Lazy Saturday Quickie

It's probably fine and can last another week. Everybody stop working. It's Saturday!

ASSignment

"Let's drink it all before Wilberforce gets home from school!"

I would drink tea and lemonade everyday if I could. I don't drink enough lemonade, honestly. I should get some lemonade after work tomorrow. We have a food truck that sells lemonade and kettle corn. Park it next to the food truck that sells barbecue and the food truck that sells mini donuts and I'd have everything I need.

"Does your dad need to go to the hospital?"

We're just gonna jump into Wilberforce being back in school? And he has an assignment already? And an involved one where he basically has write down everything his parents say? It's not even a "What I did over summer" report.

When I did this kind of report, I did it in comic strip form.

Lividea's Been In Mourning

It has been roughly a year since we last saw Lividea. I sometimes forgets she exists. I'm kidding. I am well aware of the characters in this comic strip.

He Could At Least Dry Off

"You're soaking wet!"

Yeah, he just came out of the bathroom so one could reason that Wilberforce just took a shower. Don't you want your child clean?

More Like a Family Shrub

Brutus isn't going to find anything good in his family tree. There's no blue blood in the Thornapple lineage. I mean, there is still a lot of inbreeding, but it's not because they were royalty trying to consolidate power.

Uncle Ted's Balls

June 29, 1986

I was going to comment that 70¢ seems like a lot, but it's only 23¢ per minute which seems like a steal. Pay phones rose to a quarter starting in 1984 so 23¢ is a discount. Or this payphone in 1986 was still a dime and Brutus just got royally screwed. Well, joke's on the payphone. The Born Loser is still around while payphone after payphone are removed and tossed in the garbage.

How does this cut costs? It should be "the one who loses the least buys the root beer" because the one that loses the least number of golf balls has lost the least amount of money. The way Uncle Ted phrases it, the person who loses the most balls has to pay to replace his balls (heh-heh-heh!) and pay for the root beer.

They should just steal golf balls from Mr. Anderson.

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Surprise Party

Classic Born Loser daily strips will return in September. There will still be Sunday ones continuing. I just need to download the strips for January and February of 1966. In the meantime, I'm going to try to do some new things. I have a couple new stories, a new Captain Kid, a few other Golden Age-era comics, and maybe some history to post. Today, is Trader Tom who is a really good salesman and doesn't enforce a "no shoes, no shirt, no service" policy.

I am insulted by the stereotypical caricature, but I am impressed that he's not speaking in a racist dialect.

Does...Does Brutus not know how old his favorite uncle, who he spends a very disproportionate amount of time with, is?

They probably threw this party because they were all worried either they or Uncle Ted would be dead by 2026. Not because of old age but because...*gestures around*

Bubbly Guts

December 31, 1965

What is going on here? Is he drunk and hitting on everyone...even his wife? Is he going to club his wife with that umbrella? Tarzan never clubbed anyone.

My choice for winner of this costume party is the person dressed as a damn tree.

I have stomach issues, too. Is it because I'm getting old? I'd be fine with that if there was some rhyme or reason to it. I can't eat anything.

Maybe I should try more probiotics. Or just do what I want and die on the toilet.

Tummy.

Is Veeblefester Playing Angry Birds?

December 30, 1965

Pedestrians technically have the right-of-way, too, but drivers still mow them down. And despite the "hawnnnnk"ing, I don't think the people on that ship can see Claudia and her husband.

"Smart alecks" is an odd insult.

Yeah, these smartphones(?) are a great invention. I don't know how we'd survive 2009 without them.

Are we sure that's a smartphone(?) (are we sure that's what they're called?) and not Veeblefester holding a Switch wrong? Maybe a turtle comm.

Belly Belly Nice

December 29, 1965

I feel like the fault is not on the one-way street. Those things just don't pop up out of nowhere.

For some reason, I don't have an issue with the word 'belly' like I do with 'tummy'. I mean, this is still a weird context for saying 'belly', but at least it's not 'tummy'.

Should She Just Put That Hot Tray On the Table?

December 28, 1965

Ignoring the "wives amirite?" gag in this strip, I like that she's so enveloped in whatever she is mad about that she didn't even see proto-Brutus leave.

And like current Brutus, his house could burn down because of the lit cigarette he left on the table and he'll just be calmly sipping his water at work.

Yes, Chef! Someone's been watching The Bear.

I don't understand the purpose of the chef's hat. Why does she need it? To warn others?

Monday Quickies

December 27, 1965

This is a beach priest. He has no power over you.

Cool. Now things in Brutus' house are trying to kill him.

Opening an Umbrella Indoors Is Why He's a Born Loser

The Iowa Blue Beard--William Mawhor was placed on trial for the poisoning of his sixth wife. It was then revealed that four of the last five of his wives also died in a similar manner. Friends consider him just a misfortunate soul. Is William Mawhor a cold-blooded killer?

June 22, 1986

It took me a couple reads to see that the kids are digging for worms. I'm assuming to grind up into a smoothie or something like Beavis and Butt-Head would do.

I can't believe these kids are digging up worms, but the punchline is "Brutus is dumb". He's definitely getting a worm smoothie.

Why is the umbrella black? He's watching baseball so I can assume he's watching the Guardians so why isn't the umbrella navy blue or red? Sunday is really the only time the actual comic artist does the coloring. Has Chip been watching The Umbrella Academy? Did Wednesday really make an impact on him?

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Wilberforce Doesn't Have to Spend Anything

December 24, 1965

Hmm. I don't think that ketchup is coming out.

Waitaminute. Euclid Beach Park closed back in 1969. Are the Thornapples visiting an abandoned and haunted amusement park in which they might get killed? Cool!

Euclid Beach Park, in an effort to appear family-friendly, refused to admit people who were intoxicated and African-Americans. The park began admitting Black people on certain days around 1915 and they were not permitted to comingle with the white people. The park had a special police force to keep Black people out. Numerous riots and protests occurred at Euclid Beach Park. I'm glad Chip has some fond memories of Euclid Beach Park, but some people do not.

Finally Friday

December 23, 1965

We're coming into Christmas 1965 and thus the end of 1965 of the Born Loser. That also means we are about to close out 1965. There's been some good ones, a few bad ones. Most have been alright. I bet the ones that are bad are just because I/we don't understand the reference.

Don't get me wrong, I'd rather have money, but getting a turkey is pretty cool, too. I don't know the cost of turkey back in 1965 but I got a turkey from my job a few years ago and I appreciated it. Turkeys don't grow on trees, you know.

Why does everyone look cartoony and dumb, but there's one guy drawn realistically? I mean, what the hell is this?

August 8, 2024

"Infuse my water with coffee, daddy!" Sorry. I apologize for that. "Infuse my water with coffee", you mean make coffee?! Actually, you can buy something where that happens. It's how you make cold brew.

Brutus works hard all week. Well, he works all week. A working man can have a nap if he wants. Look, he can either nap Friday evenings or go visit whores. It's one or the other, take your pick.

Brownie Wednesday

December 22, 1965

Infectious hepatitis, or Hepatitis A, now has a vaccine, approved for use in the United States back in 1995. That doesn't help anyone here in 1965, but anytime we can stop people from getting sick is a win. Pam and Uncle Ed got sick and died (maybe?) so that we may live.

Mm. I'll take some brownies. I'll even help make them. Well, maybe not. How about this: I'll get the stuff out and lick the bowl.

All Good Things Must Come To an End

December 21, 1965

This guy should really invest in a paperweight. Or maybe do a better at putting his papers where they belong when he is done with them.

I don't know why Wilberforce is crying about summer being over when he has so many other things to cry about. I've known this kid for 16 years and his life certainly makes me want to cry.

Are We Having Fun Yet?

I start back at work today so posts won't publish until the evening. It's not like anyone really reads this thing before I post the link for it anyway. If you really want me to go back to posting in the morning then you need to start paying me to do this. Or lobby to have schools operate 24 hours a day so I can work nights.

December 20, 1965

Remember when the bowling pins were set up by actual people and not a machine? I don't, because I'm not that old. This guy looks like he should have a bowling pin thrown at him.

What's wrong with Brutus? Do you see his inbox? Yet time is flying? If that's the stuff he hasn't done, can you imagine what the stack of stuff he did do looks like? Maybe that's why he's not having fun. He doesn't care about this work. 98% of the numbers he sees doesn't trickle down to him. And never will.

Ah, Sweet Love

Organized in 1897, the Topeka Women's Club built and moved into their beautiful brick building in 1925. Due to declining membership, the Women's Club sold the building to the Kansas Insurance Department in the 1980s. When the department moved out in 2020, the building remained abandoned until purchased to be renovated into an event space The Beacon.

I didn't include pictures of the many Tiffany stained glass windows in the original post but pictured here is the window honoring education that was installed in the theater.

June 15, 1986

If you're going to jaywalk, do it better. Don't just run out in front of the cars. Wait until there's some space. Or, if I'd rather, just walk the extra 50-75 feet to the nearest crosswalk.

In the first panel, Brutus is clearly at a crosswalk/intersection. You can't just wait for the light to change? Then you deserve to get hit by a car.

Well, this marriage isn't going to last. What? They've been together more than ten years? I do not want to pay Wilberforce's therapy bills.

Brutus interrupts her twice, but one of those times is in the throwaway panels so getting mad at Brutus over one instance makes Gladys seem like a huge jerkass. Knowing what your spouse is going to say is cute. Not according to Gladys, I guess.

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Drama-Free Dog

December 18, 1965

More crime in these early strips! There are only two constants in these early strips: Crime and death.

Can none of these people who get overpowered and tied up fight back? There's a couple where it's possible they were asleep. This guy was at work!

July 27, 2024

Two strips in a row talking about smoke detectors going off.

DINNER BELL!?!? Who still rings a dinner bell to announce it's time for dinner? It is 2024 for goodness sake.

Kewpie seems like my kind of dog. Rarely barks, doesn't try to jump over the fence in order to eat the neighbors, lazy, genderqueer/non-binary.

Is Uncle Ted over at Brutus' or did Brutus take Kewpie to Uncle Ted's?

Shut Your Hole, Woman

December 17, 1965

Good! That carpet was due for a good painting.

What's wrong with Brucie's face? Is that a young Elon Musk? Clearly this tiny man has kidnapped and killed Brucie and has taken over his life.

July 26, 2024

The number of alarms refers to the number of peppers in the chili, which I didn't know. I knew it was in relation to how spicy the chili but I didn't know how they came up with the number.

The chili I make would definitely be considered a no-alarm chili because I don't put peppers in mine. You'd hate my chili and I can feel your judging eyes on me.

Cool. I get to talk about work and school during my last week of summer vacation. I would rather be bored than go back to work. Although I do like the money. You can give me some by going into the About section and sending me a tip.

It's also kind of hot and possibly storming in and around Cleveland today so that may be part of his boredom.

Thursday Quickies

December 16, 1965

Hey! More death in this comic strip!

Skipper and Smee? We're mixing pop culture references now.

July 25, 2024

Hmm. Someone watched that Christmas episode of The Office where Dwight is selling Princess Unicorn dolls, the hottest toys of the season, and says "Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-ka-ching!"

Maybe don't watch the Olympics tonight, Brutus. They're clearly depressing you.