Thursday, January 31, 2019

He Yam What He Yam

Getting this tribute to Popeye just in under the wire, aren't you Chip?

Popeye, as we all know, originally starred in E.C. Segar's Thimble Theatre which started in 1919 and originally starred Harold Hamgravy and his girlfriend Olive Oyl. Popeye first appeared January 17, 1929 and soon became the strip's star. Thimble Theatre was renamed Popeye in the 1970s. So while we're all honoring Popeye on his 90th, let's all wish Olive Oyl a happy 100th.

Wednesday, January 30, 2019

630

Ah, the things we talk about at the bus stop. Why isn't Brutus carrying a briefcase? He has an umbrella but not a briefcase? What kind of stereotypical worker bee from the 50s and 60s is he?

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

Gonna Take You Back to the Past


"Here's to good old Kansas, the greatest state of them all--the fairest of the fair!"

-George R. Peck, in a toast at the Chicago Kansas Day Club annual dinner, Jan. 28, 1911.


Fifty Years Old
by Walt Mason
Special to the Topeka Daily Capital, Jan. 29, 1911

Through fifty years of striving
She held her upward way;
A thousand woes surviving,
She stand serene today;
No more the settler faces
The empty, silent places;
No more the red man chases
To council or to fray.

Across her woods and waters
No more is heard the drum;
And to her sons and daughters
The boon of peace is come;
Prosperity abounding
Her people is surrounding
And in her mills, resounding,
The wheels and shuttles hum.

And we, whose ways are pleasant,
Whose bosoms bear no scars,
Should look back from the present
To old time woes and wars;
Through threat'ning circumstances,
Through death and deadly chances,
The name and fame of Kansas
Made progress to the stars.

Our mother's natal morning
We greet with smiles and tears,
Her shining brow adorning
With wreaths from all the years;
And then, from incense burning,
Our hearts aglow with yearning,
With tender eyes we're turning,
To bless the pioneers.


I haven't gotten to that point yet every year there seems to be a breaking point with me and the seasons. On a really hot day in the summer, I'll promise not to speak badly of winter and vice versa. I haven't gotten to that point this winter but I am ready for it to warm up so I can do some stuff outside.

By the way, Brutus recording the weather report on August 4th actually happened.
I only wish today's strip used the same first panel words as August 4's.

Monday, January 28, 2019

Working Hard Or...?

I saw an ad on Instagram for a goal and day planner that looked really cool and after I kept thinking about it for a couple days, I wanted to buy it. Problem was, I didn't pay attention to what its name was and I never saw the ad again. Anyway, that's the story of why I didn't get a planner this year. Feel free to contact me over purchasing the movie rights.

Sunday, January 27, 2019

That's Next Week

Randy walked into Room 232 in Schuyler Hall holding a small ripped piece of paper. “Oh, I didn’t know you were going to be here,” he said when he noticed Brittany in the room.

“It’s for an assignment for my psych class,” she answered. “You’re the seventh person to show up so three more and we can begin.”

Brittany had put up fliers asking for ten volunteers to do a sensory deprivation experiment. Each volunteer would $200. “I’m just here for the money,” Randy said.

“So is everyone else,” Brittany shrugged. Three more people came into the room. “Awesome. All ten people. Please have a seat while I explain what we’re doing here.”




“Oy! You!” Dr. Coot came running up to Dewey. “You’re one of Arjon’s friends, aren’t you? The dorky, TV obsessed one?”

“Dewey.”

“Whatever. Administration wants me to change the school mascot and I figured you’d be good at coming up with a good generic mascot…”

“Wildcat, bulldog, tiger, falcon, eagle…”

“But still be unique to Borton.”

“Fox, deer, falcon, eagle…”

“I mean, anything is better than the mascot they have now,” Dr. Coot held up a poster with a Native American in a bright rainbow-colored headdress smoking a cigar and holding an axe in one hand and a jug of alcohol in the other. BORTON was above the Native and SAVAGES was underneath.

“I’m not seeing the issue with it,” Dewey snarked.

“I’m shocked our school hasn’t been burned down to be honest,” Dr. Coot said.




Volunteers had to spend an hour in the sensory deprivation tanks and then talk to Brittany about what they thought about while in the tank and how they felt. Randy laid in the tank and stared at the back of the door above him. Since it was dark, he couldn’t actually see anything. It was also deathly silent.

I’m horny, he thought. Actually, I’d rather just have a girlfriend. I miss having a girlfriend. How can I miss having what I’ve only had one of? I wonder how Elizabeth is doing. Her kid would be about six months old now. When did we break up? March? She got pregnant in April? May? Randy’s eyes went wide. What if it’s mine? I know she slept with what’s-his-name, like, right after we broke up. What if it’s mine and not what’s-his-name? I could be a father. I should look Elizabeth up when I get out of here. He smiled--at least, he thought he smiled. I should’ve peed before getting in here. I’ve never had to pee so bad in my life. I… Randy almost seemed to see something. “Dad?” he asked out loud.




“We have a problem,” one of the deans came into the workspace Dewey and Dr. Coot were using. “The College can’t actually afford to change anything at this moment. So the changes you make to the mascot has to be done on the cheap for merchandising.”

“So basically you just want us to be able to slap a sticker on a hat, shirt, or poster and call it good?” Dewey asked.

“Yeah.”

Dr. Coot slid all their work into a nearby trash can.

“Don’t worry, I got another idea,” Dewey winked.




“So what did you experience? What were you thinking about while in there?” Brittany asked Randy after his time in the tank was done.

“How much I had to pee mostly,” he said.

“Oh,” she hung her head.

“But I do think I saw my dad.”

“Really?” she perked up.

“Well, I never knew my dad but what I saw looked like Ted Danson and that’s who I always imagined my dad being.”

“Really? Why?”

Randy shrugged. “I watched a lot of Cheers and Becker reruns while growing up,” Brittany sighed and wrote down what Randy said. He held out his hand. “Money, please.”




“Presenting...the brand new, cost-effective mascot for the Borton College Savages,” Dewey announced. Dr. Coot turned a bulletin board around to show the administration their prized work.

“Is that…?”

“Yes, the star of The Wonder Years and The Princess Bride, Fred Savage,” Dr. Coot responded.

“We just printed the head of Fred Savage onto a piece of paper and taped it over the Native American head. It’s cheap. It’s effective. And we’re still the Savages,” Dewey said.

“But Dewey? What if I’m not a fan of Fred Savage?” Dr. Coot asked.

“Then you are probably an alien pretending to be human,” Dewey laughed. “But, if for some reason, that actually happened then we have this,” Dewey held up another bulletin board. “The Borton College Savages featuring Boy Meets World star and brother to Fred, Ben Savage.”

“Perfect. Let’s get the print shop on this right away so the student store employees can start slapping some stickers on stuff. Great job, Dr. Coot. Dewey.”   ▇

Isn't the Super Bowl next week? Ah, who cares?

I went through my archives because I found the notion that Gladys has never watched the Super Bowl to be a blatant lie and none of the comics that would've posted on Super Bowl Sunday are about the game or even watching the game. You got me this time, The Born Loser. You got me this time.

If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a coffee over on Ko-Fi. No commitment or subscription required.

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Tank N Tummy #11

Ryan got to the Tank N Tummy and went to the back office and clocked in. There was a man sitting at a desk who waved and nodded to Ryan. “Hey, I’m Ned, the new day shift manager,” he introduced.

“Hi, Ned, I’m Ryan.” Ryan left the office and went to the beverage area to make sure everything was filled and ready to go.

Dominic came into the Tank N Tummy and went to the back office to clock in. He waved briefly at Ryan as he walked by. Ned was still sitting at the desk as Dominic clocked in. He waved and nodded to Dominic. “Hey, I’m Ned, the new day shift manager,” he introduced.

“Hi, Ned. I’m Dominic,” Dominic left the office and went to the beverage area where Ryan was rinsing out a coffee pot in order to make more. “New day shift manager?” Dominic pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

“I know. I thought you were the day shift manager.”

“I thought you were.”

“Well, it’s one of us. Certainly not that guy.”

Ned came out of the office and walked up to Dominic and Ryan. “Hey, I just want to talk to you about this day shift manager stuff. I know it’s probably awkward since you’ve both been here so long but I’m willing to listen to you and feel free to ask me things or give advice. I’ll take all the help I can get,” Ned chuckled and turned to go back in the office.

“He seems nice,” Ryan said.

“We have to get him fired,” Dominic replied.

“Harvey doesn’t fire anyone. I’m pretty sure that guy who stole an entire tanker truck full of gas is still on the schedule.”

“We don’t have to get him fired, just demoted.”

“Let me know how that goes.”

“You never support me and my devious plans.”

“Probably because your devious plans always backfire.”

“That was only one time.”

“One time is all it takes,” Ryan exclaimed.

“Whassup, sluts?” MaryJane came into the gas station.

“We have a new day shift manager,” Dominic said.

“It’s upset the fragile balance of Dominic’s life,” Ryan said.

“We can’t all be our own bosses,” MaryJane said.

“You’re not your own boss either,” Dominic said.

“Yeah, but I don’t care. Who’s your new boss? Is Harvey still around?”

“His name is Ned. He’s in the office,” Ryan pointed.

“Ned? Who names their children Ned?”

“It’s a family name,” Ned said, coming out of the office. “It’s a variation on Edmund.

MaryJane turned to look at Ned. “Hot cha,” she breathed, enjoying the view.

“We’ve lost her,” Dominic said.

“I wanted to tell you guys that we have a new employee starting today so be more welcoming to her than you have been to me,” Ned said.

“Her?” Dominic sighed. “Isn’t this place already overloaded with estrogen?” He looked at the disapproving looks Ryan, Ned, and MaryJane were giving him. “I mean that in the most loving and affectionate way. Seriously, only four guys work here. The other eight are women.”

“Sounds like you need more shifts with Alice,” Ned said. “The new worker is named Lauren. She’ll be here at noon,” Ned turned and went back to the office.




Lauren Bell was an average sized and average looking young woman around the same age as Dominic and Ryan. She had long brown hair and thick glasses. When she came in, she glanced at the counter with Dominic and Ryan but continued to the office.

“At least he hired someone about our age,” Dominic said.

“I was thrilled when Aaron started working here,” Ryan said.

“Aaron didn’t have boobs though.”

“True.”

In the office, Lauren was sitting in a chair talking with Ned. “Dominic and Ryan seem like good people. Not to me but in general,” Ned said.

“I should be fine. Being a cashier at a convenience store isn’t my first rodeo. I should get out there. It’s not busy so it’s the perfect time to get trained,” Lauren got up and left the office. “Hey, I’m Lauren,” she said to Dominic and Ryan as she walked up to the counter, tying an apron around her.

“Ryan. Dominic,” Ryan introduced.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Lauren,” Lauren smiled which caught Dominic’s eye. There was something about her that Dominic liked.

“It’s great to have you on board, Lauren,” Dominic smiled back at her.

“That’s not what you said this morning,” Ryan said.

“People change. Opinions change. Shut up, Ryan.”

Lauren chuckled.

“So what brings you to the Tank N Tummy?” Ryan asked. “Gambling debt?”

“Rough divorce?” Dominic asked.

“Some sort of addiction?”

“Mental defect?”

“You hate yourself?”

“That’s why I’m here,” Dominic nodded.

“I just need a job. I was laid off and I’m in school so I need some kind of income,” Lauren explained.

“What are you in school for?” Ryan asked.

Dominic’s heart sank. He had wanted to go to college but had always talked himself out of it. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do even if he could go back.

“Teacher,” Lauren answered. “It’s something I’ve always wanted to be but I wasn’t able to go when I was younger.”

“Why?” Dominic forced the question.

“I just didn’t have the money and I don’t want to take out loans. I saved my money and I work as much as possible.”

“That’s smart. I’m $35,000 in debt,” Ryan said. “You can have it if you want.”

“Nah. I’m good. Thanks for the offer though.”

The gas pumps and parking lot started getting full so both Dominic and Lauren got to work at the front counter while Ryan wandered the store making sure things remained neat and in stock.

“You’re pretty fast at this,” Dominic said.

“I did work at a Target for a couple years after high school,” Lauren said. “So I can use a cash register.”

“I know it’s your first day and everything but would you like to go out sometime?”

“Yeah. That’d be great. I get off at 8:30. Can we do something after that?”

Dominic shrugged. “Sure.”

“It’ll be cool to meet the other people I might be working with.”

“Oh, so you’re thinking like a work outing,” Dominic said quietly. “Yeah. I’ll get some people together and we’ll swing by to pick you up.”

“There’s a huge spill in the beverage area,” Ryan came up to Lauren.

“And?”

“You need to mop it up.”

“Why me?”

Ryan tapped his nametag. “‘Serving our customers for 2 years,’” he read.

“I don’t know what I mean but whatever,” Lauren said and left.

“So now we all get to go on your date with her?” Ryan asked when Lauren was out of earshot.

“I guess so.”

“I guess it’s possible the work outing could end up like the last one,” Ryan said.

“Ryan, you know orgies like that never happen a second time,” Dominic shook his head.




Quincy’s was a bar and arcade on Quincy Street. Dominic and Ryan usually hung out there when they wanted a drink. It was a bar in homage to former president John Quincy Adams, which the street was also named after.

“I didn’t know this place existed,” Lauren said. “Ooh, they have the Ninja Turtle game,” she grabbed Dominic’s hand and started dragging him. “Play with me.” They began playing. After a couple minutes, Lauren said “Favorite Turtle on three. One, two, three--”

“Raphael!” they both shouted.

“He’s such an ass. I love it,” she chuckled.

Dominic looked at Lauren for a second, smiling, then turned his attention back to the game.

Hope They Get a MatheMagician

I've been wanting to do a post on the "Millennial burnout" that had been making the rounds a couple weeks ago but I just never sat down and got it written because while I feel a lot of it is just laziness (really? you can't mail a letter?) I do get where fellow Millennials like myself are coming from. I think I have this "adulting" thing down because I can work a steady job, pay bills, get groceries and feed myself, not to mention take care of a family, kid, and four animals. But when the author began mentioning other things that she was putting off (email, signing/mailing a book, library donations) I realized that I do that too. For me, it's the non-rewarding stuff. The cat box, dishes, taking the bag of plastic bags back to the grocery store to be recycled. Those little insignificant things then pile up. Instead of just scooping the litter, I now have to replace the whole box; we have no dishes and nothing to eat with; it's now three bags of plastic bags. And it's here where my burnout begins.

Millennials were taught, just like the three generations before us, that if you work hard then good things will come to you. But we're the first generation that is realizing that isn't true. And it's not true either because the system is rigged and so stacked against us now or it was never true to begin with. We can work eight hours and still barely pay our bills and get groceries. We can work twelve hours and still not get by. We can work 16 hours, live as frugally as possible yet still barely break even. What's the point? And just like that cat box, what's the point of scooping it clean when your cat is just going to take another dump in it? We have to keep working, in some form, if we want to survive, but washing dishes, taking out the trash, cooking dinner, are all chores that get placed on the back burner because we are tired.

That's part of the reason I have cut back on my writing. Part of it is to focus on my books and getting things published but the other part is burnout. And the next generation--my son's and everyone younger than him--will have to work even harder unless things get fixed. How do they get fixed? I don't know, I don't have a degree in that and I'm too tired.

So what am I doing? I finished chapter eight of one of my novels and am outlining the next few chapters. I finished two short stories that I'm going to edit and submit to places and am doing some research on a couple of local history items I find interesting. Not to mention my daily updates on my social media. If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-Fi. There's no commitment or subscription involved.

I love cursive but I don't write in it. A lot of my students think I do because my letters are close together and several are connected but that's just the way I write. Recently, there has been an ever so small push to start teaching cursive in schools again. While I think that'd be great, I think just going in-depth on teaching handwriting would be just as effective.

As for writing everything down, they could just hide the paper or tear it up. Also, I love Gladys calling her nine-year-old son a "big boy" that can read.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm off for the next week so until next Sunday, I remain...
~Brian

Saturday, January 19, 2019

What a Great Day to Rest Your Bones...

Has Brutus ever seen The Andy Griffith Show? He's looking right at the TV but instead of saying "Watching The Andy Griffith Show?" he says "What's so funny?". Well, Brian, that would ruin the joke that Chip has set up. Yes, but in the it's currently written, Brutus is unaware of The Andy Griffith Show until Wilberforce specifically mentions it. *heavy sigh* It's like no one ever thinks to consult me on these things.

Friday, January 18, 2019

He's Going To Quit for Two Days

As much as I would love to see this be the strip where Brutus either snaps and 1)quits or 2)goes on a workplace shooting spree, we all know neither will happen. If Brutus wants more respect at work then maybe he needs to be better at his job.

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Coke Aw Veen

Chicken and wine.

I'm surprised that the waiter actually let Brutus get through pronouncing it before yanking the menu from his hands.

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Secrets of a Successful Marriage

I've been married only slightly less than I've been doing this website. My secret to a long marriage is communication and respect. That's your spouse, they should be your equal. Both of you should be at the same level and ready to commit to this thing.

"A short memory." Yet another reason there's no longer an Aunt Ted. You know what I mean.

Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Late Life Crisis?

Uncle Ted's ongoing mid-life crisis is possibly the reason that there is no Aunt Ted. You get what I'm trying to say.


Monday, January 14, 2019

Brutus Is Not Amused

Why are you asking me about if I made any resolutions on January 14th? I knew we've seen each other since then but it took you fourteen days to ask me about any resolutions? I've got a resolution for you: Quit being a dick.

So I thought Arnie's mouth looked a little strange so I looked up past posts with Arnie in them and his mouth always looks like that! How have I never noticed it before?

Sunday, January 13, 2019

Just Do It Yourself

ICE HOUSE CATS

The cats who lived under the ice house on the farm had grown overnight from two to six. Mama Kitty spent the night and early morning cleaning her offspring as they, two males and two females, suckled at her nipples. Father Cat was off hunting, bringing Mama what he could to feed her until she could hunt again.

These cats were a rare breed. They had powers that scared humans which was why they lived under the ice house. The humans who owned the farm were kind to the cats but not enough to let them live in the house. Cats like these were nearly extinct with only a few thousand still living. The cats rarely used their magic anymore for fear of bringing attention to themselves. The cats were content to live a simple, domesticated life.

Nine months had passed since the kitten’s birth. At a year old, they could be sent off to find their own place in life, or stay with the family. The four kittens were growing up well. They were playful, smart, and kind and they loved making their Mama laugh. A normal pastime of these cats was telling stories. Usually stories about their heroic ancestors and how they would use their powers to help humans.

“Tell us the story about the dragon,” the gray male kitten pleaded one afternoon. His brother and sisters excitedly agreed with him.

Mama Kitty chuckled. “The dragon? You’ve already heard that story this week.”

“We love that story, Mama,” the tabby female kitten mewed.

“Okay,” Mama Kitty chuckled again. “Hundreds of years ago, there was a cat who belonged to a little girl. The girl was the princess of a small kingdom called Lasia. The girl’s father, the King, loved his daughter very much and she loved her cat very much. Sadly, in the nearby lake, there lived a dragon--one of the last dragons in the world. The dragon terrorized Lasia but brought it no harm because the citizens would appease the dragon by feeding it two sheep every day.

“Then, one day, Lasia ran out of sheep. It was decided, although it was a tough decision, to give the dragon one of the children every day. The townspeople chose the child through a lottery and this worked well for a couple of years until the King’s daughter’s name was pulled. Being a fair and just leader, the King reluctantly sent his daughter out to the lake for the dragon. The princess was dressed in her best dress and sent out to the lake to await the dragon.

“The cat, wanting to be with his beloved owner, left the castle and followed the princess to the shores of the lake. Shortly after arriving, a knight was passing through Lasia and happened upon the lake, the princess, and the cat. After hearing her story, the knight decided to lie in wait and attempt to slay the dragon. The knight went to hide while the princess and cat stood their ground. The dragon appeared and immediately went for the princess. She screamed in fear and the knight leapt out from where he was hiding. But the dragon was knocked back and landed hard on the ground. Now vulnerable, the knight plunged his sword into the dragon’s heart.

“The knight got all the accolades for freeing Lasia from the dragon but neither the knight nor the princess could figure out what really happened with the dragon but the cat, keeping his magical abilities secret, saved the princess’s life using a spell to knock the dragon back and put it off-balance. Despite the knight become a hero and a legend, if it wasn’t for the cat, both the knight and the princess would’ve been eaten.”

The kittens exclaimed in astonishment at the story they’ve now heard dozens of times. “Why didn’t the cat come forward about his powers?” “Did no one really see the cat use his powers?” “Tell it again, the long way this time.”

“Come on, get washed up for Father,” Mama said, giving the kitten closest to her a couple of licks with her tongue.

The kittens went off to the other side of the ice house and began washing. “I want to be a hero,” the tabby male kitten said, still in awe at the story.

“You wouldn’t know the first thing about it,” the gray female kitten sneered.

“Would too,” tabby male kitten sneered back.

“You’d have to go far away from here. There are no dragons out here. There are barely any people,” the gray male kitten said.

“I’m still going to be a hero. Heroes don’t just save people.”

“According to all the stories Mama tells us, that’s all they do,” tabby female kitten reasoned.

After washing up, Father Cat returned home with dinner. The cats ate and then washed up again. They then gathered together like they always did to continue telling stories. “Mama? Heroes don’t just save people do they?” the tabby female kitten asked.

“Heroes do more than just help other people,” Father Cat said. “That’s a big part but being a hero can be as much as saving another’s life or just being a friend and being there for somebody. There are many kinds of heroes in this world and not all of them slaughter child-eating dragons.”




The kittens were almost a year old. Almost ready to go out in the world by themselves. Mama and Father still doted on them but continued to tell them that all kittens leave the home after a year. The biggest change was that the farm, and therefore the ice house, had been sold to new owners. Neither Mama or Father knew what happened to the old owners but watched with unease.

“Will we have to leave, Mama?” the gray female kitten asked.

“I hope not,” Mama sighed. “Father and I are keeping an eye on the new humans. We don’t think they know we’re here and if they do, they don’t seem to care. If we can stay here until you four leave then that will be fine.”

For the next few days everything was normal. Then late at night, or early in the morning, the cats were awakened by hammering. At first they thought the humans were doing work on the ice house until they saw the bright light of fire and smelled the smoke.

“They’re burning us alive,” the boy cats shrieked.

“Everyone split up,” Father remained calm but the kittens could still hear the panic in his voice. “If we lose one another, go to the creek in the woods, to the fallen tree.”

The six cats ran to each side of the ice house--one side was engulfed in flames so only three were accessible. “They trapped us in,” the gray female kitten screamed. A piece of wood blocked each of the exits from under the ice house.

“Push. Dig your way,” Father shouted.

The gray male kitten found a small hole that wasn’t covered in a corner by the front where the fire was. He was still just a bit big so he dug for a few seconds and attempted to squeeze through. When he was out, he shouted to alert the rest of his family but the hole became overcome with fire. The gray kitten ran from the ice house and to the tree line where the creek would be. He looked back and saw the whole ice house engulfed in flames. As he ran into the woods, he hoped someone from his family would meet him at the tree.   ■

If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-Fi.

I...What? First of all, why is Brutus putting Wilberforce to work counting pennies? Second, why does Wilberforce think if there are fifty pennies then there must be 500? Third, it doesn't take that long to count 500 pennies if you do it right. Fourth, why is Brutus dressed like the Vault Boy from the Fallout video game series?

Saturday, January 12, 2019

Retirement Plans

Look, I'm not saying that what Gladys does around the house isn't important but how come Gladys doesn't work? I get that she became a stay-at-home mom when Wilberforce was born but is there a reason she's a stay-at-home mom? She could get a part-time job or something. Maybe Gladys has never had a job. That would make sense in the 1960s, I guess but not so much now.

God, her shirt just makes my eyes hurt.

Friday, January 11, 2019

Guest-Starring a Young Jeffrey Tambor

I shouldn't have to laugh at my boss's jokes to be on his good side. Being a good employee who does my job correctly should be enough.

Oooh. That's why Brutus brown-noses Veeblefester. Brutus is terrible at his job.

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Dating Jeans, Part 2

Of all the storylines that could be ongoing, this is the one that Chip chose?

I can't believe we're still on this. Brutus: Just go get the jeans and put them on right in front of Gladys. But also, none of this matters. You know you can still fit in those jeans and that's all that matters.I bet you that Gladys can't fit into anything from when you guys were dating.

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

I Don't Like the Word Cankles

Those are one old pair of pants.

Why didn't Brutus come out in the pair of jeans? He wants to show Gladys that he's not fat and can fit into his old jeans but he doesn't come out and prove it to her? There are a lot of holes in Brutus' story. And probably a lot in those jeans.

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

The Holidaze

Look, I don't want to get all continuity-y on you but Brutus, from what we've been told, only has two living older relatives. Uncle Ted and his mother-in-law, Ramona Gargle. Everyone else related to Brutus lives in his house. Who drove him crazy? He should be used to Mother Gargle and he likes Uncle Ted. Also, Brutus still had to work. He probably only got Christmas Eve/Day and New Year's Eve/Day off if that so he had at least 8 family-free hours away.

And we know Brutus didn't kill them making this a pseudo-confession because we've seen, at least, Gladys since the holidays.

Monday, January 7, 2019

Sometimes They Televise Debate

Why would colleges focus on playing and televising things that actually could inspire and motivate kids to do well in school? No, no. It's great that you think everyone can be an athlete and constantly reinforce that idea into our youth.

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Tauy Creek Digest #52: Will O' the Wisp

Key Comics was published by Consolidated Magazines out of Springfield, Massachusetts. It only lasted for five issues between January 1944 and August 1946 and went through 4 logo changes in those five issues. I'm guessing because there was so much between each issue. The first issue featured The Key, a superhero detective who had a special key and not much else. He did have kind of a Native American sidekick who everyone called a "redskin" so the 1940s casual racism shines through brilliantly. The next story features Dick Dash, an American schoolboy who is being schooled in France as it is being bombed by Nazis. After that is our featured story but after that is The Curse of the Fortune Teller, vhich features bad eastern European accents sprinkled all though ze comic. Oh, and the last story, Mascot Monkey Shines features a Japanese man colored in the brightest yellow I've ever seen and whenever he talks, they draw little faux-Japanese symbols in front of each line. It's wholesome entertainment.

Gale Leary, the Will O' the Wisp, was featured on the cover of the first two issues of Key Comics while The Key was featured on the last three. The idea of Will O' the Wisp was kind of strange. The criminals that killed her mother and crippled her father gave her a willow tree branch to shut her up when she was a baby. She kept that willow branch for 20 years and it gives her powers, the power to make criminals do themselves in. In her first adventure, she is able to do in one of the criminals and takes care of the other one in the following issue.

What's interesting is Boss Evans believes he can ruin Leary's career by shattering his legs. It's not like he's a police officer or a detective. He's a lawyer. I guess this was before the Americans With Disabilities Act so getting inside the courthouse might have been an issue.

The credits on Gale Leary: The Will O' the Wisp are listed as Chu Hing as both writer and artist. You can read more about Chu Hing here.












Working Weekend

Appanoose was small town located right on the county line between Douglas and Franklin County about eight miles east of Overbrook. A post office was established in 1857 in Franklin County and at some point moved to Douglas County before closing in 1860. The post office reopened in 1870 and closed permanently in 1902.

The Appanoose Church of the Brethren was built around 1886 in Franklin County. It served the surrounding area of both Franklin and Douglas counties. It even grew big enough to get members from another nearby church. The congregation declined in the middle of the 20th Century when children grew up, left the family farms, and got jobs in the city. Regular services ended in 1972 and the congregation was formally disorganized in 1980. The church was recently listed on the National Register of Historic Places with the nearby Appanoose Cemetery as a contributing property. The Kansas Historic Resource Inventory has some great pictures of the inside.

Appanoose Cemetery, across from the Brethren Church in Douglas County.
Appanoose School, built in 1919, a new school was built directly behind it and is now
consolidated with the Pomona School District. This building now serves as a museum.
The Appanoose Baptist Church, built in 1877. The bell tower was built in 1900.
Ko-Fi helps people support the creators they enjoy. If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a cup of coffee on Ko-Fi.

This is what I do with my students. "I don't know how to spell!" "Well, do your best and then do spell check and it'll fix it for you." And then either they spell so atrociously that spell check doesn't know what they are trying to say or the kids pick the wrong word to correct their mistake with.

I'm gonna give a shout-out to the color in today's strip. I like that yellow used on the background.

Friday, January 4, 2019

The Tubby-Short Correlation


Where's Wilberforce? Shouldn't he be out here keeping Hattie away from Brutus? Brutus should've made a New Year's resolution to keep his distance from Hattie. Or run her over with a car. Whichever actually keeps her from getting into his house.

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Kiss the Cook

One thing I've learned doing this thing is that Gladys' ability as a cook varies depending on what's funnier. Basically, Gladys is a good cook on old tried and true recipes but bad on new recipes. FYI, I've screwed up some pretty basic frozen dinners but it's because frozen dinners are usually trash.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

New Year, Same Old Veeblefester

Veeblefester should've thrown something at Brutus as he closed the door. You're not a terrifying monster of a boss unless you are throwing things at your employees.