Sunday Quickies

Six Chix

Why does Eve look like a cardboard cutout?

Peanuts from 1953

This is one of my favorite early Peanuts strips. I used to play with trains and liked to pretend my cars were on actual roads. I also liked the railroad crossing sign Schroeder is holding.

The Big Pumpkin Sur-Prize

We'll continue with this story and find out who is behind the vandalized pumpkin in a moment but first this blast from the past. An Archie comic strip from 1947 and some rather...unusual language.

"It gets kind of butthole at times"? This is an unedited Archie comic strip from April 2, 1947. The odds of 'butthole' being slang is very slim so this may be the work of an artist or letterer trying to have a little fun or a draft no one was supposed to see that ended up in rotation. Either way, there is an Archie comic out there with Archie calling a job 'butthole'.

Ipomoea #2

“You were just going to let me eat the crew?” Rizzo shouted, keeping his tongue outside his mouth. Robot-2 handed him a packet of water.

“We didn’t know it was the crew,” Sabrina admitted.

“'Hey, Rizzo, how about you don’t eat the piles of ash that are strewn about the ship.’ That was too hard to say?”

“I don’t think we should have to tell a guy in his late 20s to not eat stuff off the floor,” Cardy said.

“This isn’t important right now,” Sabrina spoke up. “We need to figure out what to do.”

“What do you mean?” Rizzo asked.

“Well, we’re out here on a mission. Do we complete the mission or go back to Earth? Do we go back into stasis or take turns so someone is keeping watch?”

“We don’t need to take turns. Robot can keep watch while we head back to Earth,” Rizzo said.

“So we want to head back to Earth?” Sabrina made sure.

“I think that is a logical decision,” Cardy said. “Can we radio ahead and let someone know what happened?”

“I have been trying to radio Earth since we came out of the wormhole. I’m getting no response,” Robot-2 said.

“That’s the first thing we need to do then,” Rizzo said. “We need to figure out some way to communicate back to Earth to let them know 1,300 people just died. Come on, let’s go to the communications deck.”

“I say we go to the Captain’s deck,” Sabrina said. “His comm signals are on a private feed and he has his own line. We’ll be able to quickly get ahold of someone without having to wait to be answered.”

“Who died and made you captain?” Rizzo snidely replied.

Sabrina looked around them at the piles of dust. “Everyone.”




For nearly two hours they attempted to get ahold of somebody but all they got was static. Robot had made the remaining crew something to eat while they sat despondently in the captain’s quarters in silence.

“You know,” Robot said. “It’s just a thought. Everything on the ship was in the wormhole so everything technically aged millions of years. Maybe the wires to the comm link have degraded.”

“That may be what the problem is,” Cardy said. “Who knows how many other things are falling apart because this ship is now millions of years old.”

“The vending machine on Deck 9 is broken,” Robot said.

“I guess we’ll have to go to one of the other 100 or so vending machines on this ship,” Rizzo said. “We can’t contact anybody so what are we going to do?”

“We got our first mission done,” Sabrina began “so instead of going to our second and third mission which would take five years, I say we turn this thing around, place ourselves back in stasis, and head back to Earth.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Cardy said. “It’s weird being out here all by ourselves.”

“I don’t want to,” Rizzo said.

“What?”

“We’re light years away from Earth. Why don’t we do our next missions and then go back like we planned. Or, we take this ship and see what’s out there.”

“First of all, that’s illegal. Second of all, we don’t really know the first thing about the Ipomoea,” Sabrina said.

“You know enough. Cardy and I can start repairing some of the malfunctions it got while lost in the wormhole for a million years. Most of the ship runs on autopilot anyway. Robot can do all the other stuff.”

“No, we’re not doing that. We can’t do that,” Sabrina shook her head. “We’ll all be sent to federal prison. I’d probably be court-martialed.”

“Fine,” Rizzo said. “It’ll just be Cardy and me. You can go into stasis while we finish up the mission and do some exploring then we’ll chart a course for Earth. If we get caught, you can disavow any knowledge of what happened and you won’t get in trouble.”

“Why do you want to do this?” Sabrina asked.

“I don’t like stasis,” Rizzo said. “I want to be awake when we go through space. I’m tired of having my life put on hold while everyone else’s goes on like normal.”

“We have to have stasis or no one would survive these trips,” Sabrina said. “We’re turning the Ipomoea around and heading back to Earth and we’re going into stasis.”

“I’m not going either,” Cardy said.

“What?” both Sabrina and Rizzo said at the same time.

“What do I have? I don’t have a family, my best friend is right here, and I don’t think my girlfriend is going to want to date me when I get back.”

“No, probably not. Her husband probably won’t like it if you start dating her,” Rizzo said. “So it’s Rizzo and Cardy: Space Cowboys. Unless you want to stick around, sis.”

“I’m going into stasis,” she sighed. “I hope you’ll join me soon.”

“We’ll see you again in fifteen years,” Rizzo said and hugged Sabrina.

Sabrina left the captain’s deck and walked down the spacious corridor to the stasis chambers. She went to her chamber and opened the door, setting the timer for fifteen years. She stared at the chamber and prepared to go inside.

“I’m going to miss her,” Cardy said.

“I will too but it’s her choice. Now, should we complete our mission and maybe see what else is out there?”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Cardy growled.

“Now, what is our next mission?” Rizzo asked himself as he began searching through Capt. Bonaparte’s things for the itinerary.

“It’s a planet called Scotia-799. It’s about the size of Jupiter. It’s about two years that way,” Sabrina pointed as she came back into the captain’s deck.

“You changed your mind?”

“Yes, I changed my mind.”

“All right. Robot, set a path for Scotia-799, two years that-a-way,” Rizzo pointed as he shoulder hugged Sabrina. “Let’s go exploring.”

GAAH! She Was JUST Outside!!

Marmaduke

Penis.

"Marmaduke's home is where his penis is."

Hi and Lois

Technically, it would be World Series Week because the World Series lasts for 3-7 games. Either one is a stupid idea though.

You'll sit down and write a letter about getting the day off for a baseball game but when it comes to doing any effort in getting Election Day off you're all "Why do we need another holiday?"

Crankshaft

BONUS SUNDAY LEAF INSTALLMENT!!

*kills self*

Tauy Creek Digest #27: The Deer Creek Devil

Dustin parked the car on a small access road to a farm field about a quarter mile away from where they were going to be walking. Dustin, along with Aaron and Nathan, got out of the car, Nathan had a backpack slung on his shoulder, and they all stood in the middle of the country road.

"Ready?" Dustin asked. Aaron and Nathan nodded and they began walking. "The bridge up ahead is Deer Creek," Dustin said, in a quiet voice but not quite a whisper.

"So what are we looking for?" Nathan asked.

"And why?" Aaron joked.

"The Deer Creek Devil," Dustin said as if everyone should know what he was talking about. "There's rumors of an odd creature roaming the woods of Deer Creek Park in Osage Lake. It has pale skin that glows in the moonlight, sharp teeth, and can run really fast."

"And we want to find this creature because...?" Aaron asked.

"It more than likely doesn't exist. We're just doing this because it would be cool to say we did it," Dustin said.

They continued walking until they got to the intersection. Off to their left, almost behind them, was a densely wooded area that followed the creek. The three of them walked slowly toward the woods and found a small trail and began following that. As they walked, the trail tapered off and soon became non-existent.

"So where do we go?" Aaron asked.

"I don't know. I figured the trail would just keep going," Dustin said. The sound of wood hitting echoed around them from above. "What is that?"

"Tree branches hitting together," Nathan said and pointed up. "It's a little windy tonight and even windier up there."

"I see something up ahead," Aaron said.

"Let's split up," Dustin said. "We'll each go a different way."

Aaron and Nathan reluctantly did that and separated into the woods. Nathan walked for several minutes but saw and heard nothing until he came to the edge of Deer Creek, the soft sound of water trickling between the banks. Nathan walked up to the banks and looked over the edge, holding onto a tree. Reflecting in the water, he could see the moon. He then heard a breathing sound from somewhere around him. At first, he thought it was his until the sound didn't match the rate of his breaths. He looked back into the water and saw that the pale reflection had moved. He turned around quickly and saw nothing. He began running back where he came from.

Dustin walked for awhile until he came to a clearing. He was now in a farm field with the moon shining down on him. He could still hear the branches clapping together from the woods but also the wind rustling the tall grass that he was standing in. Somehow, the knocking became louder and quicker. Dustin felt a tap on his shoulder and neck and quickly turned around to see no one standing near him. He began running back where he came from.

Dustin and Nathan ran into each other, adrenaline pumping. "What happened?" Dustin exclaimed.

"I don't know. What happened to you?"

"I don't know. We need to find Aaron," Dustin looked to where Aaron had walked off. The two of them quickly walked, following Aaron's path as best they could. They reached a clearing where a large stone house stood. The house was three stories, had no windows, and looked to have been abandoned for decades. "That must be what he saw."

"Is he in there?" Nathan wondered.

They heard a faint shout come from the house. "Sounds like it."

The two of them cautiously approached the house and went inside through the smashed front door. "Aaron," Nathan shouted.

They kept hearing the faint shouts of Aaron coming from somewhere in the house but it seemed to move every time they got near it. Finally, Dustin thought he trapped the noise in the basement. "Aaron! Nathan, he's down here!" he shouted and went down the stairs to the basement.

The shouts were louder down there but there was also something else that Dustin heard but didn't see and it knocked him down onto the dirt floor.

"Dustin," Nathan shouted. "Where are you?" Nathan slowly walked around the house and came to the basement door. He slowly crept down the fragile wooden stairs and onto the dirt floor. The shouts were quiet now and Nathan couldn't see anything in the basement. He shined his flashlight all around but saw and heard nothing. Then, only blackness.

Two-Fer Saturday

Crankshaft

HOORAY! AN ENTIRE WEEK OF STARING AT A LEAF!! THERE IS FINALLY PROOF THAT THERE IS NO GOD!!!

Family Circus

"I didn't jump over that ravine. I didn't take the car for a joyride. I didn't rape. I didn't murder. I barely tortured Barfy and Kittycat. I guess I did set the neighbor's house on fire but they weren't home so..."

Friday Quickie

Hi and Lois

"You're just here to chaperone us, Barb from Stranger Things, not talk."

Captain Marvel Visits Kansas City, Missouri

Last month, I did some panel-by-panel snarking on the comic book story "The Vampire Fog" to overwhelming applause. I don't know what happened but over the first couple of days of posting, it acquired hundreds of views. I don't know why but I'm just going to assume that people liked it and shared the link. So I decided to do another one this month.

This month will be "Captain Marvel Visits Kansas City, Missouri" from Captain Marvel Adventures #54 from 1946. If you've never visited Kansas City, now you don't have to thanks to Captain Marvel and Fawcett Comics.

I'm glad that they specified that we are in Kansas City, Missouri and not Kansas City, Kansas. Because that'd be gross.

Sam Molen, a legit real person, was the sports director for KMBC for many years. He passed away in 2009.

So Kansas City is having a forum on juvenile delinquency by having Billy Batson--an orphan who works in a radio station and is the most popular superhero in the country. Yeah, I'm sure other juveniles will see themselves in Billy.

I bet Kansas City wishes it just has a juvenile delinquency problem these days.

He threw a brick at a policeman. That's, like, borderline police assault.

The Jackson County Courthouse shown here, only serves the western portion of the county. The eastern side is served by the courthouse in Independence which is the actual county seat of Jackson County, Missouri. This courthouse was built in an Art Deco style in 1934. Future President Harry Truman worked in both courthouses and actually chose the design for the Kansas City courthouse.

The Kansas City City Hall was built in 1937 and, like the courthouse, built by someone who owned a concrete business. That doesn't seem shady at all, does it? It has an observation deck on the top floor and is the fourth tallest city hall in the country.

Municipal Auditorium was built in 1936 by...well, well, city manager and concrete magnate Tom Pendergast. What a surprise. Maybe Billy/Captain Marvel should look into the obvious political corruption going on in the city at this time.

Heh, Biff and Chuck.

Does Billy always Shazam! in front of other people? Seems kind of dangerous since he's, you know, is a little boy.

A good talking to. I'm sure the kids will listen to a superhero known as the Big Red Cheese.

Playground? Those boys don't want to go to a park. They want some excitement, like stealing pop off the back of a truck and riding the rails. Next stop, Grand Rapids!!

Swope Park? Doctor Sivana can't stop Captain Marvel but Swope Park probably can. FYI, the swimming pool is still open if you wish to swim while visiting KC.

H. Roe Bartle was a Boy Scout executive and was very prominent in building up youth programs. Later in his career, Bartle would serve as mayor of Kansas City from 1956 until 1963. His biggest claim during his term was luring a Texas professional football team to KC. The team was renamed in his honor which is why they are called the Kansas City Chiefs.

"I'll give whoever throws a brick the furthest ten dollars."

"Oboy! We're in!"

"Bet you can't hit those windows."

"We'll show you!"

This is why Biff and Chuck, who look like miniature adults, are still kids. Because they're stupid.

There he goes again. Changing into Captain Marvel right in front of everybody.

Wait. Why are they telling Sam Molen about kids smashing store windows? Molen is a sports director, you should probably tell a news director.

"Gee, thanks Mister, that was fun, an' we get paid for it! Thanks Truman!!"

A gold cuff-link!?! I wonder who's behind this?

How did that ad get in the paper so fast? I don't care if it is the 1940s.

GR-5100 is the telephone exchange name for GRand 5100 which was a real exchange in KC. Currently, it looks like the phone number to Beverly Hills Wellness at 11th & McGee. (816)471-5100.

The "famous" Pickwick Hotel was built in 1930 by the same architects that did the courthouse and city hall and was probably okayed by that Pendergast guy. Currently, it still stands at 9th & McGee and is being renovated into low-income apartments.

There's somebody at the door.

There's somebody at the door.

There's somebody at the door.

"It's a kid! Named Herman Shmutz. That doesn't sound right..."

And nobody heard that thunderclap coming from the hallway? Nobody?

Can fingerprints be left on a collar? The collar has fabric on it, right? I don't understand how this works and I'm guessing it's some sort of thing that could only happen in comic books...or the '40s.

The General Post Office is still there on West Pershing Road across from Union Station and next to the Liberty Memorial.

"Slow down, Captain Marvel, everything that you do is inadmissible in court!"

*breaks down door*

"Well, this case is getting thrown out of court."

"What th...! It's Capt. Marvel! What's he doing in Kansas City? We're barely a major metropolis!"

It took one panel to wrap up this story. One. Panel.

Well, I'm glad the poor man's Archie and Jughead have changed their ways. Too bad it took the threat of jail to make them see the light of day. I would hope that your average juvenile would think twice before just throwing a brick at a window just because some guy asked you to.

Let's just all take a second to look at that pun in panel 4 and consider the mistakes we've made in life.

"They would have time for real criminals!" These two boys get into trouble and Captain Marvel is worried about the taxpayer?

Why are they called "playgrounds"? Was that what they were called back then because I just consider them "community centers". I wonder if any of them are open anymore or if they were all consolidated because they were expensive to maintain.

I also wonder if Judge Cowan was supposed to be Judge Ray Cowan, a real Kansas City judge back in the day. I would assume so but I can't find any proof.

Based on this comic story, the juvenile delinquency problem in Kansas City has been solved. It was just those two kids.