Thursday, December 31, 2020


The clock says 9 so either it is 5 in the freaking morning or it's 5 in the evening and Brutus went the entire day not noticing the clock was wrong. Either way, it's terrible. Does Chip and his wife actually toot horns, bang pots, and yell out of the window at midnight on New Year's Day? If so, their neighbors must love them.

I will be taking a hiatus from this website for awhile. I need to get hard at work on my book and the various other things I'm writing since 2020 was so lax in what I was writing. I will still be active with my writing and research on the Tauy Creek Facebook Page and on my Twitter. Thanks for reading over the last couple of months and I hope you will follow me on social media if you don't already. If you would like to support what I do, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

You Don't Have to Go Home But You Can't Stay Here

"And then I had to climb over the fence because they closed and locked the gate to parking lot and because my car was parked in the lot, I had to walk home and it was through a bad part of town. My briefcase got stolen. A 1991 Honda Civic with no hood almost ran over my hat.

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

Weak Coffee With Cream

Brutus says this at least twice a year. Just like whenever Brutus loses his reading glasses and he finds them on top of his head he says "If they'd've been a snake, they'd've bit me." It's just something married couples tolerate about each other.

I wish the unknown colorist would've chosen a darker brown for the coffee. It looks like dirty water or Gladys already poured in cream and sugar and just stirred it around in the carafe.

Monday, December 28, 2020

It's 2020, Everyday Is a Monday Anyway

"I mean the days as in the date, not what day of the week it is...You know what, fine. I won't get you a calendar."

Oh, come on Brutus. Get yourself a calendar. Get one with dogs on it or Hello Kitty. They also brought back the Far Side calendar for 2021.

Sunday, December 27, 2020

Christmas Magic

Commenter on The Born Loser GoComics page: "If I don't have the cash, I do NOT buy that item." You must be fun at parties.

Why would the credit card company take action that quickly? It takes a few months of incessant emails, purposeful ghosting, and intrusive phone calls before the card company does anything--and typically they just sell your debt to another company and then it's like "No, my debt was with Banking First America, not with Benes and Associates LLC. How is this legal? Can I sell my debt to another person and they can handle this?"

Saturday, December 26, 2020

Theodore Paul Thornapple

I don't know what's sadder: That Brutus believes he should have family pride, that Uncle Ted has to use a laundromat, or that Uncle Ted has his clothes stolen from said laundromat.

Friday, December 25, 2020

He Knows When You Are Sleeping


As Brutus puts his Santa hat back into the hall closest until next year, he chuckles. "Do you think Santa minds...Heh, that's funny." Brutus gets into bed and begins to fall asleep. Downstairs, the back door creaks open and a man, clad in red, entered. With him, in his black gloved hand, was an already bloodied knife...

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Ghosts of Christmas Parents

Over the years, I've always joked that Hurricane Hattie doesn't have parents--they've abandoned her or died long ago--and that she lives as a squatter in the house they all used to live in. This comic proves that her parents have died but are now ghosts, forever trapped in the house and raising their daughter as best as spectral beings can. I come to this conclusion because of the really wavy speech bubble tail coming from off-panel.

Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Hot Cocoa With the Ladies

Oh, just give her the marshmallows. It's just easier.

Where are Brutus and Wilberforce? Why isn't Gladys giving her loving husband and son a mug of hot chocolate? Maybe they are out shopping for a Christmas present for her. Hope she likes more bad Christmas sweaters or a robe.

Tank N Tummy #22

There was a light, wet snow on the ground as Dominic headed to work at the Tank N Tummy. When he got there, Ryan was finishing shoveling the sidewalk and parking lot and was sprinkling de-icer everywhere. The little bits of sodium chloride crunched beneath Dominic’s shoes. “Hey, Ryan,” Dominic sighed.

“You okay? You seem out of it.”

“I think there must be something wrong with me. I’m just not in the holiday spirit. I usually like Christmas but not this year,” Dominic said. The two of them went into the store. Aaron was behind the counter. Ryan tossed the bag of ice melt behind the counter and he and Dominic continued walking toward the dairy case. “Maybe I’m just depressed this Christmas. I’m getting tired of giving and getting presents. I don’t know. The days aren’t as long anymore. It gets dark sooner.”

“Have you put up your Christmas tree?” Ryan asked. “I put mine up a week ago. I’ve felt better ever since.”

“It’s just a small tabletop one. I put it up but I’m still not happy,” Dominic said.

“Oh my God, it’s the Christmas season,” Aaron said. “It’s been such a rough year; can we just ignore all the famine and pestilence for a bit. Let’s just focus on Christmas.”

Dominic went behind the counter while Ryan swept up the mess they and the customers brought in from the outside. They worked in silence for a bit, Ryan still cleaning and Aaron and Dominic checking out customers. MaryJane came into the store, “’Sup, sluts?” she greeted everyone in her usual manner and went over to the soda fountains. She got her daily fifty-two ounces and went up to the counter. “What’s wrong, Dominic?”

“He’s sad,” Ryan said.

“Sad? How can you be sad? It’s Christmas!” MaryJane whooped.

Dominic just stared at her.

“Maybe you should put up your Christmas tree,” MaryJane suggested.

“Already did.”

“Have you given or received any Christmas cards?” MaryJane suggested. “Getting Christmas cards in the mail usually cheers me up.”

“No, I haven’t,” Dominic sighed.

“Maybe you just need to do something Christmas-y. How about you ask Harvey if you can direct the Tank N Tummy Christmas talent show?”

“How do you know about the talent show?” Ryan asked.

“How do you know Harvey is looking for a director for it?” Dominic asked.

MaryJane went silent then pshawed and waved her hand at them. “It’s an annual tradition. Remember, you asked me to join you three years ago when you performed Jingle Bells dressed as trains?”

“I’m gonna need to see a picture of that,” Aaron raised his hand.

“Directing the talent show might be a good idea. I’m doing a one-man skit about Santa Claus similar to the 2000-year-old man,” Ryan said. “I think it’ll be good.”

“I guess I could ask about it,” Dominic shrugged. “It might cheer me up a little.”

“There you go! Problem solved,” Ryan said.

“I will mention you personally in my suicide note,” Dominic groaned.

Later that day, Dominic was walking down the street on his way to where the talent show was going to be held. It hard started to snow and there was a bit of a nip in the wind. “Excuse me, mister,” a little walked up to him. Will you help me write a letter to Santa Claus?” she held a piece of paper and pencil up to Dominic.

“What? I don’t have much time. I’m supposed to get down to All-Stars Adult Club to help direct my job’s talent show,” Dominic explained.

The girl shoved the pencil and paper into Dominic’s hands. “You write it and I’ll tell you what I want to say.”

“Okay. Go ahead,” Dominic rolled his eyes.

“Dear Santa Claus. How have you been? Did you have a nice summer? How is your wife? How are your reindeer? I have been extra good this year so I have a long list of presents that I want.”

“Oh, brother,” Dominic sighed.

“Please note the size and color of each item and send as many as possible. If it is too much of a hassle, make it easy on yourself. Just send money. How about twenties and fifties?”

“Twenties and fifties? Augh!” Dominic threw up the paper and pencil and ran away.

“All I want is what’s coming to me. All I want is my fair share,” the girl said.

Every year for the talent show, Harvey rented out a strip club he liked to frequent. There was always a buffet and every employee from the five Tank N Tummies around town were there either as an audience or participants. Dominic walked into the club and heard a piano playing. His fellow employees were either seated at tables or up on-stage dancing to the music. No one really seemed able to dance. Someone was doing a Frankenstein monster move, another was just flailing their arms and head side to side, and a couple seemed to be doing some sort of Godzilla stomp. MaryJane spotted Dominic and stopped dancing.

“Alright! Quiet, quiet, quiet. Our director is here,” she said and flourished her hands toward Dominic. Only a couple people clapped.

“It’s good seeing you all here. I’ve never directed anything before but I guess I’ll just hear what your talent is and then figure out a place to put it. I guess we can all go backstage and you can all kind of audition for me and I’ll make a schedule. The important thing is that we entertain the people out there. I will be right in front of the stage giving you signals. Like, stage left or stage right. If I put the palms of my hands close together, shorten your act. If I pinch my fingers and make a straight line, it means draw out your act. I want this to be a fun night and I hope you agree with me, right?” As Dominic was talking, the music had started back up and one-by-one the people started to dance again. “I said ‘Right?’”

The employees continue dancing, ignoring Dominic. “Sorry, Dominic. This is a tough group to keep focused,” MaryJane said as twisted her body and threw up a fist with each move.

“All right, all right! Stop the music! Everybody get backstage!” Dominic ordered and within a few minutes, everyone was backstage. “Okay, divide up into what you are going to do. Singing and dancing in one line, skits in another, and miscellaneous in another.”

Everyone split up as best as possible and Dominic called up the first person. “Hi, I’m Summer from the East 16th Street location. I’m going to do the Evolution of Dance,” Summer began wagging her legs and gyrating her hips like Elvis.

“Cool. Can’t wait to see it with music.”

“I don’t use music. It distracts me,” Summer said.

“O…kay,” Dominic sighed. “Ryan, what are you doing again?”

“Something like the 2000-year-old man only the 2000-year-old man is Santa Claus,” he explained. “I moved to the North Pole before it was cool. Get it? It’s a commentary on the continents shifting and…”

“Yeah, that’s great, Ryan. Next,” a woman stepped forward. “Hey, Alice. What are you going to do?”

“I am going to be juggling to ‘If the Devil Danced In Empty Pockets’ by Joe Diffie. It’s something I’ve been working on the last two years. In between all my cross-stitching, of course.”

“Of course.”

“I will be performing the classic show tune ‘Steam Heat’ from the stage play and film ‘The Pajama Game’,” MaryJane stepped forward toward Dominic. “While I’m singing, I will be wearing a body suit of balloons that I will be popping with a cigarette.”

“You don’t even work for Tank N Tummy. What are you even doing here?” Dominic asked.

“I explained my routine to Harvey and he seemed excited about it. ‘It is a strip club,’” MaryJane mimicked Harvey’s strange accent. “His words.” Dominic sighed again. “Next.”

“I’m Leonard, from the Perry Street location. I’m going to do my taekwondo black belt routine,” Leonard was a tall man with long hair and a long beard and a deep, monotone voice. Giyaaah-hah!” he screamed while making an attack move toward Dominic.

“Thank you, Leonard,” Dominic said. “Next.”

Leonard walked by Ryan and looked at him. “Hi. Do you know when you are going to die?”

“No…” Ryan replied.

“’Cuz I do,” Leonard walked off.

“I’m Dennis from the Iowa Street location. I’m going to do a comedy routine that has jokes and impressions,” Dennis explained.

“Cool. Can I hear one?”

“Sure. Give me a second…” Dennis turned around for a second then turned back around. His thumbs were pulling back his eyes and he jutted his top teeth out. “Herro! I’m Dong! I’m so happy to be heel,” he said.

“You’re fired,” Dominic said.

“You can’t fire me,” Dennis said.

“I can fire you from the talent show. Your talent tonight is being part of the audience. Before we move to the next talent, does anyone have a Christmas themed talent? So far we have karate, juggling to country music, and a striptease. The only thing remotely Christmas or holiday related is Ryan’s Santa Claus skit and it’s going to be terrible. There aren’t even any decorations up,” Dominic pointed out.

“Yes, there is. The banner out there that says ‘Christmas Talent Show’,” Ryan said.

“The letters are in black Times New Roman and spread across twelve pieces of paper taped together. There’s not even a tree.”

“That’s it, Dominic,” MaryJane said. “Why don’t you go out and find a Christmas tree? There’s a Christmas tree lot a few blocks away. Just get a nice tree we could put in the corner of the stage. We’ll see if we can find some lights or something. Ryan, go with him.”

Dominic and Ryan left the strip club and began walking to the Christmas tree lot. The lot had numerous trees about Ryan’s height and some taller. “What kind of tree should we get?”

“I don’t have any money so let’s find out,” Dominic walked over to the man smoking behind the counter of a beat-up booth. A sign above the man read ‘Christmas trees for sale’ and on the booth it read ‘The tree man is in’ with ‘in’ being a piece of paper you could turn around. “What kind of tree can I get for…thirteen seventy-four?”

“Well, not much. Most trees start at $25 but I suppose I’ll let you have that tree over there for $13,” the man pointed to a short and sad tree with weak branches and very sparse needles. It was held standing by wires connected to boards of wood.

“That’s a pretty pathetic tree. I’ll give you $7,” Dominic said.


“The Christmas spirit is so heartwarming,” Ryan rolled his eyes.

“Do you have any money so we can buy a better tree?”


“Then shut up. Besides, this isn’t a bad little tree. It just needs a little love. Besides, like all these other trees, it’ll be dead soon anyway.”

“So heartwarming.”

“Boy, are you a blockhead,” a woman said when Dominic and Ryan returned with the tree.

“That’s rude. I don’t even know who you are,” Dominic said.

“Nelina. I work at the Perry Street location.”

“She’s why I am the way I am,” Leonard interjected.

“Okay. This was all I could afford. I only had $13 and nobody gave me any money for a better one,” Dominic explained. “Besides, it’s not a bad tree.”

“You’ve been dumb before, but this time you really did it.”

“Okay, Nelina. Again, we don’t know each other.”

“Do you want me to tell you what Christmas is all about?” Ryan asked.

“No. No, Ryan. I know what Christmas is all about. And this isn’t it. I’m going home. I’m going to take this little tree home and put some decorations on it.” Dominic arrived home at his apartment, carrying his tree. He fumbled for his keys and a trill come from his feet. He looked down and saw a cat sitting and looking up at him. “Hey, Cat-Cat. What are you doing out here?” He sat the tree and picked Cat-Cat up. He went to the end of the hallway and knocked on the door to the apartment Cat-Cat belonged to. No one answered and he knocked louder.

“He moved out,” a neighbor said, walking up to her apartment door across the hall.

“He moved out? When?”

“About a week ago.”

“He left his cat here just to wander the apartment building?”

“I guess so. Sorry, Cat-Cat,” she scratched his head and he purred louder.

“Well, I guess you can stay with me. Everyone deserves a warm place for Christmas. Come on, Cat-Cat, let’s get inside.” Dominic unlocked his door, picked the tree back up and went inside.  ▩

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Ride the Little Train

Having a moving toy train underneath your Christmas is awesome. I wish I had one but I have dogs and cats. Hey, wait a minute! The Thornapple tree is already up and ready to go as evidenced in Sunday's strip. Seems odd to get an entirely new tree just three days before Christmas.

Monday, December 21, 2020

Every Day Is Long With Brutus

It's not the shortest day of the year. The day still has 24 hours in it, there's just the shortest amount of sun. Luckily, our daylight will start getting longer tomorrow and soon we'll all be back to normal until Daylight Saving when we all get screwed over again. 😒

Sunday, December 20, 2020

Gladvent Calendar

It's time for another Captain Kid adventure! Since the last time we saw Captain Kid, he apparently has been afflicted with whatever disease Popeye has that makes his forearms and shins abnormally large.

It also looks like his hands have some kind of reverse-vitaligo. Maybe he's just wearing gloves but it's very strange looking.

"Oh, Captain Kid, take my hand. Ugh, your hand is all leathery. Is that a leather mitten or has your hand died and somehow atrophied into this?"

There may not be such things as ghosts but clearly there are such things as demon gremlins.

It's probably just some guy in a costume trying to commit real estate fraud. It happens a lot.

Captain Kid has the same discoloration on his feet. Matching mittens and boots? Still strange.

I am already on board with this villain. I can't wait until he twists the head off of Captain Kid.

No one has ever heard of the Ogre of Haunted Mansion? You would think that would come up when talking about Swatsville. "Yes, yes. Here is our historic city hall, the old waistshirt building, the veteran's park, and the haunted mansion. It has an ogre, you know. Now, the pizza place does a pizza in the likeness of the ogre..."

That piece of fabric doesn't really do a good job covering up his bits. Makes me wonder why the artist even bothered drawing it.

What's Captain Kid going to do? Clearly wallow in self-despair. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.

The ogre is going to cook Betty Mae in the fireplace? Is he going to skewer her like you do when you roast a pig?

Is it me or could Betty Mae get out of those ropes pretty easily?

Now you've done it you big, mean ogre! Captain Kid now has a knife!

Oh, it is a man. And the big reveal is over in just three pages.

Oh, cool. And it looks like he's a racist caricature of an Asian person. That's always good.

If we've learned anything from our last story, Captain Kid hates snakes. At least these snakes kind of dangerous unlike the cute things we saw before.
Aww. So cute. This art is so much better as well.

That's not much of a pit of someone is just able to jump out of it.

So Captain Kid can jump out of that pit but this guy can't? What?

This guy couldn't tell the difference between water and oil? I thought the oil was underneath the town or underneath the creek at least. No, this moron literally thought there was river of oil going through the town? If that's true then he deserved to die.

And the story is over. That was quick. Funny that the kids learned about the "oil" and were like "well, we'll just take it!"

I'm always confused by young characters who have girlfriends but get embarrassed or confused when their girlfriends kiss them. That's what you do, you donks. Especially when you save them from being cooked and a pit of snakes.

If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Yes, yes, Gladys couldn't not eat the chocolate in the advent calendar. We all saw that coming. That is one festive tree. I love it. There's ornaments, lights, stars, and gingerbread men. It's such a nice color of green as well. Today's comic strip is a nice, colorful, and refreshing respite after the awfulness that was the Captain Kid comic.

Saturday, December 19, 2020

Yummy, Yummy, Yummy...

Gladys brings up a good point. Support your local restaurants during this trying time. If we don't support them by ordering delivery or carry-out, they might not make it.

What I don't agree with Gladys about is throwing the meal that a restaurant made onto plates, setting the table, and wearing a damn chef's hat in order to pass off the food as your own but letting the cat out of the bag almost immediately.

Friday, December 18, 2020

Solo: An Uncle Ted Story

I'm not on board with this Uncle Ted-heavy strip.

How can your bifocals be upside down? Surely you didn't put them on upside down. Are they new glasses and the eye doctor put them in upside down? I's comic seems irresponsible, honestly.

Thursday, December 17, 2020

Please Stop Fighting 😢 It's the Holidays

I can't ever tell which one is more of a petulant child. I also can't understand why Brutus always has to be the one to lose all of their marital spats. It's not the 1960s anymore. Husbands are allowed to win arguments every once in a while.

Wednesday, December 16, 2020


Are there people who celebrate each and every pointless made-up "holiday"? Like, they eat pizza on National Pizza Day or a cheeseburger on National Cheeseburger Day? I understand these days are, I'm just going to call them important even though they aren't, in order for all of us to relate to each other on social media but sometimes, I swear.

Also, it's National Barbie and Barney Backlash Day but I don't see any comic strips about that.

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Tartan Sauce

So did the name get changed to Thornapple when arriving at Ellis Island or did a McLoser marry into the Thornapple family?

A scarf Brutus can only wear at a certain time of year. Gladys should've got Brutus a kilt!

Monday, December 14, 2020

Brutus Doesn't Want to Go

Veeblefester is well aware that he doesn't need you, Brutus. I think he just keeps you around because he can delegate all the work he doesn't want to do to you for a very low price. He also just keeps you around as some sort of jester or entertainment monkey.

Sunday, December 13, 2020


Nick at Nite is known for originally hosting old TV shows from the 1950s through the 1970s. Then it became known for old TV shows from the 1980s through the 2000s. Now, it has a lot of original programming and I really don't know what they do now. In 1995, Nick at Nite published a magazine. There was only one issue and was published in conjunction with Nick at Nite's 10th anniversary. Let's see what classic TV goodness it gives us.

The magazine starts off with a timeline of television history from the birth of the word 'television' (1900) to the birth of Nick at Nite (1985). They also reveal what several classic TV stars first jobs were before making it big: Judd Hirsch was in a Listerine commercial, Agnes Moorehead was in Citizen Kane, Bob Denver worked in a grocery store, and Jackie Gleason was a diver(!) in the water follies. There's also a handy guide to the 39 countries where I Love Lucy airs so you know where you will never be without I Love Lucy. Sheila James Kuehl (Zelda, The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis), Clint Eastwood, Nancy Kulp (Ms. Hathaway, Beverly Hillbillies), Sonny Bono, and Fred Gandy (Gopher, The Love Boat) all ran for political office. Kuehl, Eastwood, Bono, and Grandy won their races. Kuehl continues to serve on the Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors and was the first openly gay California legislator. Eastwood served as mayor of Carmel, California from 1986 to 1988. Bono would represent California's 44th district in the House of Representatives from 1995 until his death in 1998. Grandy would represent Iowa in the House of Representative from 1987 to 1995 and unsuccessfully run for governor. Nancy Kulp would run for the House of Representatives in Pennsylvania in 1984. A Democrat in a heavily Republican district, Kulp was an underdog and her chances faded even more when former co-star Buddy Ebsen recorded radio ads attacking her. She lost with 33% of the vote.

We then have an overview of actor Michael Burns who began acting in an episode of The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis and would go on to play Blue Boy in "The LSD Story" of Dragnet 1967. Burns is currently a professor emeritus of history at Holyoke University. The magazine then gives you a short scene from Blue Boy and finger puppets.

Yes, they even give you cubes of LSD.

The original idea of several shows are revealed including The Dick Van Dyke ShowMary Tyler MooreTaxi, and The Partridge Family. Nick at Nite then adds lyrics to various instrumental-only theme songs thus ruining them forever. Nick at Nite then gives the TV history of counter culture (hippies, beatniks).

There is an article on fashion and how today's designers go back to classic TV for some inspiration. There's then an article on negative reviews that classic TV shows received. "The stinkeroo of all time!" (1964 review of Gilligan's Island, 1964-1967). "Show's chances look slim." (1970 review of The Partridge Family, 1970-1974). "Should soon be extinct from Nielsen malnutrition." (1969 review of The Brady Bunch, 1969-1974). "Should sell a lot of cigarettes." (1951 review of I Love Lucy, 1951-1957).

We have a Barbara Eden as Jeannie pull-out
poster for the guys.

And a John Travolta as Vinnie Barbarino pull-out poster for the ladies.

They do an interview with TV show collector James Comisar who has memorabilia from The Honeymooners, Dragnet, Batman, Get Smart, and dozens of other shows. It's actually quite interesting. You can learn and see much more at his website.

A reprint of the very first Dobie Gillis story takes up five pages and is the longest feature in this magazine which is very disappointing considering all the material Nick at Nite had to work with. There is an article on "lost" TV episodes featuring original Honeymooners sketches, the 1966-69 version of Doctor Who, a couple of pilots, and more. Plus, last but not least, six degrees of separation of a bunch of TV stars.

The magazine ends with a 10th anniversary examination that you mail in to get a Nick at Nite merit badge. My mom filled it out, got every answer right, and didn't mail it in! We could've been royalty but instead our lives remained the same.

The 37 greatest episodes ever!

If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

I'm covering all my bases. I'm asking for 37 things this year along with my usual request for cold, hard cash and I want to make sure I get everything. If you and Santa somehow get me the same stuff, we can just return it and get me something I didn't get from the list. 2020 sucked butt and I refuse to have 2021 suck the same way.