Friday, September 2, 2016

The Vampire Fog


When I started Comic Comics back in June, I wanted it to harken back to when my website first started where I did commentary on comic strips. I planned on posting every day in June and seeing how readership went and then tweak it, or change the schedule or just stop doing it.

It also harkened back to 1998 or 1999, when I used to take extra copies I had of comic books, create new covers for them, then write jokes and humorous observations in them. I called the 11-issue series, Comic Comics and comics would range from common Marvel and DC to more obscure comics to rare independent comics. I enjoyed doing it and the humorous analysis would return in 2008 in a much more convenient way. I still enjoy doing and even regretted ending "Losers Are Made, Not Born" but I felt that Tauy Creek needed to focus more on writing but I came to realize that I needed something going more than just once a week if I wanted to maintain readership so I debated on what to do and decided to return to my roots of comics mockery.

Tonight, I'm going to attempt to return to the original format of Comic Comics with Weird Horror #1 from St. John Comics and the story "The Vampire Fog".

This fog strangles people? Awesome.

I hope I never die on a text box. That seems so embarrassing. Like dying of auto-erotic asphyxiation.

The problem with comic books is that you can't really convey action like a ship being rocked by waves. Instead, you can only show fuzzy images in the background suddenly grasping a table while a shot glass flies into the air.

An undersea earthquake. That's what they think took several islands that were "discovered" and then mysteriously disappeared.

Who is that guy in the green suit? He's not dressed for 1855 sailing.

"Quick, Big Shirtless Mitchell! For Heaven's sake, get us out of this!"

"I--I can't turn the wheel, sir! My glorious pecs, they do nothing!"

A fog that strangles people and takes their blood? Why does a fog need blood, I don't care if it is a vampire fog.

"It's not suspicious at all that you are the only survivor and don't know what the hell is going on around here even though you are the captain. Cool eyes, by the way. Those aren't suspicious either."

"Is anything wrong?! This fog is killing people! I know that you don't have anything to do with it but it's very unnerving!"

What? Captain Jamison is behind all of this? Who would've thought?

He's a servant of the fog now? How does that happen? No, he is...the fog? This is really confusing. Even more so that Captain Burns keeps changing appearance every couple of panels.

Are you telling me that no one ever went through the fog with a fire going? I know you don't normally have fire on a wooden sailing ship back in 1855 but one would assume fire would be used at some point by someone.

"I tells ya, the fog felt like the Devil hisself and it screamed. Screamed like a banshee, it did."

"You sailors are just drunk all the time, aren't you?"

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