Monday, January 27, 2025

Loser On all Fronts

"See here, Mr. Quit, I demand a $10 Smith, or I raise!" screams Thornapple at his boss, Mr. Smith. "Care to try that again?" Mr. Smith sneers as Thornapple vibrates with embarrassment. Thornapple begins to leave the office. "Oh, and Thornapple, don't stumble over the..." Thornapple has indeed stumbled over the watercooler just outside the office spilling water all over and hurting his pride even more.
March 1, 1966
Oh, good lord! My precious watercooler! Is it okay? Do we have more water to put in it? Get out of the way! I'll carefully and lovingly stand it back up.

Thornapple must stumble over the watercooler a lot considering Mr. Quit Smith tried to warn him about it.

Is that $10 an hour, which would be a good raise, or $10 a year, which would be an 83¢ per month raise?

Brutus and Arnie are at work standing in front of the watercooler. "Hey, you look like you've lost some weight, Thorny. Are you on a new diet?" "Yeah, Gladys finally came up with something that works...A timer lock on the refrigerator door."
Ok. But what about the cabinets? All my crappy food is in the pantry corner, in cabinets, or on the counter. Maybe the Thornapples refrigerate everything even if it doesn't need it.