Thursday, June 30, 2022

That Dessert Isn't Special

Does Brutus not know how cake is made? Does Gladys not know how cake is made? Have they just been frying all the cake batter they make? I mean, that sounds delicious and technically you can fry a cake, but I'm sincerely worried about Brutus and Gladys' brains.

Even the waitress is like, "Hope he didn't get this brain damage at my diner."

Wednesday, June 29, 2022

She's Sitting Right There, Brutus

Not even two months ago, Brutus was talking about how he wanted to have sex with Gladys' lasagna. Back in 2018, Gladys made her beloved lasagna healthier and Brutus and Wilberforce rioted. I mean, I guess people don't read The Born Loser for the rigid continuity.

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

You Don't Drink Iced Coffee To Cool Down

Devotees will know that Brutus takes the bus to work most of the time. Is it a ten-minute walk there and back or ten-minutes both ways? And I'm just going to assume that when this comic was created a couple or so weeks ago that it was really hot and not...Googles high temperature in Cleveland for Tuesday, June 28, 2022...72 degrees.

Monday, June 27, 2022

Is It Me or Does Sharing the Ottoman Look Weird?

I guess this is a better conversation than talking about your body starts rejecting you, falling apart, and becoming a colossal joke. I like talking about "the good old days" but my good old days are probably a little different than Uncle Ted's. Like, I never rolled a wicker hoop down the street or wandered around downtown picking up cans for two cents each, two things I imagine kids from the 1940s did.

Keen observers will notice that their coffee mugs are labeled 'B' and 'T' which I assume stand for 'Brutus' and 'Ted'.

Sunday, June 26, 2022

Clean Freak

Geez, Brutus, quit asking so many questions and just let her clean. I don't know why she's wearing a small cleaning apron or a headband/bandana thingy but whatever she needs to clean, I guess.

Saturday, June 25, 2022

Talk More About Being Old

There has to be something else Brutus could talk to Uncle Ted about than being old. Uncle Ted was in the military, Uncle Ted presumably has a family of his own--they don't visit him but he has them, I'm sure Uncle Ted had a long-term job and probably has hobbies. Why can't we talk about those things?

Friday, June 24, 2022

Mother Gargle Reprieve

What the hell does Mother Gargle have going on that's so damn important? She probably just doesn't want to make the hour and a half drive from Erie, Pennsylvania. Not with these gas prices. I don't understand why Mother Gargle visits every weekend anyway. Every two weeks is enough. It's not like she even likes these people.

Thursday, June 23, 2022

That's the Smile of a Now-Traumatized Child

At least Gladys is self-aware. I don't need to open up the GoComics website one day and see a terrifying Baby Huey situation going on.

Why are 70s clothes coming back in style? Is it because clothing really didn't change during the 2000s, 2010s, and 2020s so we have to go back 40-plus years? Let's be honest, clothes haven't changed because we were all told we'd all be wearing the same thing. Either sleek, shiny tinfoil-looking things or whatever the hell George Jetson is wearing.
The man of the future will just have one
giant grundle instead of a crotch and butt.

Wednesday, June 22, 2022

Why Is Brutus Wearing That Spiffy Shirt/Jacket Combo?

Look, Chip, just because you put it in your comic doesn't make it a legitimate way to tell your wife that you want an open marriage. Or whatever you are reaching for. ("You know what's a mystery, my wife? Jillian, that single mom that moved in down the block.")

Long-term relationships are very nuanced and what may work for yours may not work for others. Heck, what works for one person in the relationship may not work for the other person. That's why it's important to talk to your significant other to make sure you are on the same page in your relationship. Don't want to end up like Brutus and Gladys. Or, God forbid, Leroy and Loretta Lockhorn.

Tuesday, June 21, 2022

How Are Your Poops?

I looked up why you might weigh more in the morning. Most of it has to do with eating heavy the night before--too many carbs, salt, or alcohol. Brutus may also be either too hydrated or not hydrated enough. Another cause could be constipation. But I'm almost positive that Brutus is menstruating.

Sunday, June 19, 2022

This Is the Future...Get Used To It

Maybe you'd be less hot if you wore a short-sleeve shirt...

Does the microwave meal book only have recipes for two servings? Why doesn't Wilberforce ever eat? Is...Is he a robot? It would explain why he's so terribly bad at every aspect of baseball. Being a good player was never installed in him.

Saturday, June 18, 2022

Brutus Is a Simple Man

I follow a couple people on Twitter that went through rough divorces and reading about their child visitation negotiations is fascinating. As someone who had a visitation negotiation, it's interesting learning about other ones. One that I follow, they were seen as an unfit mother because they didn't want the kids on Mother's Day. They took the point of the day as meaning "Why should I have the kids on my day? Shouldn't, technically, I get the day off from them?" It's a valid point. Any day that is "your day" should be yours to do with what you will. If you actually want to do something then do it. If you just want to lie down, watch TV, and nap all day, then do it.

Also, if you are getting a divorce, don't be an ass to the other person.

Friday, June 17, 2022

He Makes the Other Players Look Good

Does baseball have an out limit? "Your team has made five outs, you don't get anymore!" "That player has made five outs, they don't get to play anymore!" Five times? That seems like a lot. But I guess if there are nine batters, Wilberforce would bat every other inning at least so that tracks.

For someone who watches a lot of sports, Brutus sure is ignorant about a lot of it. And he was just watching baseball the other day.

Thursday, June 16, 2022

Salad and Water

Both of y'all are going to be hungry in a couple hours.

I bet Wilberforce is glad he doesn't get to have dinner tonight.

Wednesday, June 15, 2022

Any Suffering Is Hers and Hers Alone

You know how many ways Mother Gargle has suffered since Brutus married Gladys? None. None ways.

Mother Gargle is always so upset with Brutus over the general "mother hates her son-in-law" trope that I'm pretty sure Ol' Ramona hates Wilberforce as well. In their (very few) collaborations together, Ramona doesn't seem all that fond of him. Basically just going through the motions of being a grandparent. Maybe it's because he's 9-years-old and it's scientifically proven that all kids stop being cute at 8.

Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Slightly Better Tuesday

I have never been a sports person so I don't quite understand how people can watch people essentially move a ball back and forth across a field. I mean, I get watching your home team or a specific athletes but people who can watch any and every game shown that day just baffle me. Of course they'd probably ask me the same thing about watching Seinfeld, The Golden Girls, The IT Crowd, The Office, and BuzzFeed Unsolved all the damn time.

Monday, June 13, 2022

Pink and Yellow

I don't really have anything for today. I'm not going to go for the obvious low-hanging fruit. Love is love after all. But when are Brutus and Gladys going to wear more seasonally appropriate clothing? I guess Brutus always wears a sweater-like thing with the occasional short-sleeved polo shirt.

Here's hoping Tuesday offers more.

Sunday, June 12, 2022

In the Mail? How Long Has Brutus Been Sick?

Before we get to today's comic, there's a couple of announcements I would like to throw out here. First, I'm going to be keeping up my history, gravestone, and comic posts on social media over the summer. History posts will be on Mondays, gravestones will be on Wednesday, and comics will be on Friday. If you enjoy any or all of these, please engage with them on social media: Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I'm still figuring out how I want to post these comics on the website.

Next, the creator of My Dad Is Dracula, a wholesome comic that you may have seen bouncing around the intersphere, has created a plush of his two characters: Dad and Son. Get yours today a few months from now by going here.

Covid has finally punctured the comic strip bubble the Thornapples live in. "Cold." Sure. Or maybe he has monkeypox. Or something else. We're living in the plague-times now.

Love how Brutus blames the papercut on his mother-in-law and not on, you know, the whole point of the strip, him being a born loser.

If you would like to support my writing, research, photography, or comics, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Saturday, June 11, 2022

That Can't Be Good for the Remote

It's Saturday. In the summer. What could possibly be on TV tonight? Sports? Then why's he calling them shows?

Didn't Brutus want to play golf today? I guess it's raining otherwise he wouldn't be sitting in that chair staring at a blank television fiddling with his remote.

Friday, June 10, 2022

I'm Thinking of Having You Tested, Son

I'll bite (and no, that wasn't a pun on Dracula or the T-Rex). Who would win in a fight? I'd go with the T-Rex. I know people would argue that Batman would win what with his dumb gadgets and all but while I think Dracula and Batman would be able to hold their own for awhile, the T-Rex, with his mindless rage, would ultimately win.

At least that's how I do it when I get my action figures out.

Thursday, June 09, 2022

Hey, Brutus, How's Your Golf Game? 🤣

Mother Gargle will make it her responsibility to guarantee that Brutus is unable to play golf. Whether it's doing an offensive rain dance or driving out to the course and doing donuts on the green, Mother Gargle will make sure Brutus never plays another round of golf again.

Wednesday, June 08, 2022

Maybe Brutus Should Get Himself a New Notebook

I mean, at least he's writing in it every day. That's more than a lot of people would do for six months.

See, what you do, is you make it more interesting. Did you have any good conversations at work? He talks to Veeblefester, Arnie, and blond sexual harasser all the time. What did you talk to them about? What did you watch on TV? It's not that hard. It's the same thing I tell my students. Don't just say "I ate dinner", what did you eat for dinner? Paint me a picture.

Tuesday, June 07, 2022

99% Chance That Watch Is Gold-Plated

I find it hard to believe that Uncle Ted has been retired for at least ten years and Brutus has never seen that watch. And giving out watches for your retirement isn't really something that happens anymore. Maybe some companies do that but I feel most just hand out plaques now. Or, if they'd rather, nothing.

Monday, June 06, 2022

Brutus, Dude, You Don't Need To Hold the Handle

Is Brutus' gas tank behind the license plate? Do they still make cars with the gas tank behind the license plate? I feel like that's an old car thing. Gas in Ohio is around $4.82 a gallon as of me writing this. If the gas goes up in real life like it does in this comic, it will be around $4.87 by the end of this sentence.

This is a good strip. I mean, it's no Wilberforce is literally first base and I fear what the GoComics and Facebook comments will devolve into but it's pretty good.

Sunday, June 05, 2022

Bluto's Just Strangling an Innocent Man...He Deserves To Be Twisted Into a Knot

We have a new writer/artist on the long-running Thimble Theatre/Popeye comic strip. Randy Milholland apparently was the most popular of the creators during the Popeye Cartoon Club run back in 2019 and is now the new creator for the regular Sunday strip. Congratulations, I hope your run is long and successful.

Yes, Castor's daughter is named Deezil.

Look, if you're trying to recreate the movie-going experience from the 1970s then charging $50 isn't part of it. Tickets were around $1.75 back then. Add on another $1.75 for soda and popcorn and you are still nowhere close to $50. But whatever, enjoy the movie guys.

Weird that Uncle Ted has the same living room setup as Brutus and them. He even has more places to sit despite Brutus' house having three people living in it. That TV looks precarious though.

Is Ian Petty's cat, Champion, okay? Does Ian think this
is his cat?

If you would like to support my writing, research, photography and comics, you can buy me a cup of coffee over on Ko-fi.

Saturday, June 04, 2022

Didn't Even Ask What Kind of Jelly

Did Gladys just pull that sandwich from behind her back? Does Wilberforce--her son--get lunch? No, just the poverty-stricken neighborhood waif.

Friday, June 03, 2022

Single-Handedly Keeping That Mall Open

Oh, I see Gladys can use the car today.

I mean, at least she didn't break a window and then realize it was the wrong car. Honestly, that outcome better warrants whatever the hell Brutus is doing in the last panel. Did he poop himself a little?

Thursday, June 02, 2022

Tell Wilberforce To Get Milk

From what I know, the Thornapples only have one car. But Brutus typically takes the bus to work leaving Gladys to be able to use the car all day. Knowing this then begs the question: Why couldn't Gladys go get the milk? She's been home all day! Did Brutus take the car today? There's a corner store so couldn't Gladys walk? How far away is this corner?

I'm just exhausted with Brutus having to work all day while Gladys stays home and he's still expected to go to the store and pick up milk--while riding the bus, mind you. If Wilberforce was under the age of five or they had a baby, I'd get it. But he's not and they don't. Get the milk yourself and let Brutus rest when he gets home from work.

Wednesday, June 01, 2022


Ugh. Uncle Ted, quit clenching your butt cheeks and doing Kegel exercises on my chair. My wife and son sit there.