Monday, August 21, 2017

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Dancin' Homer


Welcome back to #ElevenSeasonsAndAMovie where I go through every Simpsons episode through season 11 and comment, opine, and reflect on it. The Simpsons was a big part of my life and it, along with a few other shows, molded my humor that you all enjoy today. We return today with "Dancin' Homer."

Credits
Episode 7F05 (#18)
Created by Matt Groening; Developed by James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, Sam Simon
Written by Ken Levine & David Isaacs
Directed by Mark Kirkland
Executive Producers James L. Brooks, Matt Groening, Sam Simon
Starring Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, and Harry Shearer
Special Guest Voice Tony Bennett, Tom Poston
Also Starring Hank Azaria, Daryl L. Coley, Pamela Hayden, Ken Levine

Story
Homer is in Moe's Tavern regaling the regulars on his return to Springfield after leaving town to become a big-shot mascot for the baseball team the Capital City Capitals. The story begins at an employee night at a Springfield Isotopes game where a drunk Homer, in order to get the fans up and cheering, begins dancing to Henry Mancini's "Baby Elephant Walk." It works and the Isotopes win a game. Homer is promptly hired by management and the 'Topes go onto a winning streak. Homer is then asked to join the Capital City Capitals. The Simpsons are hypnotized by the bright lights of Capital City but Homer's dancing antics do not thrill the big city audience and Homer is immediately fired while still in his underwear. The Simpsons return to Springfield and go back to their normal lives. Meanwhile, the bar flys love hearing Homer's story and ask him to tell it again.

Random Observations
  • This was once one of my favorite episodes and in my top five from this season. But on this rewatch, I felt that it did not hold up as well. It may be due to it being more of a kid-friendly episode, which were still pretty common in the second season. There is no B-plot but the episode packs a lot of action into it creating almost an epic episode--a rise and fall. While I feel this episode wasn't as good as I remembered it, it is a well-written, well-scripted, and tight episode that few shows could hold a candle to.
  • "Springfield Nuclear Plant Employee, Spouse, and No More Than Three Children Night"
  • The stadium sells 72 ounce tubs of beer.
  • Ladies and gentlemen, the Gammills.
  • Burns' card needs updating. It reads "Bart, Lisa, and Expecting."
  • Burns throws out the first pitch and it lands only a few inches from him.
    Bart: "Hey, Burns! You throw like my sister!"
    Lisa: "Yeah! You throw like me!"
    Smithers: "I think I could actually hear the air being torn, sir."
  • Bleeding Gums Murphy performs the "Star-Spangled Banner" and it lasts for 26 minutes. Only Lisa is left smiling at the end of it.
  • Isotopes Announcer: "Oh my God! The Isotopes win a game!"
  • Homer: "They weren't laughing at me. They were laughing toward me."
  • Shelbyville's minor league team are the ShelbyVillains.
  • I never noticed before but when Homer spells out Springfield he spells it S-P-R-I-N-G-F-E-E-L-D.
  • The Capital City Goofball. 
  • Lisa, on why they shouldn't leave Springfield: "Everyone here knows us and has forgiven us."
  • I love this piece of animation when the Simpsons are about to leave Springfield.
  • Homer's boss allows to Homer to take a leave of absence for "4 years? 5 years!"
  • Homer's good-bye to the Isotopes is modeled after Lou Gehrig's farewell speech. Let's just say the gravity of this situation does not equal the gravity and emotion of Gehrig's farewell. And that's why the writing and animation is amazing.
  • Homer, upon arriving in Capital City: "Look, kids, street crime."
  • The Capital City song sung by Tony Bennett is one of the best things in this season. Trying to make all the things that every middle-sized metropolis has seem amazing and worth going to is hilarious.
  • Two of the major attractions in Capital City are the Crosstown Bridge and the corner of 4th Street and D Street.
  • I find it interesting that the Capital City baseball stadium has a dome. Currently, only 6 of the 30 Major League stadiums have a dome. Since Capital City is a minor league team, it might be because it's not just a baseball field but some sort of sports center where numerous sports are played.
  • The people of Capital City don't like Homer's dancing antics but yet their mascot is the Capital City Goofball.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Supercomics #4


The nation awoke to the sight of Columbus, Ohio no longer there. Harris, now calling himself Cybernet, hijacked missiles and launched them at the city. The Senator’s house that he was staying in was spared since it was on the outskirts of town but a good portion of Columbus was reduced to smoldering rubble.

“We know where he is now,” Dmitri said. “Senator King’s house just outside of Columbus.” A picture of it came onto the screen.

“The military has given us,” he stressed “120 minutes to go in and take Harris down.”

“We’ve seen what he’s capable of,” America said. “Why not just nuke the son of a bitch?”

“Seriously?” Alix scoffed. “Nuking him would render what’s left of Columbus and everything in a 50 mile radius around it inhabitable. And there’s no guarantee it would even kill Cybernet.”

“Harris,” Geo-Whiz corrected. “Don’t give him the satisfaction of the name.”

“Sorry, I forgot. Having these names is pretty cool,” Alix giggled.

“We have 120 minutes to get in and get out? What will they do if we go over that time or don’t come out at all?” Agent Spider asked.

“They’re going to nuke the son of a bitch,” Dmitri answered.




“Something is coming,” Tillerson said, looking at a screen that showed America, Superkitten, Geo-Whiz, and everyone else arriving.

“Is it the military?” Cybernet asked.

“No, it looks like just five people. They think five people will stop us?”

“You know what to do, Tillerson.” Cybernet, now uninterested, turned away.

“Tillerson is dead,” he grumbled. “I am Smasher now!”

“That’s great,” Cybernet sighed. “Make this quick.”

Everyone arrived at the house. “So, what do we do? Do we just rush in? Do you think they have traps or something?” Agent Spider asked.

“Just go,” America growled and smashed through the front door.

“I guess we’ll just walk on in,” Superkitten said.

America, Agent Spider, Superkitten, and Geo-Whiz went into the house. Smoke stayed out in the jet to monitor the time and make sure they were out before the army launched the nuke or if Cybernet tried to escape. They took a few steps into the house when Smasher came around the corner.

“Of course he has a henchman,” America said. “I think we need to split up. Geo, Kitten, you get past...Smasher...and find Cybernet.”

“Okay. We can do that,” Geo-Whiz aimed his hands at the floor and used the dirt to knock Smasher out of the way. “We’ll stop Cybernet.”

“Cybernet can handle those kids,” Smasher scoffed. “I’d rather play with the big boys anyway.”

Smasher began charging at America. “Seriously?” Agent Spider exclaimed. “Him? Is it because of his American flag costume?” Spider shot his webs at Smasher. When they attached, he pulled on them and Smasher flew toward him and landed hard on the floor.

“It doesn’t matter who they attack first, Spider,” America said. “Just keep him down.”

Agent Spider shot more web at Smasher, attaching him to the floor. Smasher struggled to stand back up. He was able to rip some of the webbing off but more replaced it. America stormed over and struck Smasher with his fist. Smasher was ripped from the floor and flew across the room and through the wall.

Smasher immediately stood back up and charged at America who handedly dodged the large beast. Agent Spider couldn’t dodge in time and so was knocked down but America was over with him quickly and again punching Smasher as hard as he could. Smasher took grabbed America’s head and threw him back across the room. Smasher stood back up and grabbed Agent Spider in a giant bear hug and squeezed
tightly.

“I will crush both of you,” he said.

Agent Spider heard his spine crack and pop. He aimed his web shooter at Smasher and then blasted some webbing into his face. America then ran up, tackling Smasher and taking Smasher and Agent Spider down together.

Smasher let go of Agent Spider and tried to attack America. America kept striking Smasher. Finally, Smasher was able to knock America away. Smasher stood up, his face bruised and twisted with anger. He clenched his fists and screamed “Die!” then collapsed onto the floor, unmoving.

Agent Spider rocked Smasher with his foot and when it was clear Smasher was down for the count, began trapping Smasher to the floor with his webbing. “That was a lot harder than I thought it was be,” Agent Spider exhaled sharply.

“I wonder how Superkitten and Geo-Whiz are doing,” America wondered.

“I don’t know but we should hurry after them. If we had trouble with this guy I can’t imagine what they might be going through with Cybernet.”

Thursday, August 3, 2017

POB #1: Murder Will Out!

In the afternoon of June 3, 1882, about half past four, a man's hand was found by three boys playing along the Kansas River bank in Lawrence. They alerted a nearby fisherman who watched the body while the boys ran to inform Marshal Prentice, a reporter at the Lawrence Daily Journal, who went to inform the coroner but found he was in Emporia. Bringing Dr. A. Fuller in his stead, they went back to the river to pull the body out of the river.

The body was a fair looking man. Five ten or five eleven, light complexion, blue eyes, sandy hair, dark red chin whiskers and a mustache, drilling drawers, white socks, gray woolen shirt, and red undershirt. The man also had a silver watch and a ring on a chain. Inside the ring were the initials D.B. and the date June 28, 1874. He also had several keys, a knife, several coins and other things.

The man also had eight deep gashes upon his head and the middle finger of the left hand was slit and the thumb almost cut in two. The body was taken and washed and viewed by a large number of people in hopes of verifying his identity. No one identified the body.

A coroner's inquest was held and it was determined that the victim was murdered in or near North Lawrence within the last 48 hours and thrown into the river. His watch had stopped 9:20 PM and people near the place where the man was found did hear cries near there the previous night but no other clues could be located.




Another coroner's inquest was held Sunday afternoon at 3:10 PM. One of the witnesses, Charley Allen, a young boy near the murder site, gave his testimony.

"I live in North Lawrence; am seventeen years old. Haven't seen the body. On Wednesday night between 9 and 10 o'clock I saw him killed. I was about ten feet from where he was killed. I was by the corner of the ice house; I saw Isaac King and George Robertson running up by the bank. Then I heard the man holler. He hollered three times that he would get up when they struck him. Ike King had a hickory stick about as big around as my wrist, and a hammer. George Robertson had a crowbar. They took them back to Pete Vinegar's house. I saw Dora Vinegar and Lizzie Ferguson run up to the ice houses, and they had got back to Vinegar's when I got back. Pete Vinegar was at the house all the time. Ike struck first and I heard the man holler. They didn't say anything while they were beating him. I saw the white man and Sis Vinegar and King and Robertson go up by the ice house a short time before the killing. Dora and Lizzie ran back to the house when the man hollered. They pounded him three or four minutes. I saw the man in the water that night after he had been killed, but I was afraid to stay there for fear they would kill me. King and Robertson said if they had seen me and Grant Blackman who was with me they would have killed us. Sis Vinegar, after they had hit him said 'Come on. I've got his money.' When we came back in found Sis and Dora and Lizzie and King and Robertson all standing in the yard by the fence. They all looked scared. After killing the man King and Robertson ran back together and Sis came back alone. Sis came last. Sis asked Mame Vinegar if there was any water in the house and she said no and then started after some water. She told us not to tell about it or she would kill us. Pete Vinegar didn't say anything. We told Robertson and King that we wouldn't say anything about it. They said they would kill us sure as hell if we did tell. I stayed that night at the Millers. Ike and Robertson stayed at the Vinegars. When they came back to the house Ike said they had killed a man. Mame Vinegar asked who he was and Ike answered he didn't know."

When Charley went back out the next morning, he couldn't see the body in the river or any sign that the murder had happened but he went and told his mother. The next witness was 12-year-old Grant Blackman he confirmed what Charley had witnessed and added that the man and Sis were walking together. King and Robertson snuck up behind them and hit the man. Sis got his money and told King and Robertson not to kill him. They did anyway and disposed of the body in the river.

Other witnesses included Lizzie Ferguson, Dora Vinegar, Pete and Margaret "Sis" Vinegar, and several other people. One of the witnesses was Amos Bausman of Montgomery County, Ohio, who verified the identity of the body.





David Bausman had just recently moved to the Globe area of Douglas County. He was born June 11, 1840 in Montgomery County, Ohio to Christina and Jacob Bausman. He had eight brothers and sisters. Bausman enlisted in the 74th Ohio Regiment during the Civil War. He was wounded in the Battle of Stone River in Tennessee on December 31, 1862. He married Sophie after the war and moved to Ohio Township in Franklin County, Kansas where they lived and farmed until Sophie passed away in July of 1881 at the age of 31. She is buried in Table Rock Cemetery in El Paso County, Colorado. David moved to Marion Township in Douglas County shortly after and had told friends he was heading to Lawrence this week to visit friends. While Sis Vinegar denied in her testimony that she ever saw the man, took his money, shouted, or was even there, the coroner determined that Sis lured Bausman to the banks of the river and while he was preoccupied by her, King and Robertson snuck up behind him and struck him. Sis took the money and ran while King and Robertson continued beating Bausman before dumping his body into the river. King and Robertson remained in the city until the body was found when they then fled.

David Bausman was remembered by the people of Franklin County as an honest and upstanding man who owned ample property and had money in the bank. It was never determined why he was lured to the river by Sis Vinegar but the empty whisky flask might have been part of the reason. The murder of Bausman made the people of Lawrence take stock in how much they took their peaceful town for granted especially since it was clear that they had "Benders in their midst."





On Sunday afternoon, Sheriff Asher went to Independence, Missouri where it was believed that Robertson had went. After spending several hours in town, he spotted Robertson and talked with him. Robertson turned to walk away but the sheriff drew his gun. Marshal Silvers, of Independence, grabbed Robertson and Sheriff Asher, with Robertson, returned to Lawrence around 11 P.M. Almost immediately, Robertson implicated King in the crime saying that he did it all. He also implicated a man named Draper who was already in jail. King, however, had ran away to the Kansas River bottoms east of Eudora. A posse went to Eudora and searched. Feeling them getting too close, King surrendered and he was also brought to the jail.






At about one o'clock Saturday morning, about fifty or so men went to the jail and demanded King, Robertson, and Pete Vinegar. The Sheriff initially refused but the citizens began chiseling at the wall and trying to pry the locks off the doors. After a few minutes, the men were in and dragged the murderers from their cells. They were marched to the Kansas River bridge, halted at the middle, said short prayers and then the three were then swung over the Kansas River. Most of the mob wore masks but some just had their faces blacked. As they came back down Massachusetts Street, a crowd cheered for them. It was asserted that most of the men in the lynching party were black.

The ropes were put around the men's neck in the jail. Vinegar kept proclaiming his innocence, Robertson begged for mercy, and King said nothing. Robertson went over the bridge first, then Vinegar, and finally King. Robertson and Vinegar died immediately while King was apparently strangled. The Sheriff and coroner viewed the bodies at two in the morning and ordered them cut down and brought back to the jail. A coroner's inquest was held with numerous witnesses describing the scene and what happened.

The lynching quickly made the rounds in the newspapers all across Kansas. Many were shocked that "mob rule" would be something that happened in Lawrence. Most papers felt despair and embarrassment that this happened at all in the state of Kansas, let alone in Lawrence. Rev. H.R. Pinckney called a meeting of African Americans in Lawrence and denounced what the murderers did but also the result citing that it is up to the citizens to keep 'law and order'. Rev. Dr. Cordley expressed the same sentiment that justice was not done and that Lawrence and Kansas should be embarrassed by the lynchings and the lack of true justice. Margaret "Sis" Vinegar, who was also in the jail at the time, was spared her life. For now.






Sis Vinegar plead not guilty to the murder of David Bausman and her trial began Wednesday, October 4, 1882. It was difficult finding jurors, the public mind prejudiced by the awfulness of the crime and the hangings of King, Robertson, and Sis' father. The same witnesses from Bausman's coroner's inquest were called to testify as well as new people. A large bulk of the trial focused on Vinegar's past crimes of thievery and larceny along with her carousing with other unscrupulous citizens. She was convicted of first degree murder but was granted a new trial.

The new trial of Sis Vinegar began April 9, 1883 and she was, again, convicted of first degree murder on April 12. According to the law, she would spend the rest of her life in jail. While Sis did not act directly with the murder, she had conspired with King and Robertson. She was the last player in the murder of David Bausman. She was sent to the women's state penitentiary in Lansing for the rest of her life. Her life, as it would turn out, would end on February 1, 1889 of tuberculosis. She is buried in Mount Muncie Cemetery in Lansing.

King, Robertson, and the elder Vinegar, it's reported, are all buried in Oak Hill Cemetery in Lawrence. None of them have stones and were probably buried in the potter's field in a mass grave.

Epilogue
These were not the first lynchings in Douglas County. The first occurred back in the 1850s. A group of six horse thieves were brought back to Lecompton from Rising Sun in Jefferson County and hung for their crimes. While most lynchings in Kansas were related to horse theft, a common crime in the West and one where you were immediately hanged for, there were at least 38 hangings of Negroes between the 1850s and 1930s--typically for murder or rape. And this isn't even a complete list. Dozens of rumored lynchings were reported but the time and place were vague at best. In Kansas, lynchings were always considered beyond the law. "Judge Lynch" was considered an irregular punishment and in direct defiance of the law. In fact, according to Kansas statutes, cities could be held legally responsible if a lynching happened within the city limits. Kansas law dictates that three or more people constitutes unlawful assembly and that five or more people is legally a mob. In the case of a lynching, the number of people is not specified and any group of people wanting to cause violence to a person with disregard of the law is a mob.

When the Ku Klux Klan used its influence in Kansas in the 1920s, lynchings were still non-existent. The KKK would tar-and-feather and, once, kidnapped and flogged the Catholic mayor of Liberty. Wanting to tamp down, Kansas Governor Allen issued a proclamation banning the wearing of masks on public streets and ordered them to register as a business, which would never be granted. The KKK lasted in Kansas from 1922 until 1927 before it was finally ousted.

For an incomplete list of all lynchings in Kansas plus a brief history, the book History of Lynchings in Kansas is available at the Kansas State Historical Society website.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017


You may have noticed the lack of updates. There is a reason for this. Summer vacation has recently started and as soon as it did, I got sick. I had originally planned to churn out new updates and try to get on a semi-regular schedule but instead I didn't get anything done and have decided to turn my main focus to getting my novels started and hopefully completed and my short stories. While I will still be working on the Story Series, I'm not going to post them until I have a complete story to publish. #ElevenSeasons and Comic Comics will also return but, again, when I have a backlog of entries to publish.

I still plan on being active on Twitter and Instagram but I also hope to focus more on the Tauy Creek Facebook Page so keep in touch there.

Friday, May 26, 2017

He Seriously Doesn't Know?


With school finally out, LAMNB is back. It's going to be a busy summer with trying to get updates here stabilized but also working two jobs--making deliveries and being a museum interpreter (or tour guide). It'll be a busy summer but hopefully it will be a good one.

I've been reading The Born Loser for many, many, many years now and Kewpie has never seemed like the kind of dog that would run away and need to be found. Also, what's wrong with the tag she has now? What has she been doing with it? Is it really so scratched up that you can't read it or is it missing or is it out of date?

Saturday, May 13, 2017

He Helped Eat It


HAHAHAHAHA! Men can't do anything in the kitchen. If you want men to cook, you better be grilling something. Men just can't. Amirite, ladies? HAHAHAHAHA!!

Friday, May 12, 2017

Catman #3

“What could go wrong?” the man known as Toy-Man asked as he diced potatoes. “Our new friend is quiet, he’s barely cried since he got here, and the Order will protect us like it always has.

I have an odd feeling about tonight. Something feels wrong.

“You’re just being paranoid, Mother,” Toy-Man chuckled. His mother had died several years ago. Just recently she had come back into his life and was a welcome presence. She helped calm the fears that he had. He continued making a dinner for both him and his guest at Catman gently landed on the roof.

Most of the apartment tenements were empty. The Toy-Man was one of the few residents of it and he was the only one on his floor. Everyone else was in the first three, he was on the fifth. Catman broke into the roof access door and began following the metal staircase down. His feet hitting the steps made a slight echoing noise. He went down four floors and exited at the fifth. He could smell something cooking and just followed the smell to the Toy-Man’s door.

Catman then crashed through the door, wood splintering onto the floor. Toy-Man quickly turned, using the knife he was cutting potatoes with as protection. Who is that, Albert? What’s going on?

“I don’t know, Mother. Give me a minute,” Toy-Man angrily walked up to Catman, knife drawn. He swung and barely missed Catman. Catman pushed him away and he slammed into the wall. Toy-Man took another swipe and was actually able to nick Catman’s suit. “Who are you?”

“Someone who is finally going to stop you,” Catman growled and barrelled into Toy-Man. They fell to the floor and Catman wrapped his hands around Toy-Man’s neck.

Albert! Fight back. He’s just some guy in a cat suit.

“I’ve got one more idea, Mother,” Toy-Man croaked as Catman tightened his grip. “If I die. The kid dies.”

Catman’s grip loosened and Toy-Man kicked Catman off of him. “You monster,” he growled.

Toy-Man stood up and opened a kitchen drawer. He pulled a gun out and pointed it at Catman. “You can’t stop me. People have tried for years to stop me. I’ve always gotten away with it. I can’t be stopped. I won’t be stopped. Especially by someone like you.”

Catman took a step toward Toy-Man who quickly turned the gun to himself, opened his mouth, and pulled the trigger. The gunshot echoed through the apartment and blood splattered on the kitchen wall, counter, and sink behind him. Catman heard quiet crying coming from one of the rooms. He followed the sound and found a young boy tied to a bed. Catman untied him, helped him get downstairs where the police were starting to pull up.

Catman took off across the rooftops, satisfied that the Toy-Man wouldn’t bother any other young children again. Catman rested on a rooftop and looked out over the city. He felt better about what he was doing. He couldn’t save his family. Couldn’t save his child but he could save others.

“He needed to go,” a voice behind him said. It was a woman’s voice. “The Order could be so much more if we had fewer like him in it.”

Catman turned around and saw a tall, redheaded woman in a green pantsuit standing with him on the rooftop. “Who are you?”

“I’m Ivy,” she answered. “I was sent to stop you. I waited because Albert needed to be taken care of first.”

“You’re part of the Order? But you’re a woman,” Catman lightly scoffed as he eyed Ivy.

“True but I think you’ll find that I am just as good and capable as any man,” she said and before Catman knew it, she was on top of him. She took his cat ears and began slamming his head onto the roof.

Catman tried to push her off or roll over but she was too strong and too flexible. Within a couple of minutes, Catman blacked out.

I Like the Use of the Moon


I learned a lot of things by riding on the bus. I also did a lot of things on the bus because, let's face it, short of actually causing an accident, it's mob rule on the school bus.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

The New 52


I wasn't able to post at my regular time because I had a job interview but I see that I didn't miss much. Nothing to insult here. Happy anniversary to the Born Loser and to Chip.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

I Don't Think You Can Fire People For That


Hey now. Veeblefester isn't exactly svelte. Veeblefester is just better at hiding his fat because of his height and his suit.

Monday, May 8, 2017

The Suggestion Box Is Not a Joke


I love how employees always seem to think that a suggestion box means the things they put in will actually be adopted. I also love how Brutus seems to be kind of vindictive today. "My in-your-face suggestion about getting rid of those vanilla wafer cookies in the vending machine will make Veeblefester remember who's boss around here."

Sunday, May 7, 2017

Is Lord Right? Should It Be 'God'?


"Why do I need to do homework? These shoes will make me a basketball star. No need to save for retirement because I'm going to earn us a money bin with these shoes. King James will bow down to Lord Wilberforce."

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Man, Wilberforce Is Stupid


I've always "punched a time clock". Which is odd considering I've had at least three jobs where it could've been a salaried position but it's not true capitalism unless you hold people's money hostage for two weeks at a time.

Classic Magic #5

The tree stuck out of a field at a slight angle. Most of the branches hung over a ditch almost reaching where the road was. Jonah loved playing with the tree. It was easy to climb but with its many branches spreading all over, offered many different view of the fields surrounding his small town. Jonah felt different from the other kids in town, and it was because he was different. Jonah, along with most of his family, could do amazing things that other people couldn’t. In large cities and more developed countries, a human with magic was no big deal. They were just like everybody else. But in developing countries or small towns, a human with magic was still hanged or burned at the stake or something. Jonah didn’t want that to happen to him or anyone in his family so he kept quiet and his powers a secret.

But he was lonely. Aside from his brothers, who were too busy helping with the farm, and his sister, who was still too young and also a girl, Jonah didn’t have any friends. Except for this tree.




It had been awhile since Jonah had been outside. It rained for a week straight which was great for the crops but not so much for little boys. Jonah went out to his tree and immediately climbed it. The leaves were so green and more had shown up on the long branches. Jonah thought about his powers. He didn’t need to remain here in this tree. Jonah could bring the tree to life, go somewhere away from the roads, away from the city, and play with the tree. Then bring the tree back and put it back to normal. He had saw his father do a spell similar in order to move a rock in their field. His father and his brothers quickly rolled the rock out of the field and made it lifeless again.

Jonah ran his hands along a couple of branches and spoke the words he heard his father say. The branches began to move, almost like they were being blown by the wind. The tree began pulling its roots out of the ground. It suddenly made a terrible screech and was free from the earth.

The noise and the anger scared Jonah. Feeling something in its branches, the tree shook violently, small branches and leaves falling off. Jonah was thrown from the tree and landed hard on the side of the road, head splitting open on a rock. The tree screeched again and began lumbering toward the town, roots dragging along behind it.




As the tree entered the town, it smashed its branches into buildings and used its root to strangle and crush the necks of the townspeople. Jonah’s brother, George, happened to be in town buying grain when he saw the tree. Knowing what probably happened, he dropped the grain and ran back to the farm.

Realizing that Jonah was not around and that he had an affinity for a tree, his family went into a panic. The men quickly ran to town where the tree had decimated a good part of it. Numerous dead bodies were strewn about the cobbled roads. It appeared that some residents were able to get a spear and an axe into the tree but it was clear that they didn’t slow it down.

When Jonah’s father and his brothers brought the rock to life, as soon as the rock was out of the ground, they pushed it over and rolled it away as quick as they could and immediately turned it back to a lifeless object. They blamed themselves for not telling Jonah how inanimate objects act when brought to life. They blamed themselves for what was happening to their town.

George quickly tried to stop the tree but one of the roots came down, tearing through his chest and exiting his back. Jonah’s other brother, Lucas, created a flame to distract the tree while their father worked his magic.

Within seconds of the spell being cast, the roots attached to the ground and began sinking. The tree went silent and then lifeless. The tree went back to normal, as if nothing had happened, right near the center of town.

A man with a cart entered the city, carrying Jonah on top of his wares. His father gently touched Jonah’s hand and then lifted him off the cart and slowly carried him home to the farm. Jonah was gently placed on the ground by a tree near the house. Lucas grabbed a wool blanket from the barn and covered Jonah. Jonah’s mother and sister, Elizabeth, came out and started crying when they saw the covered body. Jonah’s father retrieved a shovel and began digging a hole for his son.

A hole was dug, Jonah was carefully lowered into it and covered with dirt. The family said a little prayer and began to head back to the barn to get a cart so they could retrieve George. As they walked away from the grave, they heard a commotion and looked back toward the town to see a mob of angry townspeople.

Friday, May 5, 2017

His Head Just Slides Down To His Chest


Seriously, Brutus is just sitting in his green chair staring at the wall. That can't be a comfortable chair to sit in and do nothing. Look at how scrunched Brutus' body looks. I'd rather be doing something anywhere else than nothing in that chair.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Is This Becoming The Uncle Ted Show Now?


"I was deep into sailing."

"Are you still deep into sailing?"

"No, now I'm deep into debt."

"You're deep into debt?"

"Very deep."

"Is that why you live here?"

"Yep, deep in the basement."

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

It's Clear To Me But Most Office Phone Have Separate Lines


Ugh. I hate that. I normally don't like talking to people on the phone anyway but doing this telephone tag schtick is just terrible.

The only time I've ever felt comfortable talking on the phone was years ago when my best friend lived in Phoenix. We'd talk for hours about several different things. It was when we were trying to write a movie or TV show so we had a lot to talk about. Never been comfortable talking on the phone before or since.

Monday, May 1, 2017

Was It Heavy-Duty Plastic At Least?


I remember a "swanky" place where I used to live. The best Italian food in the city. Decent portions, fairly priced, just a model of what a good restaurant should be like. The best restaurant to ever be located in a gas station. Don't laugh. They were able to move out, renovate a new place, and are soon opening a second location. "Swank" doesn't matter as long as the food is good.

Friday, April 28, 2017

I Got Nothing


I can't think of anything to say to this. It's awkward and a little insulting to have a marital spat in front of company but I also can't help but think about how abusive Gladys might be to Brutus.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

And He's Dripping Water Everywhere


I am pretty sure that this is the stupidest thing I have ever seen Wilberforce do. Wilberforce is supposed to be pretty stupid but this seems to go above and beyond plain stupidly and begins to trespass into "possible mental retardation" territory.