Monday, October 16, 2017

Golf Carts Aren't Street Legal


Well, luckily, there is another that you can pass him on. I understand the frustration of people driving slow in the passing lane (frustrating and, in some states, illegal) but zoom by them in the driving lane. Or follow along behind them with barely six inches of space between the bumpers. Call police dispatch and give them their description and license plate number. I'm sure the cops have nothing better to do.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Tutorforce


To Gladys, there is shame in it. Good to know.

I went through my back posts to see if Miss Crabtree was the name of Wilberforce's and Hattie's teacher. Their teacher is normally named Miss Preen so is this a new teacher, did Miss Preen leave? Did Chip forget her name and just replace it with Crabtree because that's what teachers are usually named?

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Supercomics #6


“They refused my $25 million offer? That’s twice what it’s worth,” Arthur Bullock said into the phone. “Did you inquire about the property across the street? Good. Only $5 million? Buy it and build something that will block the ocean view. They won’t take $25 million then we’ll make them beg for a quarter of that.” Arthur hung up and began working on papers on his desk.

The spaceship appeared over New York City out of nowhere. Once it appeared, it blasted the Empire State Building. People on the street began screaming and running in different directions. Arthur, whose building was only a few blocks from Empire State, heard and felt what happened. Arthur went to the window, saw the alien ship then ran back to his desk and picked up the phone.

“Ms. Penny, hold my calls and appointments. I’m going to the pool,” he said.

“Yes, sir,” Ms. Penny answered.

Arthur hung up and went over to a window in the wall that looked like an aquarium. He opened a secret door in the wall, removed his suit and jumped into the water. He swam down the entire height of the building and when he emerged on the street, he was garbed in a red scaled suit with green pants that had a red stripe on the outside of each leg. Arthur then looked at the ship in the sky then lept up toward it.




“We have something going on in New York,” Agent Spider reported, looking at the monitors.

“What’s going on?” Superkitten asked quickly since her mom and best friend were still there.

“Some kind of alien ship,” Spider said.

“In New York?” Dmitri confirmed. “Keep monitoring the situation. Maybe Red Fish can handle it.”

“Red Fish?” Superkitten questioned.

“You may know him as Arthur Bullock,” Spider said.

“That jackass has superpowers? He once wanted to buy my entire block. He bribed someone at the water department to shut off everyone’s water. He was found out but that didn’t stop him. He just hired a demolition crew to demolish a building with people still living in it claiming it was an accident,” Superkitten revealed.

“Really?” Agent Spider asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Superkitten answered. “And his track record with minorities is deplorable. Charging higher rents as ‘security’ or outright denying housing. He would hire people to keep tabs on his property and routinely purchase dilapidated properties in poor neighborhoods, fix up the buildings, then charge exorbitant rent just to raise surrounding property values even if it meant his building stayed empty.”

“He’s just trying to live the American Dream,” America said.

“The American Dream includes being a dick to people who have less than you?” Superkitten asked. “You’re African American. I’d think you would have compassion for your fellow man.”

“I do. When they try and work as hard as I have. If they can’t pay the rent that Arthur Bullock asks then look for something cheaper or work harder,” America explained.

“A lot of these people are working as hard as they can--sometimes harder,” she took a step toward America.

“Sure. At dealing drugs. At grifting the system. At raping and killing little girls like you.”

“And he’s supposed to be representative of the American ideal?” she turned to Agent Spider.

“It actually makes sense when you think about it,” he said.

“It’s just a name chosen based on costume design. I’ve never said that I represent America,” America said. “I’m gonna step away now.”

“I can’t believe that there are still people like that,” Superkitten said.

“I’m guessing that the honeymoon is over?” Agent Spider asked, commenting on the romance that Superkitten and America found themselves in shortly after she arrived despite her being underage and half America’s age.

“We were just having fun,” Superkitten huffed, collapsing into a chair. “We both know what was going on and knew the consequences. Ugh,” she shuddered and made a face. “How’s Red Fish doing?”




Back in New York, metallic tentacles had come out of the ship to fend off Red Fish. It at least wasn’t shooting at the buildings anymore. As long as Red Fish was wet, his powers worked. Super strength, invulnerability, the ability to leap ⅓ of a mile, all made him one of the most powerful people in the world. If he didn’t have to remain wet, he could’ve ruled the world. Luckily, he was able to make money without having to use his powers.

He could feel himself drying up so he wanted to finish this quickly. He focused his attention on the tentacles. He grabbed a tentacle and began pulling, hoping to pull it out or drag the ship down. A sharp pain then erupted in his side.

“Leave us alone,” an older woman, holding some sort of glowing trident, hovering right next to Red Fish, said. “You can’t stop us. Many have tried.”

Red Fish felt dizzy--lack of blood? He saw the old woman with the glowing trident, his blood staining the tips. “Who…?”

“I am Rodham. Kon’s Army have traversed this universe conquering numerous worlds. This one is next,” Rodham cackled.

“Over...my dead body…” Red Fish said woozily before passing out.

“That can be arranged,” Rodham said, taking Red Fish with her aboard the ship.




“We need to head out,” Agent Spider said, getting out of the chair in the monitoring room. “I’ll get the ship going, you grab the others,” he told Superkitten.

Aboard the ship, Red Fish, still unconscious, was hooked up to some wires in some sort of capsule. Earth was the fifth planet Kon’s Army had visited. The first four were now uninhabitable wastelands.

Kon was a tall and gangly Daxote. Though not personally dangerous, Kon was a brilliant leader and was easily able to turn these three individuals into well-oiled killing machines. Rodham was an old school warrior from a planet of warrior women. Rodham chose to join Kon after her people chose to live a more peaceful existence. They will learn the error of their decision soon. Grunge was pure muscle and loyal like a dog. He was specifically bred on his home planet to be a killer like all males on his planet. He was then sold to Kon like all the males that aren’t kept for breeding.

The fourth member of the Army was newly acquired. Plucked from a dead alternate universe, he was faster than an argon ray, more powerful than Grunge, able to leap the United Federation of Planets building in a single bound. Standing behind Kon as Rodham and Grunge came in, the newest member was garbed in his symbolic blue uniform and flowing red cape. The red pentagonal S-shield on his chest seemed to radiate from the blue.

“He was easy to dispose of,” Rodham said. “They have other warriors.”

“We can easily take care of them. We have Grunge and Supercat,” Kon said and rubbed his mustache.

Money, Money, Money, Money...Money


Well, you have to have money in order to hear it talk so of course you can't hear it. Every time you're over we have to hear you complain about how you can't afford your medicines or doctor's appointments because you didn't plan accordingly for your retirement.

Happy 65th

As I do, it's Harry Anderson's birthday once again so happy birthday to Night Court and Dave's World star, Harry Anderson. To celebrate, here are screen stills of the "Starring Harry Anderson" parts of the Night Court opening credits from seasons 1, 2, 5, 7, and 8, each season his title card changed.






Friday, October 13, 2017

Work Thoughts


Darn. I was hoping for part three of the kale dinner storyline.

I think during my commute to work as well. "Do I still have time to call in?" "Maybe there will be a huge traffic jam somehow and I can't get through." "What would happen if I just kept driving?" Is that a dead body? I should pull over and see." "What? I'm already here? How'd that happen?"

Thursday, October 12, 2017

And the Refrigerator Does That Now


Any idiot can follow a recipe so I don't understand those people that are all "I'm no Master Chef but..." Well, I'm no Master Chef either but I can coat a piece a chicken with five different spices and throw it in the oven. Honestly, just follow the recipe and you'll be fine. You won't win any television food competitions but hey, neither did Guy Fieri and look at him!

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Kale


A way I'll love it? Seems like a waste to make something I like and then just throw the kale away but whatever.