Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Why Do So Many People Complain About Parenting?

Probably because it's hard. Think about it, you are choosing to take on a 24-hour, 365 day a year job that, instead of paying you, has you put up your own money. Parenting is probably the worst job in the world that doesn't kill you.
But you'll wish you were dead.
I don't write about parenting a whole. Sure, I'll mention my son, use certain anecdotes, even talk about what he is or has been doing in school but aside from that, evidence of me being a parent on my blog is slim. I also don't have a unique take on parenting. I essentially do what my mom, my aunt and my Grandma did, which, when you think about it, is pretty unique.
What? Kids playing outside? But what about the kidnappers
and pedophiles?!
I've been a single father since my son was born and I've been his primary guardian since he was in Kindergarten. Yes, I complain and I bitch and I moan but if you read anything I've written on this site or anything else (Facebook or Twitter) you wouldn't know it. I don't know if it's just the advent of social media or maybe it's just because I notice it more since I am a single parent but single parents complain a lot. It's one thing if you complain just to work out your frustrations but it's another when it's blatantly obvious you are doing it just to get sympathy. I've seen parents whining about how just going to the store is a chore on par with conquering Rome because of their two kids. They say they need a sitter to do just the most minute thing and they wish that they had a second parent to help take off some of the slack.
And why isn't the baby in a car seat in the seat of the cart? Or maybe you could
invest in one of those baby slings.
And a sitter or a significant other would ease your problems but a sitter costs money that you have repeatedly said you don't have and you chose to have kids with a significant other who, in the end, doesn't care about you or your children. I feel a more constructive use of your time would be to figure out how to do the things you want to do while taking care of your own kids, not complaining on Facebook about it. Vent if you need to but do it in a way that doesn't immediately garner comments of "praying for you", "give me a call if you need help" or any other sympathetic comment.

And then there are the bipolar comments where they simultaneously complain about having kids but then declare them miracles and how they can't picture their life without them. "Gee, thanks, Mom," says your kid if they ever read that. My Mom was a single parent. My aunt was a single parent. I never heard them complain and if/when they did, they didn't do it in front of their children. I consider complaining about your children on Facebook or Twitter to be equal to saying it to your kids' face. When they grow up, they can see those updates and you will have to explain why you typed that.

My point is, is that no one forced you to become a parent. You had a choice in every aspect of that. You are also complaining about something billions of people have done since the dawn of humans and there are people who have had it much worse than you. I rarely complain and when I do, I don't expect a solution, sympathy or even anyone to listen--I tend to not even complain online because that's what it would seem like I was trying to gain. If you want to complain and not make it seem like you looking for those things, start a blog.
There's only over 325,000,000 results. Surely you can grab yourself
some of that pie.