Hey, Mother Gargle, if you have an adventurous spirit, I know just the guy for you. He likes getting outdoors and, apparently, older women. In fact, he's taken several cruises that...Wait. I just remembered. He's already in a committed relationship. Also, he might be dead.
But why? You've broken up, like, three times in the last year. You watched this man drunkingly scream songs during karaoke thus ruining that music forever. He got into a literal pissing contest with your cat which should've shut down any romantic thoughts about him. I'm also fairly certain that you've never met his daughter. You know he has a daughter, right?