Stull & Cat

Many of you may know Ariana Grande as one of the many singer/actors out there. She is mainly known as Cat Valentine, a character she portrays on Victorious and Sam & Cat. At some point during the year Ariana took a trip to Stull ("near Kansas City, Kansas") and drove through the cemetery where a "sick, overwhelming feeling of negativity [came] over the whole car and we smelled sulphur, which is the sign of a demon." I've been to Stull numerous times and have never smelled sulphur. An oddly lovely mix of musty cemetery, creek and strawberry car air freshener, yes, but never sulphur. Grande then apologized for being in the cemetery, took a picture and they left the cemetery. The article doesn't mentioned if they noticed any farmers with pitchforks or if they were followed back to Highway 40 by a red Geo Tracker. The picture, Grande mentioned, has three faces in it. "Textbook demons", she says. She then tried to send the picture to her manager but it wouldn't go through because it was "666 megabytes." Yeah, uh-huh. I want to see this picture so if you see this Miss Grande please find a way to upload the photo so we can all see it. You may also want to read my article on Stull over at 16th & Mass.

I do love chili. My uncle won a chili cook-off at his church late last month which was kind of cool. He got some money and what looked like a giant golden spoon. I, however, make a pretty mean homemade hot chocolate.

I'm Sorry...You're An Ugly Witch

What makes today's strip even funnier (is "funnier" the right word?) is that I insulted Mother Gargle's appearance the other day. The only difference is that I am not story so I'm not gonna apologize.*




*Also, she's a fictional character.

Law Firm, Link That Reads 'Unsubscribe,' Same Thing

Did you know...that the CAN-SPAM Act of 2003 requires any email being used for commercial purposes to have a visible and operational "UNSUBSCRIBE" link? Yes, I looked into it and no, it's not perfect but honestly, what was perfect during George W. Bush's administration?

The Hills Are Alive.....

Start promising that daily posts are back then miss three days right after. I'm gonna try to do better but last week was just very busy in the evening which is when I post these things.

On Thursday I watched The Sound of Music Live on NBC starring Carrie Underwood. I was about what I expected but Carrie's performance of Maria did not impress but I thought everyone not named Carrie Underwood did very well. I tweeted shortly after I first heard Carrie croak out the words to "The Sound of Music", after testing it on my live-in audience--my wife, about Julie Andrews:

As you can see, it kind of made the rounds on Twitter but only half a dozen people actually replied to it with four being just your standard agreements on Underwood's terribleness. But there was one that said "you can't compare a movie to a live performance." Which I really wasn't. I was just making a joke. A movie can take months to make and produce, edits can be made and things can be done and refilmed to make the film seem as perfect as possible whereas a live performance cannot. I wasn't comparing Carrie Underwood to Julie Andrews but I honestly thought Underwood would live up to Andrews amazing performance but because NBC needed a live Sound of Music why?

It needed to be live to make up for how not-good it was going to be. Didn't like something? It was live. Thought the singing was too shrill and the acting too wooden? It was live. Didn't like when the little girl playing Gretl said "shit" after skipping a line? It was live. NBC can use the "It was live" crutch for anything if the show got bad reviews or something. But I don't think NBC will be using that very much as The Sound of Music Live gave them their biggest Thursday night ratings (excluding sports events) since 2009.

The same could be said about your breasts, Mother Gargle...

Wait. There's more than one company that makes tea cozies?

This is apparently the week of everyone just having a back and forth. Seeing them all in a row is kind of unsettling.

Once again, the Thornapples are allowing Hurricane Hattie to just run amok in their house. Seriously, is Hattie the Sluggo in this strip?

Nelson Mandela, 1918-2013

Crossing the Color Line

Franklin made his debut in Peanuts on July 31, 1968. Franklin has always been one of my favorite Peanuts characters probably because he is rarely seen and tends to be the "straight man" even more so than Charlie Brown. What people don't realize is that it took quite a lot for Franklin to become a character in the strip. Hogan's Alley has a great article on the creation of Franklin and one woman's goal to get a cartoonist to put a black characters in his comic strip.

To Review or Not Review...

One thing I really hate about the Internet is how quickly can jump to the defense of someone they have never met and sometimes never even heard of. You can write a well-thought out review of a book, movie or TV show and someone, inevitably, in the comments write: "You're not a real fan" or "You just don't get it." I've written several reviews on this blog and others, mostly positive, but it's the negative ones that get the most responses. I once said that the seventh season of How I Met Your Mother wasn't very good. I was told to not hate. I wasn't. I feel that the first season is genius and there isn't a bad one in the bunch but the seventh season had numerous problems and said that.

I feel that if you can actually explain why you don't like something then your opinion holds up better but with the exception of only a couple comments, most people were just mad I was "attacking" their favorite things. Part of the burden of having favorite things is having to deal with people who may not agree with you. I like Superman, my favorite author is Michael Chabon, my favorite current TV show is Grimm, my favorite TV show of all time is The Simpson but only the first 11 seasons. My favorite movie is Slums of Beverly Hills and my favorite actor is Nicolas Cage. Even I can point out the flaws of everything I just listed and I am prepared for having to deal with people who think Superman is lame, Nicolas Cage sucks and what the hell is that movie?

I bring this up because I am about finished with a book by a popular young adult author whose other book I read, I absolutely loved and I want to read more but the book I'm reading isn't that great and this is the book that's winning awards and becoming a movie. It's good, don't get me wrong, but I don't like the characters, I predicted what would happen after the two main characters were introduced and I'm confused why these teenagers talk like they are in an episode of Dawson's Creek. Does that bother anyone else having teenagers talk and act well above their age? Maybe if I liked the characters I wouldn't care... I want to write a review on it but I guess I'm torn. Honestly, anything I post here rarely gets any comments so I shouldn't have to defend myself despite the fact my defense is already in the review.

Also, I'm writing this on my iPad Blogger app. I don't recommend it.

So what you're telling me is that Hurricane Hattie lived to be 8-9 years old and has never seen her or anyone else's breath on a cold day. Has she been locked in a dark room?

Shave and a Haircut, 100 Bits

Over the weekend I got my haircut and since I hadn't had a haircut since July and hadn't shaved since late October so it was definitely time so I went downtown and got a haircut and a shave from a local barber--the only one to actually offer old-fashioned shaves. It. Was. Great. I felt so much better afterward. Much better, I think, than if I had attempted to shave on my own which would've taken a long time because I don't have a beard trimmer or anything else to shorten my beard so I would've had to use a razor (or three) to trim, shave and go over again.

Sadly, it's not something I can do every week or even every month but someday, when I'm Mitt Romney rich, I'll be doing it everyday.

Meanwhile, Veeblefester in college was like, I saw, I came, I snuck out quietly the next morning. Amiright?

KHNH #1

The building that housed 91.1 KHNH was a very plain brick building in the parking lot of a Walmart. Miranda Hartman was very nervous about her first day. She woke up way too early and couldn't get back to sleep. She then spent the first two hours awake on the toilet evidently pooping out everything she had eaten in the last two days. Her boyfriend, Charlie, got home about 4 and the two had sex then smoked some weed before she left for work which got here there four hours before she needed to be.

She was the new producer for the Graveyard Shift, an overnight radio program that had been on the air since 2000. It was a fairly popular program and had become the only original overnight program that wasn't syndicated. The previous producer had been with the show since the beginning and was finally hired away to a bigger market. Miranda had only been out of college for four months, had never produced anything and only applied for the job on a lark.

When Miranda got to KHNH, the drive-time show was still on for another half hour or so. She walked to the booth but didn't go in. "You're the new Graveyard producer, aren't you?" asked a fairly attractive man who suddenly appeared behind her.

She jumped. "Yeah. I'm here early..."

"Clearly," he chuckled. "I'm Aubrey, the nighttime deejay. You may know me better as Hotbox."

Miranda extended her hand. "I'm Miranda Hartman . You can call me Randi," she introduced.

"I figured I should introduce myself as we'll probably see each other quite a bit since our schedules overlap."

"Ah, the new producer," another man came up to her.

"Hi, Mr. Redmond," Randi said.

"I'll be honest, I'm shocked Mark and Danny wanted a new producer," Mr. Redmond revealed. "Either one of the could've taken that job especially after they said they wanted to hire someone with no experience."

"Why did they want someone without experience?" Randi asked.

"I don't know," Mr. Redmond shrugged. "They didn't tell and I can only assume. We only got four applications from people with no experience. They particularly like yours because you've only been out of college a few months."

Mr. Redmond walked away leaving Randi and Aubrey alone. "Why did they want someone with no experience?"

"I don't know. I'm sure it's just them trying to give someone a chance and nothing to worry about," Aubrey said. "I have to go in the booth now so I'll see you around this evening."




Mark and Danny started The Graveyard Shift back in 2000. Danny was originally the mid-day host between ten and three while Mark co-hosted the drive time program with a guy named Levi. When Levi left, Mark was offered the hosting job but instead he and Danny proposed their own overnight program. Mr. Redmond was leery at first but agreed. Within a year, The Graveyard Shift was the most popular overnight radio program in Kansas City beating even well-established syndicated programs. Mark and Danny attempted to do new things and soon began deviating from the station' modern rock format to almost playing what they want.

Randi hung around the studio for several hours until Danny came into work at about ten. Danny was usually the first person there so he could get the show planned out. When he walked in, Randi was also in one of the studios listening to Hotbox. "Are you Randi?" Danny asked, walking into the studio.

"Yeah," she said kind of nervously, although her nerves had calmed since she had been there.

"I'm Danny. Glad to finally meet you. Welcome to radio. I hope you know how," he smiled at her and walked off. He went into an odd office space with three offices connected to each other. The offices were shared by all eight deejays at KHNH.

Randi paused and then followed Danny into the office. "Um, Danny?" she laughed nervously as she entered. "I have a question."

Danny looked up at her. "Sure. What's your question?"

"Why did you hire me?"

"That is a very good question. The short answer is, Mark and I liked you. The long answer is when Mark and I first entered the radio game, we were pretty new as well and very inexperienced. Lloyd--Mr. Redmond--took a chance on us and hired us and then he took another chance when we wanted to start The Graveyard Shift. We wanted to take a chance on someone as well. You were the only one never given a chance. We wanted to fix that," Danny explained.

Randi stood up straight. "Really?" she questioned. "That's a weird way to hire people."

"Don't knock it. You now have a job," he smiled at her. "I look forward to being on the air with you."

"Yeah. Me, too. Thanks again."




A few minutes after midnight, after what seemed like twenty minutes of commercials, the opening theme music to The Graveyard Shift began. It was a shortened version of the theme song to the 1990s television show NewsRadio. It was originally just a recorded version from off of the TV show but about three years ago, a local band did their own cover of it and Mark and Danny had been using that ever since. After the
music, Danny went on the air.

"We're going to do things a little different tonight as we have someone new to introduce," Danny began. "Don't worry, Mark is still here but we have a new producer. Everybody please welcome Randi."

"Hello, Kansas City!" Randi exclaimed.

"We hope Randi will become a permanent member of our group and will stick around for as long as the previous producer. It will also be good she's here because we can finally get a woman's perspective on things," Danny said.

"I think you are just trying to push me out," Mark laughed.

"Of course not, Mark. You're my best friend. Unless things really work out with Randi then I might not hang out with you as much."

"She is very cute, just so the listeners know. Do you mind being called cute by nearly complete strangers to possibly several thousands people?" Mark asked.

"No, I think I can handle it. My boyfriend may not like it but he should be asleep."

"So for those of you calling in and texting, Randi is in a relationship," Mark said and then cleared the phone board. "If you wish to call in please make sure that it is not to ask the new producer out."

"She kind of reminds me of Miley Cyrus if the listeners want a visual," Danny said. "Welcome to the Graveyard Shift, Randi. It's a pleasure to have you here." Danny smiled at Randi and then began playing "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus.

"Did you have to actually play a Miley Cyrus song?" Mark asked.

"Yes. And you should be glad it's 'Party in the USA' and not 'Meet You Again,'" Danny chuckled.

"Someone just texted in a picture of their junk," Randi said.

"Here, let me show you how we deal with stuff like that," Danny reached over, selected the phone number and then blocked the number. "There. He won't be bothering us again."

Welcome Back

I put up a poll back on the 22nd wanting people to vote on what would be the future of Watch This Space. One person voted. But during the time the poll was up I kind of figured out what I want to do. I do want to restore Watch This Space and I have things queued up to begin later this week including a new Story Series and Thursday Comics. A new but familiar feature will be this one: Capt. Brian's Whiz-Bang which will be like a simple blog entry focusing on whatever I want to talk about today that will end with commentary on "The Born Loser." If you don't want to read what I write then you can skip on down to the comic.

You may know "Whiz-Bang" from the early days of Fawcett Publications. Captain Billy's Whiz-Bang was started by Wilford Fawcett (Captain Billy) in 1919 and was a bawdy cartoon and humor magazine. It lasted until 1936 and Wilford died of a heart attack in 1940. Fawcett Publications went to Wilford's sons who began publishing comic books ultimately publishing Whiz Comics #2 which introduced Captain Marvel, now Shazam!.

"The best defense is a good offense. Know who said that? Mel, the cook on Alice."

But seriously, it's suggested that Chairman Mao first opined what would become "the best defense is a good offense." His quote was "the only real defense is active defense." The same strategy was also discussed by Machiavelli and Sun Tzu. I find it sad that a phrase used for war is now considered a sports analogy.