Saturday, September 22, 2018

Why Do You Think?

Brunch was originally coined in 1895 as a late meal for "Saturday night carousers." Basically, a meal for people who were out too late on Saturday and woke up late on Sunday. While we like to think of brunch as being lighter than breakfast or lunch apparently you can slap any combination of breakfast or lunch foods together and call it brunch. Why have rules for anything?

I hope after that 'lunkfast' remark, Gladys broke that glass on the edge of the table and cut Wilberforce's face off.

Friday, September 21, 2018

Revolutionary

Teacher: "Class, your assignment was to find out all you could about the Revolutionary War. Hurricane Hattie, what did you find out?"

Hattie: "In the span of about ten years, France had conquered and acquired many lands from Italy to North America. Napoleon, who led the coalition to conquer Egypt, organized a coup and became the King of France which then led into another ten years or so of war."

Teacher: "I meant the American Revolutionary War."

Hattie: "Well, damn. I thought you meant the French one. You should've been more clearer."

Thursday, September 20, 2018

🤯

I guess his entire week was spent trying to figure out who was screwing up in production. We didn't  see Brutus at work this week. Which is fine. The strips about work are the worst ones because Veeblefester is a bad person and Brutus is bad at his job. There are only so many jokes you can make about that.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Trophy Spouse

"Could there ever be anyone else for you?"

"Why? Did Lividia die? Is Veeblefester free? I mean, we kind of already look alike so we might as be husband and wife."

"...Wut...?"

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

3 Across

My Mom used to love doing the crossword in the TV Guide. She would even buy the small digest magazines that were just TV Guide crosswords. TV Guide crosswords are considered the easiest crosswords but I don't know. I guess if you know a lot about TV, it would be easy to solve the puzzles quickly.

When I first began making my own publications back in 1998 or whatever, I did three issues of a word search title. Like everything else I've done, I made zero dollars from it.

Monday, September 17, 2018

Are They On First?

I understand what Brutus is saying (The problem is in production but production isn't the problem, it's this person and they will be able to tell us why.) but why does he have that look on his face?

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Mom's Taxi #3


A tyrannosaurus rex was still an imposing force just like in museums. The feathers made a red and orange pattern on the T-Rex. It was still odd seeing feathers on the dinosaurs instead of leathery reptilian skin. Lindsay was speeding across the prairie attempting to put as much distance as she could between the car and the T-Rex. For whatever reason, the T-Rex had fixated on the car, probably because it was different, and was chasing the girls and getting closer with each step.

Out of the corner of her eyes, Lindsay saw something moving next to the car. She glanced over and saw a woman riding a sabretooth tiger. The woman but shouting but Lindsay couldn’t hear her. Lindsay rolled her window down.

“Follow me to safety,” the woman hollered. The tiger began going faster than the car. Lindsay shrugged and began following the woman and tiger.

The crossed the prairie and into the foothills of the rocky area below the mountains. They veered around rocks and went into a cave. The T-Rex was nowhere to be seen or heard. Lindsay parked, shut off the car, and got out. “Stay here,” she looked at all the girls. Lindsay got out, with her hands up, and slowly approached the woman on the tiger who looked barely older than Georgia’s sister, Audrey. “Thank you for helping us.”

The woman raised her hands the same way. “You are welcome. You are not from here, are you?”

Lindsay got the hint that she was being mocked and put her hands down. “No. I’m not even sure how we got here. We were just driving and ended up here.”

“Where is ‘here’?” Maddie asked as she, Brooklyn, Georgia, and Karmen got out of the car.

“Girls, I said to stay in the car,” Lindsay chided.

“I am Samar. This is Kaa,” she hopped off the tiger and softly patted it. “You are safe with us.”

“That’s good. I’m Lindsay.”

“Lin-see,” Samar repeated. “And the girl cubs?”

“These two are my children, Brooklyn and Karmen. The other two are Georgia and Maddy, the daughters of friends,” Lindsay explained. “Are you the only one around here that is like us?” Lindsay asked.

Samar nodded.




Christine didn’t know how John could sleep so soundly. Their daughter was missing. Four kids were missing. And a friend. The friend may have done something to the kids. It was all too much to Christine. She got out of bed and went to the living room. She collapsed on a couch and got out her phone. She opened her text messages and went to Michael’s. His last text to her was kissy-face emoji.

She wrote a text to him and sent it. It took nearly five minutes before he responded back. They had a good back and forth for nearly half an hour. Audrey came downstairs and gasped when she saw her mother sitting on the couch.

“Oh, God. You scared me,” Audrey said, catching her breath and trying to add a chuckle to her voice.

“Sorry. What are you doing up? Thinking about Georgia?” Christine asked.

“Not really,” Audrey said. “Nothing against the seriousness of Georgia’s disappearance but I have my own problems.”

“Like what?” Christine asked.

“I…” Audrey began. This was the perfect chance to tell her mother but it was more than just telling her. It required an in-depth conversation on whether or not she wanted to keep it and the pros and cons of every little decision. Was that a conversation she wanted to have at one in the morning? But what could be as important to distract from Georgia? “I’m pregnant,” she blurted out.

Christine sat her phone down. “What?”

“Josue and I started having sex back around Thanksgiving. I haven’t had a period since February and the pregnancy test I took was positive,” Audrey quickly checkmarked.

Christine never liked Josue. Call it racism if you wanted, she thought to herself, but Josue was lazy, got terrible grades, was still too childish, and always seemed to put Audrey--anyone, actually--after himself. “Does Josue know?”

Audrey nodded. “He’s been very positive about it. He wants to be in our lives.”

“So you are keeping it? Have you thought about your options?”

“Yes, I think I know what I want to do.”

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” Christine huffed. “Go back to bed.”

“I came down for a drink,” Audrey said.

“Then get your drink and get back to bed.”

When Christine was alone again after a few minutes, she looked at her phone. Michael was talking about what he wanted to do to her and had described in loving detail what Christine felt like when he was inside her. Christine smiled and texted back that she’d be over first thing in the morning.




Samar had caught and was now cooking three squirrel-like animals over an open fire. Lindsay had some snacks--granola bars, oatmeal cream pies, cheese crackers--in the back of the car along with bottles of water.

“You didn’t have to cook for us, Samar,” Lindsay said. “We could’ve eaten our game food.”

“You need meat,” Samar said. “It’ll be nice to have more company than Kaa.” The tiger lifted his head at the sound of his name.

“Can you help us get home?” Georgia asked Samar, sneering at the cooking squirrels.

Samar shrugged. “I can help but I don’t know how.”

“Is there anyone who may know how to help?” Georgia snapped.

“Georgia,” Lindsay scolded. “If we don’t know what happened to us then why would Samar? Also, we’re Samar’s guest so be polite.”

“I am the only one around here,” Samar began, removing the squirrels from the fire and prepping them to be served. As she spoke, she didn’t look at her visitors. “There is someone who might know. In the town. She’s older. It’s a three-sundown journey though.”

“Three days?” Lindsay looked behind her at the car. “I think we can do better than that.”




“I’m surprised you came over,” Michael said watching a naked Christine get back into bed. “I saw the news this morning.”

Christine covered her eyes and laughed. “Yeah, it’s almost like fate is trying to tell me something.”

“Any ideas on what happened?” Michael asked.

“I don’t know what to think,” Christine said. “I don’t think Lindsay did anything to them so I don’t know what happened.”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Michael leaned over and kissed Christine on her forehead.

Christine’s phone rang. She reached over and answered it. “Hello? Yeah. Uh-huh. Sure. Sure, I’ll head out now,” she hung up and sunk lower into the bed.

“What’s up?”

“I lied to the police yesterday. I told them I was at the store when Georgia was with Lindsay when I was really screwing around with you.”

“Seriously?”

“My husband was standing right there and there was more fish to fry besides my infidelity,” Christine got out of bed and began picking up her clothes. “Where are my socks?”

“I thought you came over in flip flops,” Michael said.

“Yes, I did,” Christine exhaled loudly. “I am exhausted. Hopefully this will all be resolved quickly.”

“I hope so, too. I’ll see you later.”

Christine leaned back and kissed Michael passionately. “Yeah,” she pulled away. “See you.”

Grove


Silver Lake Township in Shawnee County, Kansas, used to stretch from the Kansas River to Jackson County--a full 11 miles. In 1918, county commissioners approved splitting Silver Lake Township. The southern portion, the southern 5 miles, was now going to be Silver Lake Township while the northern portion, the remaining 6 miles, was to become Grove Township. According to reports in newspapers in Rossville and Silver Lake, the split was due to road maintenance.

There are no communities in Grove Township and what communities there were have long since disappeared. The earliest was Swinburn which was never in Grove Township but in Silver Lake Township. A post office operated from 1896 until 1901. It was never a town but had three livery stables, a blacksmith, and grocer. Swinburn, at least the post office, was located near present-day 78th and Hoch Road. In 1905, the town of Grove was established as a stop along the newly complete Union Pacific side track to Marysville in Marshall County, was completed. Grove was to be a major shipping area for the area which probably helped garner support for the township split.

A township hall was constructed shortly after the split and at its peak in 1920, Grove consisted of a grocer, a depot, a grange, and a bank--the Grove State Bank--that only lasted three years. A small community still exists around Grove and the township has a brand new township hall that also houses a volunteer fire department. Grove was located along Tibbs Road between 66th and 70th Street. The last community was Doel, located a quarter mile of Grove, at present-day 70th and Tibbs Road. Doel shows up in a 1921 atlas but not much more is known about it. Neither Grove or Doel had post offices.

Today, Grove Township is a quiet portion of Shawnee County. The nearest towns are Silver Lake to the south and Rossville to the west and Grove Township is the rare Shawnee County township that the suburban sprawl of Topeka doesn't reach. There are rolling hills and beautiful creek valleys making Grove Township one of the most natural and scenic areas of Shawnee County.

The railroad tracks at 66th & Tibbs where Grove was located.

The Soldier Creek Marsh Arch Bridge at 70th & Valencia. Built in 1922.
The view of Soldier Creek from the bridge.

A view of Grove Township from Docking Road south of 70th Street. 
66th & Hoch with a sign that points the way to Grove Township Hall & Fire Station.


Oh, God. Here it is. Yet another public education "teacher" indoctrinating our children about the lies of the environment and climate change. This is why they don't deserve higher wages. When they stop shoving their liberal agenda down our throats and start letting the kids pray again, then I'll be on their side!

There. I just posted your complete troll diatribe so now you don't have to on the comments section of today's strip. FYI, my carbon footprints is between 13 and 15 depending on the shoe manufacturer.

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