Thursday, May 01, 2008

Born Loser Casting Call

What if they made a Born Loser movie? Don't say they won't. Look at the other crap Hollywood has been producing lately. If Hollywood decided to option TBL as a movie, I hope they would use a lot of dark humor. And these actors. Danny DeVito would direct.

Bruce Willis may be an odd choice for the role of Brutus Thornapple but with Willis' recent hairstyle, he looks a lot more like Brutus plus it would lend a pretty decent name to the movie making the movie a lot more universal.

Kathy Bates is a good pick for Gladys Thornapple even though she's not as tall as Gladys is in the strip. She has the look and the appeal to look almost like Gladys so this is probably the best pick of the entire cast.

Jimmy "Jax" Pinchak is a name you might not know. He played Jody in the WB version of Family Affair with Gary Cole and Tim Curry. His cute looks and blond hair is a perfect fit for Wilberforce. Plus he's the same age as the next star...

Abigail Breslin who'll portray Hurricane Hattie. She has the look and the hair of Hattie and she can do dark humor perfectly so yet another good casting choice. I'm good at this.

John Larroquette I have casted as Rancid Veeblefester. I'm going for Larroquette's sardonic way of speaking, his humor and his gorgeous silver mane of evil to bring a new age of Dickensian caricature to Ol' Veeblefester.

Rhea Perlman as Lividea Veeblefester? Yes. I feel the contrast is great between her and Larroquette and I feel that a smart, attractive, well-to-do man, six-foot-four man being bossed around by dimunitive Perlman is hilarious.

And finally, Beatrice Arthur as Ramona Gargle, Gladys' mother. Arthur has proven herself time and time again as a wonderful actress and a good sport. And I can totally see her reeming Bruce Willis.

Think you can do better? Let me know. Obviously I only did this because I was bored. Lousy Internet.