Thursday, March 31, 2022

Brutus Has Enough People Disagreeing With Him. He Doesn't Need You.

In my years of reading this comic strip, it's become clear that Brutus is the victim in this little stereotypical squabble. Brutus attempts to meet Mother Gargle in the middle but she just keeps backing up. Frankly, I'm disappointed that Brutus hasn't hit up some subreddit to get some advice. They'd hate Mother Gargle.

Oh, and Mother Gargle? Schroeder wore it better.

Wednesday, March 30, 2022

People Say That? Who Says That?

In my head, Brutus has typed something up--a report, a proposal, I don't really care--and noticed that there was a mistake--a typo, incorrect number, didn't replace the company's name in the contract, I don't really care--but still turned it in to Veeblefester instead of fixing the mistake.

"I'm sorry about that mistake, Chief..."

"I don't know why you're apologizing for your parent's shortcomings."

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

Swiss Army Brutus

Where does Brutus get his inflated sense of worth from? Not from Gladys or Wilberforce. Definitely not from Mother Gargle. Veeblefester beats him down every chance he gets. And he constantly calls himself a born loser. None of that should equal "Yeah, in this toolbox, I am the Swiss Army Knife."

Monday, March 28, 2022

Why Do All the Kids Keep Saying Hick-A-Doo-La?

There is. It's called spring break.

What is Brutus watching? Spring breakers aren't really newsworthy anymore so news channels shouldn't be devoting time to them. Wait. He's clearly watching some beach-a-go-go movie from the 1950s or 1960s and Wilberforce is to stupid to see that.

And Brutus isn't going to educate him. That's not his job.

Sunday, March 27, 2022

The Great Ketchup-Mustard Wars of 2022

Why can't both be an acceptable answer? It's one thing if you just don't like ketchup or mustard but that's not what the argument is. I mean, I like ketchup more but mustard is more flavorful. Just cook the damn hot dogs and let's eat.

And I've think we've established that Wilberforce isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer so I'd be weary asking him his opinion.

Sunday, March 20, 2022

It's Something But At Most You're Saving $6

According to Google, gas in Cleveland is currently hovering around $4.05, a month ago when this comic was made, it was about $3.30. It's funny because even with the 50 cent discount, you still don't get down to the price when this comic was made.

Saturday, March 19, 2022

You Can Never Have Too Much Basketball...I Guess

This isn't something that sneaks up on you. It happens every year so I don't know why Gladys and Mother Gargle always seem surprised that March Madness exists. I'm also confused as to why Mother Gargle has an issue with what Brutus watches on his TV.

Friday, March 18, 2022

10 to 7? That's a Low Scoring Game

Brutus looks terrible. He looks like everyone's bracket after yesterday. ZOO-OOM!!

Is this the last March Madness joke? It better be.

Thursday, March 17, 2022

Let the Madness Begin

Not all months bring something, Wilberforce.

Brutus, all day: "Sweet Jesus, I wish someone would ask me something about March. I can't take the silence anymore. I have to turn on my basketball!!"

Wilberforce: "Hey, Pop! I have a question about March..."

Brutus: "Finally!!"

Wednesday, March 16, 2022

You Should Be Glad Veeblefester Doesn't Make You Pay for Parking

And Arnie can't park in the space right next to Veeblefester's reserved spot because why? And getting there first sounds more like an Arnie problem. An Arnie problem like why Arnie finds walking an additional seven feet because the closest parking spot is reserved a huge inconvenience.

Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Always the Ides of March, Never the Ides of May, July, or October


Does Brutus do this every year? Does he just run around Veeblefester Tea Cozies, Incorporated every March 15th screaming about the Ides of March? Maybe it's time someone stab him.

Monday, March 14, 2022

Wilberforce Said the Same Thing As He Left for School

Gladys must have a different definition of pep talk. No amount of pep in the world could make working at Veeblefester Tea Cozies, Incorporated a good thing.

It's interesting that reading a comic strip where a character is leaving for work at 1:45 PM feels completely different than if you were reading this before 9 AM. I feel the same about strips that are about dinner but this one just hits entirely different.

Sunday, March 13, 2022

They're Seeing "The Last Duel" at the $5 Theater

Front row, center. At a movie? I don't care how bad your eyesight is, you still won't be able to see anything and your neck is going to hurt.

I do like having the theater to myself though. You can berate the characters as loud as you want and no one will shush you or complain that you're no Crow T. Robot.

Saturday, March 12, 2022

You Don't Want To Go Florida Anyway

Why did Veeblefester nix the vacation? I don't honestly think that's something your boss can do. "Hey, boss, I'm going to take a vacation next week." "Nope, you can't." "I have time to use, have things in order so someone else can do my job while I'm away, and have filed the paperwork." "Nope, you can't." "I'll see you in a week."

Besides, it's not like Brutus is an indispensable employee. Veeblefester could definitely not have Brutus around for a week and everything would be just fine.

Friday, March 11, 2022

Is Her Ear On Her Nose?

Why are you telling Gladys about your dishwasher, Mary? First of all, if you are really her friend then you should know that she doesn't have one. Second, what's Gladys going to do about your dishwasher? Call a professional, Mary!

I guess Brutus doesn't always get paper plates and plastic cutlery.

Thursday, March 10, 2022

Mirror, Mirror On the...Swivel...?

I refuse to comment on any diet or weight-related comic strips anymore. Fat people aren't here for your entertainment.

Let's talk about this mirror. Is it an antique? Did it belong to Brutus' mother? I'm trying to remember the last time I saw a mirror like that. It's been years...maybe decades. It looks like it's just set in the middle of a room or hallway which seems dangerous. You should move it closer to a wall.

Wednesday, March 09, 2022

Are They Eating Off of Paper Plates Tonight?

It looks like the same gray gelatinous sludge that's usually on the plates.

I have to admit that I am pretty impressed that Gladys bought a new cookbook and just happened to have all the ingredients for whatever this is. Unless, she didn't and just substituted what she needed with what she had. That would explain why dinner is terrible.

Tuesday, March 08, 2022


I hate doing dishes. But if I don't do it, it won't get done. I am a bit confused why Wilberforce has to announce that Gladys told him to set the table.

"Mom told me to set the table for dinner."

UPS man knocks on the door to leave a package. "Mom told me to set the table for dinner."

Calls Mother Gargle. "Mom told me to set the table for dinner."

Walks down the street to Hurricane Hattie's house. "Mom told me to set the table for dinner."

Monday, March 07, 2022

Mother Gargle Is None of Those Things

That story didn't say to spend time with elderly relatives who upset you and cause you stress and trauma. You don't have to go out of your way to spend time with your older uncle or cousin who keeps screaming "Not my president" whenever someone has a mild grievance with a general part of life.

In Brutus' defense, Mother Gargle spends absolutely way too much time at the Thornapples'. She has been in seven (7) strips out of 66. That's 10% and that's entirely too many times.

Sunday, March 06, 2022

Eyes Don't Snore 😒

"The 'Are you still watching?' screen has been on for at least ten minutes, as well."

Leave Wilberforce alone, Gladys. He's trying to get caught up so he can remember what all happened before watching the first episode of the new season of Outlander tonight. It's been two years since the last season ended and you forget what happened.

Saturday, March 05, 2022

I Guess Brutus Won't Be At Work On Monday


Did they not even tell you what the special is? Why does Brutus continue to punish himself by eating here? Are there no other diners he can go to? I appreciate Brutus "eating local" and all but there has to be a limit.

Friday, March 04, 2022

At Least It's Friday

I thought this was going to be a better joke. Like, "I had a rough time waking up this morning." "How rough was it?" "It was so rough, I tripped over my wife's bra. It was a booby trap."

"It was so rough, Gladys called the coroner."

"It was so rough, I took my morning dump at 7 A.M. Unfortunately, I didn't wake up until 8."

Thursday, March 03, 2022

He's Still a Person

What does Chip have against bald people?

It's interesting as we've gotten more...empathetic(?) to other cultures, races, ethnicities, genders, and everything else out there, there are still things out there that we can still make fun of even though we shouldn't. One is fat people--for some reason we can still throw a fat suit on a skinny actor or have an actor gain tons of weight for a role and it's perfectly acceptable. The other are bald people. This one doesn't come up as much but how many TV episodes revolve around some guy worried that he's going bald?

Anyway, stop it. People's bodies aren't your joke or entertainment.

Wednesday, March 02, 2022

Maybe It's a Bit and Brutus Is Recording Him and Will Post It Online

No matter how much you tickle his balls, Veeblefester isn't going to give you a sack of money, Brutus.

Veeblefester has repeatedly said that he is perfect in every way so I don't know why Brutus has to hear this all the time. Again, he's not going to be given a sack of money.

Tuesday, March 01, 2022

It's March 1st

Did Brutus really need that sip of coffee in order to crack this joke?

I don't know why Gladys is yammering about Mardi Gras. The Thornapples are neither Catholic--thus do not participate in Lent--nor do they go out and party so Mardi Gras is a completely pointless time for them.