Monday, March 30, 2015

Beta-Readers Wanted

I have a couple of short stories that I need a few beta readers for. All you would need to do is read the story(ies) and answer a short questionnaire. You can read the short one (700 words) or the long one (2700 words) or both of them.

If interested, let me know through the contact form or direct message me on Twitter (@tauycreek).

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

1153: Gladys Is Stupid...

And there are ten teams in the Big 12, none of it makes sense!!

How is it stupid? I'm generally opposed to just about any and all sports endeavors but college basketball is fun. Teams competing, the best one left standing while their opposition lay broken and bloody at their feet. Suddenly, Dick Vitale stands, extends his arm and signals either a thumbs up or thumbs down...

Monday, March 16, 2015

1152: Real Drunks Don't Need an Excuse To Drink

Earlier this week, I mentioned that Irwin Hasen passed away. Aside from drawing the comic strip Dondi, Hasen also did comic books. He was mainly a fill-in for the regular artists but one of his major contributions was the co-creation of Wildcat with Bill Finger for DC Comics. Wildcat would become a member of the Justice Society of America in all of its incarnations.











Haha! Random Nameless Employee is a drunk who is seconds from losing his job and also hits his wife and kids because he'd rather be drunk than anywhere near them.

It's nice that Random Nameless Employee is inviting Brutus out. Brutus needs more work friends than Arnie, Watercooler Guy and Veeblefester.

Diversity of Riffle Community Fishes in Pottawatomie Creek, Kansas

Note: The following was written by James Hartman in 1995-96 as his Masters in Biology thesis at Emporia State University. Used with permission.

Pottawatomie Creek is a tributary of the Marais des Cygnes River. [It flows from about ten miles east of the Wolf Creek Nuclear Plant to the Marais des Cygnes just east of Osawatomie.] The study sites include eight riffle sites located on three tributaries and in the main channel. [The] Pottawatomie Creek watershed drains approximately 142, 074 ha (Pottawatomie Creek Watershed Joint District Number 90, 1972, General Plan, Anderson Co., Kansas, 38pp., unpublished) in Coffey, Anderson, Linn, Franklin, and Miami counties, Kansas. The area in which this study was conducted makes up more than half of the drainage of this watershed and was restricted to only Franklin and Anderson counties.
Map of study areas. Locations are approximate. For bigger image, click here.
The eight sampling sites were located in three topographically distinct regions of the Pottawatomie Creek watershed. Two sampling sites (SF1 and SF2) were located on South Fork Pottawatomie Creek (SF). The SF sub-watershed is characterized as predominantly hilly terrain draining woodland, pastureland, and some cropland. [The SF creek flows from about a mile and a half west of Selma to the main branch of Pottawatomie Creek just west of Greeley.] The Cedar Creek (CC) sub-watershed, also had two sampling sites (CC3 and CC4), was represented as somewhat hilly with relatively intermediate topographic relief in comparison with the SF sub-watershed, and drained woodland, pastureland, and a relatively substantial amount of cropland. [Cedar Creek flows from about a mile and a half southeast of Westphalia to the main branch of Pottawatomie Creek three miles north of Garnett. The Cedar Valley Reservoir was built in 1983 just south of Kansas Highway 31.]

Two additional sampling sites (NF5 and NF6) were located on the North Fork Pottawatomie Creek (NF), above the confluences of SF and CC. The NF sub-watershed is characterized as mostly flatland terrain, draining cropland and pastureland. [The North Fork Pottawatomie Creek flows from Osage County until joining with the main branch near the confluence with Cedar Creek.] The last two sampling sites (PC7 and PC8) were located downstream on Pottawatomie Creek (PC) before its confluence with the Marais des Cygne River. The PC sub-watershed is characterized as a broad floodplain containing predominantly cropland, with adjacent hills draining woodland and pastureland. Site PC7 is located between the confluences of CC and SF on the main channel of Pottawatomie Creek, and PC8 is located below the confluence of SF.

[The PC8 sample is located near Lane and is at the site of Dutch Henry's Crossing. In 1856, after hearing about the sack of Lawrence, John Brown selected a party to go on a private expedition. Late in the evening of May 24th, the party--consisting of Brown's sons Frederick, Owen, Salmon and Oliver, Thomas Weiner and James Townsley--called at the house of James P. Doyle and ordered him and his two adult sons, William and Drury to go with them as prisoners. Doyle's 16-year-old son, John, was spared after his mother, Mahalia pleaded for his life. The three men were escorted by their captors out into the darkness, where Owen Brown and one of his brothers killed them with broadswords. John Brown did not participate in the stabbing but fired a shot into the head of the fallen James Doyle to ensure he was dead.

Brown and his band then went to the house of Allen Wilkinson and ordered him out. He was killed by Henry Thompson and Theodore Winer. They then crossed the Pottawatomie and forced their way into the cabin of James Harris. Harris had John S. Wightman, Jerome Glanville, and William Sherman, the brother of Henry "Dutch Henry" Sherman, a militant pro-slavery activist. Glanville and Harris were taken outside and interrogated. Satisfied with their answers, Glanville and Harris were released while Sherman was taken to the creek and hacked to death. It was learned that "Dutch Henry" was the main target during this expedition but he was away. Brown and his party ended the expedition and returned to Osawatomie.]
Dutch Henry's Crossing along Pottawatomie Creek near Lane.

1151: The Look on Wilberforce's Face Leads Me To Believe This Happens All the Time

Do it, Brutus. Do it. Cleanse the Earth of your family and their abomination of roast beef.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

1150: Eh, He Was Going To Do That Anyway

Caffeine doesn't affect me as much as it used to. I have to drink a lot of it in order for it to affect my sleep. About nine years ago, I gave up caffeine and I have to admit that I slept better, was more athletic, lost weight, was generally in a better mood and think my penis gained an inch or two. Now, however, I have more caffeine which has left my genitals withered and useless.

Saturday, March 14, 2015

1149: "What Was That Comic About the Boy?" "Thanks, Mom, That Really Narrows It Down."

When I first got my giant encyclopedia on comic strips, my mom asked me about "this comic strip about a boy." Well, that narrowed it down a lot but she was able to say that the boy had dark hair, and talked to animals. The only comics I could think of that even remotely matched her description were Wee Pals:
Will-Yum:
freaking Mark Trail:
and Dondi:

None of these strips were what my mom was talking about. One, being about a "dark-haired boy" is stretching it and, two, none of them talk to animals. I still think that my mom either made it up or she was talking about Dondi, a strip that ran from 1955 to 1986 so it's possible she may have seen it. I think she mixed it up with Mark Trail or something. Let's all remember that this is the same woman who asked me a couple days ago "who was that cartoon character on the glass who would help people?"*

Dondi was a World War II orphan created by Gus Edson and Irwin Hasen. Edson died in 1966 and Bob Oksner took over his duties with Hasen until the strip ended in 1986. Oksner passed away in 2007 and Hasen passed away yesterday, March 13, 2015, at the age of 96.

So I guess we are using the words 'quality' and 'food' loosely here.

Wait a minute, four days ago, Wilberforce was complaining about having to walk to school in the rain but now he wants to go play in it? I'd let him go then the next time he complains about walking to school in the rain, show him this strip then through him out the door.




*It was this guy:

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

1148: Confused About Bed Rest, Walking to School and Marital Spats

We have a teacher at our school who is in her late-thirties, early-forties and she's pregnant. She's due any day now and she's still teaching and going up and down the stairs, etc. and it got me wondering about 'bed rest.' I know that every pregnancy is different and every woman and doctor is different but it's because I'm an ignorant man is the reason I'm asking. Getting pregnant over the age of 35 automatically puts the pregnancy at high risk so bed rest should be expected. If she was told to go on bed rest she is not following doctor's orders or she's trying to hold on until spring break which starts next week. Meanwhile, I've known women younger and healthier get put on bed rest for the entire last trimester and all their job did was require them to sit down and take phone calls. I've already read several websites explaining bed rest, when it is prescribed, how to get through it, blah blah blah so I guess I've already answered my question by reading those sites and through the third sentence. Or the teacher at school is some sort of Amazonian goddess which I would actually believe.

When I was in elementary school, the school I went to from Kindergarten to fourth grade was two and a half miles away. They then built a new school closer to me that I went to for fifth grade--it was within walking distance but I still rode the bus most of the time. Couldn't do that now since you now have to live more than two and a half miles from your school in order to receive transportation which limits greatly who gets to ride a bus especially when you redraw boundaries so that most every kid lives within those two and a half miles.

How long does a typical Brutus-Gladys fight last? I'm guessing about three days which seems like a long time for a couple married as long as Brutus and Gladys. Maybe they're doing marriage wrong.

Saturday, March 7, 2015

1147: That's a Weird TV Setup

Gladys would probably be even angrier by Brutus' mental response of "Well, as a born loser, you were the best I thought I could do."

Did you guys hear that Kentucky is going to go undefeated this season?! I, frankly, don't care. I'm not a Kentucky fan and believe they are not a college basketball team but a pre-NBA team. I think what makes me even madder about Coach Calipari's statement that Kentucky will go undefeated is that everyone then jumped on the Kentucky bandwagon whereas if any other major team (Duke, Kansas, North Carolina) said that, everyone would say "What a bunch of arrogant S.O.B.s" and actively root against them and I'm living proof because I am actively rooting against Kentucky.

Thursday, March 5, 2015

1146: Mother Gargle Is Beyond Caring About You

Maybe the doctor can help Brutus figure out why he just goes up to people and says "I have an appointment with my doctor" like they are supposed to care. Sure, here it's your mother-in-law but when has she ever shown even the slightest interest in your life?

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

1145: Maybe If You Change Your Sweater

It took me a while to get this. I guess Gladys would rather he had said "I want a large pizza with everything but anchovies." I say Gladys no longer gets any pizza.

Why is Brutus sitting there wallowing in self-pity when he clearly has work to do? It's like at work when students complain or try to get out of doing an assignment. In the time it's taking you to complain or figure out a way to avoid doing it, you probably could've gotten the work done.

Monday, March 2, 2015

1144: Enjoy the Winter Because 100 Degree Weather Is Right Around the Corner

The Ohio part of the country which encompasses everything from Indiana to the Atlantic Ocean has seen more than its share of winter. Meanwhile, here in Kansas, we've had pretty decent cold weather but barely any snow. Not that I want 30 feet of snow but give me at least a couple of snow days from school.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

1143: Gladys--In Like a Lion

What happened to Gladys' toothbrush? Eh, maybe we don't want to know.

I have to admit that it has been a long time since I've seen the word 'cad' or the onomatopoeia 'humph.'