Harry Anderson's Sideshow

Harry Anderson would've been 72 years old this year. As I've done most years past, I'm using his birthday to celebrate some of the things in his life that isn't Night Court or Dave's World, his two sitcoms that helped make him a star.

After he died, I was reading a long obituary for him where they revealed that Anderson didn't necessarily like being a sitcom star. He was seeing other magicians getting TV specials and being awarded stardom just by being funny magicians--the main ones being the great Penn & Teller. Night Court allowed Anderson so showcase his comedy along with his magic but Dave's World, a family sitcom loosely based on the life of humorous newspaper columnist Dave Barry, did not. Anderson wanted to show off his magic, which is why he got into showbiz in the first place.

Shortly after Dave's World ended, Anderson and his new wife moved to New Orleans where he opened a magic shop and then a theater. The venture would be short-lived as Hurricane Katrina devastated the city and they moved to Asheville, North Carolina in 2006.

In 1987, around the height of Night Court's popularity, NBC gave Harry Anderson a special called Harry Anderson's Sideshow where Anderson could showcase his magic, comedy, and other strange attractions. The special premiered October 30, 1987 and pre-empted the series Private Eye which would be canceled in January after 13 episodes. I was unable to find ratings information for Sideshow but I would place it's viewership slightly above Private Eye but far below Night Court (at this point, in the top ten of TV shows).

The show opens with Anderson singing a song written by the famed Sherman brothers, "Canvas, Sawdust, and Dreams". The show immediately starts off by cutting Diedre Hall's head off in a guillotine. I hate when that happens.

The next show is the Amazing Acrobats of China. They can throw large vases and tables around with their feet. Anderson interviews Tommy Trio, a man with three legs portrayed by John Astin. Tommy absolutely does not want to talk about his three legs. Next is Charley Charles who does some stunts on a bicycle. He even rides a tiny bicycle, but his pants don't get caught in the chain and get pulled off.

Don't have to burn that seat.

Peter Scolari dances as diminutive Duke. It's kind of weird, maybe a little offensive, but Peter Scolari seems like he's having a good time. Anderson has turned Diedre Hall into Jan In the Pan while he works to reattach her head to her body. There's another performance from an Amazing Acrobat of China (this guy balances glass on his face and then climbs a ladder!) and then Marsha Warfield (Anderson's Night Court costar) comes out as Dynamo the Human Bomb. I love the banter between them "Harry, when you called and asked me to do this and I expressed very little interest, you said I could do what I want." She relents and does the trick when Harry hints he could get her kicked off of Night Court. Harry then blows up the box Warfield got in, but not until after she sneaks out while Harry has his back turned. I think it would've funny if Anderson, realizing he just killed his costar, would've said "We're gonna need a fourth bailiff" as kind of a joke to Selma Diamond and Florence Halop both passing away on Night Court before hiring Warfield. Maybe that would've been too mean or something.

Emma Samms plays Cloris, a beautiful girl flower. It's weird. But then we move to the death-defying feats of Pan-Tar and Maureen. He shoots arrows. He only does a couple tricks but they are pretty impressive. As the show concludes, Anderson thanks his guests and Diedre Hall has decided to embrace being a disembodied head and is thrilled to announce that she is joining the sideshow circuit with pitchman Tommy Trio!

At the end, we watch the acts clean up while we get a reprise of "Canvas, Sawdust, and Dreams" sung by Mel Torme. Credits roll (I'm assuming Anderson's daughter, Eva, playing the girl at the beginning of the special) and we end on Hick (voiced by Jay Johnson of Soap fame who also executive produced this special) making a joke about the special being too short for having paid 8 bits.

The end.

Green Yards of Arnie

November 18, 1965

We're getting our fairy tales crossed today.

This godmother has a wand, but neither wings nor floaty crowny things.

Even green is pushing it for me.

We have vines that grow everywhere that I have to trim and cut back. It's weird how I can completely cut the vines apart, yet they keep growing. Nature cannot be tamed.

Tis the Season

October 29, 1989

Where did Wilberforce get that Cookie Crisp Wizard (Cookie Jarvis) outfit? Cookie Crook and Officer Crumb had been the mascot for the cereal for five years at this point.

I hope Wilberforce and Hurricane Hattie are robbing Brutus and beating the crap out of him.

Finally, it's Weasels Baseball season. It's my third favorite season after Snowman Brutus Winter and Golf.

Shitter. Coach called you the Designated Shitter.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

And be sure to follow me wherever you use your social media.

The Magic Show

NBC Night Court publicity photo.

Harry Anderson would've turned the big 7-0 back on the 14th. While he's best known for playing Judge Harold T. Stone in Night Court, for years before that, he was a fairly prolific street magician. His performances would eventually lead to gigs on Saturday Night Live which would then lead to guest appearances on Cheers.

It was clear that magic was something that Anderson really wanted to do and acting was just something he had to do in order to perform his magic. On Night Court, his magic was very prominent early on but was put on the backburner in later seasons. Him performing magic was non-existent on his next show Dave's World. From articles and obituaries I've read, Anderson wanted to be known more as a magician and not an actor which prompted him to open a place in New Orleans to showcase his magic.

After Hurricane Katrina, Anderson and his wife moved to Asheville, North Carolina where he went into a kind of semi-retirement until his death in 2018. I love watching Harry Anderson on SNL or late-night talk shows performing his magic and being able to be a true performer. One of the weirder places Anderson showcased his magic was on the British/Canadian children's television show, Noddy.

Noddy premiered in 1998 and was set in an antique shop helmed by Noah, whose grandchildren hung out at the shop. Animation from the earlier series Noddy's Toyland Adventures was used when Kate, one of the grandchildren, told a story about something related to the main plot at hand. Anyway, Anderson plays Jack Fable, a magician whose car has broken down in Littleton Falls, so let's get into it.

We start out with the decent but saccharine theme song. While doing research, many said they loved the theme song. Again, it's decent. I like that it shows the cast. Not very many children's shows do that.

Bonita Flamingo wants to put on a magic show and needs both a magic wand and top hat in order to do that. The puppets then go off to find the box of magic tricks that are apparently in storage somewhere in the shop.

Warlow Weasel hints to the audience that he's going to sabotage the magic show by taking the magic wand. Just because he wasn't invited. That's a good message to send to children.

Meanwhile, Officer Carl Spiffy is telling someone to move their car, unfortunately they can't because it's broken down. Probably because it looks like a real-life Little Tykes car.

Officer Carl (Officer Spiffy?) begins writing this man a ticket because he's blocking traffic. The man, who we learn is Jack Fable, gets out of it by using magic and bribing the officer with milk and cookies he pulls from his coat.

Your human laws don't apply to magicians!

Meanwhile, Kate is upset because D.J. won't perform in the talent show with her and she wants her grandfather, Noah, to force him. Noah can't do that but when D.J. shows up, Noah asks if there is anything he would like to do for the talent show. D.J. says "Magic."

"Do you know any magic tricks?"

"Not really," is basically D.J.'s answer.

Noah and D.J. go to look for the box of magic tricks, unaware that the puppets (toys?) have already gotten to it so they can use it for their magic show. Noah apparently has a box of "mumblety-peg" in storage which I am just imagining as a box of knives.

Kate, being selfish, thinks D.J. should forget about magic and just sing and dance with her. Truman, Kate's younger brother, is wowed by magic and wants D.J. to teach him. Kate says that magic is bad and that you shouldn't play with it. "What happens?" "Bad, bad things. Things you don't even want to know about." To hammer this point home, she tells us a story about when Noddy got mixed up in the crazy, evil world of magic.

Noddy buys some magic from Sailor Sam so he can impress his friends. Almost immediately, Noddy spills the magic causing Tessie Bear's dog, Bumpy Dog, to disappear. Somehow, Tessie Bear is placed under a sneezing spell and I am already tired of this story. Noddy chastises Bumpy Dog for causing enough trouble but I'm pretty sure this is all Noddy's fault. Neighbor Tubby Bear steals one of the spells and spikes his mother's lemonade causing her to bark like a dog. After causing a toy sailboat to fly away and Mr. Plod (the local policeman) to constantly sing and dance, among other things, Noddy figures it's time to visit the smartest person he knows: Big Ears. Big Ears tells Noddy he shouldn't play with something he doesn't understand and then pistol whips him. Wait. No. He just takes the magic spells and burns them. Through deus ex machina, the magic is reversed and everything returns to normal and everyone even forgets what happened.

Overhearing Noah being unable to find the box of magic tricks, the toys agree to return the box to the humans and do their magic show later. D.J. scares Truman by "removing" his finger which impresses Jack who is roaming the store while his car is being repaired. Jack then shows D.J. a thing or two and after making Aunt Agatha disappear, Kate suggests D.J. ask Jack to teach him magic. "Yeah! He's the best!" D.J. agrees.

Jack refuses because a magician never reveals his secrets. D.J. says that Jack would probably teach his own kids which strike a nerve with Jack. Since he's a traveling magician, he doesn't really get home to see his kids very often. Jack then says good-bye and takes his leave.

Come back, Jack!

On the balcony that she reappeared on, Aunt Agatha finds the box of magic tricks. As D.J. goes through the box, Kate finishes the Noddy story which I decided to finish all in one chunk up above. Her tone with magic seems to change as she tells Truman that D.J. won't get in trouble like Noddy because Noddy was playing with a different kind of magic. Look, is magic the tool of the Devil or not. Pick a lane, kid.

He's back!

D.J. is having trouble doing magic. Luckily, Jack has had a change of heart and has returned. We then get a montage of Jack teaching D.J. magic while the toys sing.

I don't like how suggestive this is...

After teaching D.J. some magic, Jack takes his leave again, this time heading home to teach some magic to his own kids. Jack then gets in his tiny car and drives away. D.J., from the middle of the street, waves good-bye. There is no talent show. The episode is over. Roll credits.

He's gone for real this time.

There is a lot of stuff I didn't even comment on, wanting to focus on the plot and Harry Anderson. You can watch the episode on YouTube here.

Just Do It Yourself

ICE HOUSE CATS

The cats who lived under the ice house on the farm had grown overnight from two to six. Mama Kitty spent the night and early morning cleaning her offspring as they, two males and two females, suckled at her nipples. Father Cat was off hunting, bringing Mama what he could to feed her until she could hunt again.

These cats were a rare breed. They had powers that scared humans which was why they lived under the ice house. The humans who owned the farm were kind to the cats but not enough to let them live in the house. Cats like these were nearly extinct with only a few thousand still living. The cats rarely used their magic anymore for fear of bringing attention to themselves. The cats were content to live a simple, domesticated life.

Nine months had passed since the kitten’s birth. At a year old, they could be sent off to find their own place in life, or stay with the family. The four kittens were growing up well. They were playful, smart, and kind and they loved making their Mama laugh. A normal pastime of these cats was telling stories. Usually stories about their heroic ancestors and how they would use their powers to help humans.

“Tell us the story about the dragon,” the gray male kitten pleaded one afternoon. His brother and sisters excitedly agreed with him.

Mama Kitty chuckled. “The dragon? You’ve already heard that story this week.”

“We love that story, Mama,” the tabby female kitten mewed.

“Okay,” Mama Kitty chuckled again. “Hundreds of years ago, there was a cat who belonged to a little girl. The girl was the princess of a small kingdom called Lasia. The girl’s father, the King, loved his daughter very much and she loved her cat very much. Sadly, in the nearby lake, there lived a dragon--one of the last dragons in the world. The dragon terrorized Lasia but brought it no harm because the citizens would appease the dragon by feeding it two sheep every day.

“Then, one day, Lasia ran out of sheep. It was decided, although it was a tough decision, to give the dragon one of the children every day. The townspeople chose the child through a lottery and this worked well for a couple of years until the King’s daughter’s name was pulled. Being a fair and just leader, the King reluctantly sent his daughter out to the lake for the dragon. The princess was dressed in her best dress and sent out to the lake to await the dragon.

“The cat, wanting to be with his beloved owner, left the castle and followed the princess to the shores of the lake. Shortly after arriving, a knight was passing through Lasia and happened upon the lake, the princess, and the cat. After hearing her story, the knight decided to lie in wait and attempt to slay the dragon. The knight went to hide while the princess and cat stood their ground. The dragon appeared and immediately went for the princess. She screamed in fear and the knight leapt out from where he was hiding. But the dragon was knocked back and landed hard on the ground. Now vulnerable, the knight plunged his sword into the dragon’s heart.

“The knight got all the accolades for freeing Lasia from the dragon but neither the knight nor the princess could figure out what really happened with the dragon but the cat, keeping his magical abilities secret, saved the princess’s life using a spell to knock the dragon back and put it off-balance. Despite the knight become a hero and a legend, if it wasn’t for the cat, both the knight and the princess would’ve been eaten.”

The kittens exclaimed in astonishment at the story they’ve now heard dozens of times. “Why didn’t the cat come forward about his powers?” “Did no one really see the cat use his powers?” “Tell it again, the long way this time.”

“Come on, get washed up for Father,” Mama said, giving the kitten closest to her a couple of licks with her tongue.

The kittens went off to the other side of the ice house and began washing. “I want to be a hero,” the tabby male kitten said, still in awe at the story.

“You wouldn’t know the first thing about it,” the gray female kitten sneered.

“Would too,” tabby male kitten sneered back.

“You’d have to go far away from here. There are no dragons out here. There are barely any people,” the gray male kitten said.

“I’m still going to be a hero. Heroes don’t just save people.”

“According to all the stories Mama tells us, that’s all they do,” tabby female kitten reasoned.

After washing up, Father Cat returned home with dinner. The cats ate and then washed up again. They then gathered together like they always did to continue telling stories. “Mama? Heroes don’t just save people do they?” the tabby female kitten asked.

“Heroes do more than just help other people,” Father Cat said. “That’s a big part but being a hero can be as much as saving another’s life or just being a friend and being there for somebody. There are many kinds of heroes in this world and not all of them slaughter child-eating dragons.”




The kittens were almost a year old. Almost ready to go out in the world by themselves. Mama and Father still doted on them but continued to tell them that all kittens leave the home after a year. The biggest change was that the farm, and therefore the ice house, had been sold to new owners. Neither Mama or Father knew what happened to the old owners but watched with unease.

“Will we have to leave, Mama?” the gray female kitten asked.

“I hope not,” Mama sighed. “Father and I are keeping an eye on the new humans. We don’t think they know we’re here and if they do, they don’t seem to care. If we can stay here until you four leave then that will be fine.”

For the next few days everything was normal. Then late at night, or early in the morning, the cats were awakened by hammering. At first they thought the humans were doing work on the ice house until they saw the bright light of fire and smelled the smoke.

“They’re burning us alive,” the boy cats shrieked.

“Everyone split up,” Father remained calm but the kittens could still hear the panic in his voice. “If we lose one another, go to the creek in the woods, to the fallen tree.”

The six cats ran to each side of the ice house--one side was engulfed in flames so only three were accessible. “They trapped us in,” the gray female kitten screamed. A piece of wood blocked each of the exits from under the ice house.

“Push. Dig your way,” Father shouted.

The gray male kitten found a small hole that wasn’t covered in a corner by the front where the fire was. He was still just a bit big so he dug for a few seconds and attempted to squeeze through. When he was out, he shouted to alert the rest of his family but the hole became overcome with fire. The gray kitten ran from the ice house and to the tree line where the creek would be. He looked back and saw the whole ice house engulfed in flames. As he ran into the woods, he hoped someone from his family would meet him at the tree.   ■

If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-Fi.

I...What? First of all, why is Brutus putting Wilberforce to work counting pennies? Second, why does Wilberforce think if there are fifty pennies then there must be 500? Third, it doesn't take that long to count 500 pennies if you do it right. Fourth, why is Brutus dressed like the Vault Boy from the Fallout video game series?

Tauy Creek Digest #20: Hoppy

Hoppy had been in my life for nearly twenty years, through everything. We had moved to a small house outside of Perth, Australia to live out the rest of our lives. Seven years ago, a charismatic lion of a man was elected in my home country of Shmand vowing to bring everyone together. His presidential acceptance speech extolled the virtues of the country but suddenly placed the blame of all of our problems on the Genies. Genies were people with natural-born magical abilities. We were known throughout Shmand, and well-respected with our rabbits at our sides. His administration made practicing magic illegal, made Genies less than human through a congressional amendment, and ordered the slaughter of our rabbits. Hoppy and I survived thanks to beloved friends but we all knew that it wouldn't last. The administration created an internment camp that all Genies had to relocate to. Our rabbits were locked in cages, we didn't know what would happen to them, and we were placed in shackles to keep us from using our magic. We all knew that sooner or later, we would die in that place.

We were sent to work in the camp, mostly working on things that would end up in the camp. I became close friends with my cellmates, Hans Giordano and Vinton Schultz, and we talked all the time about our lives before the camp. Much to my surprise and thankfulness, I also became friends with one of the guards, Corporal Alexander Ludwig. Cpl. Ludwig even assigned me a very cushy job working behind a desk in the admission gate. I got to meet a lot of higher-ups in the administration and witness a lot of Genies be brought in like I was. It was that job that I overheard the plans for our demise.

"They're going to kill us," I said to Hans and Vinton at lunch two days after I heard the news.

"What? How do you know?" Hans was floored.

"I overheard Ludwig and other officers talking about it," I explained. "I don't think they knew I was listening."

"When are they going to do it? How?" Vinton breathed.

"I don't know when but they are going to bomb the camp. They said that they have most of the Genies here, any that are still free will just be found and shot," I said. "We have to get out of here."

"But how?" Vinton asked.

"And what about our rabbits?" Hans' rabbit, Beauregard had been with him since he was four, a lot earlier than a lot of Genies. "We need to rescue them."

"Are they all even still alive?" Vinton asked.

"They are," I said. "That giant building in the northeast of the camp is where they are. Nearly one million rabbits all trapped in cages not even the size of this tray," I banged my empty lunch tray on the table.

"How do we get them out? And then, how do we get out?" Hans whispered.

"I can check the roster and see if there are any Genies who work at or near the rabbit lockup. We need to figure out a way to remove our shackles or get our magic to work through them. That's not going to be easy."

"I was talking with a couple other Genies and they had a theory. They wondered that if a large group of us could channel our magic, maybe we could break the bonds that way," Hans revealed. "We should meet up with them and tell them what's going to happen. Maybe we can test out their theory."

"Sounds good," I said. "Who were they?"




Gideon Flank and Cicely Comstock stood with Hans, Vinton and me in a circle in their cell. "Channel your magic through your body to your hands," Gideon said and we all took each others hands. We did what he said and soon the book that was laying in the middle of our circle began floating, just a few inches off the ground, but floating. We got the book to raise about waist-high when Gideon spoke again. "And stop. It's hard but it works. Imagine nearly a million Genies holding hands and doing that."

So we had our plan. It all had to be perfectly timed. We had a guy who swept the rabbit warehouse who would release them, I would sound the camp alarm causing the guards to scramble, that would be signal for the Genies to get into position in a circle and hold hands. We knew some may not make it but everyone seemed willing to take that chance. As the klaxon sounded, chaos erupted. Genies were screaming and gunshots echoed through the camp. Rabbits were scurrying everywhere to find their owners.

The Genies gathered in a circle, holding hands, and began channeling their magic. Some were shot right there in the circle but we kept going. As more Genies joined the circle, something started happening. The ground began splitting open and crumbling into the ocean. Rabbits jumped on our shoulders to save themselves. Guards and officers fell with the ground and into the water. But we took our magic further and all of Shmand began crumbling and sliding into the ocean.

We were free but at the cost of our homes and millions of people. Survivors all went their separate ways. I, and Hoppy, settled in Australia where we lived quietly, never mentioning our previous life. All had been peaceful until one afternoon there was a knock on the door.

I answered the door and saw two policemen on my porch. "Sir, we have reports that you have a rabbit in your possession," one of them said. "It's illegal to bring outside fauna into Australia--even rabbits. If you do have a rabbit, I need you to relinquish it."

"I'm not going to lie, I do have a rabbit," I said. "But I can't give it up."

"Sir, unless you are a magician you can't keep your rabbit."

I looked at the officers and then behind me to Hoppy who was sitting on the back of my couch. I sighed and stepped outside with the officers. I hadn't used my powers since destroying my homeland. I had vowed never to use them again and many other Genies vowed the same thing. I looked at my hand and then began waving it around.