Sunday, April 10, 2016

Sunday Comics #19: New Beginning, Part 2

Almost exactly six years ago, I published a Thursday Comics detailing and mocking the first issue of Unicorn Comics' "New Beginning", a comic book featuring a guy named Terry who saves his high school classmates when a nuclear holocaust breaks out during their 10-year reunion. If you haven't read it yet, go right ahead. I'll wait.

For years, I've been searching for a hint of the other issues. I came to the conclusion that there were four issues spanning from 1988 to 1992. I could never find them which was a huge letdown for me. But then, I found them. Or at least, three issues of them. And they were only four dollars!!

I was right! The back cover on issue #1 was the cover to issue #2.
We open issue two where we left off in issue one. The survivors have emerged from their bunker only to find a pack of probably rabid dogs chowing down on their dead friends and classmates. Debbie tells Terry to go back inside the bunker and wait until the dogs leave but Terry takes another tack.
Issue two is also signed.
The dogs clearly don't listen to Terry and he begins plugging the dogs full of holes. Since there are too many dogs (at least a dozen of them!), the others grab guns and begin shooting. Steve is attacked by one of the dogs, who tears a huge chunk out of his arm. While he cries like a little bitch, Terry finishes off the dogs,
If this page were in color, it might be
pretty beautiful.
commenting "Man's best friend? Yeah, right!" I take it that Terry is not a dog person. Really, Terry isn't even a person person. Terry doesn't trust anyone as far as he can throw them. And all because someone pushed him into a pool in high school. The survivors pump Steve full of morphine because this comic takes place in an alternate universe where morphine is sold over the counter. The other survivors want to stay in the bunker until Steve is all better but "we [don't have the] luxury of time down here" and "it's beginning to stink" so Terry forces his classmates to climb the stairs back into the
world above. What's hilarious is that all of them climb the stairs, find the door blocked by rubble so Terry sends them all back down the stairs in order to blow up the rubble. I am also getting more and more disturbed by the porn-stache on Bruce's face. It's really bothering me for some reason.

Now that the survivors are back on the surface, Terry has more surprises up his sleeve. From an underground garage, he reveals that he has tricked out a couple of armored vehicles. Curtis, a floppy-haired blond guy, comments that Terry's insane. I agree.
Despite me making fun of him spending 8 million of an 11 million dollar settlement and Terry being right, I concur with
Curtis' astute assessment of Terry.
See? I told you so.
The survivors take to the road for several days in order to look for other survivors. The search doesn't go well but they do stumble onto a small town where the guys siphon gas out of abandoned cars for their giant vehicles while the women go shopping. Terry decides that they will never find anyone out in the boonies so they head off to Chicago where just minutes in, they run into a reject gang from A Clockwork Orange. The reject droogs, one whose name is Marvin, begin firing on our survivors, shooting Rob in the arm, side, and hip. Porn-stache, er, Bruce, opens fire with the M-60 on the roof of the truck blasting the reject droogs into Kingdom Come. Marvin, ever the stereotypical
villain, runs away so he can "kill and mutilate some other day". During Marvin's escape, he runs into Terry and the two attempt to kill each other. Unfortunately, Terry is out of ammo and Marvin underestimates Terry dodging ability. The gang the droogs were harassing integrate themselves into Terry's gang. One of the members of this gang is Jim Nosirrom who was the leader of the rock band The End. We then segue into Jim's origin story which involves being trapped for seven months in a recording studio after the bombing and now only communicating through song lyrics. Terry immediately becomes annoyed by this turn of events because all traces of humor and empathy on him were washed off when he was pushed in that pool ten years ago.

Marvin returns to his base to meet with the Colonel. The Colonel tells Marvin to take his five best guys to hunt down these "renegade soldiers" and then he tells muscular behemoth Tank to keep an eye on Marvin. Marvin and his baddies attack the factory Terry and everybody else is staying at but, like the insane moron he is, fails in his mission and later, while camping on his way back to the Colonel's, Marvin is killed by Tank for failing the mission. When Terry stumbles upon the dangling corpse of Marvin, we learn that the Colonel is really Terry's brother Gerry. To be continued.

Gerry's order falls on deaf ears and two shots are fired at Terry. Tank extends an olive branch to Terry's gang and after a passionate kiss from Debbie, Terry goes to meet the Colonel and is delighted to see that it is his brother. Terry apparently doesn't notice or care that the collar on Gerry's coat has "S.S." embroidered on
"Gerry! You're looking very Reich-ous
these days!" Get it?
it. Gerry invites Terry's gang back to his compound and while Terry agrees to go, he doesn't trust Gerry so he tells everyone to keep on their toes. Terry and Gerry make a convoy to Gerry's compound where they are pulled over by a sheriff still enforcing the laws of his county. That's dedication right there. They also pass a group of robed strangers heading off to "the valley".
"What are you doing speeding?"

"Uh, there's been a nuclear holocaust. Why
are you still enforcing these laws?"

*sniff* "Move along, sir."

They all arrive at the compound where Gerry warns Terry and the others about the robed strangers and Pat reveals that he and several other people want to leave because they are sick of the killing. Terry both chastises and allows Pat and the others to leave and even sends a couple others with them to help them get back to the main road. Terry's such a swell guy. Shortly after dropping off the deserters, their tire is flattened by a board with a nail in it and they are run off the road. Back at the compound, it's going on lock down because tonight is apparently the night where the robed strangers do their annual "purge". How convenient.

When the others don't come back, Terry attempts to leave to find them but Tank won't let anyone past the gates. Terry demands that Tank open the gate and Tank responds with "Make me" so Terry hits him and a fight ensues. While Terry holds his own, Tank gets the better of him and is about to kill Terry when Debbie pulls a gun on Tank. Gerry stops the fight and, while arguing against it, lets Terry and his gang leave the compound to look for the others. They find the wrecked van and discover that they were taken by the hooded strangers to be used in their sacrifices tonight. We end issue three on a massive battle scene featuring Terry and his gang fighting the robed strangers while Gerry's minions enter the fray.

To be continued.

And that's it for "New Beginning" until I am able to get issue four. I've seen a panel from it but haven't found an actual copy yet. I will keep looking or if you have one, let me know.