I Don't Want a Plant!

January 9, 1975

So Hurricane Hattie used to have parents. They must've got tired of her and just abandoned her. They look like typical parents alive in the 1970s.

I love the look the parents are giving each other. "Did you teach her about sex?" "No, did you?" "Of course not!" "Then where did she learn it?!" On the streets, of course. This is Hurricane Hattie we're talking about here.

We've been very Mother Gargle heavy this week. I don't like it.

Gladys doesn't want a damn plant. She's not going to take care about it so why are you wasting money on one? Because the plants that you have bring you joy and solace and give you a reason to wake up in the morning? Pfft. Whatever.