Vacation Had to Get Away

September 29, 1966

I want to know how you didn't know someone was in the bathroom. And why are you using such shiny paint? Maybe it's varnish or something for a hardwood floor.

So Brutus, and I'm assuming the rest of the family, went on vacation and we didn't get to see it. Sure, we get a repeat of the damn Keane family and their idiotic vacation to New York City every ten years or so, but God forbid we see the Thornapples taking in the sights of beautiful Muncie, Indiana.

Is That a New Phrase In These Cooking Shows That Are All the Rage?

April 12, 1987

Is it this test pattern? Because I could watch it all day.

This one, not so much...

God, remember when TV networks would end at a certain time because who would be up at two ayem(?!) watching TV? Such a simpler time. I'd ask why Brutus isn't watching Nick at Nite, but Fernwood 2 Night is probably on.

Why is cooking so hard for Gladys? You just follow the instructions. I'm a complete moron and I cook things perfectly fine. That's also such a weird trope--a housewife that can't cook. "This character is so dumb, they can't follow a simple recipe, hyuck, hyuck!"

Culinary arsonists seems like a cool descriptor, but I feel it cheapens all the real arsonists out there burning down warehouses, businesses late on protection payments, and fathers who are wanting to start a new life without their family.

Check out the long-winded origin of Firehair! from yesterday. Go see the new Superman movie (I'm seeing it Tuesday). And don't forget to click Support at the top of the page.

You Know You Can Buy Sandwich-Making Stuff That Isn't Peanut Butter and Jelly, Right?

August 22, 1966

Oh, but daddy!! I love him!! At least he's dressed normal and his pants don't seem as high-waisted as father's trousers seem.

Does Brutus not have any other things to make a sandwich with? Are there never any leftovers--which I guess wouldn't matter if Gladys has been gone all week. How come he isn't going to the diner? Is it closed again after yet another failure of health codes?

Gladys can just visit Mother Gargle? Then why does Mother Gargle visit here so often?

You Could Also Just Stop Playing

July 8, 1966

I am constantly carrying trays of food and dishes and I've never dropped them--no matter how impressively loud my kid was coming home from school.

What were you even doing? Cleaning up your social club's tea party you had earlier?

Stop hitting the ball twice as much as you have to? I don't have any good golf advice, a lot of what I see about golf is just hit the ball hard toward where the hole is. I don't know. Have you tried doing that, Brutus?

The Watercooler Revolution

May 13, 1966

The doctor looks...almost glad it's Friday the 13th and he might kill this man. Does this doctor use Friday the 13th as an excuse to murder patients 1-3 times a year? Can we get the medical board to look at this and then make a bio-series about it starring Joshua Jackson?

Nothing like crushing the happiness of your employees. It's kind of cool that Veeblefester can quell an uprising with just one 'no'. I at least am assuming Brutus, Arnie, and blonde woman are planning an uprising.

Get back to work!

Monday Quickies

May 2, 1966

Oh, and Thornapple looks so confident and ready to prove himself in that third panel. His rumpled suit looks how I feel.

March has sucked. February sucked. 2025 has sucked. I can't wait until this suck year is over. That is, if we don't die.

Late Night Car Wash

April 21, 1966

Oliver?!

What kind of meeting is this? Some sort of Darwin Society? Are those even a thing? I thought they were, but according to search results they are just something I made up.

Anyway, thanks Bill Copeland of Sarasota, Florida.

I washed the car a couple weeks ago and it rained, which whatever. I don't care. But then, like, two days later it rained again. It rained mud because of all the ash from wildfires. So, now my car needs to get washed again.

Thursday Quickies

April 1, 1966

"Born Loser"? You created this yourself.

At least he's not a muscular beach man, but he's tall and stringy and probably pretty fast.

Come ask me about how my life is going, Arnie.

Using "January First" Instead of "January 1st" Almost Broke Me

September 21, 1986

Well, to be fair, it's 1986 and smut and drivel are the only things on TV. I don't have the heart to tell Mother Gargle what's going to be premiering in 6 months, but the Thornapples probably don't get FOX yet anyway.

If you just casually glance at today's comic, it kind of looks like Brutus and Arnie are holding hands and I think that's neat.

Would hot chocolate really hurt his diet that much?

And why did Brutus and Arnie switch places in between the last panels?

We took a look at Action Comics #579 by Jean-Marc and Randy Lofficer, Keith Giffen, and Bob Oskner and definitely not guest-starring characters from Asterix. If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Loser On all Fronts

March 1, 1966

Oh, good lord! My precious watercooler! Is it okay? Do we have more water to put in it? Get out of the way! I'll carefully and lovingly stand it back up.

Thornapple must stumble over the watercooler a lot considering Mr. Quit Smith tried to warn him about it.

Is that $10 an hour, which would be a good raise, or $10 a year, which would be an 83¢ per month raise?

Ok. But what about the cabinets? All my crappy food is in the pantry corner, in cabinets, or on the counter. Maybe the Thornapples refrigerate everything even if it doesn't need it.

Which Day Would the Pointless Meetings Be?

February 18, 1966

It's nice that the United States government allowed this Native to keep a fairly substantial part of his land--even if it probably isn't his original land. It's not nice that all the other Natives has been killed due to disease or violent conflicts with said government.

"I would love it, but the chief would never go for that!" Yeah, that's the point. Veeblefester has been gunned down on the street like CEOs should be and now I'm in charge. I'm in charge. It's literally the first thing I said.

If I only work Tuesday and Thursday, do I still get paid like I'm working five days a week? I'm not working 20 hours on those days am I?

On a Mission

February 15, 1966

Oh, look how happy he is in the third panel. Poor guy. And he doesn't even have a volleyball to talk to. I guess he can now just talk to the parrot. Teach the parrot some new words. It does worry me that the previous guy who was stranded on this island only got to "Hi there!" but that's life. And death.

Veeblefester is on some kind of high. Which means he is probably going to do something abominable. Rich people tend to do that. Which is why we need to storm their mansions, take their money, and spit roast them like pigs.

This Is All Arnie's Fault

Felix is definitely not doing dry January. I mean, you've seen this month. Enjoy this special Pat Sullivan Felix strip, one of the few original illustrations of Felix he did.

August 24, 1986

Women, amirite?

What is Gladys complaining about? Look how easy it was to board this airplane! Shut up and enjoy the flight. Unless, she's not nagging and Brutus is just assuming she is. Maybe she's angrily asking why Wilberforce isn't coming with them. He doesn't get dinner or a vacation.

Someone on GoComics asked why the plane was delayed so long. I would assume it's because of the snow that's up to their knees.

It will never not amaze me that Brutus takes a plane from Cleveland to Pittsburgh which is, at most, a two and a half hour drive. I guess if Veeblefester is willing to pay for it, then who am I to question it?

As I move away from social media, more things that were exclusive to my social media will be posted here. The first entry was an updated and expanded post on Trail Park in Baldwin City, Kansas, a small park commemorating the Santa Fe Trail. If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Replacement

February 11, 1966

We cured the common cold and the only side effect is that it shrinks you? Sounds like a good deal to me. It also seems like something that could be fixed easily. Sadly, whatever is causing the explosive bloody diarrhea could not be isolated.

Anyway, get vaccinated!

I have to appreciate that Veeblefester hired a fresh, young go-getter ready to prove himself and his seasoned employees are standing around the watercooler talking about it.

You two need to stay away from the new sales rep.

Everybody Wants a Log

January 25, 1966

I'm not a huge movie person, but did actors die on the set a lot back then? Is this why Russell Crowe wasn't in Gladiator 2? Did Paul Mescal kill him accidentally on set? Has anyone seen Russell Crowe in the last year or so?

Remember 2019? Before the world turned upside down? I had stopped doing Born Loser posts in May of that year but returned because 2020 happened and I was home a lot! So I never got to comment on this one or probably any of the others that we'll see this week. I am disappointed that we won't get an original Christmas strip this year though.

It's an artificial fireplace log, Brutus. It's not really going to burn.

These Two Minutes Will Last At Least Eight

So you need two minutes at the end of each day to gather yourself and strategize for the conclusion of work? Do you need someone to announce it? You have the luxury of having clocks around your workplace that football players don't have.

Arnie is probably regretting taking Brutus up on his offer to come over and watch the game.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Monday Quickies

December 27, 1965

This is a beach priest. He has no power over you.

Cool. Now things in Brutus' house are trying to kill him.

It's Suspicious Activity on a Canceled Credit Card, It's Not the End of the World, Arnie

December 15, 1965

THEN WRITE A LETTER AND MAIL IT TO SOMEONE WHO CARES!! THIS WINDOW IS FOR COMPLAINTS SO IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO COMPLAIN THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!

Surely, you saw this suit before buying it. You saw the long-ass sleeve, uneven button placement, and pants leg and said "I think this'll work."

July 24, 2024

Ok. Sure. I'll work 12 hour days. Do I get 4 days off? That's the only way I'd work 12 hours a day. Also, I need at least a $75,000 a year salary.

"Are they going to send you a new one?" What kind of question is that? I'd ask what was purchased that was suspicious? A bunch of calling cards from Mexico? Yeah, that's suspicious. A very specific OnlyFans model subscription? Maybe not so suspicious.

Strawberry or Cherry?

December 4, 1965

I understand that using K-W-I-T for quit is supposed to show us that Lunk here isn't the brightest bulb in the pack, but the dropout rate was around 15% and it was much easier to get a decent paying job without a high school diploma back in 1965. I know someone like the comic strip elite like Art Sansom wouldn't understand, but sometimes school just isn't for some people.

Gladys makes Brutus breakfast every morning. It's nothing special, Arnie.

So Brutus is eating a cold toaster pastry and drinking cold coffee...from a Styrofoam cup?

Why don't Brutus and Arnie carpool?

Dope Springs Eternal

November 20, 1965

I've never been stranded on an island before. It's on my to-do list. But these islands never seem big enough to even rise above the water. Wouldn't an errant wave just wash you into the sea? I mean, islands in the middle of the Pacific freak me out anyway. I don't see how the people of Napari, Te Tautua Village, or Adamstown do it. Just hoping you don't get swept away into the ocean like Wilson the Volleyball.

Brutus is going to get yelled at, fired, and possibly thrown out a window. And it's a holiday week, too.