Hi and Lois
As all us comic readers know, Lois is fat tub of lard. Besides, they don't make swimsuits in size FAT. Wait. I exist in the Internet, yes they do.
Dick Tracy
Finally a comic strip has answered my letters and made transgender porn star and sensuous witch Bailey Jay a character.
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Mark Trail
"No, Rusty, it wasn't exciting. Stuff that could kill you isn't exciting. Now get back in your Harry Potter closet under the stairs and give yourself 70 lashes and think about the ignorance you just said."
Dustin
How would getting cut off by a driverless car teach him a lesson? Because then he'd be upset at no one?
Heathcliff
The Nutmeg men have taught their bird to say the word "fart". Repeatedly. Iggy's grandma's friend doesn't seem too offended so no harm, no foul.
Ripley's Believe It Or Not
The baseball fact is true so enjoy some illustrated Gerald Ford as your reward.