"But seriously, folks, a tropical depression is an organized system of clouds and thunderstorms with a defined, closed surface circulation and maximum sustained winds of less than 17 metres per second or 39 miles per hour. It has no eye and does not typically have the organization or the spiral shape of more powerful storms. However, it is already a low-pressure system, hence the name "depression". I'll be here all week!"
Wilberforce is then pantsed and dragged around the track after school.