Saturday, June 25, 2016

Rio Grande River Is Redundant--You Should Know That


The New Adventure of Queen Victoria
I was confused about this strip but thankfully, someone in the comments pointed out that this is reference to a GoFundMe that Pab Sungenis has started to help pay his medical bills. If you would like to contribute, you can go here.

Mark Trail
For some reason, I've been following this stupid Mark-Trail-trapped-in-a-cave storyline and it seems we may be almost done. Now, I've let a lot slide in this story from Mark being able to hold his breath for several minutes underwater and his companions being able to show up exactly where Mark is quicker than Mark did but I refuse to believe that they are in a river that is, at most, only 4 miles across.

And how are they supposed to know which way is north? Does Mark have a compass? I'd say they could just use the flow but that river looks pretty still. Honestly, this comic strip is sometimes so irresponsible.

panel from Ripley's Believe It Or Not
Not even Ripley's Believe It Or Not can leave poor Pluto and his slow punk-ass alone.

Beetle Bailey
We've seen the Halftracks really go at it in this comic strip but this is the most disturbing. I can picture Martha actively making sure not to get pregnant by her husband by any means necessary. Lying about birth control, sneaking out for morning-after pills, and, worst of all, taking "vacations" to have dangerous back-alley abortions so as not to leave a paper trail. Meanwhile, Amos sits next to her, depressed that he is has no offspring and has, in his mind, failed his wife as a man for not giving her any children for her to dote on. Ha! Marriage!

Friday, June 24, 2016

Maybe Arlo Was Attacked By a Serial Hugger, He Does Look In Shock

The absence of motion lines makes this panel even weirder. Not as weird as some of the other stuff going on in Heathcliff but fairly weird.

Arlo & Janis
Arlo just spends his day wandering around the city and randomly hugging people. Don't worry. It's perfectly normal when done right.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Funky Winkerbean
FYI, Funky Winkerbean has been talking about adding the letter 'E' to a name for the last four days. Tom Batiuk gets paid for this!!

When B.C. is making fun of your online tactics, then maybe it's time to restrategize.

Family Circus
*Thel comes into the house disshelved, dirty with mud and grass stains, carrying mud covered dry cleaning bags*

Bil: "Oh my God, Thel, what happened?"

Thel: "I had a close call..."

*hearing a pun, Billy jumps up and runs off to draw this cartoon*

Thel: "...A car jumped the curb nearly hitting me. Thank God, I jumped out of the way fast enough. My heart's never beat so fast."

My Cage
"Roseanne" really down after about the fourth season. The last season, despite the explanation in the series finale, is just unwatchable.

Touche, Marvin. Touche.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Mary Shirks Away from Wilbur's Touch

Beetle Bailey
Not too long ago, I got a letter with postage due. I didn't even think that was a real thing anymore. I can't even remember what the mail was but I spent a good three minutes running around the house looking for $2.36 in cash while the mailman just stood at my door as my dogs barked at him.

"That's 'no' as in N-O, not K-N-O-W. This joke works because we're in a visual medium but me just saying 'no' at you doesn't really work. Anyway, vote for Belfry!"

Mary Worth
Going to Japan to interview earthquake victims. Going to Thailand to...attend a convention. Tomato, tomahto.

Also, was there any doubt that Mary would take over "Ask Wendy"? It's like asking a cat "Are you going to be a selfish tool today?" Of course it is and of course Mary will.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

No Matter How Dystopic the Story Is There Is Always Room for Sex

Baby Blues
You don't have to worry about boys getting handsy with your daughter if you raise her to have self esteem, assertiveness, are a good role model, and talk to her about sex and relationships. But I guess ripping pages out of a book is a good idea, too.

Mary Worth
YAAAASSS!!! Mary Worth inserting herself into the private lives of the people who write into Wilbur's stupid advice column. Meanwhile, Wilbur is off on his yearly stint at The Santa Royale Rehabilitation Center.

Monday, June 20, 2016

Probably Something to Do With Crayons

Wee Pals
Just here to point out that Morrie forgot to shade Mikki's hand in this strip five years ago and no one has thought to correct it.

Sunday, June 19, 2016

Existentialist Leroy

I'm confused why we don't see him ask for the Mercedes. Was there not a way to have him ask and still have the joke?

"Well, I was upset that we didn't order any pizza but now I'm worried about your hearing considering you didn't hear the loud knocking, the delivery driver yell 'pizza delivery' and 'wrong address', or my barking."

The Lockhorns
I love Leroy's friend: "You make some good points, Leroy. Do you have a Twitter or should I just give you my email?"

Saturday, June 18, 2016


How come only Jeff is being punished. Someone came to him and asked him to sign those purchases. There should be at least two people getting fired and maybe investigated for fraud.

Hagar the Horrible
I like this guy. I hope we see more of him.

Slylock Fox and Comics for Kids
I hate generic knock-offs of popular corporate animations.

The Lockhorns
Someone had finally had enough and stabbed one of those awful manspreaders in the leg with a fork. How much do you want to bet that it was Loretta and they were in their own car?

Nope. Still only two. There are still only two choices for restrooms. Not a difficult choice to make.