Halloween Quickies

February 23, 1977

"Tell me all about him!"

"No! He's all mine!"

The Thornapples having friends is such a weird concept. Maybe 'friends' is too generous. 'House adjacent acquaintances' maybe?

Hattie is bringing the witch look back. She hasn't been a witch since 2018. 2018 was also the year Wilberforce went as another version of Superman--Kong Kenan, the Super-Man of China to be exact.

Toe of Frog Seems Really Difficult To...Harvest?

February 21, 1977

Food doesn't have to be attractive for us to eat it. It's a lobster and those aren't very pretty to look at anyway. And if you are just body shaming this lobster, I'm not on board with that either!

She's not joking. The stew really has all that. Someone should call the board of health.

I'm imagining that those bats are not decorations but real bats just hovering and flying right there behind Brutus.

Let's Go To the Mall...Again

April 5, 1986

Back in the day, dog catchers were evil. They would delight in rounding up whatever dog they saw--owned, unowned, it doesn't matter, all for the thrill of locking the dog up and--hopefully--euthanizing them. Which is why in western pop culture, when you see a dogcatcher's van loaded up with dogs, you let them go. Better to let hundreds of rabid beasts go than let one good boy be put down.

You can't find your car in the vast car-filled parking lot? You clearly aren't shopping at the mall here.

They didn't leave the mall with anything so the chances of them just going to the mall to mall walk early in the morning is very high.

This comic is from 2018.

Games With Hurricane Hattie

January 31, 1977

Reciting the alphabet backward is easy. Why does Brutus want to lose his quarter? Maybe the quarter really does talk and what it says is very racist.

And Brutus lost another quarter.

If it took Brutus eleven (11) tries to guess the right number between one (1) and ten (10) then what number outside of 1-10 did he guess? Did Hurricane Hattie lie about what number she was thinking of? I wouldn't put anything past Brutus' stupidity or Hattie's...I'm just gonna call it 'precociousness'.

Such a Terrible Diner

January 26, 1977

Veeblefester wouldn't have laughed anyway because I'm sure he's heard the one about the farmer's daughter. It's 1977. Every man, woman, and child has heard the one about the farmer's daughter.

Two carrots? Are they just two raw carrots? Will Brutus be eating carrots like Bugs Bunny?

Make Your Face Better

January 13, 1977

You are in a disguise, holding out a hat, I'm assuming on the street, what did you expect to happen? I don't even know what's going on here. I'm guessing Veeblefester dropped some money into Brutus' hat and Brutus is mad Veeblefester didn't recognize him or gave him such a paltry amount? It's one of those two scenarios but that's meeting this comic more than halfway.

Oof. You should see my driver's license photo. It's rough. It's a couple years old--taken during COVID lockdown--but it's rough. And I look roughly the same now. I don't know why today's strip is calling me out and being a jerk, but it's just a comic strip and I'm an adult so I can take it.

Brutus Doing Yoga Will Last Two Days

I agree: To what end?

Every time I watch people do yoga, I'm just like "that looks stupid and would annoy me" which is mainly why I don't want to do yoga. If you like it, whatever. Enjoy it. I'm not you.

I'm not upset at the lack of watercooler in today's strip because I imagine that it is early in the morning and Brutus is talking to Veeblefester, not Arnie or that jerky-looking blond guy.

Have You Not Seen the News, Brutus?

January 6, 1977

It's just a tonsillectomy, Doc. It's not a life-or-death operation. Dr. Kevin Malone here seems overly concerned about this. If her tonsils didn't bother her when she was a child, then why would she have them out?

2032 is apparently already here in the Born Loser-Verse. This is the America Democrats want. Thanks, Obama.

Aye-i-Aye

December 31, 1976

You should use the vacuum, we just spent $70 to $500 on it.

So everything is running so smoothly that Veeblefester can just stand over employees and make sure they do their job? The employees at Veeblefester Tea Cozies need to form a union and strike.

The 3 Big Ones--Steinbeck, Dostoevsky, Tolstoy

March 23, 1986

Instead of eating hamburgers and egg sandwiches, we should be eating the rich.

I feel Veeblefester has already paid for the hamburger and we see no money exchange hands so hopefully this diner--or "greasy spoon"--has a least some of Veeblefester's money. I also hope Veeblefester is hit by a bus.

I am currently reading East of Eden. It's my favorite book and I'm reading it for inspiration on the book I'm writing. I like rereading my old favorites because I always find something new or interpret something a different way.

I find it cool--is cool the right word?--that I've read four of the five classic books they mention. I have not read Ivanhoe.

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Saturday Evening Quickies

December 21, 1976

Does the Ajax Plumbers receptionist answer all calls like this? I'd stop using them, too.

Why is Brutus so angry? His team loses literally all the time.

I wonder what kind of loss it is. Is it a close game and they lose. Are they ahead and then they lose? Or are they always behind and never catch up?

Honestly, He Should Expect a Hair In His Food At This Place

December 16, 1976

I was going to say that $45 doesn't seem like a lot of money but I looked it up and $45 in 1976 is now $240 so that's a lot!

Not to be a Disagreeable Daphne but if the hair is dark and roughly shoulder-length then it could be yours. You touch the food, too. No need to get all angry.

What Caused the Giant Increase In Sales Two Quarters Ago?

December 11, 1976

How much did vacuums cost in 1976? I'm trying to find out to see how much the Thornapples are in the hole for and I get stupid ranges of $70 to $500. If the price is closer to $70 then the payment plan was a dumb idea.

It's nice seeing more co-workers than Arnie, Veeblefester, and blond guy. I'm a bit concerned that the other Black person Chip shows has basically the same hair as Arnie. She deserves better than that.

Recalled

December 3, 1976

Why does Veeblefester want a picture of Miss Flittish? And why does he want to show his wife? Proof she exists? How he wants his wife to look? Some other sexist or pervy reason?

You mean to tell me that the Thornapples purchased from a dealership and still owe money on this car?

They probably called again about the recall because you haven't brought your car in to be fixed. Now, they personally don't care if you die in a horrible car wreck caused by whatever flaw you didn't repair but it doesn't look good for the dealership.

Dog Eat Food World

November 30, 1976

Or...

I wonder what kind of decoder ring it is. I know we're hinting that it's a childish decoder ring like Little Orphan Annie or something out of a Cracker Jack box but looking up pictures of decoder rings, there are some pretty nice ones out there. Makes me think I'm missing out.

I always pictured Kewpie as a bloodhound so he/she was originally bred for hunting. As evidenced in the last panel, that has been completely bred out of them. Poor, dumb oaf.

Mondays Amirite?

November 20, 1976

It'd be really great if Americana wasn't so rooted in slavery and racism. For some reason, in the original lyrics, 500 Black people are electrocuted while on a boat and apparently this song is sung through the eyes of a Black man trying to find a lost love. Why? Why did Stephen Foster think that was a good idea? And don't give me that "Well, it was 1848" excuse. That only works so many times.

I know I've complained before about us living in a 24/7/365 global economy but a majority of work still operates on a 9 to 5 schedule. Why can't Brutus sell tea cozies in the afternoon? What's the benefit of selling tea cozies in the morning? And why can't he sell tea cozies from home?

Brutus Has 99 Problems

March 15, 1986

I don't know why would go somewhere, see a guy dressed like this, and go "I want to buy something from him!"

Sounds like Brutus needs to get one of those seasonal affective disorder lamps. That's partly why I turn all the lights on during the winter. I got SAD one year and it was terrible. I did have a better support system than Mother Gargle though.

This comic was made at least two months ago. I'm sure whatever Brutus is going through is tame compared to what some others are going through.

If you would like to support humanitarian efforts in Gaza, The West Bank, or East Jerusalem, you can donate to the American Near East Refugee Aid (Anera). Donate here. 🇵🇸

People Love Their Junk Mail

Harry Anderson, I don't think I have to explain who he is at this point, would've been 71 this year. I didn't plan a big post like some years past. You can read about his book here, his first hosting appearance on Saturday Night Live here, or his guest appearance on some awful Canadian kid's show named Noddy here. This year, just some fond memories and a dollar bill/cigarette trick from a 1981 appearance on SNL.

November 18, 1976

Agnes' last name is 'Dooley'. That tracks.

Does Agnes wear better clothes, get her hair out of her hair, and put out her cigar when soliciting her services door-to-door?

Yestiddy.

I was going to comment about how that seems like a lot of mail just thrown away and then I realized that we probably throw that much away without doing anything with it every week. Comic strip characters--they're written by people who are just like us!

"Boy, there are a lot of credit card offers in here. They know we have no money, right? Or is that what they're going for?"

Cloudy With a Chance of...

November 11, 1976

It's funny because this is dessert! That's a Jell-O mold! Hey-O!

Meteorologists get 24 hour to seven day forecasts right between 95 and 75 percent of the time. When you increase it to 10-day then the percentage drops to about half. I don't understand why people don't realize that weather is very fickle and you get a change in wind direction and things could completely change, but whatever.

You Want Your Money's Worth

October 25, 1976

I'm going to assume that Veeblefester didn't even put a return address on the postcard or Gladys would've known who it was from. Maybe she doesn't read postcards that aren't for her. That shows great willpower and I'm impressed.

Veeblefester still sent the postcard. It's the thought that counts.

Another free plug for BritBox.

If she doesn't watch out, she's going to turn into a British mystery show. Innit, guv'ner?

Chili and Plants

I had jury duty all day yesterday so I just decided to stay offline. I should do that more often. We all should. We all should just log off and never return. Onto today's post, I guess.

October 19, 1976

BRUTUS' MOM!!??!! Or is this Brutus in women's clothing trying to do some kind of Mrs. Doubtfire thing? Wilberforce has clearly never met this woman before or was very young when they did meet. Where have you been for roughly 7 years? You owe him 7 years of birthday, Christmas, Valentine, and Veteran's Day presents.

If the chili is spicy enough to rocket your body into the air, he should really have a second pair of pants. I'm a little disappointed that this is a fart joke. What is this? Marvin?

That belt doesn't look long enough to strap yourself in.

Why is that plant there? Is it so we don't think they are just arguing in a void? Are we to assume she's going to throw that plant at Brutus? When the pot inevitably shatters, Brutus needs to jam one of the sharp pieces into her windpipe.

The Monday Blerghs

October 1, 1976

When you really think about it, giant billboards advertising things seems like a very dangerous distraction. When you think about it further, having a radio seems like a distraction as well. I guess the way it works is that you can either read something or listen to something but you can't do both at the same time. That causes accidents.

He just threw up in his mouth a little.

Brutus looks more hungover than tired. Can he even remember Sunday?

World Octopus Day Celebration Dinner

March 8, 1986

Palaver is a noun meaning "unnecessarily elaborate or complex" but I think it's used here in the slang sense of "unnecessary excitement or trouble caused by something unimportant". Here's some advice, Brutus: Don't be worried about what others think of you. Just be the best person that you can be. Only one person can judge us--Bimmyjim the Adjudicator.

You could celebrate the birth of Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee), Chevy Chase (if you're into that kind of thing), or R.L. Stine. It's also a Feast Day for several variations of Christianity. Or Arbor Day in Namibia.

Five bucks says they don't take Wilberforce with them.