Hanging Off the Back of the Chair Probably Isn't Helping You Stay Cool

April 26, 1987

Bo Derek does not consent! I've never had a dream (or nightmare) that made me not want to go to sleep. They may be scary or unsettling or just plain cruel, but I enjoy sleep too much. Just like in real life, you are not entitled to dream women.

Why is it so hot in the house? I don't care if it feels like a 115 outside, it should be vastly cooler indoors even with just the shade and lack of air flow. I thought Gladys was not going to give a shit this year.

Hottest day of the year...so far. We still got August to get through.

🠄 What started as just wanting to know more about this elephant debacle turned into researching the elephant. While I never found out what happened with Myrtle and Singh after their stop in Topeka, I think it's interesting nonetheless.

If you would like to support me or this website, you can check out the support page at the top. You can also contact your Congresspeople and urge them to do something about releasing the Epstein files (because Trump clearly doesn't want that information out) and ending starvation in Gaza.

I'd Rather Play at the Park But Sure Let's Learn Some Words

September 15, 1966

I'm terrible at plumbing stuff but I've never had this happen. How would this happen? You know what? I don't need to know. What happens between a man and his plunger is none of my business.

Curiosity is when you don't know if President Trump's name is in the Epstein files but you want them released just so you know who we should go after, if not criminally, civilly. Ignorance is when you don't know if President Trump's name is in the Epstein files so you go to great lengths to cover the files up including offering immunity to the woman who trafficked the victims, point fingers at other people, and just say that the files don't exist. Wait. That's not ignorance. That's called "conspiracy". If Trump isn't in those files, he's certainly behaving like he is.

I hear kids do this all the time. They learn a new word and immediately want to tell their friends about it, and their friends are excited that not only did their friend learn something, their friend now gets to teach them.

Topeka Elephant Visit

Arokiaswami Arumei Singh, twelve police officers, and an elephant walked eastward down 29th Street in Topeka, Kansas after a circus performance held at a shopping center in 1964. The elephant had stopped at two gas stations to drink and hose itself off while on its way out of town. They went four miles out of town (roughly to Croco Road) and then went south to a farm where the elephant was going to stay.

Singh had come to the United States from India in 1947 with Louis Reed and a shipment of elephants. Originally Singh and the elephants were part of the Dailey Brothers Circus which then became the Ben Davenport Circus. According to various circus sites online and people who saw the show, the elephants--Myrtle, Tillie, and Jenny--were very popular.

Myrtle, Tillie, and Jenny the elephants. Louis Reed is in the foreground.
His wife, Adele Nelson poses on top of an elephant.

Singh, not wanted to work for the Davenport Circus anymore for what he was getting paid, claimed ownership of Myrtle, citing that he received the elephant as back pay, and left the circus. According to elephant databases, Myrtle continued to perform in various circuses until her death in 1983. It's estimated that Myrtle was around 55-years-old.

I couldn't find any information on Arokiaswami Singh after 1964. Congress granted him citizenship in 1952, but what happened after he left the circus is unknown.

A poster illustration by Bill Balentine showing an Adele Nelson Elephant Circus show. Adele is inside
the ring, surrounded by her elephants, Myrtle, Tillie, and Jenny.

Veeblefester Said Surrounded By Sacks of Money

September 14, 1966

You don't hear about witches using bombs very often. I guess that's a witch. I guess it could just be a very sinister person wearing a dark trench coat and one of those floppy slouch hats. Anyway, I wonder what they are going to blow up.

It's easy to say "money isn't everything" when you have a lot of money.

"It's okay you didn't get the raise. It's not like groceries haven't gone up 3% since January and utilities keep raising rates, and wages have been stagnant for about four years, and everything is going up because of profits and tarrifs. We'll get by somehow. Maybe we can sell Wilberforce or they'll reopen those mines children used to work in."

Take It Easy

September 13, 1966

Assuming this guy works at a toy factory, in what world does a child want a wind-up toy of this random man? "It's the hottest toy this season: Thornapple from Engineering! Wind him up and watch him go!" Who's the audience for that? Me and maybe two other people?

Is this like a Small Wonder situation where he built dozens (hundreds?!) of small human-like toys and not one horrifying human-like toy?

"Kill. Murder. Destroy."

It's not (completely) your fault, Brutus. We were promised that we could have a good job for 30-40 years that pays well to raise a family on and corporations broke that social promise by prioritizing making the people who don't actually do any work more money. Burn down the system, kids. Burn. It. Down.

It's All Pig

September 12, 1966

On a casual glance with this comic, I initially thought "Oh, no! Their buddy (probably Thornapple) has been turned into a vampire! What a horrible night for a curse!" But he's just stuck in his sleeping bag and apparently we can't just pull that down to get him out?

It's fried ham slices/pieces. How can you not tell the difference? Has Brutus never seen bacon and/or Canadian bacon before? Is today is first day on Earth?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 988. If you are a part of the LGBTQ+ community and need help, you can contact the Trevor Project.

One Last Hair

September 10, 1966

Just wipe the mustard off with a napkin. It doesn't require becoming a thorn in the hot dog stand guy's side. Also, you'd get less wet--although I guess you would've had to get out in the rain to order and get the hot dogs.

There is someone in the backseat of the car, right?

"It's okay, Dad, you just talk to your hair. We don't mind."

I've often wondered if I would just shave my head or just go bald naturally whenever I start to lose my hair. I guess it depends on how I look. I mean, Brutus doesn't look silly with his bald head. Maybe it's because he doesn't have a forehead. The bridge of his nose just becomes his skull. My head doesn't do that.

Don't forget to follow me on social media which is linking above in the About page. You can see some photos from my tour this weekend of our local abandoned Security Benefit Clock Tower which has sat abandoned since 2004.

🠄This 'Help' was scrawled on the wall of the Security Benefit building in some sort of once-viscous brownish liquid that I hope was once ketchup and not, you know, poop.

Lackadaisical Monday Quickies

September 9, 1966

This is what I would do if you wanted to shoot an arrow off my head, I'd throw the apple at you. Or whatever is going on here.

Is Brutus the proverbial blood in the water?

I'm glad Wilberforce differentiated the Shark Week on TV as opposed to the other shark week we hear about.

Cool Breeze

April 19, 1987

This is how I always feel when I have to comment on a golf comic. I can only say so much about it. The ball is only half a foot from the hole! Just wake up and tap it in!!

Yeah, and? Turn off the furnace and let me enjoy my chilly house and glass of ice tea on this hot summer day.

"You've got the air conditioning running full blast! I can't make my brown-tinted AI slop when the house is this cold!"

If you haven't seen the new Superman movie, please do so. You won't regret it. I want to go see it again. In the meantime, Superman and Batman are on the trail of a vampire in this review of Action Comics Annual #1 from 1987. If you would like to support me or this website, you can click Support at the top of the page.

Ms. Yuck

September 8, 1966

I love these rain showers. Oh, cool. You're going to rain just enough to get me wet, get my car dirty, and make it feel like we're in an oven afterwards. Cool. Cool cool cool.

Has Hurricane Hattie tasted an oyster? Usually kids just hate something because it looks gross and looks like it would taste gross. I'm impressed Hattie has at least tried oysters. Maybe you should tell Hattie and Wilberforce to start looking for pearls.

Superman & Batman in "Skeeter!"

In the post-Crisis continuity, Superman didn't meet Batman until Man of Steel #3 (1986) and they weren't exactly the best of friends. I feel they had some respect for each other but since their fighting styles were so different, neither quite trusted each other. That would later change as the stories continued.

I've always been a fan of comic book annuals and specials because they can tell a longer story and not really have to fit within the current continuity. Even if I'm not reading the regular monthly titles, I may pick up an annual or special here or there. You can read my old look at the Superman Special from 1992 here.

In 1986, John Byrne rebooted Superman. There were three annuals for that year, one for each of the ongoing Superman titles. Superman Annual #1 by John Byrne, Ron Frenz, and Brett Breeding featuring Titano; The Adventures of Superman Annual #1 by Jim Starlin, Dan Jurgens, and Steve Montano that introduced Hfuhruhurr; and Action Comics Annual #1 by John Byrne, Arthur Adams, and Dick Giordano which has Batman and Superman taking on a small town overrun with a vampire. I've always been interested in this story but had never read it. The idea of child vampires has always intrigued me even though most stories about vampires, to me, are all poorly written. Anyway, thanks to Superman: The Man of Steel Volume 6 which reprints the three 1987 annuals, I am finally able to read it. Skeeter is a young girl who is a vampire. She lives in a small town who are finally fed up with her family. Skeeter then decides to embrace her vampiric ways which bring Batman and Superman into it.

A young girl, Skeeter, is being chased through a swamp by a bunch of townspeople with torches and pitchforks. We don't know her deal yet, but it can't be good if torches and pitchforks are involved. I've never understood the oversexualized take on Skeeter when I see images from this issue, because she never uses it, but whatever. I've also never understood the Mr. Peanut shirt--and it's the only thing she wears!

Skeeter is able to ditch the townspeople and returns to her dilapidated home where she laments leaving for the big city. Apparently when she returned, her mother and father were dead and she blames the townsfolk for it.

Three days later, a stranger rides into town. Well, two strangers--a Ms. Carson and a man who gets a bite to eat and a hotel room. Turns out, it's Batman in disguise. What's he doing here?

He notices that the locals are walking in pairs or in groups and wonder what is going on when the quiet is broken by a woman's scream. Batman rushes to an alley and sees Ms. Carson lying in the trash with her throat ripped out and blood drained. Just like in Gotham. A bunch of townspeople surround him in the alley and Batman has to use a smoke grenade to escape. Batman flashes back to Gotham where Batman witnessed the same thing and taps into the town's phone line to get a message to Superman.

As Batman comes down from the telephone pole, Skeeter approaches him. Skeeter is glad to see him and even hugs him. Batman is, as he should be, very confused.

Superman arrives in town and discovers that people are still awake, walking the streets, even children, despite it being four in the morning. Superman decides to make his first stop at the sheriff's office. The sheriff is very happy to see Superman. Meanwhile, Skeeter is leading Batman through the swamp, back to her house. Skeeter introduces Batman to her dead parents and is glad he can help them. Batman exclaims "Good Lord!" and Skeeter becomes afraid of him and his exclamation of "Lord".

Elsewhere, the sheriff takes Superman to the hospital to show Superman what has been going on in their town. The sheriff leads Superman to a wing that is padlocked and boarded up with armed guards. He opens the door for Superman and he is stunned by what he see.

Back with Skeeter, since Batman isn't who she thought he was, she begins to do something to him. Fearing being around Skeeter much longer, Batman crashes through the window and sinks into the quicksand outside the house. Since no one is going to help her, Skeeter decides to help on her own.

Back at the hospital, a loud noise comes from the secure hospital wing and everyone has broken out. Superman rushes off to do what he can while the sheriff calls the National Guard. The escapees are causing general terror around town but not hurting anyone. Superman uses his super speed to try to capture the escapees and contain them. With the vampiric townspeople no longer a problem, Skeeter makes her presence known, ready for a battle with Superman.

Skeeter, real name Elly Mae Skaggs as we learn, attacks Superman and slashes his chest, because she's supernatural and Superman is vulnerable to supernatural things. Clearly Skeeter is trying to hypnotize Superman to join her. She is just about to sink her teeth into Superman's neck when a wooden stake comes piercing through her chest from behind. Batman is back, having survived the quicksand, and Skeeter shrivels into dust and dies. Superman thanks Batman and I guess all the townspeople return to normal?

Back in Gotham City, they are exhuming the people killed by Skeeter. Batman explains to Commissioner Gordon that Skeeter was born back in 1865 and that she and her parents became vampires over a hundred years ago. But it's not over yet, Batman still has to pound wooden stakes into the hearts of the deceased before night falls.

Who turned Skeeter and her parents into vampires? Should we be concerned about him? How did Skeeter's parents die? It's alluded that the townspeople did something, but it's not clear. Expose them to sunlight?

Oddly, vampires would become kind of a regular villain for Superman during this period. Superman and Robin would team up in the summer of 1992 to battle vampires. Superman and Jimmy will also come into contact with vampires in early 1995. I guess because vampires are an actual threat to Superman.

King of Over the Hill

September 7, 1966

SHOOT 'EM!! Who cares if they are in the shape of heart and spelling MOM, you could probably down two or three of them since they are all clustered together like this!

Uncle Ted, you've been over the hill for years now. Hell, Brutus is over the hill now, too.

I'm more concerned that usually polite baristas are going around calling people of certain ages "old-timer". "Medium hot mocha with cinnamon for the old-timer!" "Large wrinkled middle finger for the whippersnapper, you dick."

Needs Improvement

September 6, 1966

Shouldn't that be "Daddio" or something? I don't even really know what's going on here. Are they in a music shop? A studio? His hair isn't even that long. God, these generational arguments are so idiotic.

But the important thing is that you still have a job. Your incompetence is clearly something Veeblefester needs and believes your idiocy is worth every penny. It probably helps boost office morale.

So you're saying that I buy a kids' meal without a kid, who might be home by the way, I don't get a toy?

September 3, 1966

Are we making chicken strips? Because this starts out like my chicken strip recipe. This is much better loser material than yesterday's comic.

At least they have a book to keep them entertain as they float on vast wasteland of the ocean.

Uh, no. I paid full price for the kids' meals so I am entitled to the toy. I don't even care if they are the same thing at this point.

And It'll Be Four of the Same Toy

September 2, 1966

How is this being a loser? He's not drowning and he can clearly swim. There better be sharks or piranhas coming or something. This comic is called The Born Loser and I expect to see some loser behavior.

Jesus Christ! Even the cashier is concerned. She can't have Brutus' death at the hand of the four kids' cheeseburger meals she will ring up on her conscious.

It's just lunch (I'm assuming). You don't need a giant meal, just enough to tide you over until dinner. Kids' meal and an apple pie should be fine, Brutus. Are you just eating because you're bored?

Why Does He Still Have That?

September 1, 1966

Looks like Brutus thinking only with his penis has come back to bite him in the ass. I don't feel this is a think for proto-Gladys to get upset about. Although I'm having trouble trying to figure out why and when Brutus was in Paris. World War II? That was twenty years before this comic. Now I'm concerned about the age of this French woman at that time.

This strip is clearly for people of a certain age. I'm an old Millennial and do not know of this clothing style.

The thing is, Brutus and Gladys should be older Millennials as well. Or young Gen X. They should also not know of this style.

Is That a New Phrase In These Cooking Shows That Are All the Rage?

April 12, 1987

Is it this test pattern? Because I could watch it all day.

This one, not so much...

God, remember when TV networks would end at a certain time because who would be up at two ayem(?!) watching TV? Such a simpler time. I'd ask why Brutus isn't watching Nick at Nite, but Fernwood 2 Night is probably on.

Why is cooking so hard for Gladys? You just follow the instructions. I'm a complete moron and I cook things perfectly fine. That's also such a weird trope--a housewife that can't cook. "This character is so dumb, they can't follow a simple recipe, hyuck, hyuck!"

Culinary arsonists seems like a cool descriptor, but I feel it cheapens all the real arsonists out there burning down warehouses, businesses late on protection payments, and fathers who are wanting to start a new life without their family.

Check out the long-winded origin of Firehair! from yesterday. Go see the new Superman movie (I'm seeing it Tuesday). And don't forget to click Support at the top of the page.

Suddenly I See...

August 31, 1966

Everything about Agnes here is great. From the tattoo to leaning on the broom and that cigar dangling between her fingers *chef's kiss*.

*gets new glasses* "Wow! I've never seen so well in my life! *looks in mirror* Oh, god. I'm hideous... *sobs*"

Being rejuvenated is more of a feeling that you don't need good vision for, but whatever Uncle Ted.

Firehair!

Firehair!, or Lynn Cabot if you're nasty, made her debut in Rangers Comics #21 (Feb. 1945). The comic was published by one of Fiction House's many subsidiaries. Rangers Comics was an anthology that featured the U.S. Rangers, a ragtag group of "best specimens of American youths" recruited by the FBI.

Firehair was created by John Starr, a pen name for John Mitchell (1900-?), who wrote many western-themed comics during the Golden Age, and Lee Elias (1920-1998) who was a stalwart artist for Fiction House, Harvey, and DC from 1943 until 1980, mainly focusing on western, war, and horror comics.

Firehair was originally Princess Smith. I'm not positive if she was a princess or if Princess is her name. I think it's her name. It doesn't matter because she would be renamed to the aforementioned Lynn Cabot in issue #24.

Firehair would make her last appearance in Rangers Comics #65 in 1952. Ironically, her last appearance would feature art taken from Rangers Comics #30 from 1946 being reused to tell an all new story.

Did wealthy people really arrive in the West looking like this? "I'm here to start a new life! Where's the rich neighborhood? I brought a pan, where's the gold to scoop up?"

You at least don't stand out or draw attention to yourself.

I know she's using 'queer' in the 'weird' sense but I could see Firehair being a bisexual icon.

A new name? A new country? Are they running from something? That's the only reason you'd move out West and change your name. What crimes were committed in Boston?

I don't think the mules are going to help you find a man. That's not really their thing.

🎵Mule train, mule train

Clippity clopping over hill and plain

Seems as how they'll never stop

Clippity clop, clippity clop

Clippity, clippity, clippity, clippity

Clippity clopping along

There's a plug of chaw tobaccy for a rancher in Corona

A guitar for a cowboy way out in Arizona

A dress of calico for a pretty Navajo

Get along mule, get along🎶

What the hell does that mean?

Hey, Dad, watch the hands.

Wait. You brought what you are running from with you? I'm sure this will be explained later...

What's this guy smoking? I think I know what he's saying, but I'm being more than generous.

The writer is trying to be artistic with his words, but it's really just coming off as weird.

It's one thing to paint stuff on your face trying to look like a Native American, but it's really another level to paint your entire body to look like a Native. That's commitment. Commitment to the bit and to the outstanding amount of racism.

"We haven't had any trouble on this trip, have we?" "No. That's never happened before." Cool. That's what I want to hear when I'm travelling.

I don't like that the local Natives are helping these white people with this. But I guess if the other option is being slaughtered, then I understand.

Sure, your dad can help you. Let him just pull that arrow out of his chest, fix his bones that were crushed by the mules and wagon, and climb back into the wagon.

Everyone had to die so that Firehair could live.

Ok. That's enough. Just pillage the wagon and move on. You don't need to comment on her looks.

"...a hidden watcher comes alive..." "I'm going to be blamed for this, aren't I?" he asks himself.

"I walked through the desert with a girl-with-no-name..."

I would've brought her with me, too. It's not a good look to just leave a dying person if you truly have the ability to save them.

Oh, hey. He really does have two horns.

"The mules...The mules! Daddy! Bones breaking. Flesh tearing...!"

Judgement drums? That sounds made up. Haunting, but made up.

"We are going to be blamed for the slaughter of these white people so we should kill this other white person." I don't think that's a good idea. She's here and alive so is proof that maybe you didn't do those crimes.

What the hell is going on? "My knife defends the claim!"? Ok.

"His knife has spoken..." as he casually gestures to the knife thrown into the ground. I'm going to start doing this at meetings. I'm going to make a passionate declaration and then throw a knife in the ground and walk off like this with my arms raised to the heavens.

This kind of ended abruptly. Let's see how Rangers Comics no. 22 starts out.

Ok. Now Firehair looks younger. I thought she was in her 20s but is she a teenager?

"Babble like a fat papoose"? Don't all papooses babble? Because they are babies/children?

The white person has saved the tribe. It's a tale as old as time. And let me guess, she is better at being a Native American than the Native Americans, right?

Is this how Firehair (and the other women of the tribe) spend their day? Fighting with each other? Ladies, ladies. You're both good archers.

This white woman is far better than any of our women. She should beat all of them up.

Blaze-Face? You mean a bear? Does she not know what a bear is? Do these Natives not know what a bear is? I get they'd have their own name for it, more than likely, but Little Ax is acting like he's never seen a bear before.

What? They were looking at horses? I thought she thought a bear was just a big, furry horse.

You can't tame him! He's wild!

Is she going to tackle and fight a bear now?

Okay...

You've been calling this horse Blaze-Face for how long, but now you're going to call him Devil-Eye?

You'll never tame him. He's wild. (She's totally going to tame him, right?)

I'm growing bored by this. Firehair essentially trains Devil-Eye by the next full moon, whenever that's supposed to be. Meanwhile, the group of men who slaughtered the mule train she was with are planning another raid.

It's not really clear what the white men are trying to do. They mention all the stuff the various tribes have made and the large collection of horses. The tribes are apparently all getting together for their warrior races or whatever because it means no one will be guarding anything and all the good fighters will be distracted. Easy pickens.

Firehair has to stay back with the other women so she is able to fight back, but most of the marauders are able to escape.

Blackie...I think that's his name... is clearly plotting revenge because as long as Firehair is alive, Blackie and his gang are in danger.

Maybe his name is Fingers...

I appreciate the soap opera like continuity, but this is where I'm stopping. If you would like to read more Firehair, you can at the Digital Comics Museum.