Yoshi. “It will, right?”

Yoshi nodded.

“Wait. This still alters time. He murdered a lot of people. He’s going to get hung. Won’t his death alter time?”

“Ah, good. You’re thinking about stuff like this. With everything we do, we have to be concerned with changing time. The more you do this, the more you know what will create a big change and what will cause a small change. You also look at whether the ends justify the means.”

“Huh?”

“For example, Miller murdered two dozen people with a semi-automatic weapon. He has changed the time stream much more drastically for hundreds of people in the future and himself. That kind of change is much more severe than him dying at a different point in his life,” Yoshi explained.

“And we can’t change what happened. Stop Rhoodie from giving him the gun?”

Yoshi shook his head. “We could but it takes a certain kind of precision,” Yoshi quickly turned. “A posse. We need to go.”

Cory held out the ring and the two of them returned to the present. “This is so weird,” Cory said. “There’s so much to understand about this.”

“I’m sure you will do fine, Ringbearer,” Yoshi said. “All the others did.”

“The others? What happened to them?”

“I’ll tell you more later. You need to get back to school,” and Yoshi was gone.

Time Equals Money


You would think Hattie would like this idea. She likes food, she likes to eat, and I don't believe she gets enough of it at home. But the downside of getting food is how quickly it disappears. "Hey, now, I know you made three dozen cookies but there are only three wrapped up in this bag."

Friday, December 22, 2017

White Is More of a Pale Yellow


Leave it to an uncivilized person like Brutus to claim colorblindness as the reason he can't drink wine when color has nothing to do with it. It's like when people try to lie to someone about a person not being there and saying that they're dead.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Seasons Do That


"Gee, Gladys, I work hard every day all year while you are a stay-at-home mom which, don't get me wrong, is an important job, but our only child is at school for seven hours everyday giving you ample time to do work around the house instead of eating bon-bons in your robe in front of the TV. I also believe that the arms and legs of our child do indeed work which means he could've went out at any point this fall and did something with those leaves. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a sports game on."

Wednesday, December 20, 2017

BBBRASP!


Why should Brutus wish Mother Gargle season's greetings? He will probably see her at some point over the next week and she is over all the time. All. The. Time. Gladys shouldn't be shocked at Brutus' behavior. She knows he hates her mother and is slightly immature.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Based On a True Story


About a month ago, Chip took a trip to whichever syndicate actually pays him (I would assume United Features) and spoke with his editor about getting additional monies added to his contract in 2018. "My wife thinks my comics are pretty darn worth it," Chip cries as the editor taps on framed images from Get Fuzzy, Big Nate, Marmaduke, Pearls Before Swine, and Nancy, among others.

Monday, December 18, 2017

Soup of the Day


I'm assuming by Brutus' angry look that she has already taken the money and there is a giant sign behind her that reads "NO REFUNDS! NO EXCEPTIONS!" I understand how frustrating something like this might be but, hey, that's capitalism.

Sunday, December 17, 2017

SuperBrutus


When I first saw this comic I have to admit, I drooled a bit. It almost makes me want to go to Cleveland and see this exhibit but it seems really stupid to drive all the way to Cleveland, Ohio from Kansas just to see an exhibit at the public library. If you are in or around Cleveland between now and March 31, 2018, go see "Superman: From Cleveland to Krypton."

Where'd that banana come from? It wasn't there in the previous panels.

Saturday, December 16, 2017

Itchy & Scratchy & Marge


Credits
Episode 7F09 (#22)
Created by Matt Groening; Developed by James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, Sam Simon
Written by John Swartzwelder
Directed by Jim Reardon
Executive Producers James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, Sam Simon
Starring Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, and Harry Shearer
Also Starring Pamela Hayden, Maggie Roswell
Special Guest Voice Alex Rocco

Story
Homer is gushing about Marge's pork chops and to reward her for being such a great cook, he goes down to the basement to build her a spice rack.
"Beautiful."
While down there, Maggie grabs a mallet and hits Homer on the head. It's learned that she learned this behavior from Itchy & Scratchy. Marge writes a letter to the president of Itchy & Scratchy Studios but receives a snarky letter back. Marge winds up creating an entire movement going to shut down Itchy & Scratchy so Roger Meyers, the president of the studio, relents and makes Itchy and Scratchy more peaceful and loving.

Kids stop watching Itchy & Scratchy and begin going outside. But when Michelangelo's statue of David is making its way across the country with a stop in Springfield, the same group Marge started wants to censor the statue but Marge isn't on board. Marge is questioned over how she could justify disliking the violence of Itchy & Scratchy but not the nudity of David. Marge cannot so violence returns to Itchy & Scratchy.

Random Observations
  • This is one of my favorite episodes from the first two seasons. I like the 'behind-the-scenes' look at Itchy & Scratchy Studios and the argument against violence on television despite the world always being a violent place and of course compared to sex and nudity.
  • Like Marge, I am against gratuitous violence on television not because it's offensive or because it may cause some to act on what they see but because it lead to viewers becoming desensitized to real world violence meaning that when something happens they won't react properly and won't be able to empathize with what's going on.
  • Krusty can't read so after a couple of turns of the letter, he just crumples it up and throws it away.
  • "...and the horse I rode in on?"
  • Marge is spending a lot of time with her anti-violence group so the family has to resort to eating TV dinners.
    Homer: "There's peas in my fruit cobbler."
    Lisa: "There's peas everywhere."
  • All through the episode, Roger Meyers is calling Marge a screwball. When letters by the mailtruck start arriving I love Alex Rocco's read of "Ladies and gentlemen, the screwballs have spoken."
  • The first Itchy & Scratchy cartoon post-violence is just Itchy and Scratchy sitting in rocking chairs serving each other lemonade and commenting on how great friends they are. "Lemonade?" "Please."
  • After the cartoon, Krusty threatens the audience: "Wasn't that funny boys and girls? Well? Wasn't it?"
  • Michelangelo's David is arriving in New York, Springfield, and, if there's time, Chicago, Boston, and Los Angeles.
  • Helen Lovejoy: "I told you she was soft on full-frontal nudity."
  • This is the last entry for #ElevenSeasons for the foreseeable future. I'm hoping to bring it back sometime in 2018 but with all the other things I am currently working on, keeping this going isn't feasible. Thanks for reading and I hope to be back with more Simpsons.


Underlined Even


Well, we're finally at that point. Brutus is now so far deranged that he can create whole television networks out of the irregular synapses in his brain. Gladys has no sympathy though. You take your degenerative diseases and go to hell.

Friday, December 15, 2017

The Good Parts


Was...Was he not supposed to eat it? If it's for Christmas then you should've made it on the 23rd or something. It's going to be stale by the time Christmas comes and stale graham crackers tastes like soggy linoleum.

Instead of getting mad at Wilberforce for eating something that should be eaten, you could've made it at your place and brought it over or instead of surprising him, just tell people not to eat it.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Christmas Greed


We are two grown-ass men! Why are we talking about giving a list to Santa?

I've never been rich and probably never will be but I've often wondered if there is a switch in the brain that changes when you get a certain amount of money where you wind up greedy and wanting more money. I understand wanting to keep your money--security and all that but why do you need more? Do you think your children are that incapable?


(202)759-7766

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Great--Now the Elevator's Stuck


"Linus and Lucy", which was written by Vince Guaraldi in 1964, debuted on a jazz compilation by Guaraldi shortly before premiering on A Charlie Brown Christmas. It is technically not a Christmas song but yet always gets associated with Christmas. The song you should be playing from that special is this one:


Tauy Creek Digest #39: Bobbo in "Sleepwalk With Me"


Brooke had a slight snore as she slept. A small gurgle emanating from her throat and nose. She'd been asleep for couple hours--her bedtime being 9 o'clock. She then shuddered and pulled the blankets off her body. She sat up and extended her arms and began walking. Walking out of her bedroom and out of her house.

Bobbo was still awake, playing a video game. His window was open and his bedroom light was off so he was able to see outside. From the corner of his eye he saw someone walking down the sidewalk. He turned quickly, saw that it was Brooke, then went back to his game. Then he paused and dropped the controller, rushing to the window to confirm what he was seeing.

"Brooke?" he asked. "What is she...? Is she sleepwalking?" Bobbo left his room and went outside. He stayed several feet behind Brooke. He trailed her for a couple houses. Bobbo then peeled off and went to one of the houses and began tapping on one of the windows.

Max opened the blinds and pushed the window open when he saw Bobbo standing outside. "What's going on?"

"Brooke is sleepwalking," he pointed in her direction.

"That's not good."

"We aren't supposed to wake her up but we can try to make her safe and lead her back to bed."

"Uh, if you want to keep her safe then you might want to keep her away from that construction site," Max said.

"What?" Bobbo shrieked. Max jumped out the window and the two boys began running after her. Brooke entered the construction zone where an apartment complex was being built. There were several skeletons of buildings completed, all five stories. Brooke headed toward one of the buildings. She got onto some of the scaffolding and was soon making her way around the steel skeleton ten feet above the ground. Surprisingly, there was a watchman at the site eating a sandwich. "Hey, you have someone wandering around on one of your buildings."

The watchman turned and looked at Brooke, now, somehow, on the second floor of the skeleton. "She'll awaken...when she falls," the watchman said.

"That's a huge help, thanks," Max said and he and Bobbo ran into the construction zone to help Brooke.

"Hey, you two need hard hats!" the watchman shouted at them. He then shrugged and went back to his sandwich.

"What are we going to do?" Max asked.

"We have to try to wake her," Bobbo said. "You stay down here while I go up. Maybe I can lead her back down or get her to wake up on her own."

"Be careful, if you startle her she might fall."

"I hadn't noticed," Bobbo found a way up the steel structure and carefully walked along the beam. He made a quick down then panicked and grabbed onto one of the vertical support beams. "I didn't know I was afraid of heights."

His steps became more cautious and then he noticed Brooke now on the third floor. "How is she getting up there?" Max shouted from below.

Bobbo steadied himself and went after her. Down below, Max got an idea. He ran over to one of the big cement mixing trucks and found the keys still in it. "Terrible security in this place," he turned the key and started the truck. The loud noises of the engine and spinning drum echoed through the construction site. "Try to stay close to her in case she wakes up," he shouted to Bobbo but also followed her movement below.

Bobbo was heading after Brooke on the third floor and was about to reach her when she made a sudden turn. Bobbo stopped suddenly, lost his balance and fell over. His arm and leg was able to grab ahold of the steel beam so he didn't fall and wasn't dangling but he was now paralyzed with fear. Afraid that if he moved, he'd fall.

"Oh, balls," Max exclaimed. "I'm coming." Max ran to the building and made his way up to the third floor. When he arrived at Bobbo, he looked down to help his friend and got dizzy, falling back onto the steel beam. "I didn't know I was afraid of heights."

"Just help me," Bobbo cried.

Carefully, Max helped Bobbo onto the steel beam but both refused to stand up. "I say we just go back down and call the police or something. That probably should've been our first idea."

"That, or woke up her parents."

They carefully crawled their way down the building and to the ground. When they stood up again, their legs still shaking, they noticed Brooke was also back on the ground and heading out of the construction site back toward her house. They followed her and watched as she went down their street and turned toward her house. She opened the door, closed it, and was soon back in bed.

Bobbo and Max peered through the window and saw her climb into bed and go back to sleep. "What was that?" Bobbo exclaimed, waving an arm in a frantic gesture, his hand hit the window making a loud banging noise.

Brooke, startled, woke up and saw two faces staring at her through the window. "Bobbo? Max? What are you doing peeping on me? Do you do this every night? Get out of here you pair of perverts. You should be glad I don't wake my mom and dad. You should be glad I don't call the cops! Perverts!" she screamed and threw several stuffed animals at the window. Bobbo and Max ran off.