Thursday, May 28, 2009

Joe & Querty #1.4

"I'm coming for you" was all the note on Nicki's desk said. Bess started freaking out when she saw the note with the note with the words scrawled across it.

"Calm down, Bess," Nicki said. "It's probably just a prank or one of my fellow students didn't like what I printed about them. It's nothing," Nicki crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it away.

"Attention students," the secretary cam on the intercom. "I have some sad news to announce. Sophomore Katie Fischer was found beaten and covered up in a ditch this morning. She's in the hospital now but it's not known if she will pull through. The counselor will be available to anyone who needs to talk."

"Oh my God," Nicki said.

"Katie Fischer," Bess thought out loud, "I didn't know her."

"I did. You can't tell anyone but she's the one who told me what Principal Anschutz did."

Joe and Shirley had been dating about a month. Shirley had met Joe's friends, sister and mother but had yet to meet Querty. Currently, Joe and Shirley were in his car making out.

"I think it's time," Joe gasped.

"Joe, I don't want to do it sitting in your car in your driveway," Shirley replied.

"No, not that. I mean meeting Querty," Joe said.

"Really? Oh, I'm so excited! You mean meet him right now?" Shirley asked.

"Yeah. Let's go inside."

Joe and Shirley went inside and after greeting Irene and Nicki, went upstairs to Joe's room.

"So this is your room?" she asked, looking at his simplicity of decor. "It's not what I thought. I figured I'd see more superhero stuff."

"I'm not like that," Joe grabbed Querty and put him on and turned to Shirley. "Shirly, this is Querty."

Shirley stared at the sock on Joe's hand and smiled uneasily. "Really?"

"Yep, I'm Querty. Joe's told me a lot about you Shirley and it's a real pleasure to meet you," Querty said.

Shirley looked from Joe to Querty and back. The voice from Querty was markedly different from Joe's and his lips didn't move a muscle. "So Querty isn't a unique last name. It's a sock puppet?"

"And my best friend," Joe smiled.

"Don't you get all mushy on me," Querty said.

"Oh my," sighed Shirley.

"Querty's Dinner Date"
Buddy was sitting in his apartment in the dark watching TV when there was a knock on the door. Buddy got up and answered the door. Buddy's landlord, Horatio Czstylskzy, standing in the hall.

Before Buddy could say anything, Mr. Czstylskzy pointed to Buddy and started talking. "You, out!"

"Out? But I paid this month's rent," Buddy argued.

"End of month, you out!"

"I'm being evicted? Why?"

"Building not up to code. You, out!"

"Oh, everybody's getting kicked out. Building's not up to code? Well, as much as I hate to move, I understand. It's been nice living here Mr. Czstylskzy," Buddy said.

"End of month, out!" Mr. Czstylskzy spat as Buddy closed the door.

"So can they kick you out like that?" Kip asked as he, Buddy and Joe sat in the break room of CAAF.

"I'm not going to look into it because if the building's not up to code then it's not up to code. I'll just find another place to live," Buddy explained.

"Hey, Kip? Didn't your place just raise your rent to some overly dramatic number?" Joe asked.

"An extra three hundred a month," Kip said. "One paycheck will go to bills while another will go to rent. It's ludicrous!"

"I could move in with you. I'd only be paying one hundred dollars more a month and it would lessen the burden on yourself," Buddy said.

"I don't know Buddy. I've seen how you live."

"Well think about it and let me know."

"Shirley wants to bring Querty on a date with us," Joe said suddenly.


"By choice?" Kip asked.

"Yep. It's amazing but very few people want to be seen in public with Querty," said Joe.

"Yeah, that's shocking," Kip rolled his eyes.

"So are you going to do it?" asked Buddy.

"Why not?" Joe shrugged and left the break room.

"Should we tell him the possible consequences of taking Querty on a date?" Buddy asked.

"Oh, let's just let the little cracker make a huge fool of himself," Kip said angrily and left the break room.

Joe put on his nice suit and ran Querty through the laundry on the gentle cycle. Both were looking exquisite for their date tonight. "Now remember Querty, no politics and no religion."

"I'll try but don't you go pulling down the conversation with your worthless movie trivia."

"But Shirley likes my worthless movie trivia," Joe whined.

"She just acts like she does because she likes you," Querty revealed. "Now, are we ready?"

"I guess," Joe said, feeling deflated.

Dinner started out fine with Joe, Shirley and Querty immediately able to get seated. Joe kept Querty up the whole time and only a couple people took notice. The greeter did eye Querty strangely but still led them to a table. After the greeter had left, Querty looked at Joe.

"How come you said two instead of three?" he asked.


"When the greeter asked how many, you said two. Last I checked there are three of us."

"Querty, do you really need your own chair? You never sit in them," Joe said.

"It's nice to know I have the option."

Shirley became slightly uneasy watching her boyfriend and a sock puppet argue. She sighed as she removed her napkin from her lap and placed it on the table and forced a smile toward Joe. "Please excuse me," Shirley said and left the table.

"She's not coming back," said Querty.

Shirley took her cell phone from her purse and called Joe's home number. "Hello, Irene? I guess it's going fine. We need to end this! No, I'm not asked for your permission to break up with him. I'm talking about Querty."

Nicki sat in her room, writing this week's editorial column when her phone rang. "Hello?" she answered.

"Katie Fischer just died," said the voice on the other end.

"Aw, that's too bad. But why call me?"

"Because you're next!" the voice said.

"Who is this?" Nicki asked.

"Former Principal Anschutz, Nicki or have you forgotten your big story already?" and he hung up. Nicki placed the receiver back on the phone and started to cry.

Joe's intervention and something happens at school.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Secret Identity #1.11

"Conduit!" Cal Nolan called over the headset Prime Officer Conduit wore as he flew around Centropolis. "What do you see? What's the latest?"

"Imminent death and destruction as far as I can tell," Conduit said. "And I don't think there's anything we can do to stop this."

"I find that implausible, Conduit," Nolan said.

"They're all over the city, Mayor. No corner--city or suburb--has been left untouched."

Giant missiles had pierced Earth's atmosphere and had embedded themselves in every nook and cranny in the city. Along with BrainWave's ship, the city was now under total panic and Mayor Nolan finally issued the evacuation of the city.

"Are those things related to that BrainWave alien?" Nolan asked.

"I wouldn't doubt it, sir," Conduit said.

Inside BrainWave's ship, Visor and Magic Man stood in BrainWave's main console room. "What are those things?" Magic Man asked.

"They are your death. This planet has proved itself to be unworthy of preservation so I will simply destroy it," BrainWave said.

"We're not going to let you do that," Visor said.

"But it has already begun," BrainWave said and turned his back to Visor and Magic Man.

Near the moon, another ship approached and as it entered Earth's atmosphere, it changed it's trajectory and began heading to Centropolis."

"The Final Hour"
"Where is she?!" Barney shouted as he grabbed Father MacVicar by the collar. Barney shoved him against the wall. "You better tell me where she is or I will crush your skull!"

"Do you thing that's wise to potentially kill a man of the cloth when you have no proof that he did anything?" Father MacVicar asked.

"We'll find her body. We'll tear this town apart to find Miranda and if we have to, we'll tear you apart and both Andy and I will make sure that no one finds the pieces," Barney threatened which put a worried look on MacVicar's face.

Andy, using his super speed, went all around the city of Independence looking for Miranda. He tried every door on every house and went detected as he searched. His search yielded no results so he expanded his search to the rural areas of town.

Standing alone in a pasture, a simple building stood abandoned. The small stone building was once part of something bigger but years of abandonment and neglect ended up wiping away most of the building. Only a small stone portion covered by a wooden roof still stood, boarded up so no one could enter the building. On the side of the building, away from the road, there was one way in. Broken wood boards in the window. Inside the building was the slaughtered and bloody body of Miranda Johnston. It was one of the last places Andy looked and he nearly destroyed the building to get inside.

He picked up the body and quickly rushed her back to Independence. Within the next hour, Father MacVicar was arrested and investigations promptly began into other missing children cases around the state and children from MacVicar's early parrishes came forward to reveal that Father MacVicar molested them.

Before they gave MacVicar to the police, Andy grabbed MacVicar and flew him high up into the air, far above Independence. "Mason City! Remember it?"

"Yeah. It was a nice town. I enjoyed being there," MacVicar was scared of the height.

"You killed someone there didn't you?" Andy asked. When MacVicar didn't answer, Andy acted like he was going to drop him.

"Yes. Yes! There was this girl there!" MacVicar shreiked. "I can't remember her name but I saw her walk by the church a lot. I liked the way her breasts looked in the tank top shirts she would wear."

"You sick son of a bitch!" Andy growled. "I hope you die!"

Kyle tried his hardest to lift the rock that trapped him and Jess against a building, he even tried to lift the rock that pinned her leg but neither one would budge. "I'm sorry, Jess," Kyle said.

Jess chuckled. "Why are you sorry? You didn't cause any of this."

"I can't lift the rocks."

"Well, the rocks are really the least of my worries, Kyle. The city is about to be annihilated by an alien. Where's Andy when you need him?" Jess sighed.

"What would Andy do?" Kyle asked. "It's not like he can stop the alien or help move the rocks."

Jess tried to cover up what she said. "But at least he would be here."

"Where is Andy anyway?" Kyle asked. "He just took off one night."

"He's off with Barney on a case."

"I'm not a huge fan of Barney but Andy is at least showing more initiative than he has since he left Mason City," Kyle explained.

"And I'm all for that," Jess said. "Kyle?"


"Come lay with me," Jess spread her arms, inviting herself to Kyle. He smiled and got down on the ground with her and held her.

Alexis and Mike were almost directly under BrainWave's ship. Alexis was busy snapping pictures while Mike was recording his voice describing the ship and what he and Alexis did to get to get that close to the ship.

"I don't know how much longer we will be able to stand in this position, but aside from the Centropolis Police and Mayor Nolan own police, we seem to be the only other people this close to the ship. The city is covered with metallic missiles as far as the eye can see. They are embedded in every street and building in the city and no one knows what they were sent to do but if they are related to BrainWave, it can't be good," Mike spoke into the recorder.

"We're lucky we didn't get pierced by one," Alexis said as she took more pictures and began making her way to get a different angle of the ship.

"What are you kids doing?" shouted one of Mayor Nolan's officers.

"We're not kids," Alexis replied.

"We're journalists. We're getting story and pictures of the ship," Mike said.

"You two need to get out of here. We don't know what that BrainWave creature is going to do next," the officer said.

"Then it shouldn't matter," Alexis said. "We're staying put."

Mike caught something in the corner of his eye. He turned his head and looked up. He saw something off in the distance and pointed toward it. "What's that?" he asked. No one knew.

The ship came undetected due to all the commotion but it screamed into Earth's atmosphere and quickly aimed toward BrainWave's ship. By the time Mayor Nolan saw it and ordered his men to pursue, it was too late. The huge ship collided, full force, with BrainWave's ship sending both of them crashing down into the buildings of Centropolis. Several collapsed on top of the ships leaving only smoldering wreckage. Alexis and Mike along with the officer ran over to the destruction to see what was going on.

When they got there, rocks and the walls to the ships were being pushed out of the way by Visor and Magic Man. Climbing out of the rubble besides Visor and Magic Man were Kismet, BrainWave and three other mysterious aliens.

When BrainWave saw what had happened and who did it, he attacked and grabbed one of the aliens by the throat. "You!" he screamed. "I should of killed all of you when I had the chance!"

Another alien used a power similar to Visor's to get BrainWave to drop his supposed ally. "But you didn't. You may have had control of us before but all of this ends now!" he said.

The male alien attacked BrainWave, knocking him down and sliding down the rubble of the ships and buildings. A slug-like alien began heading down the rubble but Visor stopped the female alien that BrainWave had grabbed.

"What's going on?" he demanded. "Who are you?"

"I am Vanxu. The big guy is Vandal and the slug is Paz. BrainWave destroyed our homes after he promised us he wouldn't as long as we help him with his collecting. We've been hunting him for a long time but it all ends now!" Vanxu said.

Visor noticed that BrainWave was getting the upperhand on Vandal. "Well you've got all the help you need from Magic Man and me," Visor said and the three took off toward BrainWave who was now getting attacked by Paz and Vandal.

BrainWave was soon overpowered by the five heroes and Paz trapped him in a force field projected by a yellow light from his chest. "We take BrainWave," Paz said in a slithering voice.

"How are you going to take him? Your ship has been destroyed," Magic Man asked.

"I can teleport us off of this planet to another ship we have docked on your moon," Vanxu said. "Thank you for helping us with BrainWave. Sorry we couldn't get here before he caused all this damage and laced your city with these missiles," she apologized.

"That's another thing, how do we get rid of these missiles?" Visor asked.

"With BrainWave defeated you can easily take the missiles and place them somewhere where they can't hurt anybody," Vandal said.

"I think I can do something slightly easier than that," Magic Man said. "Sere Hamuus Jir Tyo Grammon!" Magic Man said and suddenly all of the missiles disappeared.

"What'd you do to them?" Visor asked.

"I used my magic to send the missiles to the sun. Besides super strength and flight, I can also use magic to do just about anything," Magic Man revealed.

"Where did you come from?" Alexis said appearing behind the heroes gathering. They all looked at her as her question wasn't directed toward any one person. "Would you mind staying for a few minutes while I get some pictures and my friend here gets some information from you?"

Clean-up of Centropolis immediately began and Magic Man used his magic to send some the destruction to the sun. Removed a group of boulders revealed Kyle and Jess. "Ms. Murrow?" Magic Man said, surprised as the rubble around them disappeared.

"What?" Jess asked, not really understanding him in all the commotion going on around them.

"I mean, you're the first person we've found buried in the rubble," Magic Man covered up and helped Jess out. "Are you okay?"

"I think my ankle's broken but otherwise I'm fine," Jess said.

"I'll take you to the hospital," Magic Man said and prepared to leap into the air.

"Wait! Kyle, do you want to come with me?" she asked.

"I'll make my way over there. I'm going to help out with the clean up."

"Okay, take me away," Jess said and Magic Man leapt into the air. "Who are you?" she asked Magic Man.

"I'm Magic Man," he answered. "I'm kind of a new hero in the city."

"You seem familiar," Jess said looking hard at Magic Man.

Magic Man landed outside the emergency room of the hospital and dropped off Jess. Magic Man ducked into an alley and a few seconds later, Eli Watterson emerged from the alley. "Whew," Eli sighed, glad Ms. Murrow didn't make the connection.

Alexis and Mike become local celebrities after their exposes on the BrainWave battle; Andy and Barney return to Centropolis and Andy gets chastised by Jess about once again not being there for the city. Mayor Nolan tries to find Kismet and Visor decides to leave the city. Andy meets a new coworker.

Also, don't forget to vote for the two Story Series that you don't want to see come back in the fall.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Seven #1.6

The gang followed the railroad to the south of a huge natural mound where the town of Oak Hill used to be. Cassius paused. "We're at Oak Hill, aren't we?"

The other three looked around confused. "We don't know. We're at the base of some huge hill," Nicholas said.

"That's gotta be Oak Hill. That means we're getting close."

"Getting close? To what? The King's Elm?" Seven seemed enthusiastic.

"No," Cassius chuckled. "Well, yes, but we're near the town of Ransomville. We can rest up there for a couple of days. They have a great hotel there run by an old friend of mine. We should get there in about six or seven miles," Cassius explained and the four continued walking.

Even though they've been following a railroad track, Ransomville was the first place they had come to that had any resemblance to a city. Ransomville was established in 1868 by Major Cyrus P. Ransom who organized the town and promptly established himself as mayor and sheriff. The Major, who used the official title to impress people, practically terrorized the town and always carried a shotgun with him.

About two years later, Cyrus courted a young schoolteacher. Being the wealthiest man in Ransomville, the young teacher was ecstatic and Cyrus wasted no time in wedding and bedding the teacher who was nearly thirty years his senior. Barely a month into their marriage the teacher got pregnant. A baby girl was born but her mother died during the birth leaving Cyrus alone to care for the girl.

Cyrus hired people to care for the girl, who he named April. April knew her father was not well-liked but she adored him and as she got older he became a good father to her. In 1886, Cyrus' huge brick mansion was completed, April was 17. To celebrate the completion, Cyrus got drunk and proceeded to rape April. Two months later, Cyrus would find his daughter hanging from the rafters in his new mansion.

April left a note revealing that she was pregnant. Cyrus, devestated and heartbroken, lied and said that April got sick and died naturally. Cyrus locked up the mansion and never set foot near it again. He returned to his small stone house and became a radically changed man.

Ransomville prospered and was now a small town of nearly 450 people.

The St. Columbkillane Catholic Church and four-story Rowena Hotel stood over the other buildings that made up downtown Ransomville. The downtown area consisted of a dozen or so businesses all interconnected the way most towns were, plus four churches besides the Catholic church, a modern city hall and the hotel.

The four were amazed at the town's handsome downtown and were glad to be somewhere that just didn't consist of one or two buildings and a hodge-podge of houses.

They entered the hotel, a beautiful beacon for the town inside and out. The kids hung back while Cassius went up to the desk. A woman was working but had her back turned. "Ms. Granville?" Cassius asked.

"It's Mrs. Madison now," she said as she turned around. Her face lit up when she saw Cassius. "Cassius? Cassius Butell? How long has it been? How'd you get here?"

"Calm down, Sarah. I go by Cassius Traveler now and it's been almost fifteen years. And I walked here."

"Walked? From the Delta? But aren't you...?" Sarah hesitated.

"Yep. I'll explain it all later but right now these kids and me need a place to stay and..."

Sarah cut Cassius off. "Don't say another word," she grabbed a key to a room and gave it to Cassius. "Room 403. Top floor, see the entire area around room 403 from your window. Who are your friends?" she asked.

Cassius motioned to the kids to come over. "These are my friends from Cassoday: Tara Goebbel, Nicholas Christ and Seven Kazachov."

"Seven? That's an odd name," Sarah smiled.

"I was my parent's seventh child," Seven said.

"Ah. And where's Kazachov from?"

"It's Russian. Well, Jewish and Russian," Seven revealed.

"Oh," Sarah's expression changed. "Why don't you four go check out the room? It's a beaut!"

The room was extremely nice and even though all four of them were ready to lay down, Cassius wanted to talk to Sarah and Seven wanted to explore the town. Cassius went downstairs to talk to Sarah.

"How's married life treating you?" Cassius asked her.

"It's going fine. I love being married and our lives are going well. Josh has his own practice here in town--down the street and we own this hotel which I run so we're doing pretty good. I sometimes wish that Josh would take a job in Westport or Junction City so we can move and see other parts of the state but he's content here so I don't push very hard," Sarah explained.

"This seems like a nice town. Why do you want to leave?" Cassius asked.

"Let's just say this town has it's secrets."

Out in the streets of Ransomville, Seven was very excited to explore the town and meet some of the people. The railroad passed to the south of the town by about a mile but another railroad dissected the town in half at about Church Street. That was where Seven headed first to see the many churches that this small had. Aside from the four churches in the downtown district, four more lined Church Street between 2nd and 5th Streets. They were smaller churches and a couple of them were non-donominational.

They reached the end of the street at 1st and Church and began heading back to Main Street to return downtown. Past the north-south railroad track, Seven noticed something off in the distance.

"There's something over there," Seven pointed and Nicholas and Tara looked over in that direction but didn't see anything. "Come on, let's go see."

Nicholas and Tara relunctantly followed Seven off of the road and across the railroad tracks to a small piece of land with several small marble stones placed in three rows of ten.

"It's a small cemetery," Tara said.

Seven knealed down to one of the stones and felt the top of it. "Something's etched in it," he said.

Tara knealt down at another and looked closely at the top. "It's the Star of David," Tara said.

Seven went over to what looked like a newer stone and saw for himself the small Star of David symbol etched in the top. "Why are they all here? I didn't see a Jewish church anywhere in town."

"Maybe you can ask Sarah later. There's probably one somewhere around here. Let's go back to the hotel. I want to get a nap before dinner and that only leaves a couple hours for one," Nicholas said.

"Okay," Seven said. Tara and Nicholas left the cemetery and began to make their way back across the tracks and toward the town. Seven followed slowly, looked back over his shoulder at the marble stones.

Sarah invited Cassius, Seven, Nicholas and Tara to dinner with her and her husband, Josh. It was nice dinner and the best meal the travellers have had since leaving Cassoday. Most of the conversation was geared toward what Cassius was doing and where they were going but once the conversation moved to the town, Seven spoke up.

"While we were exploring the town," Seven motioned to Nicholas and Tara, "we found a small cemetery by the railroad tracks. All the stones were small and had the Star of David carved in them."

"Oh, yeah," Josh began, "that's the Jewish cemetery."

Sarah and Cassius looked at each other nervously.

"That's what we thought but we didn't see any Jewish churches or really anything Jewish in town," Seven pointed out.

"Because we don't have anything like that in this town," Josh said matter-of-factly.

"Why not if you have a cemetery?" Seven asked.

"We don't have any Jewish people in Ransomville," Josh said. "We make sure of it."

"What do you mean?" Seven was suspicious.

"We take measures to make sure Ransomville has no Jewish people in it. And that cemetery is proof of that."

"So you...kill any Jewish person that comes into town?" Seven asked.

"If they don't leave town within a day, yes."

"That's murder," Seven said. "Why haven't all of you been arrested?" Seven asked.

"Seven, just let it go right now," Cassius hushed.

"So if I don't leave Ransomville by tomorrow afternoon are you going to kill me?" Seven asked.

Josh didn't know what to say but said the first thing that came to mind, "If you were Jewish, yes."

"Through and through," Seven said, almost daring Josh to do something. "My mother was a Jew from Egypt and my father from Russia. If you need anything, you know where my room is," and Seven left the table. "Excuse me."

The dark figure broke into the brick mansion on the west side of town. He hoisted up the bloody body and carried it inside. The figure tossed the body onto the floor of the mansion, blood splattered. When the figure walked away from the mansion, the brick building was engulfed in flames and even though the citizens of Ransomville tried with all their might to extinguish the flames, the building was a total loss.

A loud knocking came from the door of Room 403. All four woke up but Cassius went to the door. A sheriff stood in the doorway holding a gun. "Cassius Traveler?"

"Yes," Cassius said haltingly.

"Please come with me. You're under arrest for the murder of Cyrus P. Ransom."

"What? He's been here all night, asleep," Seven said.

"Anyone to witness that?" the sheriff asked.

Everyone looked at each other. "We were all asleep," Tara said.

"Come with me, Mr. Traveler," the sheriff said.

"What proof do you have that Cassius did it?" Seven asked.

"A witness to the fire said she saw a black man enter the mansion and then leave shortly after the fire started and last time anyone knew, you were the only black man in Ransomville," the sheriff explained.

Cassius went with the sheriff while the three kids stayed in the hotel room.

The Ransomville adventure ends, Tara fears for Seven's life; Seven tries to exonorate Cassius and The King's Elm.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

POtW: St. Boniface Cemetery

This Catholic cemetery is located in Scipio, Kansas which is located two miles east of Highway 59 in Anderson County. I stopped by after work one day to see what all Scipio had to offer. A Catholic Church, an old Catholic School and this cemetery. When I saw this picture enlarged I loved how the rolling hills in the background made this picture pop.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Turn Him Into an Apple!

Born Loser 05-20-09
My health teacher in high school didn't like me. I don't know what I said or did that caused her to stop liking me but it was pretty apparent that she couldn't stand me. I want to say that it was because I knew more about the human reproductive system than her but I just like to think that every teacher has that one student they just don't care for for one reason or another (or no reason).

The moment I knew she didn't like me was when she called me a "druggie failure" because I didn't turn in one assignment. And up til then I had never taken drugs and what's her definition of failure? Someone who doesn't reach their full potential? I have the rest of my life to reach my full potential where as she will remain a teacher until being forced into the retirement. One of my English weren't huge fans of me either. I had wanted to be an author and I think they wanted to squash that dream because they were unable to achieve it. I'm a firm believer in "those that can't do, teach" which a few exceptions and that usually only extends to high school and some junior high teachers.

The reason I bring this up is that Wilberforce's teacher (which is different from his last one) looks like my old health teacher only taller.

Seven #1.6 later tonight. LAMNB will be back June 1st.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Har, Har!

Born Loser 05-19-09
So Lou spent his entire Vegas vacation putting dollar bills in the change machine? That's the worst vacation I've ever heard. Lou is also not an attractive man. What's sad is that after looking at some of the people Brutus work with, Brutus is pretty attractive. And that's really sad.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Secret Identity #1.10

Andy and Barney sat with Father MacVicar in the church. Andy looked at him skeptically and let Barney do all the talking. But Andy listened. Listened to MacVicar's breathing and heartbeat.

"How long have you been at this church?" asked Barney.

"I was sent here about a month and a half ago. I was originally in Hutchinson for three months and in Wichita, in various churches, before that," MacVicar explained.

"Moved around a lot," Andy said suspiciously.

MacVicar smiled at Andy. "I am sent where I am needed."

"Did you know Miranda Johnston?" Barney asked.

"I knew of her. She just started coming here about two weeks ago. She really seemed troubled. I approached her after she came to last Wednesday's services. I told her she could always come talk to me in private if she needed to. She seemed very open to the idea, I even expected her to show up if not that night, the next."

"Did she ever take you up on that offer?"

MacVicar paused then looked down solemnly. "No."

"Your sermon we heard a part of," Andy began. "You can't really believe that, can you?"

"When girls your age--any age," MacVicar pointed to Andy with his hand, "dress like cheap prostitutes, they demean and undermine everything they stand for. They do, in fact, bring it on themselves."

"No girl that goes out in clothes like that expects to be attacked or raped," Andy said.

"Young man, which girl would you rather have sex with? A girl wearing a white spaghetti strap tanktop and tight jean shorts or someone who's dressed like a librarian?" MacVicar smiled.

"This isn't about me, Father," Andy snarled.

"Andy, calm down," Barney said. "One last question, Father. Did you notice if Miranda ever worse revealing clothes?"

"On more than one occasion in my church."

"Thank you, Father," Barney said and he and Andy left the church.

"He knows where she is," Andy said. "His breathing changed when we started talking about her. I say we talk to the diocese in Wichita and find out the real reason he's been moved so many times."

"I don't want to drive to Wichita," Barney whined.

"I'll call you when I get there," and Andy sped off down the street then lept into the air and flew away.

"Oh, yeah," Barney said. "I keep forgetting that."

"War On BrainWave"
"I guess we can take all the help we can get," Visor said and extended his arm for Magic Man to shake it.

"So what's the plan?" Kismet asked.

Visor and Magic Man looked at each other. Suddenly, from the front of the ship, a laser beam shot out and struck a nearby skyscraper.

"I think the first thing we need to do is disable those lasers and any other weapons that thing may have attached to it," Magic Man said.

"Then let's go to it," Visor said.

"I have an idea," Kismet said then suddenly engulfed BrainWave's ship in a huge electromagnetic shield. "Hopefully the more power I send into this shield, it should be able to short out all of BrainWave's equipment rendering him nearly powerless."

"Hope so," Visor said. "I looks like it's working." Visor noticed one of the laser guns and the windows on the ship begin to break and shatter. "Magic Man, follow me around to the back. There's a way in and now I'm ready for any surprises that come."

Visor and Magic Man flew around to the rear of the ship and landed on the dock that Visor had entered before. Visor powered up his hand, the energy crackling around it. The arms that had grabbed Visor before were limp and powerless after Kismet's attack. Magic Man cautiously walked behind Visor.

On the ground, Mike and Alexis were trying to work their way to the ship. Streets were blocked off, and police were guarding the area, keeping people out. Also, people were being evacuated which made it hard to walk through some of the streets.

"This alien invasion could make our career, Mike," Alexis said.

"Or end our lives," Mike smiled. "I can't believe I agreed to come with you."

"Yeah, but you did. And you can't go back on it now."

They were now only a couple blocks away from the ship, near the rubble of the recently destroyed building. They could clearly see the ship and both gasped in amazement when they saw the ship up close.

"That thing is huge. I sure hope Visor and Kismet can stop it," Mike said.

"I'm sure they will be able to. Come on, let's try to get underneath it," Alexis began climbing over the rubble and Mike followed.

"You just want us to die, don't you?"

Kyle and Jess were trying to leave the city. They had planned to head down to Mason City but things were not going well. Most of downtown was barricaded to people out but it was also hindering people trying to get out. The city wasn't under evacuation, Mayor Nolan had not ordered it but people were evacuating anyway.

"I don't think we're going to be able to get out of town," Jess said.

"We just need to find one street or alley that isn't barricaded and we'll be able to get to Mason City," Kyle said. "I'll keep you safe."

Over at BrainWave's ship, BrainWave ran to the main console and saw Kismet hovering outside his ship. "Her!" he snarled.

BrainWave closed his eyes and began to concentrate. Suddenly, Kismet looked as if she was hit. She began flying toward the ship with a blank expression on her face. BrainWave opened the door in the cockpit and let Kismet in.

Kismet went to a room and began using her powers to charge the ship back up, practically fixing everything. BrainWave then began blasting more buildings in the city, completely destroying them.

Kyle and Jess dodged several falling bricks, stone and glass but became trapped against the foundation of the building. Visor and Magic Man finally arrived at BrainWave, angrier than before.

"How the hell did you do that?" Visor growled.

"I used your friend," BrainWave pointed to Kismet in the electrical closet. "You can't stop me. I will destroy your civilization!"

Andy had been gone for six hours which worried Barney but Andy returned to Independence. "I spoke with the Bishop of the Wichita Diocese and our Father MacVicar has been moved more than seven times. Four churches in Wichita and the three he mentioned," Andy began.

"So? He already told us about that. Why was he moved so much?"

"At every single church, Father MacVicar was accused of sexual molestation. Both boys and girls. The church moved him in order to avoid a scandal," Andy said.

"I think we should pay Father MacVicar another visit," Barney stood up and grabbed his coat.

Miranda was crying. Father MacVicar came into the building brandishing a knife. "I'm sorry, Miranda. I have to do this. They're getting too close to finding you and my secret," MacVicar grabbed Miranda and held her. He began crying as he pressed the knife against Miranda's throat and began moving from left to right very slowly. "Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed by thy name....."

Barney hunts down Father MacVicar while Andy looks for Miranda; Visor and Magic Man fight BrainWave; Mike and Alexis try to save Kyle and Jess.

Doctors Are Idiots

Born Loser 05-18-09
Brutus just wants her to die. He knows all about that if she eats just one bite of steak she will have a seizure and collapse and her bones will turn to dust.

But all joking aside, I'd just have the steak. Unless it would cause instant death or something. I love steak and I know that I am one of those people that would not really change my lifestyle if the doctor told me to.

On a side note, if you stare at the second panel long enough, your eyes will start to bleed from the tear ducts.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

So Optomistic and Then...

Born Loser 05-17-09
I hate waking up to an alarm clock. When I worked the evening shift it was so sweet because I'd go to bed at like 10:00 in the morning and wake up on my own about 6:30 or 8:30 depending on what was on TV.

I think alarm clocks are an abomination to American society. The 9/11 terrorists probably used alarm clocks...

Joe & Querty #1.3

Grace Conrad sat in the high school library doing the homework she was given today. Grace was a short girl with dirty blond hair--almost more brown than blond--she had a small frame, numerous pimples on her face and a slightly big nose. Grace was a quiet girl and mostly kept to herself. Few people even knew she existed.

Aaron Kimball was the exact opposite of Grace. Aaron was extremely handsome and one of the most popular guys in school. Aaron came into the library and saw Grace sitting at a table. He raised an eyebrow and walked over to her. "Hi," he smiled.

Grace slowly looked up at him. "Hello."

"I'm Aaron Kimball," Aaron began but Grace interrupted him.

"I know who you are," she said in a no-nonsense tone.

Aaron smiled. Awkward silence surrounded them as Grace returned to her work. "I know this may sound weird but would you want to go out?" Aaron asked.

Grace looked up again. "Like on a date? With you?"



This stumped Aaron. "I don't know. Because that's what kids our age do."

"Guys like you don't date girls like me," Grace said.

"Girls like you? You mean cute, intelligent girls?"

Grace smiled a little at Aaron.

Joe fixed his tie in the mirror then made a full turn to make sure he looked okay. He went over to his bed and slid Querty onto his left hand. "How do I look?" Joe asked.

"You look nice although I still don't really know why I can't go," Querty said.

"It's a first date, Querty and you don't really make the best first impression and I want everything to go smoothly tonight," Joe said.

"So who are you going out with?" Querty asked.

"She contacted me through email after that speed dating thing. Her name is Shirley."

"Well, I hope everything goes good tonight. Be home by eleven."

Joe took Querty off his hand and laid him down on the bed. "Funny, Querty. Don't wait up."

Joe and Shirley sat across from each other on the second level of the restaurant. Shirley was eating lasagna while Joe opted for a chicken meal. The chicken came as more of a game hen and Joe was confused as to how to eat it. He tried both picking it up and using a knife and fork and to be honest, he didn't know what the polite way to eat it was.

"I wanted chicken but...not a...tiny...chicken," Joe said, slightly embarrassed.

"Well my lasagna is delicious if you want a couple bites of it," Shirley offered and pointed a fork with some lasagna on it.

"Thank you," Joe leaned in for the bite.

"Oh, you thought I was serious..." she moved the fork away from Joe's mouth.


"I'm just kidding. Here," she moved the fork closer and he took the bite.

"Wow," Joe began, "that is good. Next time I'm getting that."

"You think there'll be a next time?" Shirley asked.

"Eventually, yes. With or without you. Hopefully with."

Shirley smiled. "So when do I get to meet Querty?" she asked.


"Querty? You've been talking about him all night. Almost as much as your mother and sister."

"Well, Querty...doesn't really get to meet new people."

"Why not?" Shirley asked.

"He can't leave the house without me because..."

"Because he's a shut-in? Does he have agoraphobia? That's so interesting."

"He doesn't have agoraphobia. He's just...different. I'm sure you'll meet him soon."

"How everything going here?" asked a waitress who suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Everything is delicious. Can I have a box to put my little chicken in? I'm going to take it home where I don't have dozens of judging eyes on me while I eat."

Bess Vanacore stared in awe at the sight of Aaron and Grace getting ice cream together. Nicki was sipping on her drink and talking about the numbers of stories she's had to go through since becoming school paper editor but Bess wasn't listening.

"What are they doing together?" Bess asked in amazement.

"Bess? Who cares? Aaron's a jerk and Grace is...well, Grace. After tonight you probably won't see them together ever again."

"But what brought them together? People like them don't just end up together."

"They didn't end up together. They are a high school couple. I'd be shocked if they lasted a month--hell, a week."

Across the street, Aaron and Grace ate their ice cream in near silence. "Thanks for coming out with me," Aaron said.

"You've already thanked me for that," Grace said.

"Sorry, I guess I'm a little nervous."

"Nervous? You've dated some of the hottest girls in school and you're nervous with me?" Grace chuckled.

"It takes more to impress a girl like you," Aaron said. "Those other girls, you only have to do a few things and they immediately fall in love with you but you--girls like you--you have to work hard to get and it's usually more interesting and worthwhile."

"Really? So why are you working so hard to get me?" Grace asked.

"No reason," Aaron said and he leaned in closer to Grace.

"Oh my God!" Bess shrieked from across the street. "They're kissing!"

"Yeah, that's great. Do you think I should should put the Homecoming ad on the top of page 4 or go with the editorial cartoon?" Nicki asked but Bess didn't hear and didn't answer.

Three weeks passed and Aaron and Grace seemed happy but soon, they broke up which took a devastating toll on Bess. Bess was in deep mourning for several days afterward but she was the only one who really cared that they had broken up.

"What happened?" Bess wondered out loud to Nicki.

"Who cares? It's just a stupid high school relationship. Can you please help me with this format layout?" Nicki begged angrily.

"Sure," Bess went over to Nicki but didn't begin helping her. "I should just ask Grace. I bet he cheated on her."

"Who really cares? I need to get this paper formatted, Bess."

"I'm gonna go find Grace. I'll be right back," Bess walked off and out into the hallways of the school.

Nicki rested her head on her desk and exhaled loudly.

"And you're okay with that?" Bess asked after she had found and confronted Grace.

"It was just sex. We took precautions. We both knew this relationship would go nowhere. It was just a little bit of fun," Grace explained.

"But he took your virginity."

"Yeah. He gets to say he took a girl's virginity and I get to say I slept with the most popular guy in school. Both sides win," Grace smiled.

"I don't get it..." Bess was confused but Grace just walked off. Bess went back to the journalism classroom and sat down next to Nicki who was still working on the formatting. "They were just kind of...using each other."

"That's great. Are you done obsessing over this idiotic high school side story?" Nicki asked.

"I guess. Now what do you need help on?"

Joe and Shirley walked down the sidewalk holding hands. They stopped in front of his house and they looked at each other. "Can I come in and meet Querty?" Shirley asked.

Joe looked from Shirley to the house. "I don't know. My mom is home and I don't know if..."

"It's up to you. You can say 'no' if you want," Shirley smiled.

"Yeah. Maybe just not yet. But soon. Querty is dying to meet you, too."

"Ok, I'll see you later. Thanks for the ice cream," Shirley kissed Joe on the cheek and got in her car.

Joe walked into the house and closed the door.

Shirley meets Querty; Principal Anschutz returns; Buddy gets evicted and Kip offers to have him move in.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

POtW: Media Public Library

Believe it or not but this small building was once the Media Public Library. Media was a small town situated between Baldwin City and Prairie City. Media still exists as West Baldwin and this small building is now used as a tool shed for the Prairie City-Mt. Cavalry Cemetery.
Prairie City Cemetery Tool Shed

Diet Born Loser, Now With 25% Less Wilberforce

Born Loser 05-16-09
Regular cola and diet cola taste different no matter what people say. I think if you drink enough of the diet crap it dulls your senses to the delectable taste of regular cola.

Also, just tell the waitress and she will give you another drink. It's not like the diet cola costs more. God just apparently doesn't want Gladys to lose weight. So drink that regular cola because for tonight, it is a treat!


Friday, May 15, 2009


Born Loser 05-15-09
Well, if I were the all-powerful CEO of a tea cozy company, I'd love myself, too.

And how old could Veeblefester really be? Fifty? At the most sixty. Some sources say that Brutus is fifty years old. But everyone in this strip still wear vests which is something I think went out of business norm in the late 1950s, early 1960s.

I am not on game this morning. Maybe tomorrow's entry will be better.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Brutus Is Inadequate and Fat

Nearly two days without the Internet kind of sucks. I got behind in my writing and blogging and there are so few precious days between now and the 20th when I take a break until June 1st. But here are the last three days of Brutus and the gang.

I don't trust that psychiatrist. He seems like he's not doing Brutus any good and his furniture looks really uncomfortable.

Born Loser 05-13-09
Did Brutus really need to be the shot in this strip? He doesn't say anything and just gives us his angry look when Mother Gargle insults him. Right in front of his son, that is so disrespectful. Brutus may not be much but he's the only father Wilberforce has so any comment about him is a comment about Wilberforce.

Oh, and the answer is water. Or nougat. I can't remember.

Born Loser 05-14-09
Mother Gargle's insult from yesterday led Brutus to go to the doctor where his doctor suggested he stop eating all together and just run. That's the stupidest advice I've ever heard a doctor give.

Who the hell gave these officially licensed medical practitioners their degrees?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Veeblefester Needs Anger Management

I have no comment for today's strip. I'm just glad that Chip's copy and paste function on his computer worked for the first two panels.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Happy Mother's Day, I Guess.....

Born Loser 05-10-09
FYI, Chip Sansom lives in Ohio just in case you couldn't tell from all of his Ohio references.

Tomato juice became Ohio's state beverage in 1965, the same year that The Born Loser began. Coincidence? I think so. I don't like tomatoes plain either but I like them on my burgers and other sandwiches but they have to be decent tomatoes, not wilted or rotting or flat slivers pretending to be tomatoes. Usually I say no tomatoes unless I can tell what they look like and know that they are decent tomatoes. However, Brutus seems to have some form of utter disdain for the fregetable. And I'm pretty sure it's because his mother was sexually assaulted by a tomato and Brutus walked in on them.

Something bothers me about today's strip though, where's a Mother's Day reference? I had worked myself up waiting for a Mother's Day strip and this strip has let me down. Which you'd think I'd be used to by now.

#191: The End of MySpace?

No, I'm pretty sure MySpace isn't going anywhere but I'm wondering what I'm going to do with it. I've had MySpace since the summer of 2006 and I used to post a blog on it which ran for, like, 88 entries but eventually I realized that I was in my twenties and decided to use LiveJournal and then Blogger to rant about my life. I would just delete my MySpace account but there are three friends on it that don't have Facebook and I'm becoming more of a Facebook fan because I don't have to look at the blinking, flashy crap people put on their MySpace profiles however I do wish that Facebook had more color choices than blue. I also think Facebook is a bit more adult than MySpace because I hate receiving bulletins. I really do. Especially when they are questionnaires and excerpts from people's lives. That's what blogs are for.

I'm a huge fan of technology and I jumped on the MySpace wagon, Facebook, IM'ing but I don't know understand Twitter. Well, I understand it but I think it's stupid. Who really wants to know what you are doing every other minute of everyday? I haven't updated my Twitter status in over a month (@tauycreek if anyone cares). I find Twitter stupid and the Ashton Kutcher vs. CNN thing awhile ago made me mad. Ashton's kind of a douche just so you all know. And CNN goes around raping people's wives.

I've thought about changing up my MySpace and make it more based on Tauy Creek, Watch This and Point of Beginning but I'm not really sure I want to start all that editing and then not like it and have to revert it back. Since I started using the Internet regularly, I've been looking for a place where I could have my own website for really cheap. My first was The Corner of 16th & Massachusetts, a site on Yahoo! GeoCities which has recently shut down. I only kept that for a couple months before using MySpace for everything until trying to start up a Blogger blog (I had an original Watch This Space at and I numbered each entry but I finally brought it to an end after #39 when I realized I wanted to do Losers Are Made, Not Born. In fact, I think #38 was a prelude to LAMNB by featuring the strip being made fun of but with the last panel cut off (lousy formatting).

I wonder how many would stick around if MySpace starting charging for their services?

Until next time, I remain...

Saturday, May 09, 2009

DVR Love

Born Loser 05-09-09
I don't see an issue with this. When your life completely sucks and you have nothing to live for sometimes new episodes of your favorite TV show are all that get you through the year. I know that it was Dawson's Creek that got me through the early 2000s because I wanted to know how it ended.

I, too, love my DVR (whoever actually says Digital Video Recorder is a dumbass) but not to the point of ejaculating in my pants like Brutus.

POtW: The Flooded Kaw

All the rain we got a couple weeks raised the Kansas River that flows through Lawrence so I went to Burcham Park and got a picture of the flooded river going under the Massachusetts Street bridges. The buildings, from left to right, are The Riverfront Plaza, Abe & Jake's Landing, Bowersock Mills & Power Company, the Old Iron Works Building and Lawrence City Hall.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Teacher Has a Stroke

Born Loser 05-08-09
I've just read Born Loser for the very first time. I don't know who these people are or who the hell Wilberforce is. Is Wilberforce even a name or some sort of anti-inertia theory?

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Road Trip! Oh, wait...

Born Loser 05-07-09
As much as I would love to see a week's worth of Brutus and Veeblefester running around in Japan and drawings of Japanese people with buck teeth and slanted eyes, I'm worried about Brutus' face in the second panel as he clearly means to infer that he knows about that part of the globe because of his prepubescent Asian fetish.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Secret Identity #1.9

As dawn broke, a massive ship was only a few miles above Centropolis. Everyone saw it and wondered what it was and what it was doing there. Cal Nolan has stared out of the window inside the NolanMark for several hours while his space and aeronautics teams studied the ship and tried to get a communication link up to the ship.

"Why the hell is this taking so long?" Cal snapped.

"We're being blocked. Every time we find an open channel, the ship blocks that one. There's no way we're opening communications with this thing."

"Keep trying. This thing is hovering over my city. Are the police on standby?" Cal asked.

"Yes, sir," said Cal's assistant. "Both the city police and the NolanMark police."

"Good. They both need to be ready at a moment's notice to attack."

Inside the ship, a tall, lanky figure stood at a huge monitor scanning a crystal clear image of Centropolis. The figure scanned the image and centered in on Centropolis' second tallest building, 1 Centropolis Tower. The figure tapped a few buttons on his massive console and a second later, a laser beam flew out of the ship and into the tower decimating the top 16 stories leaving only charred remains of brick and steel.

"That could've been us," Cal stared in awe at the Centropolis Tower. "Who gives a damn about communication, give the order to the police. Attack!"

Visor flew toward the ship with the hopes of punching his way into it. Instead, as soon as he got close to the ship another laser shot out, striking Visor square in the chest and rocketing him back into an apartment building. Visor clawed his way out of the rubble and made sure that people were evacuating the building then flew back to the ship but kept a safe distance.

"Gotta rethink this. Maybe from behind..." Visor said and flew out of the way of the ship and toward the back of the ship. The ship was unarmed and vulnerable from what Visor could see so he carefully flew into a loading port. Visor carefully walked into the dark port. Suddenly the lights turned on and something big hit him in the back of the head and everything went dark.

The NolanMark police were sent out. After seeing what happened with Visor, they kept their distance. The city police were on the ground keeping people away from the battlesite. The NolanMark Police fired at the ship but their guns had no effect. As the police were starting to give up, a voice boomed from the ship. "I am BrainWave! I have travelled the universe in search for the greatest minds. This planet is next. I will decimate all of your countries in my search for them but your legacy will live on in my ship. You will obey and you will pull back any military actions. BrainWave has spoken!" and the ship went silent again.

Cal pulled back the police force but kept the city police in the streets to keep the populace away from where the ship was hovering.

Cal wondered when and how BrainWave would attack. He wasn't prepared and he hated feeling that way. Visor hadn't been seen in over half an hour and his police force was no match for that massive ship. Cal exhaled sharply and left the aeronautic center and returned to his office. He shuddered to think what BrainWave would do next.

BrainWave smiled and took leave of his post. He walked to another part of the ship where Visor was being held by giant robotic tentacles. "Your city is cowering," BrainWave said. "Did you actually believe you had found a weak spot in my defenses? I've been cascading through the universe for thousands of years, I've learned a thing or two about how people feel about what I am doing."

"You're destroying their livelihoods!" Visor said.

"I am keeping their history alive. Taking their greatest and intelligent minds and allowing them to live on forever," BrainWave said.

"But you destroy their civilization!" Visor added.

"Because if I didn't, it would continue to grow and evolve. The civilization must come to an end in order for everything to remain the same."

"I haven't been around long but that's a horrible argument," Visor scoffed.

"When Earth is annihilated, I will dump you back there to rot!" BrainWave sneered.

Kyle was hurriedly packing up his important stuff when Kismet suddenly crackled into his room. "Kismet! It's been a while. Where've you been?"

"Exploring. Checking things out. Thought I'd help out on this alien ship thing."

"Probably a good idea. Visor attacked it earlier this morning and he hasn't been seen since. Me and Jess are packing up our essentials and are going to head out of town. Andy is with Barney on a case," Kyle explained. "I'm sure you can stop that ship. Or at least help out Visor if he's still alive."

"I'm on it. You keep packing and stay safe," Kismet said and then shot out of the window toward the ship.

Jess came into Kyle's bedroom. "What's going on in here?" she asked.

"Kismet's going to help out," Kyle smiled.

Kismet flew several times around the ship looking for a weak spot or something that would help her. Instead, she enveloped the ship in a huge ball of electricity. Inside the ship, computer monitors shattered and electronic equipment shorted out.

BrainWave abandoned Visor and ran to the main console to see what was happening. Visor, his powers no longer nullified by the restraints broke himself out and quickly flew out of the ship. He noticed the lasers pointing at Kismet and starting to warm up. He flew as fast as he could and pushed Kismet out of the way, barely skirting the laser.

"Thanks for that," she said.

"Thanks for doing whatever you did to help me out of that ship," Visor said.

"Well, the two of us should be able to stop that ship," Kismet.

"Room for one more?" asked another voice. Neither Visor or Kismet had ever heard the voice before. They turned and saw a man floating along side them in a red outfit with a styalized "MM" on his chest. The man had dark black hair and sparkling blue eyes. His white cape flowed elegantly behind him. "I'm Magic Man, and I want to help you."

Visor, Kismet and Magic Man fight BrainWave; Kyle and Jess try to get out of Centropolis while Mike and Alexis try to get pictures and a story. Andy and Barney question the preacher in Independence and Andy thinks he's solved the kidnapped.

Seis de Mayo!!

You know, I completely forgot about posting a comic yesterday. I was busy working and never got around to it. But we didn't get much except a very badly colored Mexican man.
Born Loser 05-05-09

As for today's strip:
Born Loser 05-06-09
We still don't get much. I'm thinking Brutus got the words mixed up thus being the joke of the strip (he's broke so he needs fixing). However, if Brutus really does live that that motto then it makes me wonder how the Veeblefester Corporation has lasted this long. Another thing that needs clarifying is Brutus' position at Veeblefester Inc. In some strips he seems like 'Fester's right-hand man and here he just heads up one department. Which is it Chip? Which is it?!

HEY!! Vote on the poll!

Monday, May 04, 2009

Seven #1.5

Seven, Cassius, Nicholas and Tara had followed the railroad tracks the last two days and have traveled about seventy miles. Seven was more interested in Cassius' visions and his journey up to Cassoday. Tara and Nicholas remained relatively quiet.

The sun was almost down and Cassius stopped and looked around. "We should stop for the night," he said.

"When are we going to get to the King's Elm?" Tara asked.

"I don't know," Cassius began, " my visions aren't clear as to where the seven things are but I know them when I get to them."

"I just don't want to walk right past it. We've passed hundreds of elm trees since leaving Cassoday and I keep getting my hopes up," Tara said.

"I will know when we come to it," Cassius said sternly. It took me nearly two months to get to Cassoday so it will just take time."

"Cassius will tell us when we get there. It's obviously a very special elm tree, Tara," Seven said sternly.

Tara sat down on the railroad grade and sighed. The guys went to the bottom of the grade and began to set up camp. Seven and Nicholas began putting down the blankets while Cassius gathered up sticks for a fire.

"I can't believe a blind man like Cassius is so active," Seven said in amazement. "I know a part of it is the visions but I still think it's amazing."

"I see something," Cassius suddenly said. "We should take turns keeping watch tonight."

"Secrets In the Night"
Seven took the first watch. He sat against a nearby tree and watched his friends sleep. Seven was as tired as them but opted to take the first watch because he felt it would be easier to stay up. It wasn't quite as easy as he thought. He began drifting off to sleep about an hour after everybody else.

"Seven?" asked a voice. Seven lifted his head and his eyes opened slightly. "Seven? Wake up, sweetie."

Seven's eyes popped open. "Mom?" he asked.

Standing in front of him, dressed in a white flowing robe, illuminated by the moon so that she looked like an angel was his mother, Eliana. Seven was too stunned to say anything or react but teared up at the sight of his mom.

"You are so handsome. You look just like your father," Eliana said quietly and reached out to touch Seven's face.

Seven moved his head out of her reach. "I've missed you."

"I'm sorry, Seven. I didn't want to leave but I had to. I didn't want to miss seeing you grow up. I was so scared that your father wouldn't be able to handle it but I see Tzviel did just fine," Eliana looked back at Tara, still sleeping. "He did just fine with both of you."

"He's been the best father anyone could ever ask for and I'm sure Tara would agree," Seven said.

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right," Eliana said. "Be careful on this journey. It will be very long and even when you reach the Valley, it will still be difficult."

"What are you...What are you talking about?"

"You'll see," Eliana began to fade away. Soon she was gone and Seven jolted himself awake.

"No, Mom!" he shouted. His eyes adjusted to the darkness and he saw Cassius knealing down in front of him. "Cassius. I'm sorry. I fell asleep."

"No problem. Dreaming of your mom, huh?" he asked.

"Yeah. She died when I was seven and I've never dreamed about her until tonight. It was...I never realized how much I missed her until just now," Seven said and stood up to stretch.

"How did she die, if you don't mind me asking," Cassius asked.

"She got sick. That's really all I know. Is it your turn to watch?" Seven asked.

"Yep. It's about midnight. Get some sleep, see you in the morning."

Seven went over with Nicholas and Tara and immediately fell asleep. Cassius stayed under the tree and looked up at the night sky and smiled. He sat alone in the dark for a long time until Tara woke up and walked over to him.

"How's it going?" she asked.

"Is it three already?" Cassius asked.

"No, I woke up early. Doing okay out here?"

"Yeah. It's a really nice night. I think the stars are so beautiful," Cassius said.

Tara looked up and then back at Cassius. "Can I ask you something personal?"

"Sure, Tara."

"How did you become blind?"

"Very good question. I remember it so clearly. I was 15 and I, along with my mother and father were working on this plantation near the Mississippi Delta. We were happy there but we were still slaves. My father was out working in the fields and I was returning home from school and I walked into my house and saw my owner--normally a really nice guy, very personable and kind--on top of my mother. From the way she was screaming and the look on her face, he was raping her. They looked at me and I turned to go find my father in the fields. Malcolm--that was my owner's name--caught me and dragged me into a shed. He whipped me for what seemed like hours and then, just so I couldn't see anything else I wasn't supposed to see, he poured some sort of acid on my eyes. The scars healed pretty well but, well, now I can't see," Cassius told.

"That's horrible," Tara said.

"It was at the time. At 18, Malcolm kicked me off the plantation. I never saw my parents again and I've done the best I could but I do believe that these visions are the best thing to ever happen to me. So in retrospect, I guess being blinded has been pretty good, too."

"That's being positive," Tara said. "I originally didn't want to come on this journey."

"I figured as much. Why did you come? You didn't have to," Cassius asked.

Tara looked at where Seven was sleeping. "I came for Seven," she smiled. "I love him and I want to be with him and be in his life no matter what the cost."

"That's a very good reason. I'm glad you decided to go. Having a woman on board will keep things interesting and you'll think with your head. You'll think things out before acting," Cassius said. "And I know Seven really enjoys having you here."

"I know," Tara said and smiled as she looked up at the stars. "You can turn in if you want. I'll start my watch."

The group comes to the town of Hazlewood, which is haunted by the demons of it's past.


Born Loser 05-04-09
Once again, Brutus' touch has turned something long and useful into something impotent and useless.

Some quick news, Tauy Creek has a new email address: so any private messages or questions or comments or suggestions can be directed there. Also, the donate button has been re-added to the site near the bottom with all of the site tracker buttons. Please feel free to donate to the virtual tip jar to help keep this site going. Don't forget to answer the poll on the side about the Story Series. Join the Facebook group and tell your friends about this blog.

Sorry for not having a better post for #500 but I was busy this weekend. I have decided to post an annual issue later this month. I don't know what it feature but it will be huge so be prepared.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Pansy-Ass Bitch, or Things That Go Bump In the Night

Born Loser 05-03-09
Is it me or does the "Mom" in the third panel seem kind of tacked on? Which further leads me to believe that Wilberforce is not their son but a mere male clone of Gladys (because let's face it, her genes are much better than Brutus' and are much more manly). You see, back in 1999, the Thornapples wanted a perfect son so they "volunteered" themselves to Veeblefester Cloning, LLC (a subdivision of Veeblefester Tea Cozy, Inc.) but it was concluded that Brutus just wasn't man enough for the process so they took Gladys' egg and some of her sperm (don't ask) and cloned Wilberforce. And while he is the perfect son, he does have Brutus for a father so that kind of threw a monkey wrench in the cloning process and in 2002, President George W. Bush stopped funding Veeblefester Cloning, LLC.

In another interesting fact, Veeblefester Cloning also cloned over a hundred Dick Cheneys between 1999 and 2001 until the government started using Cheney-Bots built by Halliburton in 2003. It turned out the clones were become too emotional. All but seven were rounded up and buried in a landfill in New Mexico.

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Golfing Achievements ARE Fun!

Born Loser 05-02-09
It's really sad that Brutus doesn't even have other golf players to talk to at the course. He has to come home and talk to his wife who doesn't know diddley-squat about golf. It's there anyone at the golf course that even remotely likes Brutus? Did Brutus play alone? I'm thinking this is the saddest Born Loser yet because it just proves Brutus doesn't have any friends ANYWHERE.

And once again, I'd like to think our wonderful sponsors brought to us by Project Wonderful. And I forgot to thank someone last week for helping get POB#190 to happen, Robert Hey of Baldwin City, Kansas for allowing me to take those pictures on his property. Don't forget about the new poll on the side about which two Story Series to cancel. And please tell your friends about this blog.

POtW: Shirley House

This is a picture of the remains of the Issac Shirley house west of Lecompton. I had always known the house was there but found a cemetery nearby so wanted to learn who was buried there and all that. I ended up finding an historical newsletter talking all about the Shirley house and the nearby cemetery so I was very lucky. Out of all the pictures I took of the house, I thought this one was better as it gets scenery and a portion of the wall. You can see other pictures of the house here.
Shirley House Ruins Through Trees

Friday, May 01, 2009

Let the Summer Weight Jokes Begin!

Born Loser 05-01-09
Why do grossly overweight people still feel the need to look good in a bathing suit? Most even slightly overweight people I know won't even attempt because they know they wouldn't look good. Plus we don't really need to see Gladys in a bathing suit. I've seen enough disturbing things in my life.

Also, I'm hoping to get all the writing I'm past due on done this weekend and posted throughout the week. Plus, a new header will be posted starting June 1st and something new will be starting then too. There's also a new poll up to vote on which two Story Series will NOT return in the Fall. I'm also coming up on my 500th post of WTS and 200th post of POB so I'll try to find something special to do with them when the time comes. Enjoy.