Sunday, November 13, 2022

Captain Kid Gets Bumped Off

It has been 6 long years since Captain Kid and I crossed paths and since then, the world has gotten darker. Hmm. I think I figured out why everything is terrible.

Anyway, Captain Kid is finally killed off in this story. Unfortunately, he's not stoned or hanged by the townspeople like he is in my dreams but shattering vertebrae in his neck and then being repeatedly trampled by a horse is good too.

I hate when comic writers write in accents. Sometimes it's done well but most of the time they just rush through and just pick things that sound like an accent. At least this is a cowboy accent and not something racist.

Does Captain Kid live in Texas or is this just the town's Texas-ish rodeo?

"And look where the hat lands!" Even the narration box is sick of Captain Kid. "Look where the hat lands! On this dumpster fire of a kid! On this festering sore of society! On this reason why abortion should be legal, accessible, and safe!"

Why does the hat blow away but the posters just fall to the ground?

Yeah, and it goes great with your outfit🙄

Even his "friends" are sick of his shit. These kids probably only hang out with Captain Kid because they hope to see him die and to see what kind of absolutely pointless lies he can make up.

Seriously, he doesn't need to lie here. He just does. For no damn good reason!

I like Pudgy. I like the cut of his jib.

Wait. Is this how he dies? Severe brain damage? Whatever. I'll take it.

I hope he doesn't do anything perverse to the body. That's where I draw the line.

Telling me that nothing will happen to me if I take it easy doesn't exactly make me want to take it easy.

Son of a bitch!

Hear! Hear!

Thousand dollars. Your death. Win-win either way.

Even the tamest horse at the rodeo bucks people off? No matter the horse, Captain Kid is a goner.

I refuse to abbreviate Captain Kid's name like the comic does.

Thunder-Lightening has nearly killed EastEnders actor Jake Wood.

Or maybe Mad Money's Jim Cramer.

Maybe a bald Sean Gunn?

That horse can practically jump over that fence! Yes, what would he do to the person who rides Thunder-Lightening? What. Would. He. Do?

What stupid plan is Captain Kid concocting? I was promised his death and I am going to see him die.

Oh, good. Captain Kid hung those posters (for some reason) and is just to get his death over with. No sense prolonging it.

Why are you feeding this horse oats and tabasco? Maybe Thunder-Lightening is so mean because you are feeding him tabasco.

No. No! He could still die! The title of this story is blantant false advertising! He's neither bumped off (killed) or bumped off (the horse)!

Is that horse sweating?

So I guess this guy hasn't been saving out $1,000 every year just in case someone actually won. Love that his plan for that is to just skip town yet he was worried that Captain Kid's death would be bad for the rodeo.

Yes, that horse is sweating.

That horse is very sweaty.

Captain Kid used the poster glue to glue his ass to Thunder-Lightening's saddle because not only is he a liar, but a cheater as well. Maybe his skin will absorb some of the glue and he'll die of glue poisoning or that thing where your pores are clogged and you suffocate.

Well, at least Captain Kid is getting run out of town. That's something, I guess.

He's a phony! A big, fat phony!!

Huh. Horses do sweat.