End of May Quickies

October 25, 1965

Is...Is Thornapple dead? I'm just assuming and I'm guessing the cause is by how tight the blood pressure cuff looks. Hope that Popeye arm swelling goes down before the funeral.

Why doesn't Brutus want to go out? Maybe he's not allowed to go wherever they were planning to go.

"You promised to take me to the Olive Garden in Parma tonight."

"I can't go there. You know that."

Dine-flation

October 23, 1965

I thought it was pretty common knowledge that dog whistles are silent except to dogs. I think I learned that while watching Tom and Jerry or something. Maybe these boys are just idiots. I don't know.

So after just three cups, you might as well just go to Starbucks.

Brutus' smile got really big in the second panel. Is $2.29 a good price for an initial cup of coffee? I don't know. I typically get chocolate milk when I splurge and go to diners to eat. And you certainly aren't getting free refills on that.

Either Way--Eat the Rich

October 22, 1965

You may not be able to tell from these comics, but Art Sansom was quite a good illustrator. Sometimes on the Born Loser Facebook Page, Chip posts some of his father's other work. One thing he posted a few years ago was a drawing of Chip's mother, Isabel, for the cover of a local gardening magazine in 1956. It's very good.

You literally have a sack of money sitting on your deskIT'S RIGHT THERE!!

At least Veeblefester seems like one of those "I just want more money" rich guys and not one of those "I'm gonna create colonies on Mars and tour the Titanic what do you mean there is suffering in the world?" rich guys.

Perhaps a Ghost?

October 21, 1965

What is with the hats lately? There's this thing. Tall boy. Tall derby. Porkpie Thing. The Quincy Madison. Tall derby II. And feather in his cap. Today we got Not Quite Tall Boy and Butt Hat. Could the men of 1965 not figure out a standard hat to wear?

That man was fully expecting to get squirted in the face and he has never been so disappointed.

He has been weight-lifting!

I think Brutus just farted really loud coming down the stairs and is trying to lie about where the noise came from. I don't know how he intends to lie about the smell.

I Don't Think It Requires Crying...

October 20, 1965

She even took all the furniture home to mother? She even had the floor waxed so I guess she's never coming back. She had a busy day.

Memorial Day is for those veterans who are no longer here--make sure you make that distinction or else you will get yelled at on social media. I'm sure Great-Grandpa Jim is very happy that Wilberforce is wearing the cap that he killed fitty men in. Such an honor.

No Signature Ring-A-Ding Sauce?

The Winters family are just simple farmers and this is their last night alive. From Tauy Creek Digest #56, "Winter".

February 2, 1986

Did the good rev'rund pick Brutus' pocket? That tracks, honestly. Good ol' fashioned religious shakedown.

Why are all these sauces seem so spicy? Where are all the Zings and Wangos and Tangys? Where are the normal blue cheese, barbecue, honey mustard, and ranch-based sauces? I still want to be able to taste and see color when I'm done eating wings.

It's summer! If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Only 9 Players?

October 19, 1965

Was Alvin smoking the pipe and then quickly shoved the pipe into the dog's mouth to blame it? That dog does not look like he enjoys smoking.

It doesn't matter which order Wilberforce is in, he's still going to suck.

Time to Go Back Home to Erie, Grubby!

October 18, 1965

I guess she's a stowaway now. Time to throw her in the brig. That's a much better place for her than with her daughter and son-in-law when they are supposed to be on their honeymoon.

I'm not on board with this. I don't do body-shaming jokes. Low hanging fruit and it doesn't just insult the person being targeted but everyone with this body type. It's even more frustrating when the person doing the body shaming has essentially the same body type.

Follow me and eventually learn my opinion on "Yo Mama so fat..." jokes.

Personal Touch

October 16, 1965

Anyone can tell that clock is absolutely worth $5000!! Who wouldn't want a statue of Fauntleroy Fox with a clock in its stomach? Jerks and idiots, that's who!

Veeblefester's favorite part of the day is firing an employee. Every day. He just pulls a name out of a hat and fires that person. Everyone who puts in an application gets hired so the hat always has plenty of people in it. Brutus' name just hasn't been pulled yet.

Veeblefester's favorite thing is when they are crying about how they are going to feed their family and keep a roof over their heads. That's not Veeblefester's problem!

Mother Strange

October 15, 1965

"Can I leave my insect specimens in the kitchen?"

"Sure! Everyone will love that."

I guess it's kind of a tradition that the kids in The Born Loser don't get to eat, because this kid--who I'm going to call Moe--wasn't invited to his own parents' dinner party. They deserve the bugs in the salad.

Why is Mother Gargle stomping around the house? Can't she ever be in a good mood when she's visiting her only child and grandchild? Is she going to punch something?

"Mother is acting strange today."

"How can you tell?"

"Don't you care about my mother's health and well-being? You know how much she means to me."

"*shrugs* Call me when the story is about me."

A Day Without Coffee Is Like...

October 14, 1965

As someone who was tall, it was expected that I liked playing basketball and was good at it. I absolutely do not and am not. I made several kids upset at me during gym in school, but I'm not a sports guy. I enjoy dorkier pursuits.

What is this cabbage stuffed with? Dog poo and knives? I see that the cabbage is normally stuffed with beef and rice. I don't know. I'm not a fan of cabbage. Can we shove the beef and rice inside of iceberg lettuce?

Never heard anyone say this before. Is Chip phoning it in this week? That would explain why yesterday's strip was a repeat from 2019.

Party People

December 24, 1989

There is one version of The Twelve Days of Christmas where it's a June apple tree and not a pear tree. It's likely due to a mishearing of "partridge in a pear tree" and hearing "part of a juniper / June apple tree". Anyway, it's pretty impressive that there is still an apple on that tree in December.

I'm sure those dots are indicating that the bird is dumb, but I like to imagine that he's drunk. The little guy needed some Christmas spirit before listening to this song for the 47th time this season.

Brutus doesn't seem to remember that they are having a party. Couldn't the joke be "Yes, that's the idea. I don't people who come over to notice I haven't dusted!"? Adding a party to this comic is an unnecessary detail.

Who would come to this party? Arnie and his wife. Maybe that blond guy from work and whatever poor young girl he's currently dating. Maybe--MAYBE--Hurricane Hattie's parents. Sounds boring, and we're not even guaranteed a scene like this from Brutus.

It's almost summer which means I won't be getting paid. If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Saturday Suffering

October 13, 1965

I am assuming what's going on is this delivery person delivered flowers to this lady, and as a tip, she gave him a flower from the many flowers she receives from different suitors. That's my take on this poorly scanned comic anyway.

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What?! Do Uncle Ted's naps last longer than a day? You should go see a doctor about that, Uncle Ted. How is a calendar going to help? Calendars don't wake you up. What is this comic trying to say?!?

And are Uncle Ted and Brutus practically wearing matching outfits!!!?!!

Friday Chat

October 12, 1965

That seems like a very weird place for this picture? needlepoint? cross-stitching? And what does that other guy have on his wall? Is that a wine glass?

Typically, when you are called into the boss's office, it is not for a friendly chat. You're getting written up, Brutus. It's your seventh one. Five more and Veeblefester might actually have to do something.

Just Buy Donut Holes As Well

October 11, 1965

Well, 'loser' is in the name of the comic strip. I want to know the story. They kind of look like brothers which is...something. I would need to ask the bride some questions about that. Are they friends? What jobs do they have? What makes this guy stand out over the other guy? Better hair? Friendlier face? More generous lover?

I thought it was common knowledge why a doughnut has a hole in the middle. It's so it fries up evenly. Right?

That is a very normal way to hold a doughnut.

Garbage Week

I have been going back and forth on how I want to continue handling this website. Readership is fine, but I feel it could be better. My posts of links are buried on Threads and I have very few followers on my other social media sites. While I still enjoy doing this, I'm not sure if it's something that I should keep doing. "If you like doing it, then you should keep going," I hear you say. But if I'm just commenting into the air, then what's the point?

I'll finish out the month and figure out what to do. Maybe I'll keep doing this. Maybe I'll just post on social media. Maybe I'll stop doing this altogether and just focus on my writing. Whatever. In the meantime, you can read about one of my favorite Superman storylines where Brainiac puts Superman's mind into the brain of a kid in a mental facility.

October 9, 1965

Another person stuck in the rain? And it's to talk to your dog? Who's there with your dog, holding the phone to its ear? Or is the dog in the phone booth with this guy? That just raises even more questions!

"Tomorrow is another day"? Is that some sort of perverse threat? I've complained on social media recently, but I am not handling 2024 very well. It's been a rough year for a number of reasons. Maybe I'll talk about it at some point. That picture of Wilberforce isn't helping...

They Should Go for a Drive

October 8, 1965

How did this happen? How do you get your tie stuck in the door? And not only did he get his tie caught in the door, he also locked his keys in the car, I guess? And, not to pile on this loser, but his son also seems...what's a nice way to say "stupid"? That kid's not making anyone proud.

Veeblefester is going to pull Brutus' chair out from under him. Or push him really hard. Or just punch him. Whichever, it will lead to workers' comp filing that will be immediately denied.

It runs off of 50 D batteries, you knob.

Day of Rest

December 17, 1989

I understand how frustrating this would be, but why are you calling Veeblefester? He doesn't want to talk to you and you calling him is weird in the first place. He's your boss. I try my hardest to not have to talk to my boss.

Hey, Gladys. If you aren't going to help with the work, then you don't get to criticize it. There also appears to be five more hours of sun so he has plenty of time to trim those hedges. Or you could do it.

Ugh. Need to replace that picture of Mother Gargle with a picture of Kewpie.

Steven Kraan

It's almost summer which means I won't be getting paid. If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Inside Wilberforce Thornapple

October 7, 1965

I blame his arms. Look at those things...

Are you really alone with your thoughts when you are a comic strip character read by hundreds of people every day? I mean, he's even talking to us...

This Is Abuse

October 6, 1965

Atomic fallout?! I guess that explain the oddly placed ⚛⚛ in the first panel. It took me a couple read-throughs to notice the "atomic fallout" comment. This strip clearly takes place in a timeline where Russia launched their nukes. The obiliteration of two global superpowers can't stop love.

Two things: I appreciate the spelling of "Emilie", and I want to see more of Quincy Madison.

Why is that one on top already open? Did she need to use a tissue in the car or something? I also feel Gladys should be buying those at CostCo or Sam's Club. Buying them separately like that seems pricey.

Oh, cool. They're comparing notes now. Why is this a competition? What's to gain from this? Being married isn't a scorecard or whatever. God, I absolutely hate this trope and wish it would die already.

Did they put the cream and sugar directly into the coffee pot?

Number 2

October 1, 1965

You may know "Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life" (not to be confused with the Roald Dahl collection of stories titled the same thing) by its opening lines. Check out this beatitude memory pop:

This is from the 1935 film version of Naughty Marietta, based on the 1910 operetta of the same name. Marietta is deemed "naughty" because she refuses to get married.

Okay, so if this makeshift raft can hold two people and tuba then that door could've held Rose and Jack.

Of course you didn't get the job, Brutus. You weren't qualified. Why would you get a job that you weren't qualified for? Wait. That happens all the time. My mistake, I'll leave you alone.

At least Brutus got a participation ribbon. I barely get an email sometimes.

Does Brutus Know Anything About Marketing?

September 30, 1965

Shouldn't Mr. Fuzzwort be on a plane to New York? Is he taking a later flight? Was the trip canceled? Is that bad for the company? Is this letch going to lose his job? I hope so.

We're now stacking up the moneybags instead of just putting them in a neat pile?

Is this Berwald related to this Berwald?