Wednesday, July 30, 2008

National Cheescake Day?

Why does the art look like something a kid drew? Even though this Mason is a "legacy artist", I'm glad that he's still at least trying to draw something funny. I mean the second panel is hilarious.

Yay! All the backseat sex Luann can handle!

Does Chip spend all his time on the Internet looking up stupid "holidays" that are in reference to food? Also, Gladys' birthday is on July 30th while Brutus' is on March 3rd. Let's keep those in mind as the comics keep coming and see if they remain the same. I'm betting they don't

Thanks for reminding me, Andy Capp, you drunken wife-beater. I originally wrote about the American Medical Association Heart Walk that I did and posted a link to donate money. I have edited this post to re-add the comics that were deleted and to remove the link to the donation site.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Brutus' Dead Tree

"I have to be constantly drunk since I have a mother like you."

Wow, she is all over Marshall. I'm hoping the royalty payment is in the form of sloppy seconds.

The Lifeguard is apparently into bestiality.

What? So the bark looks worse than the disease? What? Just fix the damn thing.

Also, the gardener is about to touched by a noodly appendage...

Monday, July 28, 2008

Veeblefester At a Dive

You never think that a website could get any better...
...until you add gas. I was also thinking of something else I could mention about this strip but couldn't until I realized these boys are talking about an old woman's digestive problems.

Obviously Marm has never heard of the movie "All Dogs Go to Heaven". Also, how come this strip is eerily similar to the Heathcliff from July 15th?
However, I think it's safe to say that neither Heathcliff or Marmaduke are going to Heaven. Heathcliff because his trash can tipping causes Indians to cry and God doesn't like that. Marmaduke because he's an asshole--and has already died and stole back his watch.

The Guard Duck's girlfriend must be all my previous girlfriends. Run Little Guard Duck. Run.

I guess that's Veeblefester sitting with Brutus. I really wouldn't make salary jokes in front of the person who controls my wages but we have to have a timely economic joke at some point.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

No, Wilberforce Doesn't Get to Eat

Before we get onto today's strip, I have some good news and bad news. The good news is I'm finally going to start posting on my other website I have several things planned for the site including comic strip reviews and mockery, news blurbs dotted with my own opinions, interesting facts and anything else I find scattered around the Internets.

The bad news is I'm ending this site but I am going to start posting The Born Loser on Tauy Creek on August 15th so now you'll have a one-stop shop for all my useless garbage.

But onto today's strip...

Is Gladys chewing or having an epileptic seizure in the first two panels? Either way, it's no excuse for the close-up of Gladys' face in the fourth panel. I'm just glad that the fat joke is on Brutus' end. Though Lord knows, there are plenty of jokes we could use on Gladys.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Yay, More Golf

Where've I been? It seems like a week since I posted on this thing. I've been trying to do things to help my other website and the more I figured out what I wanted to do with it, the more I thought I should've just converted this one into my main site. Oh, well. Live and learn. On to today's strip...

I think it should be a form of child abuse to take your kid to the golf course. Doing that is just more than cruel.

Also, those pants Gladys is wearing should be a form of indecent exposure meaning Chip should be arrested for putting that filth on the comics page where kids can see it.

Monday, July 14, 2008

I Don't Like Iced Coffee

I don't like iced coffee. Coffee should not be served cold, I'm sorry. And once again we see Veeblefester waiting at the bus stop. Veeblefester should technically be driving a massive Hummer and running over small animals and knocking over trees.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

No Matter How Much "Work" You Put Into It, Golf Is Still Boring

Now I don't blog everyday (except on this site but it's for a daily comic strip) but I get frustrated too when the Internet's not working right. But yes, somehow--I don't really know how--life does go on. You'll just have to post about it a little bit later.

Still working on this Mcguffin of a wedding huh? And sneaking in your Canadian spelling of words too? That will not stand Mrs Johnston. That will not stand.

I think the title of this entry says it all about today's strip.

Also, I'm tired of the yo-yo games Brutus and Veeblefester engage in in their friendship.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Aren't Soda Jerks Products of the Fifties?

The panels are already small enough and now we have to be confused by the use of parentheses? Am I the only one disturbed by the image of Luann in the tub?

Now I have a new comeback when I'm assaulted by missionaries.

Mother Gargle has Alzheimer's.

Friday, July 11, 2008

I think this wedding is a MacGuffin. We're only going through the motions of a wedding to distract us from the real storyline going on in the background. Now if only I could figure out what's going on in the background.

I don't like Jeremy's hair. I keep waiting for them to cut it. For some reason whenever I look at Jeremy now I picture a younger, blonder John Krasinski. Maybe I'm crazy.

How much do you think Pooh could get for his house tree with the original owners name printed above the door? I wouldn't pay much for Pooh's house since it is Tigger adjacent. I can't stand Tigger.

That is the scariest mosquito I have ever seen. In contrast, that's one of the nicest squirrels I've ever seen.

I'm tired of seeing Brutus at work. Can we please see what Wilberforce and Hattie are doing during summer vacation or what stupid things Gladys is mixing up? Maybe the Thornapples could go on vacation--although that would require actual work on Chip's part.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Brutus: Now With Windows 95

Are we ever going to get back to celebrating Oop's birthday? All we've been doing for the last month is flashing back. No wonder I hate serial comic strips.

I never quite know how to react to Sluggo's poverty. While I did laugh at Sluggo buying plywood as a surfboard, being poor is not funny.

Sluggo even had to pawn his nipples to pay for that plywood.

How can your mind be like a computer? A computer only knows as much as the user puts into it. And would computer be a good similie? Maybe BlackBerry or even a Sidekick.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Tuesday Blah

I am not in the mood to browse through all the comics today because I have a long day of work ahead of me. I think I looked at Andy Capp but that was it. So here's today's strip...
My-wife-is-a-horse jokes always make me want to curl up and die. The fact that Brutus says it so blatantly makes me want to stop reading Born Loser for another three months. Maybe instead of dangling a carrot, Brutus should dangle for his wife.

What'd you think I was gonna say?

Monday, July 07, 2008

But You Weren't There To Listen For the Last Three Days

Ha ha ha ha. Hind leg. Hee hee hee. Sorry, inside joke.

What saddens me is that National Strawberry Sundae Day really exists. And it's a homeless vagrant running around singing "Yankee Doodle" if this bum is anything like the bums I know, he's insane and constantly runs around singing various songs whether they fit or not.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

I Miss FoxTrot

When FoxTrot stopped doing dailies, I was sad but rejoiced when I learned that they would still have Sundays. Then my local paper dropped the Sundays and replaced them with Pearls Before Swine. I think it cancels it out so I'm not too upset.

Can someone really text faster than they can talk. Maybe with a Blackberry or something...

Poor Satchel. But you'd think by now he would learn to not listen to Bucky.

This reminds me of when my best friend went down to Mexico to spend a couple weeks. I'm shocked he came back alive and un-raped. Pig, however, I don't think will be as lucky.

Brutus is the only one who cares about Veeblefester's birthday. I've never cared about my bosses birthdays and sure as hell don't want to sing to them or give them a cake. But I'm glad Veeblefester's sacks of money are back.

When Pigs Fly

Is this a reference to drug testing as in "can of pee"? That's what I'm assuming but I could be wrong. Usually you only need a small cup though. What employer would require a can?!

Ha ha!! Marshall's a rapist.

That is Marshall right?

I wonder what Wilberforce wants. Considering Hurricane Hattie is part of the plot it's probably to borrow the video camera so they can make a porno. Hurricane Hattie is like that.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Happy 4th 2008!!

Marmaduke made the Featured Comic today. Apparently the webmasters were severely threatened by the Dane of Duke.I also took the time to peruse the majority of comics to see if any were talking about the Fourth of July. They weren't and that's really sad. The few I saw weren't all that good. I chose Luann because I love TJ's creepy pedaphilac face.
But damn, can that boy cook.

This was the only Fourth comic that made me laugh.

Although I am glad we got to see Kewpie finally. It's been awhile.

Michael Turner 1971-2008

Celebrated comic book artist, creator of "Witchblade" and all around cool guy Michael Turner has passed away. He was 37.

Michael Turner dies.

Thursday, July 03, 2008

E Is For Economy

Are there restaurants where you can order alphabet soup? That seems rather odd. Should've stuck with chicken and stars.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

You're Fired, Doctor

I'm kind of amazed that no one is suspecting arson. Marmaduke is an asshole and I'm sure there are many neighbors, dog catchers, policemen and garbagemen who would love to see this oafish Great Dane burn. They just made the fire look electrical.

I'm not a huge fan of people getting into relationships online because I think that diminishes the chance that the relationship will last (go ahead, prove me wrong) but at least Facebook is a bit more solid than MySpace so I'm not going to complain as much.

I get that the joke is linked to Brutus not being able to do anything right but this is one of those jokes you may have to read again to fully understand.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

I'd Replace the Tomato With Turkey

Man, there was nothing in the comics today. Only this For Better or For Worse from the '70s, reprinted in 21st Century.
I am counting the days until the Foobiverse comes to an end. I hate the old strips, I hate the new strips and it's just a waste of space. What's sad is that it's not ending, it's getting retooled. Does someone have a petition or something that we could send Lynn Johnston to beg her to put the strip to bed?

This comic is just a couple weeks too late. A lot of restaurants already have tomatoes back on the menu. Nice try Chip but too little, too late.