Sunday, May 30, 2021

Odd Broom Placement

It's cute that Gladys believes Brutus' carpal tunnel is caused by working too hard. Whenever we see Brutus at work he's either at his desk writing, talking with Veeblefester, or lazing about at the watercooler. I've never seen Brutus with a computer at work.

If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Friday, May 28, 2021

Officer's a Little Close Isn't He?

For some reason yesterday, pictures wouldn't upload onto here. I don't know what the problem was as I tried about every 30 minutes for about four hours and it would never upload. Whatever. I just posted my commentary on my Twitter. Sadly, you will also get commentary on it today.

Meanwhile, June is just off-panel crying because May, July, and August get love from these two.

I'm hoping Wilberforce falls into an open storm drain after making that May-niac comment. Or that Hattie pushed him into oncoming traffic.

I'd order her out of her car, stick a breathalyzer in her mouth, and then make her answer a bunch of questions about driving before hauling her in for reckless driving. Maybe hundreds of dollars in fines and up to a year in jail will keep Gladys from being stupid.

Wednesday, May 26, 2021

What Expression? That's Her Face!

*shudders*

I don't think things would be more pleasant. Brutus still hates Mother Gargle whether or not she smiles so...

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

Should've Just Opened an App

The virtual assistant has a point. Is Brutus trapped in a cave or a very big box?

I've always had a problem with the way Chip draws how these people hold these new-fangled smart phones--are you listening through your nose?--but this makes it even weirder considering Brutus is using Siri and you don't need to hold your phone up to your ear/nose to talk to Siri.

Monday, May 24, 2021

Quit Shouting Up the Stairs

If Wilberforce goes to the Cleveland Metropolitan School District then his last day is Wednesday. You can do it, Wilberforce! Three more days! It's better than us. We're doing this crap until June 4th.

Sunday, May 23, 2021

Florida Man Calls Friend In Ohio

It'd be the Marco Island Polo Club or the San Marco Polo Club, you ignorant woman. *shakes fist vigorously* I wonder how long Chip's been chuckling over this little doozy.

Has anyone else noticed that all of Brutus' friends move away? He only talks to them over the phone and none of them ever live locally. I'm starting to think that it is Brutus' fault.

Saturday, May 22, 2021

Twist and Shout

In July 1518, a woman in Stasbourg, France began dancing fervently in the streets. Soon, somewhere between 50 and 400 joined her in dance and it's not known why. Some reports mention numerous deaths at the hands of this "plague" while others mention no deaths at all. Originally, these "dancing plagues" were considered to be caused by curses or some kind of possession. Modern theories posit food poisoning, spider bites, or stress-induced mass hysteria.

I'm gonna go with spider bite here.

Friday, May 21, 2021

Math Homework Is the Worst

Based on the schools that I know of, homework has basically become a thing of the past. Most teachers give you time to work on the assignment in class and if you don't get it done then it could become homework. Usually kids don't get it done because they goof off.

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Gladys Really Only Makes Two or Three Decent Meals

Are you this parent? Making dinners for your kids that they don't even like? Don't be like Gladys. Don't do this.

I got to hand it to Wilberforce. Very few, I would think, would choke down a hated food item just so nobody else has to suffer from it. He didn't even chew, just shoved it in his mouth, and downed it with some water.

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Mister Thornapple, Really?

Gee, I'm sorry. So you don't want me to use the 10 personal/sick days that you give me? Then why give them to me. Also, I can use those however I want. If I need a day off just to chill then I'll take a day off just to chill. If I really am sick then I will take a day or two and be sick. I'm sure there are more pressing issues that you should deal with other than my absence and the reason behind it.

Tuesday, May 18, 2021

It's Weasel Season Again

If I meant DH, I would've said DH. It's hard to get those two letters mixed up.

I have to give Wilberforce credit. He's terribly bad at baseball but he continues to join the team. The kid must really like baseball (although we don't really see him watching it with Brutus). Unless, Brutus forces Wilberforce to go out every year in an effort to live vicariously through him but Wilberforce would actually have to play for that to happen...🤔

Monday, May 17, 2021

A Watched Clock

Look, I honestly don't know what Brutus does at work but after the year I've had at work, he needs to shut his damn mouth. He's not even going through a pandemic and had to quarantine. Video meetings? Nope. Wearing masks that make it hard to talk and makes you breathe slightly harder? No, no.

Anyway...*deep breath*...I am not here to complain about work. It is five minutes until five. Start cleaning and packing up. It's close enough.

Sunday, May 16, 2021

Mr. Johnson, Can You Hear Me? Can You Feel Me Near You?

I hate video conferencing for another reason. I don't like being on camera. I've always hated being on camera. I feel a massive invasion of privacy which is why if I ever expand my horizons, I probably won't be on camera doing streams but just doing podcasts. That's what the world needs, right? More mediocre white men talking about crap into a microphone?

Saturday, May 15, 2021

Participant

Did Brutus just buy someone else's football trophy from a yard sale? Why? Is Brutus going to etch off the name and put his own? Maybe Wilberforce's name so he can imagine his son isn't a complete failure like him? Who buys random people's trophies? That's just weird.

Friday, May 14, 2021

Why Are So Many Male Characters Bald?

Who do you think Brutus' tax man is? Wink, Nod, or Hyde? Watch it be neither and it's just an H & R Block/Jackson Hewitt situation. Misters Block and Mister Hewitt haven't done peoples taxes personally for years.

I thought about the Nod, Wink, and Hyde Tax Prep name for several minutes trying to come up with a reference. Is this a reference to something? Are they just names that sound like words? Am I not thinking hard enough? Or did Chip just need a quick visual to indicate that Brutus is in a tax prep business?




I don't know exactly what is going on in this cartoon or really what it is referencing, other than many conservative fever nightmares, but this is some great work.
Honestly, I would think Donald would be the conservative and Mickey the libtard cuck.

Thursday, May 13, 2021

Jerk of All Trades

Is that really something you want to say when your boss is wanting you to justify your employment. You're basically saying that you can do a lot of stuff but you're not really good at any of it. If he would've just said "jack of all trades" then fine but adding "master of none" makes it an insult.

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

Many People Suffer from This. You'd Think They'd Find a Cure

Were you sick of working or did you realize that you weren't getting paid what you believe your time, health, and expertise was worth and decided that living on the government teat, that you have paid into for years, is much more lucrative?

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

The Doctor Is Not Amused

It's cute that Gladys believes she's just retaining water. Is cute the right word?

She should know better and either just live your life or work to fix it. The doctor isn't here for your bullcrap.

Monday, May 10, 2021

Should've Flipped the Table When He Had a Chance

I'm guessing they are playing Scrabble. I don't know why the letters seem so big or why Brutus has a tray of letters but not Gladys. The phrasing also seems off. "This letter does it--I win!" She's putting down an N so is she adding it to DRAW to make DRAWN thus stealing precious points or has she somehow convinced Brutus that you play Scrabble like Uno and the object of the game is to get rid of all your letters?

Shoutout to Chip for spelling LOSER with Brutus' tiles.


Sunday, May 9, 2021

Anti-Brutus Day

He's a cheapskate because Brutus has no money. I don't see how hard that is to understand. I do object to going to Itchy Eddie's Pizzeria. Why is Eddie itchy? He doesn't make the pizzas does he? I would expect pizza to be cheap there.

Saturday, May 8, 2021

He's Very Good At It

Why does Brutus seem so vindictive? "Oh, you want money for staying home all day, cooking, cleaning, and being the main caregiver for our child, huh? Well, I want compensation for when I mow the lawn and...change light bulbs...and...uh, all the other things I do around here!"

I always figured the salary for a housewife/stay-at-home mom should be spending money on herself and the family with impunity but Brutus complains about that so a tip jar is the next logical step.

Friday, May 7, 2021

Tooth Trouble

It's probably some sort of gum infection. Maybe a sesame seed stuck underneath them. Maybe Brutus goes in every night and punches Mother Gargle in the jaw while she sleeps.

At least no one is participating in No Pants Day. Although Gladys and Mother Gargle are wearing robes...

Thursday, May 6, 2021

It's Gonna Be May

Enjoy it while you can. Someday soon it's going to be 100 degrees for ten days straight. Everything will be hazy, tires will melt as you drive down the road, and not even the local swimming pool will help.

Wednesday, May 5, 2021

All In Moderation

I can't believe Brutus is talking to Uncle Ted about moderation. The guy is in his maybe 70s possibly and he doesn't need your judgement.

I also can't believe that Uncle Ted is eating bacon with a fork? Maybe we caught him after eating some eggs.

Tuesday, May 4, 2021

Corpulent

Portly tends to also mean short (and fat). Instead of using short, fat, portly, just call Brutus "Morey Amsterdam", it's basically the same thing and less offensive.


Monday, May 3, 2021

Good Work If You Can Get It

I was originally was going to pop off about Brutus seemingly having a high-skill job but then I remembered that safety inspectors of the DMV are not high-skill. I've had one or two cars inspected and it was not so much an inspection than someone making sure the tires don't fall off, the exhaust isn't clogged, and the doors open.


Sunday, May 2, 2021

Father/Dog Quality Time

Well, doing that is good too. Brutus is still outside getting a little bit of exercise and so is Kewpie. But I guess if you want your husband and dog to die years before their time then so be it.

I can't picture Kewpie catching a fastball but anything can happen off-panel, I guess.

Saturday, May 1, 2021

Only 500 Pieces?

Is that supposed to be a video game controller Wilberforce is holding? It's like Chip started drawing a joystick, like for the Atari 2600, then remembered that controllers don't look like that anymore and just had Wilberforce tapping buttons on top while still holding the controller from the bottom. At least the thing is wireless.