Tuesday, January 31, 2023

That's Some Good Side-Eye

November 7, 1973
In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin."

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but as the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply carved: Returned unopened.

Well, I would say that Brutus is going to get another talking-to from human resources but it's 1973 and this kind of stuff is okay.

Maybe math gives Wilberforce trouble because "good at math" isn't something that's hereditary.

Monday, January 30, 2023

The Most Romantic of Waltzes

November 6, 1973
Are these love letters Brutus wrote to Gladys or love letters Brutus wrote to/received from other women? Because I can see Gladys laughed at either.

Years ago, when I was dating someone, we would pass notes to each other over the cubicle wall. As a gift, I compiled these notes and made them into a book. I kept the book for years until finally throwing it away when I moved from Lawrence to Topeka. I often wondered if she kept her copy or if she eventually tossed it, too.

You also apparently wrote hilarious love letters like how you would take care of Gladys and she would never want for anything. You can't take care of your family by playing "Chopsticks", Brutus.

Is "Chopsticks" still a reference the younger generation would understand?

Sunday, January 29, 2023

Sleep Deprived

Kansas became the 34th state in the United States 162 years ago today. This post card, I don't know the year, features a poem called The Call of Kansas. It was written by Esther M. Clark in 1907. Clark was born and raised in Kansas and wrote this poem when living in Long Beach, California as a sort of love letter to her home state.

Sweeter to me than the salt sea spray
the fragrance of summer rains;
Nearer my heart than the mighty hills
are the wind-swept Kansas plains;
Dearer the sight of a sky wild rose by
the roadside dusty way
Than all the splendor of poppy-fields
ablaze in the sun of May.
Gay as the bold poinsettia is, and the
burden of pepper trees,
The sunflower tawny and gold and brown,
is richer to than these;
And rising ever above the song of the
hoarse insistent sea,
The voice of the prairie calling,
Calling me.

December 30, 1984
I enjoy the clever little "I'll give you $50...no, $10..." gag in the first panel. And I gotta hand it to Veeblefester for not just calling the cops on Wastrel as he traipses through his gated community. I don't know. Maybe Veeblefester lives in Shaker Heights.

If you remove the first two panels (the logo and first panel), like many newspapers do to save space, then we start out with Brutus lightly suggesting his uncle dope himself up. We don't know that Uncle Ted is having trouble sleeping, maybe Brutus just wants his chair and TV back or, if he's at Uncle Ted's, to leave.

My wife and I fall asleep with the TV on these days. How old is Uncle Ted's TV that it doesn't have a sleep timer?

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Saturday, January 28, 2023


November 5, 1973
Is this normally a hill people ski at (down)? It looks pretty desolate and there's clearly a cabin being lived in at the bottom of the hill? Do they allow people to ski through their yard? Some of these cabin people have shotguns.

I've gone skiing once in my life. It was during my sixth grade year and that class always went to Weston, Missouri to ski. I stopped about halfway through, not really enjoying it. I was bored the rest of the trip. I wish I had tried it a bit more because I don't believe I really gave it a real try. And I'm certainly not going to do it now.

December 23rd seems like an odd time to start a diet but you do you.

Friday, January 27, 2023

"Get Me Elmer from the Cleaning Crew, I'm Going to Make Him My Executive Vice President"

November 3, 1973
Well, this is something I've never seen the modern Wilberforce do. Be horny. Getting the chicks by flashing that wad of money around the church collection plate.

This would've been the perfect strip to callback to Agnes. It's weird how Brutus being sick is one of the few multi-part strips. What's funny is that Elmer is probably just sitting in Brutus' chair at his desk and he's not even doing any work. Whatever Brutus does was probably just split among other people. Remember, Brutus is not very important.

Brutus, take a step back. You're getting germs all over the fruit.

Thursday, January 26, 2023

Email Message?

November 2, 1973
Still impressive. And it may not be his fault. Maybe those turtles just got switched around as they were walking in. Sadly, those turtles are now at risk of getting ill from the fingernail polish Brutus used. At least, I hope it's fingernail polish.

So are Brutus and his bucket hat-wearing friend trying out a new terrible diner or is this the usual diner that Brutus goes to that he's subjecting his bucket hat-wearing friend to?

What does Veeblefester do all day? Clearly he doesn't read his own emails. Using television as a guide, I watched The Office. I'm not really sure what Michael Scott did as the boss either. I'm starting to think that most bosses just make it up as they go along.

Tuesday, January 24, 2023

Time's Taking Its Toll

November 1, 1973
Father Flanagan founded Boys Town for those who had never heard of Father Flanagan before and wonder who the hell he is. I work in a school for, I guess you could say 'troubled youths' so we use a lot of Boys Town training. It's not explicitly mentioned but you don't point your finger at the kids. That could just be asking for trouble.

On the contrary, Gladys, looking at how you looked in the 1970s and 1980s, you've never looked better than you do right now.

Monday, January 23, 2023

Since 1997

October 31, 1973
My Grandpa would talk to himself. Or really, kind of mumble to himself. It was mainly just non-sequiturs or possibly him continuing conversations from earlier. My favorite was him just saying "Fruit man." Brutus can't seem to even do that.

Oh, Uncle Ted, that's not good. That's not good at all. He's been writing the wrong year on checks for nearly 30 years. Uncle Ted was in his forties the last time he correctly wrote the year on his checks. Not good. Not good.😔

Sunday, January 22, 2023

Wilberforce Likes to Grope the Mannequins

December 9, 1984
Brutus Thornapple: Losing the Acme account since 1984.

Wilberforce just got distracted and sat his ice cream cone down on the chair? Actually, that sounds like something Wilberforce would do...

Seeing the art evolve from the 1960s to 1970s to the 1980s, I prefer this style. It reminds me of the characters in the TV Frosty the Snowman program.

If I had a Star Wars I wanted to watch all the time, it'd be A New Hope. I will not be taking questions on this.

I watch a lot of the same stuff. I just can't mentally gird myself to watch much new stuff--especially movies or dramas. I can get through TV shows as long as they aren't heavy dramas but my brain is working overtime on life and life is dramatic and terrible enough without TV and movies beating that fact over my head.

It's not that you can't afford them, you just need to be a little more clever in order to purchase them. Do you mean to tell me Gladys didn't shove clothes she couldn't afford into Wilberforce's coat? Then what's the point of bringing him? They'd never search a child.

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Friday, January 20, 2023

His Existence Is What's Wrong

October 30, 1973
Everyone knows Brutus is bald. Then why is he wearing that toupee?

How do you know she's mad, Brutus? She always looks like that.

Thursday, January 19, 2023

Just Don't

I watched the first two episodes of the Night Court reboot? Revival? Whatever you want to call it. While I don't believe this series is anywhere near or will become the classic the original 1984-1992 series was, it wasn't that bad. Starring Melissa Rauch (The Big Bang Theory) and John Larroquette, Rauch plays Judge Abigail "Abby" Stone, the daughter of former night court judge Harry Stone. Abby is just as optimistic as her father and it's a shame that the court system is just as jaded as it was back in the 80s. I get these are TV shows but still.

Judge Stone persuades former Assistant District Attorney Dan Fielding (Larroquette) to return to the night court as a public defender. He makes it clear that this is only temporary. Larroquette is still adeptly able to play Dan Fielding and his droll wit, yelps, and physical comedy harken back to those original nine seasons. Abby and Dan are joined by ADA Olivia (India de Beaufort), court clerk Neil (Kapir Talwalkar), and bailiff Donna "Gurgs" Gurganous (Lacretta). Apparently, no one has a last name.

The cast is all good. Like I said, this show has potential and my major criticisms could all be washed away in a couple episodes. First, we don't really know the characters. What little we know about them really came from a psychic that was being arraigned shortly after the show began. In the original series, we learned about the characters through the way they talked to each other when discussing the newly appointed judge. And keep in mind that 3 of those 6 characters would be gone by the end of the second season. The other thing is they relied way to heavily on the original series. The pilot was filled with nods and inside jokes from the original series that would pass over the heads of people who aren't familiar with the show. This was tamed down with the second episode but it's strange that the spirit of Judge Harry Stone (or Harry Anderson) hangs so heavy on the series. Again, all that could change next week.

One scene, when Abby was trying to convince Dan to return to the night court and he asks "Why me?" Taking a beat, Abby responds "Because there's no one else." A sad reminder of the passing of both Anderson and Markie Post, who played public defender Christine Sullivan.

I recommend checking this series out (Tuesday at 7PM CST on NBC, streaming next day on Peacock), if only to see how it expands and improves on the original series, which is very outdated in a lot of ways. But I also recommend the original show which you can find on FreeVee.

October 25, 1973
Is Brutus really going to buy clothes from guys that wear those pants? And that tie? The 70s were wild, man!

I'm assuming that it's not really Brutus' job to care about the tea cozy designs, it's just his job to help sell them. You would think that Brutus would've already been yelled at about sharing his opinions and that he would just stop doing that.

Some people never learn...

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Wilberforce Wednesday

October 29, 1973
Wilberforce (or Wilberforse, for some reason) is getting some good ricochet on that rock.

I don't see what the problem is. As long as he eats the bread, what's the harm in what he's doing?

Ugh. This Wilberforce. I prefer the one using a slingshot. This Wilberforce would never use a slingshot.

Tuesday, January 17, 2023


October 24, 1973
Ichabod Burnlash--the most trusted voice from Cleveland to Chagrin Falls to Aurora to Kent. The western side of Cleveland aren't fans.

So people can read the speech bubbles in this universe? That's gotta be aggravating. How often do you think people hit their heads on them? Do they just fade away on their own or do you have to throw them away? I picture them made of Styrofoam which means they will never degrade in that landfill.

So Gladys is 44? Just say 44. I thought we as a society were past lying about our ages.

Why is Wilberforce even asking about Gladys' age anyway? He's acting suspicious.

Monday, January 16, 2023

Her Parents Are More Patient With Her When Company Is Over

Brutus gets the tail, Gladys has the face. Those look like decent sized pieces of haddock. I don't know why you would want more than what you have right there on the plate.

Uncle Jack sounds like fun. Too bad we won't get to meet him.

Sunday, January 15, 2023

Hey, Uncle Ted, Time for Chili ⏰

December 2, 1984
I love ice cream--I look at it the same way Hattie is in the fourth panel--but if someone gave me an ice cream cone and walked it to me for my birthday, I don't think I'd appreciate it all that much.

I mean, I'd still be grateful and would definitely eat it. I'm not a monster.

Nothing spicier than cottage cheese? This chili is going to kill you, Uncle Ted. Which is fine, I guess. I am getting a little tired of you.

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Three German Goofy Comics

I can't remember where I got this comic book from. It was either an antique store or one of those brown bag grab bag things. Either way, it was a huge waste of money (although I'm pretty sure it was at most a dollar) considering I don't read German.

Thankfully, through advances in technology and not through just learning another language, I can now read and present this comic. Starting with the cover, this is the first issue of the third volume which came out in 1983. I don't know if the guy Goofy is obsessing over is supposed to be someone we (Germans) recognize or just generic nice hair that Goofy doesn't have. But he's trying and he's happy. That's really all that matters.

The first story is Ein Hungerbauch, or A Hungry Belly. Goofy is wandering around town looking for employment and winds up at a circus who just so happens to have a job opening. The ringmaster(?) or circus owner, who looks very shady and has resting tied-a-woman-to-train-tracks face, offers Goofy Karl's job. Karl's job was to eat. A lot.

Goofy: "Do you have a job for me?"

Ringmaster: "Depends. Do you like to eat?"
All Goofy has to do is eat six pounds of spaghetti, 57 meatballs, and ten scoops of raspberry ice cream every hour. Goofy is thrilled and is excited to tell is friends, Mickey, Minnie, and Clarabelle. The three of them are also excited to support their friend.
Goofy: "Hello, there you all are! I have something to tell you!
Mickey, Minnie, and Clarabelle arrive at the circus to watch Goofy. This is his sixth performance of the day but Goofy happily scarfs the food down. I'm a huge Goofy fan but I don't recall one of his things being able to eat a lot. Not like Jughead or Shaggy.
I don't think I need to translate this panel.
Goofy finishes his performance, gets a round of applause. Goofy then meets up with his friends and they begin leaving the circus. The ringmaster stops Goofy, saying that he has another show in an hour. Goofy shouts back that he's going to lunch with his friends. The end.
Ringmaster: "Hey, Wait a moment! Where are you going? The next
show is in an hour!"

The next story is Ein Echter Huttrick, or A Real Hat Trick. Goofy is going to perform magic at the Police Ball and he's showing Mickey and Officer O'Hara (I'm assuming that's his name. I've seen him before and think that's his name. I'm not looking it up.) his trick of cracking an egg into his hat, saying "Abracadabra" and watching it turn into a chick.
Goofy: "I'll show you my trick for the police ball again."

At the ball, Goofy starts to get stage fright as he watches the juggler perform. Mickey assures him that he'll do just fine. Elsewhere, a thief is being bold and robbing the cloakroom being used by the police officers. When someone catches him, the thief runs away and hides under Goofy's magic table. Goofy wheels his table out on stage to perform his trick. He cracks the egg into the hat which startles the thief (so that's how they do it).
Goofy: "Abracadabra, three times a black cat! An egg in two in with it.
What comes next?"

Now covered in egg, the thief exposes himself as being under the table and is quickly arrested. Unfortunately, Goofy was unable to finish his trick. Mickey, hearing applause, drags Goofy back on stage. The cops loved the trick because magic was used to apprehend a criminal. Hooray, brave Goofy! The end.
Stage Worker: "That's him! The pickpocket from the wardrobe! Hold
tight! Well done!"

The last, and longest story, is Die Schlafmütze, or The Sleepyhead. Mickey and Goofy are at some old house on a coastal cliff--it's explained they are cleaning it so it can be sold but whatever. As Mickey goes to sleep, Goofy decides to stay up and watch a talk show. Meanwhile, some shady sailors are making their way to the house. Back at the house, the talk show Goofy is watching has on a hypnotist. I bet you can all figure out where we're going from here.
I'm not translating that stupid narration box.
Mickey: "Oh man, I'm dead tired. I think I'm going to lie down, Goofy."

Goofy: "Do that! I'm going to finish watching the talk show."

The hypnotist on TV winds up hypnotizing Goofy into falling asleep whenever he hears the word...goofy. The shady sailors arrive at the house which wakes Mickey up. He wakes Goofy up and they go to the basement to see what the commotion is. Remember, Goofy falls asleep whenever he hears his name. Down in the basement, the pirates have a device that can dissolve stone, concrete, steel, whatever so they can get to a hidden submarine. Their plan is to travel underwater and use the dissolving gun to enter ships and rob them. It makes sense except for the part of them being underwater.
Pirate Captain: "Here! The sound waves simply dissolve stone, 
concrete and steel, and..."

Pirate sidekick: "There is a hole in the stone! Great thing, that!"

Mickey wants to go get some help but accidentally puts Goofy to sleep. Mickey is then captured by the pirates, Goofy wakes up, Goofy falls asleep again, Goofy wakes back up, and is tossed the dissolver gun. He uses it to trap the other two pirates in a hole and then falls asleep again. The pirates steal the dissolving gun and make their getaway in the sub. Mickey knocks some rocks into the water, trapping the pirates. Goofy realizes he must be hypnotized and Mickey starts calling Goofy Donald so he doesn't fall asleep anymore. Goofy, I guess, is cursed with this affliction now. The end.
Mickey: "Well, as the poet says, Good duck, all good, Donald!"

Goofy: "Donald? Listen, Mickey, I think my parents somehow baptized me
differently when I was little."