It's 2018, do kids (and by 'kids' I mean 'boys') still do the "my dad can beat up your dad" shtick? It at least still happens in Chip's mind.
My favorite wake-up smell is bacon. Every night I lay out three strips of bacon on my George Foreman grill by my bed. My alarm goes off and I turn on the grill and go back to sleep. Then, in a few minutes, I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It's delicious. It's good for me. What could possibly go wrong?