Sing Me a Song

Well, this is good news! I randomly sing all the time. Dave Matthews Band, novelty songs from Dr. Demento, TV theme songs, and the occasional random old school country song. I'm gonna remember everything but no one is going to want to be around me.

Choklit

I hate when my favorite places go out of business. Especially when it's a place that has something I can't get anywhere else. Sadly, due to Covid, I've lost a local coffee place and a burrito place that I didn't find until a few months before they were forced to close.

I'm lucky enough to have a chocolate shop in my town and I'd be devastated. I'll mourn your loss, Gladys, by going to my local chocolate shop tomorrow.

A Smile a Day

For fans of multinational investment management corporations, BlackRock founder and CEO Laurence "Larry" Fink is visiting one of his powerful friends, Rancid Veeblefester. It's pretty impressive that Mr. Fink knows Brutus' name but Veeblefester probably talks about Brutus all the time.

The Talk

I hate this dumb song and dance Brutus and Mother Gargle always do. I get that in The Born Loser, it is perpetually 1965 but like Wilberforce's hair was updated from girly little golden curls, maybe cut back on the "mothers-in-law, amiright?" shtick.

Washing the Dog! Washing the Dog!

If Kewpie is dirty then you clean him. Normally, Kewpie seems like a pretty chill dog but must turn into a raging beast if he has to have a bath. My dog does that too if there is another dog located over the fence. She's not very personable.

By the way, Kewpie is apparently one of those dogs that can switch sexes because Kewpie used to be a girl.

Gladys Is the Worst

Jesus Jumped-Up Christ, lady. Quit stealing your kid's candy! And the devious look on her face. What's wrong with this woman? And Brutus just sits there smiling.

I Hope She Chokes On Those Salads

I know we've seen Gladys eat Wilberforce's chocolate bunnies before. Why is she eating her son's stuff? The Easter Bunny, I assume, I don't really know how this works sometimes, left those chocolate bunnies for Wilberforce.

She even made a meal out of it. Got out a plate, a glass of milk. She even put a little flower in a vase. Did she also eat the chocolate bunny with a knife and fork, with her pinky raised? This wasn't a simple "I just can't control myself" situation. This was methodically planned and it's disgusting.

Mother Gargle Once Said She Had Botulism and Brutus Had to Hear the Entire Story

Shouldn't it be "Never ask Grammie how she's doing"? Ah, who cares? Never talk to Mother Gargle, got it. I try to stay away from people who scowl all the time--especially in, what is that, 5x8? 8x10?, a seemingly professional portrait. Someone paid money for that!

Sail Away

Veeblefester probably already has people he pays to be the crew on his yacht. Venezuelans or Chileans or something. And Veeblefester has known Brutus for years, unless Brutus has been taking boat lessons, Veeblefester should already know that Brutus knows nothing of actually sailing boats.

Still Happy Even Though All His Teams Will Lose

Oh, God! I don't know what I hate more: Baseball or April Fool's Day!

It's April Fool's Day.

I don't watch baseball but I guess if you do, enjoy the day. "The crack of the bat! The roar of the crowd! The boys of summer are back!"