
When I knew her, she had said that she had a miscarriage (an old boyfriend got mad and pushed her down the stairs, which come to think of it, I had a girlfriend tell me that same story) so I understand her keeping it kind of hush-hush but still nothing!? But the part of me that doesn't believe it wonders why she would be lying. Attention? Hopeful thinking? Shits and giggles? I don't know but I also wonder how she'd get rid of it if she is lying. She obviously can't go into labor and go to a doctor, he'll just say "There's nothing in here" and send her on her way. I'm aiming more toward the middle-of-the-night-stomach-pains-turned-miscarriage story (I have a story on that, too) but I could be wrong.
Deep down I don't really want her to be lying and I'm 79% sure she's not but there's that other [insert remaining percentage here] that thinks she is. But that part of me is just an ass so I typically try not to listen to that side very often but unfortunately I think the jerk part of me is the rational part of me so I have to listen to it sometimes. I've heard of phantom pregnancies, maybe this is kind of like that. I don't know if she's been to the doctor. I think she posted a status about it one time but that's it. Someone asked her for a scan of the sonogram but whether that happened or if she sent it privately I don't know.
I'm not a fan of girls getting pregnant. Women have been becoming pregnant for millions of years so it's nothing new but once again, I'm a jerk. I work with a girl who's newly pregnant and the first question she asked in training was "do you have maternity leave?" It's kind of required by law to offer it in some capacity but you just started the job and you're asking about maternity leave? I swear, next time I'm gonna have a baby I'm going to take paternity leave.
I want more children, don't get me wrong. I want a nice, sweet blond-haired little girl but I don't want the angsty, sexual dark-haired teenager that will eventually come with it.
Until next time, I remain...
~Brian