Friday, February 29, 2008

What Day Is It?

OW!! Is it me or does Brutus' shirt in today's strip make your eyes hurt? It's not even drawn the way it's supposed to be drawn. Every line is straight when it should crinkle around the collar and arms. I can't draw worth a damn but I sure as hell would make the lines uneven or something to make it look more realistic.

Another thing that bothers me is February 29th isn't exactly all that rare. It happens every four years like clockwork. It's like saying a presidential election is rare. You know what's rare? A regime change in Cuba, a total solar eclipse, Halley's Comet.

I also like how Chip emphasizes today is February 29th by putting the calendar in every panel even if it means it's on top of the speech bubble.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

100!! Yay!!

Today's strip brings us to over 100 views since I started watching the site. I know that doesn't sound like much but since I suck so horribly at promotion and all that 100 is a big number to me.

But anyway, I swear Born Loser has used this joke before, not in my archive but within the last five years. I'd go through the United Media archive but I don't have that much time on my hands. Veeblefester is also greedy.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

What An S-Hole

Brian Explains Today's Marmaduke

Marmaduke had solar panels installed for his sauna despite the fact there is no room inside his doghouse for a sauna since Marmaduke takes up the whole doghouse.

Today's Strip
Get it? Do you see the joke? Let me help you out:

See it now? Vegetables. Yeah, that's funny. I'm glad to see our tattooed deli man is back but he has apparently shaved his head which is kind of sad because I liked his coif.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Fool Me Can't Get Fooled Again

In today's strip Brutus is worried that Veeblefester is upset that Brutus was out-negotiated in some kind of hostile corporate takeover. You'd think Veeblefester would know how the corporate world worked. Brutus would have to be given a limitation on what the negotiations consisted of be it money, perks, sex, what have you. It's not Brutus' fault if he lost the negotiation because Brutus can only offer so much based on what his superiors have authorized.

The scenario presented here makes it seem like Brutus was tricked. Brutus may be a born loser but he should be pretty good at his job so this is essentially Brutus' superior's fault considering they are the one who sent Brutus and authorized what Brutus could negotiate with.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Well, the Weekend's Over

I had a damn good weekend. It was almost impossible to read today's strip because I didn't want to ruin the buzz from the weekend but as doing this is my "job" I feel obligated.

So anyway, Brutus is complaining about being tired the night before. So tired that he had to drink coffee in order to get up the energy to go to bed. I am immune to caffeine so I can drink innumerable cans of soda and cups of coffee and not be affected however I do know that without caffeine my head would cave in.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Night On the Town

For some reason this made me laugh. I always seem to chuckle at jokes about Trix cereal. But what really gets me going is the top panel where the dog is saying he likes Grape a decorative mulch. That's what I think of Grape Nuts, too.

You'd think by now Brutus would know that money makes the world go 'round and not get upset. Brutus should be glad that the guy is only asked for $15 instead of $50. At least this time Brutus is at the restaurant with his wife instead of alone.

I will be away this weekend so I shall return on Monday. Be good and don't drink and drive.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Stories From the Bus Stop

I'm sorry but Veeblefester doesn't seem like he'd ride the bus. I picture Veeblefester more in a Hummer limosuine. Also, what time of day is it? Brutus and Veeblefester rarely take the bus together in the morning or is it after work? Has Brutus been walking around all day in backwards shoes? How can you not notice your shoes are on the wrong feet? Are Brutus' shoes so uncomfortable he can't tell the difference? I also like that Chip drew in that bus stop sign just so the reader doesn't think Brutus and Veeblefester are just standing there contributing nothing to society.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

More Depressing Anecdotes

Here we go again. In today's strip, Brutus is talking to himself this time about running into someone from high school who either used to bully him or was Brutus' rival in everything (possibly even Gladys' heart? I think it's time for a flashback). The thing I don't understand is why Brutus tried to think of a put-down. If I ran into an old nemesis from high school I wouldn't try to insult them, I'd try to 1-up them. Brutus could stretch the truth and say he's Rancid Veeblefester's right-hand man (I'm assuming Veeblefester is TBL's equivilent of Lex Luthor) and that he's married to a "statuesque blond" and you have to admit that Gladys is a statuesque blond.

Man, everything about today's strip just seems very depressing....

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Enviromentally Friendly Language Mangler

Well everything seems back to normal on the Born Loser site so we'll try to do two with one stone today.

In Monday's strip has Brutus saying he was offered a "green collar job" from Veeblefester. Sadly the "green collar" referred to some kind of mold Veeblefester for some reason acquires on his collars. That's kind of disgusting and I'm pretty sure outside the realm of Brutus' job description.

In today's strip The Born Loser once again mangles the English language but doesn't do as good a job this time. Technically, factional would be correct usage as faction literature are books based on historical figures and actual events but woven together with fictictious accounts, like In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. So this isn't really funny but does show that Chip needs to do more research.

Monday, February 18, 2008

A Replacement Strip

In lieu of today's Born Loser strip, I've opted to showcase today's B.C. strip. Why does Wiley have his distilled gin in a water tower high enough for a dinosaur to drink out of it? This comic strip is even stupider now that a legacy-artist took over.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Your Cookies I Mean

In today's strip Hurricane Hattie baked Brutus cookies. Not a specific type of cookie but just cookies. Is that even possible? I guess they would just taste like the batter only cooked. They'd have some flavor, right? You put sugar in the batter when you mix them right? But flavorless, possibly burnt cookies aside, would you accept food made by Hattie?

Friday, February 15, 2008

Smokey and the Brutus

As I sit here reading today's strip, I am also watching Chowder on Cartoon Network. At first I didn't think I'd like the show but it has slowly grown on me. I've also determined that Chowder (the main character) is one of the cutest things on television and when/if I ever get another cat, it's name will be Chowder.

But onto the task at hand. This conjures up the question of "Does Brutus do this everytime he's in the car?" If so, Brutus really needs help. And I'm sure that if Brutus did do that over an actual CB the truckers would hunt him and kick his ass until he screams for Mama. Also, that car is really tiny.

Creator of Chowder C.H. Greenblatt's blog.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

A Born Loser Valentine

I hate stupid memorials like the one in today's Wizard of Id. Ironically this is the kind of crap that Johnny Hart would put in his strip were he still alive. Oh, legacy-artist Brent Parker, you don't "wow" me with your ability to continue a fledgling past-its-time comic strip. Create something new and get it on the comics page then maybe I will care for your little jokes.

In today's Born Loser, Brutus is slowly being asphyxiated while his wife makes a joke. Is it me or does Brutus' arms look a little lopsided? And is it also me or is the hat on top of the box precious? Kudos, Brutus. Kudos!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Love, Born Loser Style

I originally smelled a fart joke coming at the end of today's strip but instead got some weird flirtation/mating dance between Brutus and Gladys. The eyes on Brutus in the second panel says that Brutus' Viagra has kicked in and Gladys will have to once again endure two and a half of the most boring sex on the planet. Hopefully by tomorrow's strip, Brutus and Gladys are fully clothed.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Another Reference to Drinking

I'm going to look over the inevitable "funny" similie in today's strip and go straight to the point of the strip. We're all sick of the cold weather.

Minority Comics Strike Back

I don't like it when the race card is played, especially on the comics page but I see where the creators of minority-themed strips are coming from. I know there are no minority strips in my local paper and I believe only Jump Start and Boondocks are in the nearby Kansas City Star. But the following comics used the same story in their February 10th Sunday strip as a joke-cum-protest toward editors who feel that all minority strips are interchangable.

The News Story from the St. Peterburg Time

Watch Your Heads by Cory Thomas
Herb and Jamaal by Stephen Bentley
Cafe Con Leche by Charlos Gary
Candorville by Darrin Bell
The K Chronicles by Keith Knight
Housebroken by Steve Watkins

And I know I left some off because more minority creators got in on the act. If you feel like perusing the many comic strips on the Internet, feel free to hunt down the remaining strips even though the plot is exactly the same.

Monday, February 11, 2008

TBL: Bad 24/7

As much as I make fun of the art and simplistic storylines in TBL, at least the storytelling and art isn't as bad as what regularly appears in the comic strip Gil Thorp. When I started reading The Comics Curmudgeon Gil Thorp is a regular feature on that website and even has it's own haven on This Week In Milford But take a moment to look at that artwork. It tries way too hard to be realistic and detailed to the point that it looks like a comic strip. Also, there have been comics where the arms have been backwards, people were positioned in impossible positions and at least three main characters look exactly alike but are all decidedly different. So take comfort that TBL is only remotely bad, Gil Thorp is horrid and badly drawn.

Onto today's strip. So you mean to tell me that Brutus has never heard the phrase "24/7"? That's seems really odd especially in this work-a-day world when everything is available 24/7. I'm gonna use my "challenge" to challenge Chip Samson to show me someone who doesn't know the phrase "24/7" or even has an inkling of what it means.

Come on, Chip. You chicken?
Caw, ca, caw!! Caw, ca, caw!!
Chaw, chee, chaw chee!!
A-coodle-loodle-loo! A-coodle-loodle-loo!
Coo-coo-ka-chaw! Coo-coo-ka-chaw!

But TBL Is a White Elephant

Sunday's strip is nothing compared to what happened in The Amazing Spider-Man. Not only did we get the most action-packed installment in a long time we got this:

I don't like the silohuette usage in the second and fourth panels of The Born Loser. To me, doing that is just laziness of not doing more action or changing the scene or position of characters. Also, what reality show is Wilberforce watching? From what he's talking about it sounds like America's Next Top Model or, God forbid, The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. But out of everything that's wrong with this strip I have to say that Hurricane Hattie has some amazing upper-body strength.

And remember, Spider-Man is NOT an elephant.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

2-For-1 Saturday

Yesterday's strip is in complete contrast to my hatred of Thursday's strip. Brutus is eating at a deli like Dagwood and it doesn't look as sad and depressing. Although what does look kind of odd is the deli-man's tattoo. Notice it's on his arm but below the elbow according to the illustration. So this man had "Ma" tattooed on his forearm instead of his upper arm? That seems a bit odd to me. Maybe his upper arm is already covered in tattoos, we just can't see them because of the shirt.

Today's strip shows off Wilberforce's stupidity yet again. The idiocy Wilberforce showcases doesn't require the smirk Brutus gives us in the final panel but just a slight chuckle and an explanation that Grandma has her own way of cleaning her teeth.

Honestly, should someone who proclaims themself a "born loser" really be going to dentist? That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Shrimp Crappy!!

Hey, look at this Get Fuzzy. Lately Bucky has been on strike in support of the televison writers, however in the strip Bucky is on strike and refuses to do anything. Rob really needs to think things through when he gives Bucky an idea. I find it hard to believe that Bucky actually cleans his own litterbox. I mean, I know Bucky and that's not the Bucky I know.

Now, onto The Born Loser. I hate strips like this because Brutus is always alone. He's at a fancy restaurant presumably during lunch hour during a work day. How much is that costing? Why does Brutus go to a place like for lunch? Brutus should be going to a deli like Dagwood does and getting himself a big loose meat sandwich.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

That's Really Jack Nicholson's Dandruff Flakes

Today's strip offers a bad visual joke on a weather phrase. Never heard that one before Chip! And once again we see Brutus at a bus stop circa 1960. Maybe Chip can't draw people in cars or maybe that kind of modern technology frightens the Samson family. Also, what kind of bus stop doesn't have some kind of shelter people can sit in and wait? Maybe Chip can't draw that either.

Monday, February 04, 2008

We've All Four Seasons This Winter

In today's strip Brutus wonders when the person he hired to clear his driveway will get around to doing it. Unfortunately the plow is stuck in the snow. Where I live we have experienced all four seasons since this winter began. Today it was a wonderful 60 degrees but tomorrow snow. It's February so it's time to pick a season and stick with it.

Hey! I'm Gonna Be an English Major!

In today's strip Wilberforce is enlightening us with some commentary about some guy named Rick Goetchius who is home from college for a couple weeks. Not having met this Rick Goetchius, it makes me wonder why the reader should care about him but then we uneasily segue into why people go to college and what Brutus' major is. Brutus is an English major--he went to college but a 12-year-old girl is still smarter than him. That's not a ringing endorsement for the college Brutus Thornapple went to. And sadly, since Brutus is a legacy that means Wilberforce will more than likely go to the same one. God help us all.

Also, I noticed on the website that if I enjoy TBL, which I don't, I'd also enjoy Andy Capp, Drabble and Red & Rover but unfortunately I did not. The website lied to me. Just like everyone else.

Saturday, February 02, 2008

Hello Groundhog, Good-bye TDIET

In a bit of sad news, the "comic" panel, They'll Do It Every Time has come to an end. TDIET started in 1929 to fill a spot in a newspaper and took off. It was nationally syndicated in 1936. In 1989, Al Scaduto took over the strip and continued it until his death in December 2007. King Features decided not the continue the strip after Scaduto's death bringing another long-running strip to an end. Here's is They'll Do It Every Time's final strip.

In The Born Loser, Brutus is watching, apparently, the news about the groundhog coming out of its hole that it doesn't want to come out of. Would you? A group of reporters, sight-seers, cameras, lights surrounding your house? Who'd go out in that? I guess Britney Spears.....

Friday, February 01, 2008

But Paula Deen's She's Not

At first I was a little appalled at today's strip. Serving wine to a little boy like Wilberforce seemed a bit much even for this strip until I realized that cooking the chicken would burn the alcohol out of it. Well, that's good but if I lived Wilberforce's life I'd become an alcoholic at an early age.