In the Red

October 22, 1989

I'm not saying writing and drawing a daily comic strip (nearly) every day for 59 years is easy, but this gag was used four years ago. I do appreciate this strip more because of the different angles used, the shot of the house, and whatever is going on in the fourth panel.

Maybe this is payback for when Mother Gargle did this. Brutus was just waiting--biding his time--until she forgot about Brutus' birthday four years ago.

This is serious, Gladys. We could be homeless within six months. We've already had to sell Wilberforce which is why he was out eating with us the other day. And I just don't think we'd get much money for either of us if it came down to that.

It's nice that on this Easter holiday, we are reminded how tenuous our lifestyles really are. How many of us are one paycheck or one bill away from being cast out onto the street? Capitalism has turned us into a country of born losers.

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Just the Fax, Brutus

September 8, 1965

Finally, some action at this golf course. Did you specifically bring those cymbals or do you always carry those around with you? This guy was going to receive both the Club Championship Trophy and the Senior Club Championship Trophy (He won both!) but now he will just be embarrassed in front of a large and distinguished group.

Uncle Ted, you are not that old. Also, this joke doesn't make sense because the fax machine was invented in 1843. Faxes became more prevalent in the 1920s and 1930s and the first commercial fax machine (basically what we use now) was made in 1964.

If Uncle Ted ever had to transfer files, the documents were probably on carbon paper or photocopied, which was invented in 1938. I've had to fax exactly one thing in my life and I did not like it. Just take this email I sent you with a scan I made from my phone, thank you very much.

Casual

September 7, 1965

You can look all you want, dude, but Wilma here is never going to leave Fred.

What's up with that tree? Is it a portal to another dimension? Are there schlubs like this guy there? Maybe Gloria should check it out.

"I was born dressed like Mr. Peanut and I will die dressed like Mr. Peanut!"

Corporations believe that their employees would rather be able to wear jeans to work than get paid what they're worth. "Here's your Friday Pizza and Jeans Day! Try not to think about how much you get paid compared to those above you who do less!"

Wilberforce F. Thornapple

September 4, 1965

Did...Did Brutus ring the doorbell? Why? It's his house.

Why are you getting upset, Brutus? You can't do math either.

Wilberforce is going to be sent to bed without his dinner again. And he just got invited back.

I've Always Been Wary of Echo Point

After catching the Black Fox, Doctor Doom shows up wanting the old man for some reason. Spider-Man then tries to protect the Black Fox but it doesn't go well.

Also, Peter is reunited with Uncle Ben.

Check out my post on Amazing Spider-Man #350.

September 3, 1965

I absolutely hope that he is showing his boss his film, slides, whatever, and now his boss is making out with his wife in the dark. I doubt that's what's going on--it looks like a daughter or something which honestly is just as bad, maybe worse.

Special guest commentary by ChatGPT: In today's "Born Loser" comic strip, we find Brutus venturing into the technologically enhanced wilderness of Echo Point. But wait, what's this? A sign proudly proclaiming, "Now enhanced with AI." Well, isn't that just what we all need? Even our scenic overlooks are now getting algorithmically upgraded. Because nothing says "nature appreciation" quite like knowing there's a computer somewhere crunching data to enhance your view of a tree. Congratulations, Echo Point, you've officially been digitized. Now, if only they could enhance Brutus with a bit of common sense, we might actually have something worth celebrating.

ChatGPT really hates Brutus apparently. If ChatGPT knew that Echo Point didn't have a guardrail, it'd probably tell Brutus to continue walking. Anyway, now AI is stealing our voices when we yell into the abyss so I think we've entered the eighth circle of Hell.

Brutus Is Just Trying to Get Medicinal Marijuana

September 2, 1965

Tom Landry, watch out!!

These days we know the blind side as a 2009 movie starring Sandra Bullock as someone who would be a terrible person, but the actual blind side is where a right-handed quarterback can't see if anything is coming over his left shoulder. I would assume a left-handed quarterback would have the same blind side just on his right side. I'm guessing this is funny because Not Tom Landy was hit by the door in his blind side.

So Brutus is going to see a divorce lawyer? Or...a hitman? I'd go the hitman route first.

Why Don't You Both Hush Up?

September 1, 1965

It's going to be fun seeing how many jobs this proto-Brutus has. Will it be more or less than Homer Simpson?

I Hear Kum & Go Will Be Available Soon

October 1, 1989

Brutus didn't have to say anything. Gladys was clearly asleep, just get up and brush your teeth. Or wait until morning. One thing I try not to do when having to get up in the middle of the night is wake the other people in the house up.

Cool. This place just went down a notch from "diner food" to "gas station food". We have a gas station that serves some food. Apparently they have really good biscuits and gravy. So people are just going to leave their cars at the pumps while they eat? That seems inconvenient.

As for a catchy slogan, I think people will notice the changes based on the newly installed gas pumps.

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Tasty, Terrific Pizza

August 31, 1965

Bemus Point is a village in New York. I'm guessing Art spent some vacations there or something. Maybe he had a second family. This family looks terrible. I hope this isn't what the Mobley family looks like because I absolutely hate them. Especially the screaming/crying one in the foreground.

I love the sexist ass question "How do you make yourself pretty...?" Your husband should love you no matter what you look like. Besides, you're the one at home raising his five damn kids while he's basically having a party at work. She should take that vacation to Bemus Point by herself.

Just let Uncle Ted eat, Brutus! How about we don't turn every little thing into a "you shouldn't eat that" argument? Just let people eat!

Thanks for holding the pizza that way, Uncle Ted. People need to know you are holding a pizza, even if it does mean your toppings are going to slide to one side.

Friday Quickies

August 30, 1965

This happens a lot...

At least somebody is going to show up and help this guy, because I'm pretty sure the guy in the above link died.

I don't know about you but I absolutely would not wear a shirt that read "XXL".

Better, Better, Better

August 27, 1965

Those guns seem awfully close to him. I guess they want to make sure this guy dies despite the firing squad being the most reliable, quickest and possibly least painful way to be executed.

He should really be restrained.

How is Brutus so bad at his job? He's in sales. You make phone calls and send papers over to the accounting department--at least that's how it's shown in The Office. I have never and absolutely will never work in sales so all I learn about it is from pop culture.

Apple Dapple

Take a look at the clothes and comics from Gladys Parker. She would work on Gay and Her Gals, Flapper Fanny, and create her own long-running strip, Mopsy. You can check out this post from 2022 here.

August 25, 1965

Well, now everyone is looking at him because he's drawing attention to himself. Stop that. If you don't want to be perceived, don't do anything that draws eyes toward you like talking at a normal volume or loudly playing a game on your phone, you dumb middle schoolers!

I love gala apples. Which is very shocking for me to say since I am not a fan of apples.

I am also not a fan of how some of the apples change color between panels. The abused intern who colored today's strip was clearly dozing off on this one.

Mr. Yellow Shirt

Breaking Cat News, March 18, 2024

Look, I hate-read legacy comics like Dennis the Menace, Hi and Lois, and, obviously, The Born Loser all the time, but this is a good take on what is happening to the ever-shrinking comics page because of the ever-shrinking number of newspapers. You can read the article sourced here, and be sure to check out some women-created comics that are listed in it.

August 24, 1965

Jesus Christ, dude. That's not the face of someone determined to ask for a raise but of someone who's going to open fire in the mailroom or from a window on the top floor.

I know those black things on the desk are telephones but they look like cats--like little black maneki-neko cats.

Gladys spends all day at home. How much more does she have to clean?

Yeah, like she's not going to look in the closets.

"Prepare for Disappointment" Don't Book a Cruise

August 23, 1965

Proto-Brutus had the opportunity to pay after the cruise but instead opted to pay cash upfront like an idiot. I mean, I think you typically get a refund if the cruise ship freaking sinks but that's just according to some quick internet searching.

Are Proto-Brutus and Proto-Gladys survivors of the Andrea Doria?

I've gotten a fortune cookie like that once. I ignored it. The next one I got said something about friends and I ignored that one too because I don't have friends.

Wilberforce doesn't get Chinese food?

1-900-Brutus

August 27, 1989

Why isn't there already a glass of water on the table? This is basic restaurant 101. A glass of water was the norm even back in 1989, right?

I don't take my phone to bed. I have a watch but only specific people can actually ring through. My boss would not be one of them.

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Good News/Bad News

August 21, 1965

Good news! At least this oasis isn't a mirage. Bad news! This guy is still going to die.

Good news! Uncle Ted has never had to use memory aid pills. Bad news! Uncle Ted sundowns earlier and earlier every day.

Shakespeare Didn't Say That

August 20, 1965

This would be my luck. I'd be sent to prison and when I finally orchestrate my escape that's when I'd be pardoned or my conviction vacated or something.

Of course, I would never wind up in prison so if I ever am in prison, it's because I was framed and serving time for a crime I didn't commit so me orchestrating an escape would make sense because of our deeply flawed criminal justice system.

I wonder what Smirdly did and how he got ahold of a hacksaw.

"Har, har! That's hilarious. Just put in the order and get my food."

Water, Water Everywhere

August 19, 1965

I have a lot of questions about this Noah's Ark themed strip. A turtle giving a weather report. That conventional time exists (11 P.M. weather). That news exists! That animals talk. That we're blaming a turtle for God's temper tantrum. But I can't get over that the turtle's name is Maurice Bascombe.

Oh shit! Veeblefester is on to you, Brutus! Just because you are hanging out at the work watercooler doesn't mean you are doing work. If you keep abusing the watercooler privileges, it will go away and you'll just have to start bringing your own water to work.

He Just Leaves Those Stacks of Money On the Desk?

Remember when Wilbur Weston fell overboard off a cruise ship in Mary Worth? Well, you can relive that moment in this repost that has a couple of comic strips plus a history of the temperance newspaper The Crank and where the name Wakansa came from.

August 18, 1965

I feel another Born Loser character is going to wind up tied up. I thought there were more comics where someone was tied up.

Honestly, I would just start squirting him. It would confuse and disorient him and who likes getting wet?

Doesn't Brutus have an office? This strip is very vague about that. I've always pictured Brutus in an office but I guess it's possible he's in a fairly large cubicle. Do his walls go up to the ceiling? Are they detachable?

There is a definite difference between offices and cubicles. It's not that complicated.

The Sap Runs Every March

August 17, 1965

I need more of Bernardi and His Dog. The dog is wearing a beret! The dog can talk! This is the best train ride ever!

One nitpick: I feel the Egyptologist (Robert Langdon?)'s word bubbles should be on the left and Bernardi's dog's on the right.

Making your own syrup seems like a lot of work especially considering you need ten gallons to make one damn quart. It also requires a lot of boiling. Do you own a ten gallon pot to boil sap in, Brutus? Do you?

Miss Preen Is Happy To Get Rid of Him

August 16, 1965

Dude, step back. She doesn't need you all up in her business. Everyone is standing too close to each other. I mean, I know you are mainly just passing around slips of paper with your info on them but still...

Wouldn't those pennies already be rolled up and ready to go? This should still go quicker than waiting for the ten people you were behind.

Bon voyage, Brutus Thornapple. And don't come back!

Flying to San Diego makes a lot more sense than flying to Pittsburgh from where Brutus is.

Weigh Light Saving Time

August 20, 1989

No, she really is a bad sort. She's awful. You can clearly figure out if those are cookies or not. Shake the box. Smell it. Did Mother Gargle make cookies while she was visiting?

At least it seems like the snake sprung out in the privacy of his own office.

Why would you expect that scale to work properly after all the abuse you two have been giving it?

I like the way Brutus thinks sometimes. He doesn't care about his weight. Just live your damn life.

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