Thursday, February 28, 2019

Marchtember 41st

Is Veeblefester going to call all of his employees in and do this? That seems really time consuming and he should have better things to do. Like go down to the warehouse, kick a ladder out from under someone and yell:
That's a much proper use of time.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Just Download an App

Gladys has been on virtually every diet ever created-slash-renamed so one would think she'd know what a calculator is for but whatever. Why is Brutus starting his diet on February 27--a Wednesday?

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Work Day

You know, non-essential items. You got that kid that you don't need. Just drop him off at the fire station and that'll save you a lot of money right there.

Emfasize? Emffasize? It's things like this why Brutus never gets the raises he requests.

Sunday, February 24, 2019

There Is An Extra Line

William Douthitt was born in Vevay, Illinois in 1827. He studied law and graduated from the University of Illinois in Bloomington. He came to Kansas aboard a steamboat from St. Louis, landing in Leavenworth, in 1857. He came to Topeka in 1859 and immediately began a life. Douthitt was an attorney and operated a law firm for most his life in Topeka, the last with his son-in-law, Eugene Wolfe.

Douthitt tried the first case in Shawnee County, in Tecumseh, then the county seat, which was over a promissory note. He was elected to the legislature in 1863 and was instrumental in getting the railroad and telegraphs installed in Kansas--connecting the forts and major cities in eastern Kansas. Douthitt had a house at 3rd and Van Buren and then owned an 80 acre tract of land along Kansas Avenue that stretched from Kansas to what is now Central Park Avenue between 14th and Euclid (17th) Street. Both houses have been torn down but you could see the Kansas Capitol from each house.
Views of the Kansas Capitol from 3rd & Van
Buren (r.) and 15th & Kansas.

On his land he kept a veterans' campsite where veterans could come and stay. Being just north of the fairgrounds meant that Douthitt's land was very attractive to developers in the latter part of the 19th Century but Douthitt held off on selling the land until 1897 when he deeded it to his daughters and son-in-law.

William Douthitt died of paralysis (possibly a stroke) on November 28, 1897. A funeral was held in his house and he was buried in Topeka Cemetery. Soon after his death, his land was opened for development. Polk and Tyler Streets were extended through the property and two other streets were build east to west. The first, an extension of 15th Street, was named Douthitt Avenue. The other was named Huntington Street after Douthitt's grandmother.
ca. 1905 map of Topeka showing Douthitt and Huntington Streets
The streets kept those names until the city, wanting consistency in the names of their streets, renamed Douthitt to 15th Street and Huntington to 16th. A small portion of Douthitt Avenue still exists between Central Park Avenue and Western Avenue, a nearly forgotten memorial to one of Topeka's first pioneers.

Sadly, I could not find much on Douthitt's family. He married but I could not find his wife's name, and had at least three daughters and one son--Ada, Laura, Louise, and John. After his father's death, John got caught up in a messy divorce. Louise married Eugene Wolfe in 1891 and they had two children, William and Eugene. Sadly, Eugene would pass away in 1899 of a sudden illness at the age of 34.
Lt. William Douthitt
Lawyer ~ Pioneer
This originally appeared in a somewhat different format on my Twitter. If you would like to support my writing and research, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-Fi.

I wonder how much I would have to pay Chip to never draw Gladys like in the third panel ever again.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Ad Space

What is Brutus watching that still fades out with "And now a word from our sponsor"? This isn't the 1940s or 1950s when Phillip Morris or Kellogg would sponsor an entire series. A show might now have dozens of sponsors rotating through its advertising space. And this isn't a new development. It's been like this since the late 1960s. Get with the times, Chip.


Friday, February 22, 2019

0

It's funny because they have no money and no plan for retirement will end up destitute and homeless at the age of 80 or, even funnier, Brutus will have to continue working into his seventies and drop dead on the tea cozy production floor. *sigh* The American dream.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

6'3" 243 lbs

You know what's funny about comic strips? Aside from that literally being their purpose? That no matter how much weight you lose, your illustrator continues to draw you in exactly the same way. I'm also constantly confused by Mother Gargle's harassing of Brutus over his weight when she has exactly the same body type as him.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

His Spine Will Never Be the Same

Welp, Brutus is dead.

Don't go help him up or anything just let him lie there a crumpled mess like Beetle Bailey...
...It's fine. Just continue to sit there, eat your cereal, and laugh.

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

Monday, February 18, 2019

Return of Monday

Maybe you are depressed that it's Monday because Veeblefester always yells at you for being late which makes sense considering you are just sitting there either at home or at a diner sipping on coffee and talking to the...camera(?).

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Tank N Tummy #12

She was a tall redhead, her breasts and stomach showing through the button-down shirt she was wearing. As she brought her beef sticks, fountain drink, and chips to the counter, she knew that Aaron was staring at her.

“At BunnyNichole1995,” she said. “Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat if you want to see more.”

“Okay,” Aaron said as he bagged up her food items. She smiled at him and left the store. Aaron got out his phone and began looking her up. He scrolled through her accounts seeing dozens, maybe hundreds, of nudes and nearly nude pictures. He stopped at a short video of her swaying and letting her breasts and stomach jiggle. He looked up, saw the store was empty and dashed into the restroom.

He calculated that it would take him only a minute and five seconds to finish. He went to work, focusing on the two and a half minute video playing. The restroom door suddenly opened--whether he forgot to lock the door or the lock was broken again he didn’t know--a woman stood there and saw Aaron, pants around his knees, holding his phone in one hand and his penis in the other. She screamed loudly and Aaron followed suit.

“So,” Dominic began the next day, “why did you feel the need to, as you were screaming at each other, to continue pleasuring yourself until you finished?”

Aaron’s head was down on the counter, resting on his arms. “Because it would’ve been awkward and uncomfortable if I hadn’t.”

“Of course,” Dominic shrugged.

“I may have to register as a sex offender.”

“Probably for the best.”

“I live right around the corner from a school,” Aaron sighed. “I’ll probably have to move.”

“Don’t do that at work then.”

“I’ll have to go door-to-door and introduce myself to other people. I hate talking to other people.”

“But you’re fine with masturbating in front of them? Let’s get that clear.”




MaryJane came into the store to get her daily 52 ounce drink. Dominic and Lauren were working the counter. MaryJane rounded the beverage area and ran into Ned.

“Excuse me,” MaryJane said.

“Excuse me. MaryJane, right?”

“You remembered,” MaryJane said.

“Well, you’re in everyday. Distracting the employees. We need to create a reward program for you,” Ned said. “Have a good day, MaryJane.”

“Thanks. You, too...Ned.” Ned went into the office and closed the door. MaryJane grabbed a candy bar and went up to the counter. “Hey guys. How are you today?”

“You and Ned slept together,” Dominic said.

“What?”

“You and Ned. You did it.”

“You know I have a strict policy of not sleeping with anyone who works at this Tank N Tummy. Present company excluded, of course.”

“Well, something is definitely off about you,” Dominic said. “You see it, too. Right, Lauren?”

Lauren looked at Dominic and MaryJane confused. “I don’t really know her.”

“What’s off about me?” MaryJane asked.

“First, you always enter saying ‘Whassup, sluts’. You always call us sluts. Second, you always say hi to us first before getting your drink,” Dominic said.

“I wish you would’ve paid this much attention to me when that guy kidnapped me.”

“You signed up for that. It was your perverted fantasy.”

“I only wanted to be kidnapped for a day. He kept me for three!”

“Pfft. You escaped.”

Ryan came into the store and walked up to the counter. “Hey, guys. How’s it going?” he took a good look at MaryJane. “MaryJane, you’re looking good today.”

“Her and Ned had sex,” Dominic said.

“No, we didn’t!”

“Oh, yeah. Now I see it.”

“No, you don’t! I’m going to work. Screw you guys,” she held up a middle finger.

She left the store. Dominic, Ryan, and Lauren went silent. Another came up to the counter with a coffee, turkey sandwich, and an egg sandwich. Dominic rang her up as Ryan went to put on an apron and returned to the front. “I miss MaryJane,” Dominic said. “Did you get a message from Gavin? He’s getting married. Wanted to know if I wanted an invite.”

“Are you going?” Ryan asked.

Dominic shrugged. “Yeah. Might as well be there for the death kneel of Gavin and mine’s friendship.”

“Luckily you weren’t really all that close to him,” Ryan said.

“That’s true.”

“Unlike us, right?”

Dominic was quiet.

“Right?”

Dominic still didn’t answer. “I need to remember to ask for the day off.”

“Why is a wedding a ‘death kneel’ for a friendship?” Lauren asked.

“Do you have any friends that are married?” Dominic asked.

“About three, I think.”

“How often do you hang out with them?”

“Maybe on someone’s birthday but I don’t...Oh my God! You’re right!”

“And it gets worse with kids. Ryan, do you remember Jason? He got his girlfriend pregnant junior year and we never saw him again?”

“It was like he fell into a black hole.”

“And Isaac. He married right out of college at 23. We’d see him on our birthdays and maybe around a holiday or two but once the kids started coming, those days vanished. I’m a big believer that children are parasites of money, health, time, and attention. The only people that want to be around people with kids are other people with kids. It’s a sick and twisted catch-22.”

“And you wonder why you’re single,” Lauren sighed. She walked away and disappeared down one of aisles.

“Good job. That probably got her hot for you,” Ryan said.

“Hey, guys?” Ned came out of the office. “Harvey wants to order employee shirts to replace the aprons. They’ll have Tank N Tummy embroidered on them. What color should I get? Red, maroon, or this ruby color?” he held up a sheet with the shirt designs.

“I can’t wear red,” Dominic said.

“Why not?” Ned asked.

“Because my eyes twitch and freak out when I’m wearing a red shirt. It’s the main reason I only wear blue or green aprons at work.”

“All right. That’s weird,” Ned said. “Ryan. Any preference?”

“I guess the maroon.”

“The maroon is the least offensive to my eyes,” Dominic said.

“I like the pink,” Lauren said.

“You would,” Dominic rolled his eyes.

“Hey, Ned, you should get whatever color short circuits Dominic’s eyes giving him a stroke,” Lauren said.

“That’s not how strokes work.”

“I will just order maroon,” Ned said loudly.

“So what did you and MaryJane do last night?” Ryan asked.

“What?”

“We know what you and MaryJane did. You can try to hide or deny it but we know it happened,” Dominic said. “Although I have to admit that you don’t have that look of regret most guys have after sleeping with her.”

“This is inappropriate, Dominic. I’m sure there’s an HR form we can fill out.”

“I’ll be good.”

“Harvey will pay for one shirt but if you want more than one then you have to pay for it.”

“Seriously? It’s like I’m in prison and you’re forcing me to buy my prison jumpsuit,” Dominic said.




Lauren pulled the plastic Tupperware out of the microwave and went back to the counter. “What’s that?” Dominic asked.

“My lunch,” she answered.

“You brought your own lunch?”

“Usually. It’s just leftover dinner. Goulash.”

“You make dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“Every night?”

“Yeah.”

“I just get something though the drive thru. Unless Ryan and I go out then I get some bar food. For lunch I usually just eat something here.”

“That’s probably why you have no money and can’t catch your breath when you stand up.”

“No, 27 years of not exerting myself is why I can’t catch my breath when I stand up.”

Lauren smiled. “You should start cooking. It’s amazing how much money you save. Also, women love a guy who can cook.” Lauren went back to eating. Dominic continued to look at her with a smile on his face until a customer came up to them.

The customer breathed in through her nose loudly. “Do you have to eat that here? I have a sensitive nose.”

“I’ll be in the office,” Lauren took her stuff and left.

Dominic watched Lauren walk away and disappear into the office. He turned back to the customer. “You’re banned.”




Across from the Tank N Tummy was a strip mall. As Ned left work, he pulled out from the Tank N Tummy and immediately into the strip mall parking lot. He pulled up to another car and rolled his window down. “Hey, good looking. How was your day?”

“Pretty good. Got one guy to settle and began jury selection for another case,” MaryJane said. “My place or yours?”

“Can we go to mine tonight? The whips in your bedroom kind of intimidate me.”

MaryJane laughed. “You’ll get there. Dinner?”

“Big ass burgers?”

“You read my mind.”

“I’ll see you at my place,” Ned smiled. They rolled up their windows and pulled away.

Like Gladys Needs An Excuse to Eat Chocolate

In Captain Marvel Adventures #26 in 1943. He was the mastermind of getting all of Captain Marvel's nemeses together to defeat him in a storyline that began in Captain Marvel Adventures #22 and ended in #46. Mr. Mind would be a thorn in Captain Marvel/Shazam!'s side for every other incarnation. He recently made a reappearance in Shazam! #2 last month. Mr. Mind technically first appeared as a voice but is physically in #26. Can you spot him?














I am also working to get "collected editions" of Story Series written and posted. You can see the link in the sidebar. Currently there is only one, Catman, but more will be added every month as I get them formatted. If you would like to support my writing or research, you can buy me a cup of coffee on Ko-Fi.
Coughing is usually suppressed just by having something coat your throat. Chocolate is very good at that. I looked this study up and the study was only conducted on 163 people in Europe but they were given either cough medicine with codeine or a chocolate-based medicine called ROCOCO. People using ROCOCO lost their cough quicker. But I bet the group taking codeine felt really good.

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Didn't Use Them for Super Bowl 50

And Rocky movies. Don't forget the Rocky movies.

Justin Bieber has a tattoo that uses Roman numerals that I have mentioned twice on my Twitter. He has a tattoo that is supposed to be a tribute to his mother. It's her birth year of 1975, written as I IX VII V when everyone knows it should be MCMLXXV. "Yeah, well, that doesn't look as nice, symbolic, or proportional." Yeah, well, at least it's right. I'd post a picture of it but all the good pictures I could find also had his nipple in it.

Friday, February 15, 2019

Maturity

Once again, Brutus and Gladys have abandoned Wilberforce. First, it was by "playing hide-and-seek" and here it's sending him to his room to think about what he's done. Maybe he's not in his room because it just looks like an empty room.

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Valentine Redux

Chip is copying his own garbage strip now. Only the prices have changed.

Brutus is getting pretty uppity for someone who is buying flowers at the last minute.

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

PALentines

Why can't friends be valentines? Ah, who cares? Let's talk about that chalkboard in the background. Now, don't get me wrong. Chalkboards are still around. I work in a school that still has some of them around but most have been covered with a dry erase board. I find it interesting that we still think of chalkboards when thinking of backgrounds of classroom scenes.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Just Call It a Robin

"It's been too cold this year." "Why have we had so much snow?" "Spring will never get here."

Spring will get here at the time it always does--March 21st. Will it be warm? I don't know. Will it not snow anymore? I don't know. But y'all realize that summer will get here sooner or later and you'll just complain about that, right?

Monday, February 11, 2019

This Is Love?

*exasperated sigh* We're using the phrase "happily married" very loosely aren't we? What a great relationship you had with your late wife...with earplugs in your ears...ignoring everything she said.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

Should've Had Hattie Call

The comic strip Alley Oop was created by Vincent Trout (V.T.) Hamlin and debuted December 5, 1932. It featured the adventures of a caveman named Oop who lived in the city of Moo in prehistoric times. While the strip originally began as a satire on American life, it soon became more of an adventure that featured science and fantasy when Professor Wonmug brought in a time machine from the 20th Century. The name, Alley Oop, came from the French words for "let's go". Allez, hop. Hamlin wrote and drew Alley Oop until his retirement in 1973 with some help from his assistant, Dave Graue. Graue took over the daily strip in 1966 but still signed Hamlin's name. Graue wrote and drew the strip until 1991 when Jack Bender took over as the illustrator. Graue retired in 2001 but sadly died in an automobile accident four months later. After Graue's retirement, the strip was drawn by Jack Bender while his wife, Carole, wrote it. They continued on Alley Oop until 2018. On January 7, 2019, Alley Oop received it's fourth creative team in writer Joey Alison Sayers and artist Jonathan Lemon.

During the middle part of the 20th Century, Alley Oop was very popular, appearing in over 800 newspapers, being reprinted in comic albums and being published in comic books. Alley Oop even had its own song written and composed by Dallas Frazier in 1957 and performed by the Hollywood Argyles (in actuality, Gary "Flip" Paxton and some back-up singers).


















In addition to the daily strips that continue the adventures of Alley Oop, Sundays are used for a feature called Little Oop that features the adventures of Oop when he was a boy.



For more Alley Oop, you can go to its GoComics page. If you would like to support my writing and research, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-Fi.

I'm only familiar with what we do around here. Aren't grades in elementary/grade school just E, M, and S? Don't most parents go to conferences to get the scuttlebutt from the teachers? Where's Wilberforce calling from? Is he at Hattie's house? Why do the Thornapples have a basket of apples just sitting around? Why do the Thornapples still have a landline?

For the sake of completists, there is a Noble Elementary School in Cleveland Heights, Ohio.