Saturday, December 10, 2011

Lindsay But the Thornapples Are Here, Too (NSFW)

We're going to be doing something a little different today as Lindsay Lohan's Playboy pictures have "leaked!" Oh boy! So first there will be a comic then, if you want, you can continue to the NSFW portion of today's post. Let's get started.
Huh? Picture-in-picture doesn't have sound so I can only assume Brutus switches back and forth from channel to channel.

Anyway, I am baffled by these women who know their husbands/boyfriends/fiances are obsessed with sports and constantly complain about it. This clearly isn't a new thing. You knew this about your guy when you started dating. How about taking the time you use to complain about it and use it to get yourself a new hobby?

So the big news of the last twelve hours is, and I use the phrase "big news" loosely here, is that Lindsay Lohan's Playboy shoot has, of course, been leaked. I'll admit, I was a big Lindsay fan from way back when. I thought he was cute and sexy but then, something happened. Somehow, between making Mean Girls and being a lesbian, Lindsay got addicted to drugs and drinking and dyeing her hair. I continued to try to like her. She made some bad movies, did rehab, went to being straight then bi then straight again. Then I stopped paying attention and during that time she was arrested and hit a parked car or something and she may have killed someone, I don't know.

Mainly, she wasn't the Lindsay we all loved anymore. I was really looking forward to her Playboy pictures because I figured they would be able to make her look sexy again, like she did in the Before Time. But instead we get this:
First of all, there's no full frontal. Lindsay's breasts are old news as she already has done pictures baring her breasts. Second, hasn't she already done the whole Marilyn Monroe thing? Why, yes she has. Third, none of the images shown look Photoshopped. Her breasts are saggy, you can see her freckles very clearly and her nipples are nearly nonexistent. Now, while I don't expect Playboy to completely erase her freckles, I do expect them to lift her breasts and darken her nipples because you can barely see those things.

Maybe in the actual magazine the pictures will be better. I'm still kind of under the impression that these are not the final versions and the ones that will appear in the magazine will be much better. All I can say is, I want redhead Lindsay back but I'm pretty sure all of her hair fell out and now she wears a wig.

I will admit that she has a nice ass.