Sunday, June 10, 2012

Up and To the Left

Why does Brutus constantly need his wife's love and forgiveness? That Gladys doesn't even know what she is upset about anymore means Brutus doesn't need to apologize because he doesn't know why Gladys was mad except that it's part of her post-menopausal mood swings.

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Just Because You Said "Yummy" Doesn't Make It So

I don't care what you stuff in those peppers, stuffed peppers suck and while I'm sure they exist, 9-year-olds who like them are in the minority. Even before I read the second panel I, too, uttered the words "Aw, rats!"

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Cocoa Butter

Well, at least we've finally figured out why Brutus is so unhealthy and only days from death. He drinks suntan lotion and, presumably, any type of flavored lotion.

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

My Old Gimp Knee Isn't Akimbo Anymore

So the morning after every joint and muscle in your body decided to just live in harmony for at least one day is a cause for alarm? Ugh, I am not even going to respond to this except to say that there is a lot of ugly in this kitchen this morning.

Monday, June 04, 2012

Just Say Stomach

I would grow a beard but it comes in all patchy and it comes in blond so you can't see it until it gets to a certain length and then, I swear, it just stops growing and becomes a scratchy and itchy genetic mockery on my face. O, cruel Beard Gods! Why do you mock me!?!

Sunday, June 03, 2012


Yes, truffles are a fancy type of mushroom but it is also the name of an obscure Peanuts character introduced in 1975. I'd rather do a report on that.

Saturday, June 02, 2012

Learning Way Too Much About Baseball Today

How does this happen? Because I'm pretty sure if you get hit by a ball in baseball, even if you take a swing, it's a bean and you get to take a base. A quick Google search led me to the Hit By Pitch rules, one of which includes:
The ball touches the batter in the strike zone. Example: Batter is fooled by a curve ball and ducks. He is hit in the head, but his head is over the plate and in the strike zone. The correct call is a strike.
I can only assume that is what happened in this scenario.

Friday, June 01, 2012

You Better Be Dead Or I'll Kill You

Before we get to today's Born Loser comic, here is a small snippet of "Superkitten" over at our new blog, 87. Enjoy.

Alix, as her new identity of Superkitten, stood atop a warehouse with Geo-Whiz, an older boy with a red and black skintight uniform and a billowing black and white cape. Superkitten kept looking over at Geo-Whiz and then, finally, giggled.

“What’s up?” Geo-Whiz asked, not taking his eyes off the building across the street.

“Why are you wearing a cape?” Superkitten asked.

“I think capes look cool. All the cool superheroes wear capes. Superman, Batman, Captain Marvel. Magneto wears a cape,” Geo-Whiz explained.

“Okay. On a scale of one to ten, how much of a dork are you?” she laughed.

“Very funny,” Geo-Whiz smiled. He then extended his gloved hand toward her. “I’m Brandon Taggert.”

She accepted his hand and smiled. “Alix Kincaid. What’s your story?”

“I graduated college at 13 and you’d be surprised at how many companies are not willing to hire a 13-year-old—labor laws and all. So at 14, I began a series of low wage jobs and then when I was 18, companies still wouldn’t hire me. I found out around that time I had geokinesis but I hardly used it and kept it to myself. I was working a dead end customer service job when Dmitri approached me and offered this to me,” Geo-Whiz said. “You?”

“I killed someone,” Superkitten smiled.

For more, click here.

Brutus, who else in your house would answer your phone in a Jane Lynch voice? I'm also bothered by the horribly worded last word balloon. I'm triply bothered by Gladys sudden anger at her husband who she was originally worried about.