This Carpet Was Due for a Good Sweeping

November 12, 1977

Why are we spelling things? Is this the social studies part of third grade? 'Washington' isn't a word you put on a spelling test. Seriously, what are we talking about. Wilberforce is right to question.

Oh, so now we're going to be shown how hard Gladys works at home which is why she can't do anything and has to make Brutus do it. I don't buy it. Anyone can just put on a headband, and you call that a dustpan?

Brutus Hasn't Had a Deep Thought In Years

November 8, 1977

Grampa McGuigan. You got a problem with that?

Now, what I want to know is is he actually named 'Grampa' or is he named 'Chester' and his family just jokingly calls him 'Grampa'?

I think it's weird that being named Grampa is slightly more normal than being named Wilberforce.

I don't know why you would want Brutus' opinion on designs. Maybe Veeblefester is just being...I don't want to say 'nice'. Veeblefester even knows asking Brutus will be a waste of time. "And?" he growls as he stares daggers at Brutus.

That Doesn't Look Like a Monstera Plant...

November 7, 1977

Hattie's pet skunk is allowed to be in people's houses? I wish I had a pet skunk. I wish the pet skunk was still around.

Covering her mouth isn't necessarily going to make the sneezes quieter. My sneezes can be just as deafening whether or not I cover my mouth.

I like that more people are doing this. I don't really want to take care of a plant, but I want one around. I can't wait until we start getting doomsaying articles about how the fake plant industry is killing ourselves, the planet, whatever, in a couple years.

Tire Fire

October 31, 1977

This is why I just don't give people money. I'm not gonna loan you money but I will support you through goods and services.

Being scammed was at least cheaper back then.

I've never bought snow tires so I can't comment on this. We've also had the most snow for a November in 135 years so if Brutus lived here, he'd be too late.

Even God Rested...

April 19, 1986

I have to admit that I like how snarky Art was toward church and the parson here. I'm sure most of the unfortunate would like to reverse their direction. Sadly, attending a church service, meditating, or singing a hymn doesn't help with that. You know what does? Money.

Can't a person just have one freaking day off? That's one thing I hate about life: I work all week and then I still have to come home and do more work--whether it's dishes, cooking, cleaning. I have a right to have a least one day where I don't have to do anymore work. And Gladys is home all day? Is there a reason she needs help? You couldn't ask him for help on Thursday, Friday, or Saturday? Because it was a holiday week, remember.

Ugh. This strip is angering up the blood.

I plan on getting back into history/comics/stories in December. If you would like to support my writing, research, or just this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee on Ko-fi.

Is There a Different Topping On Each Piece?

October 29, 1977

Wasn't coffee up to about fifteen cents or even a quarter by 1978? It may have still been a dime in some places.

Over Thanksgiving, my mother-in-law was talking about her run-in with some unhoused people in the park. When she mentioned one of them, my son, who works at a convenience store, replied "Oh, I know him." Small world, isn't it?

Baked potato pizza is a thing. Turkey on pizza shouldn't be too weird. I am a bit weirded out by the what looks like carrots and peas on the pizza. Those don't belong on a pizza.

You son of a bitch!

Via Reddit

There are plenty of Thanksgiving leftover pizza recipes online so get to cookin'!

Black Friday '23

October 19, 1977

Let's be honest, Hattie's mom probably "lost" her so she could have a few minutes alone. Or, Hattie "lost" herself so she could get free ice cream. Hattie's not worried. She'll be fine. She'll survive.

None of us ever had to deal with bumper-to-bumper traffic, full parking lots, shoulder-to-shoulder crowds, or battles for sales items. We did it to ourselves. We played ourselves and capitalism won.

Gladys misses elbowing other people in the face. I mean, she could just elbow people in the face whenever. The way the world is going, I wouldn't be surprised.

Mother Gargle Doesn't Like Fun

October 11, 1977

Then why am I paying you?

It's funny (depressing) that no matter what scenario you imagine to make an insurance company terrible, no one is surprised and an insurance company has probably tried it.

It's only a 7 hour drive, Brutus. But it's like celebrating the new year in Time Square, I'm sure the occasion is nice but I don't want to deal with the crowds. I'll just watch on my TV thank you very much.

H a p p y     T h a n k s g i v i n g

Big Dinner? It's 4, Maybe 5 People

October 5, 1977

What does losing weight have to do with going to England? Because food portions are smaller? Because England is more walkable? Because you went to the ruins of castle and the stairs to the tower collapsed, trapping you without food for four days?

Yes, sir! It's great that we're doing this the Wednesday--Wednesday?!!--before Thanksgiving. This is the best idea we've had in a long time. Perfect. No notes.

You Just Leave That Creamer Out All Day?

August 23, 1977

I cannot play chess. I don't know how. And even if you tell me how to play as I'm playing it, I still wouldn't be any good at it. I never understand why people who are bad at chess always want to play. I don't play games unless I have reasonable assurance that I will win.

And that move was just putting his arm around her.

All right, calm down. I'm just talking about how I enjoy this time of year. No need to go on a "I'm rich, I hate spending money" rant. You're the reason we talk about eating the rich.

Chivalry Is Dead

As you can see from my About Page and LinkTree, I am on just about every other social media company out there. Feel free to follow me on your preferred network or all of them. And, if you or someone you know would like a BlueSky invite code, I have an overabundance of them. Email or hit me up on social if you want to grab one.

Now, onto comics.

August 16, 1977

Hit him with the coffeepot, Brutus!!

When did Brutus loan him the money? I personally wouldn't have but I never believe I'm going to get paid back and am too introverted to come out and ask for it back. If it's been more than a month, this guy's a jerk.

He doesn't even look trustworthy so this is probably all on Brutus.

If my wife and I rarely fought then I would maybe apologize even if she was the one who was wrong but Brutus and Gladys fight all the damn time so, no, Brutus shouldn't apologize. And he shouldn't wear that undershirt either.

Sagacious Sunday

April 13, 1986

What's wrong with this guy? He works at a grocery store but doesn't know what thyme is? Does he also pronounce it as 'th-ime'?

Just find the seasoning and spice aisle, Brutus. You don't need to talk to people to find those.

I bet Art really chuckled at himself when he came up with this.

It took until late November but Brutus is finally trotting out a word from his word-a-day calendar he got last Christmas.

"You just suppose so?" With those bedroom eyes? Not anymore!

Saturday Quickies

August 4, 1977

Not from some guy on the street. You're a terrible salesman! I'll take three.

Why are you buying from the meat counter? You can just take a few steps to the left and buy a pound of ground round for about $2-3 cheaper.

Marriage Counseling

July 19, 1977

I've only seen Brutus wearing glasses when he's going over the budget so his eyes must be mostly fine, he's just being an ass here.

Ha, ha! Marriage is awful! Amirite, fellas?

Why Is Mother Gargle Attacking Me Like This?

I stopped being on Twitter back on October 1st. I said I was taking a break and just haven't returned and probably won't. I have deleted most people I followed on there and locked my account so there's no incentive to go back. I did post one update offering up some BlueSky codes. I still have some if you want one, just reach out to me at one of my many social networking sites.

I have been getting back into writing over the last couple of months, and I would like to start posting them somewhere. I would also like to start making even a little money from writing. As soon as I figure out how and where to do that, I'll let you know. But you came here for The Born Loser so let's get at it.

June 11, 1977

Brutus Thornapple's Putting Challenge.

Where is Brutus? A golf course? A park? Just a field by his house? How big is his yard?

I don't know why Brutus has to be grinning like an idiot but Mother Gargle, and I mean this with my entire being and apologize for the profanity, can eat my whole ass and die.

Wednesday Quickies

June 4, 1977

Ok, that's great. Just mop the floor, Agnes.

I'm sure Agnes is a fine housekeeper, but the smoking would bother me. I know it's the '70s and smoking was still healthy but still...

What about the nine(?) hairs around his head? Do they have more body and sheen, too?

Is Brutus just looking at himself in the mirror and smiling? Cut that out!

I Don't Care About the Born Loser Timeline--Brutus Still Went to College In the 50s.

May 3, 1977

Brutus said he had a yeast infection. I get that you could maybe get in to see a doctor easier back in 1977 but Gladys couldn't push her bridge club back a couple of hours?

With the rise of satellite radio and streaming services, I've been hearing songs I've grown up with as muzak for years. And don't get me started on commercials.

The problem with newspaper comics is that they all sooner or later rely on Pluggers humor.

At Least It's Only $1000

If Brian goes offline for 4 to 11 days, does anyone even notice?

I got quite a bit of writing done and since no one really seems to notice my absence on here, I should really just focus on that. Anyway, let's get on to today's comics. They're probably great.

April 18, 1977 

It's not even raining. Dome umbrellas look stupid but they are very practical because they also protect your shoulders unlike a regular umbrellas which don't protect your upper body and sends the water down your back.

And unlike the gutter bumbershoot which just shoots
the rain down your shoes.

Not even raining...

In his final role before passing away back on January 29 of 2022, Howard Hesseman reprises his role as Dr. Johnny Fever from WKRP In Cincinnati. "Booger!!"

The thing is, a lot of these robocalls do leave a message--whether it's a ship horn and a dumb cruise offer, or a Chinese lady screaming at you, or the amazing squeal of a modem, they'll leave a "message" and get you all hopeful that someone does want to talk to you but no one does. No one wants to talk to you.

People aren't calling you to give you money. Unless that money is shoved in some dog poo.

Trout Pout

March 14, 1977

Mother Gargle is awful which makes me kind of glad that Gladys' father is dead. No offense, Gladys.

I do not like how this waiter looks like Brutus in the second panel. Honestly, I do not like anything about this waiter's character design.

I will be taking a break. If you wish to continue reading my stuff, check me out on all the social media.

Candy Thief

March 9, 1977

"I'm ashamed of you" are pretty harsh words coming from a teacher. Instead of getting after Wilberforce, how about you figure out why everyone else was able to pass but Wilberforce wasn't. I mean, we all know why he didn't pass--it's Wilberforce.

"Don't worry! I've already posted to Nextdoor and a couple of Police Scanner Facebook Groups. We'll catch this son of a bitch!"

I don't know how much candy Wilberforce got this Halloween, but it's the day after Halloween, Gladys. Show some damn restraint.