Sunday, January 15, 2023

Three German Goofy Comics

I can't remember where I got this comic book from. It was either an antique store or one of those brown bag grab bag things. Either way, it was a huge waste of money (although I'm pretty sure it was at most a dollar) considering I don't read German.

Thankfully, through advances in technology and not through just learning another language, I can now read and present this comic. Starting with the cover, this is the first issue of the third volume which came out in 1983. I don't know if the guy Goofy is obsessing over is supposed to be someone we (Germans) recognize or just generic nice hair that Goofy doesn't have. But he's trying and he's happy. That's really all that matters.

The first story is Ein Hungerbauch, or A Hungry Belly. Goofy is wandering around town looking for employment and winds up at a circus who just so happens to have a job opening. The ringmaster(?) or circus owner, who looks very shady and has resting tied-a-woman-to-train-tracks face, offers Goofy Karl's job. Karl's job was to eat. A lot.

Goofy: "Do you have a job for me?"

Ringmaster: "Depends. Do you like to eat?"
All Goofy has to do is eat six pounds of spaghetti, 57 meatballs, and ten scoops of raspberry ice cream every hour. Goofy is thrilled and is excited to tell is friends, Mickey, Minnie, and Clarabelle. The three of them are also excited to support their friend.
Goofy: "Hello, there you all are! I have something to tell you!
Mickey, Minnie, and Clarabelle arrive at the circus to watch Goofy. This is his sixth performance of the day but Goofy happily scarfs the food down. I'm a huge Goofy fan but I don't recall one of his things being able to eat a lot. Not like Jughead or Shaggy.
I don't think I need to translate this panel.
Goofy finishes his performance, gets a round of applause. Goofy then meets up with his friends and they begin leaving the circus. The ringmaster stops Goofy, saying that he has another show in an hour. Goofy shouts back that he's going to lunch with his friends. The end.
Ringmaster: "Hey, Wait a moment! Where are you going? The next
show is in an hour!"

The next story is Ein Echter Huttrick, or A Real Hat Trick. Goofy is going to perform magic at the Police Ball and he's showing Mickey and Officer O'Hara (I'm assuming that's his name. I've seen him before and think that's his name. I'm not looking it up.) his trick of cracking an egg into his hat, saying "Abracadabra" and watching it turn into a chick.
Goofy: "I'll show you my trick for the police ball again."

At the ball, Goofy starts to get stage fright as he watches the juggler perform. Mickey assures him that he'll do just fine. Elsewhere, a thief is being bold and robbing the cloakroom being used by the police officers. When someone catches him, the thief runs away and hides under Goofy's magic table. Goofy wheels his table out on stage to perform his trick. He cracks the egg into the hat which startles the thief (so that's how they do it).
Goofy: "Abracadabra, three times a black cat! An egg in two in with it.
What comes next?"

Now covered in egg, the thief exposes himself as being under the table and is quickly arrested. Unfortunately, Goofy was unable to finish his trick. Mickey, hearing applause, drags Goofy back on stage. The cops loved the trick because magic was used to apprehend a criminal. Hooray, brave Goofy! The end.
Stage Worker: "That's him! The pickpocket from the wardrobe! Hold
tight! Well done!"

The last, and longest story, is Die Schlafm├╝tze, or The Sleepyhead. Mickey and Goofy are at some old house on a coastal cliff--it's explained they are cleaning it so it can be sold but whatever. As Mickey goes to sleep, Goofy decides to stay up and watch a talk show. Meanwhile, some shady sailors are making their way to the house. Back at the house, the talk show Goofy is watching has on a hypnotist. I bet you can all figure out where we're going from here.
I'm not translating that stupid narration box.
Mickey: "Oh man, I'm dead tired. I think I'm going to lie down, Goofy."

Goofy: "Do that! I'm going to finish watching the talk show."

The hypnotist on TV winds up hypnotizing Goofy into falling asleep whenever he hears the word...goofy. The shady sailors arrive at the house which wakes Mickey up. He wakes Goofy up and they go to the basement to see what the commotion is. Remember, Goofy falls asleep whenever he hears his name. Down in the basement, the pirates have a device that can dissolve stone, concrete, steel, whatever so they can get to a hidden submarine. Their plan is to travel underwater and use the dissolving gun to enter ships and rob them. It makes sense except for the part of them being underwater.
Pirate Captain: "Here! The sound waves simply dissolve stone, 
concrete and steel, and..."

Pirate sidekick: "There is a hole in the stone! Great thing, that!"

Mickey wants to go get some help but accidentally puts Goofy to sleep. Mickey is then captured by the pirates, Goofy wakes up, Goofy falls asleep again, Goofy wakes back up, and is tossed the dissolver gun. He uses it to trap the other two pirates in a hole and then falls asleep again. The pirates steal the dissolving gun and make their getaway in the sub. Mickey knocks some rocks into the water, trapping the pirates. Goofy realizes he must be hypnotized and Mickey starts calling Goofy Donald so he doesn't fall asleep anymore. Goofy, I guess, is cursed with this affliction now. The end.
Mickey: "Well, as the poet says, Good duck, all good, Donald!"

Goofy: "Donald? Listen, Mickey, I think my parents somehow baptized me
differently when I was little."