Friday, March 27, 2009

#187: Mental Abortion

Okay, it's time for The I'm-A-Jerk Hour. I have this friend on one of my social websites who is pregnant. At least, she says she's pregnant. There's really no way you can tell because her pictures are from before she announced the pregnancy. I don't mind this girl and that's why she's one of my friends because I actually have friends on my social sites not just a bunch of random people trying to get the most friends but she's not a girl who should be getting pregnant. There's a lot of people in this world who should just not be getting pregnant but it happens and there's no way for you, me or President Obama to stop it. Anyway, there's a part of me that believes that she is not pregnant and I kind of feel terrible for thinking it. (Not real terrible, but slightly.) Most mothers-to-be post the pictures of their belly getting bigger, maybe the the sonograms, baby shower, etcetera but none of that here. It kind of baffles me.

When I knew her, she had said that she had a miscarriage (an old boyfriend got mad and pushed her down the stairs, which come to think of it, I had a girlfriend tell me that same story) so I understand her keeping it kind of hush-hush but still nothing!? But the part of me that doesn't believe it wonders why she would be lying. Attention? Hopeful thinking? Shits and giggles? I don't know but I also wonder how she'd get rid of it if she is lying. She obviously can't go into labor and go to a doctor, he'll just say "There's nothing in here" and send her on her way. I'm aiming more toward the middle-of-the-night-stomach-pains-turned-miscarriage story (I have a story on that, too) but I could be wrong.

Deep down I don't really want her to be lying and I'm 79% sure she's not but there's that other [insert remaining percentage here] that thinks she is. But that part of me is just an ass so I typically try not to listen to that side very often but unfortunately I think the jerk part of me is the rational part of me so I have to listen to it sometimes. I've heard of phantom pregnancies, maybe this is kind of like that. I don't know if she's been to the doctor. I think she posted a status about it one time but that's it. Someone asked her for a scan of the sonogram but whether that happened or if she sent it privately I don't know.

I'm not a fan of girls getting pregnant. Women have been becoming pregnant for millions of years so it's nothing new but once again, I'm a jerk. I work with a girl who's newly pregnant and the first question she asked in training was "do you have maternity leave?" It's kind of required by law to offer it in some capacity but you just started the job and you're asking about maternity leave? I swear, next time I'm gonna have a baby I'm going to take paternity leave.

I want more children, don't get me wrong. I want a nice, sweet blond-haired little girl but I don't want the angsty, sexual dark-haired teenager that will eventually come with it.

Until next time, I remain...
~Brian

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